Newlylooking

First things first- no married men or those who are attached should contact me - especially those who are pussy whipped at home and are looking for release from their unhappy home circumstances.

I have tried many times to determine what I want from this site, but it has been a difficult query to answer for myself. Where I like a stronger man and the idea of being dominated, I do not wish to be broken beyond recognition. My capacity for giving is inherent, but I am not looking for some cruel person hell bent on taking the cumulative anger he has collected and internalized from his mother and/or from every woman who has caused him pain and have it turned on me. I simply wish to love and be loved for the loving and giving woman that I am. Granted, I love the vanilla but really seem to need it with a deeper twist. It makes more sense to me that way. I wish to be true to my nature.

I want a relationship in all this, something that is rooted and with a sense of forever after. I require a trusting give and take circumstance that builds over time, a wave of sorts that gets bigger and more intense and washes over us both. However, I don't need a relationship for the sake of not being alone. In that case, I would rather be alone. Maybe this relationship ideal cannot be found here either, but I am hopeful as I believe no place- no stone- no corner should be left unexplored to find something that is all encompassing.

I feel the need to add this. As I chat about with men here, I have noticed that there are men who offer me their resume of sorts. I am given a litany of areas of expertise and what they wish me to be for them. Or they will deliver to me the years of "catch and release." I am an adult human woman- not a fish. Come on- I am who I am just as you are who you are. This medium is contrived enough. It has an element that starts at a disadvantage because this is an unnatural way to make human contact, essentially because one is able to express another side of him or herself that may not be true to his or her expressible nature. It is like a twisted version of Cyrano. This is not because of the nature of the site- per se- but because writing style is not usually a layer of seduction when people meet for the first time. This speaks to any site where human beings are looking to make human connections through a medium that is not human. What makes things more complicated here is that so many who have contacted me want to establish a solid persona that is a doppelganger to the normal day to day that they celebrate and expect me to fall in line without true growth or progression or trust. Holy Moly!

Tom Smith wants me to call him "Master Tom" or "Master Smith" or just "Master" from the inception. "Master" is not a term I may ever want to use with someone. I would much prefer feeling his mastery over me and allow that to manage my behavior- not his force but his strength. I prefer a navigation that has a mesmerizing affect that speaks to parts of myself that either I forgot were there or never knew were there in the first place. STRENGTH IS NEVER MEASURED BY FORCE, BUT BY THOSE WHO FOLLOW ONE WITHOUT PRESSURE. Dominant is something you just are or are not. A true dominant understands the strength in compromise and understands that the rose is still a rose even if it is called dung.

I am decidedly a strong woman with alpha tendencies. As such, this elusive man must be uber alpha.