1. Start off telling us how sexy, gorgeous we are. Even better compliment our boobs, asses or twats. We really like the Internet version of catcalling to flood our inboxes.
2. Move immediately into intimate details of where you'd like to hide your pickle. Our favorite is when you go straight for the ass. Who needs niceties? We're here for your entertainment, right?
3. Ask us immediately if we kik/Skype/Snapchat. We're all dying to give out that information before even saying hello!
4. Make sure to skim or avoid our profiles totally. It's not like we've taken the time to fill it out for you to actually read. They're too long and we know you don't have the time in between messages to actually do that.
5. If our profile says we're in a relationship, that's ok, it's just a suggestion. We don't really take them seriously, why should you? And if you do notice, we can all be stolen away from our SOs. I mean, you are God's gift!
6. We love it when you call us baby/babygirl/sweetie/honey (I'm the exception that's my SN)/insert pet name here. We don't expect you to remember the names of every woman you're chatting with, so a generic pet name totally works!
7. When sending the initial message, a long copied and pasted message is the best way to go. Personalized messages? Ugh, what a nightmare!!!!
8. Did I mention that insulting us after a rejection always makes us change our minds? Always. We're just testing your resolve when we turn you down. Come back at us with an insult and we'll melt like butter.
9. We also melt for immediate dominance/submission. Start off as if we belong to you, own you, owe you our dominance and owe you our submission. How could a girl say no?
10. Send us several friend requests in a row if we deny them. We love persistence.
