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I am a Dom who lives alone in his own home in Chula Vista, California (a bit South of San Diego). I have been active in real-life BDSM since 1997 and I have been active in the San Diego BDSM community since 1998. I am 6 feet tall and heavy set. I have grey eyes that do look blue at times, brown hair and a PhD in science and engineering. I never took up smoking, drinking, or the use of illegal drugs. I have two children, both grownup and living on their own. I do get short visits from time to time but they do not spend any regular time at my home. I am divorced.

If you are or have been active in the San Diego BDSM community, we might well have met. You would have been introduced to me as either Master Drew or by Master of the Deep. If you are new to the San Diego BDSM community or not a part of it, I do recommend it. My volunteering in the local community has included two terms as Vice President of Club X, San Diego (the largest pansexual BDSM organization in San Diego), numerous teaching roles (more than 20 a year) at workshops and exploritoriums with a foucs on various types of electrical play, extreme vibrators, fucking machines and Sybians, and single tail whip play (both long and short whips), and a year as the official Dungeon Master trainer and Head DM for the Club X play party DMs. Also, I established and continue to own most of a BDSM lending library that supports learning in the community, I run a monthly single tail whip practice, and for a few years I ran a weekly BDSM Social at the Flame where ten to thirty people would drop by for conversation, dancing and pool. I was surprised and flattered, when in 2003 when I was nominated for the Southern California Regional Award for my leather leadership efforts by the Pantheon of Leather and again in 2009 when I was awarded the Club X Sentinel of Leather Award 2008 (Individual). I like to be active in the community and I like to share that enjoyment with my partner. I active in a Dom Poker night monthly and I have from time to time hosted play parties in my home.

What do I like? I like a relationship where the partners can communicate honestly, where they share the joys of both giving and receiving with each other and, as a couple with the community, where each is focused on enabling the others happiness, and where each cares for the others feelings and needs. I like very sensual and sexual play that often centers on the orgasmic response of my partner. I like to combine types of play, bondage with electrical and king for instance playing the components through the scene to accentuate the responses. I like to share a sense of discovery of how responses can be heightened with my partner, and particularly the satisfaction of some new plateau along the way. Feeding this sense of discovery has lead me to understand that finding things that are new to us (even things infrequently revisited) is an important component of keeping things fresh. Still forced orgasm play, cuddling after play and other favorites are like a comfortable old chair, too precious to leave unused for long. I have a wide variety of play type experiences and I have covered them as clearly as possible in the checklist but I would caution people from reading too much into it. What has proved to be highly orgasmic play with some has flopped with others and my interests in several of the more extreme types of play were the result responses to them of my past partners. While I would feel too limited with a partner who enjoyed no s of SM, there are many types of play I have enjoyed in the past I would be quite happy to put aside if the current partner did not respond well to them.

What do I dislike? I dislike dishonesty, deception, evasion, and manipulation. I do not want to be involved with anyone who is currently a user of illegal drugs or an abuser of alcohol. Responsible, social use of alcohol is perfectly fine. People with a life history of substance abuseaddiction and or serious mental instabilities need support and treatment. In my opinion, it would be inadvisable to start a relationship under such conditions.

I have allergies to smoke and pet dander. I have difficulty spending much time in my garage for the day or two after a big party (it is where the smokers can smoke) so the issues is a physical one with me. In my last live-in relationship my slave had a cat and I took preion allergy medications which nearly eliminated my pet-related medical problems.

I am currently unattached. Drew

11/22/2017 5:26:53 PM
So Vimeo decided that they didn't like my educational videos either so if you are not a paying member of Fetlife then they are unavailable until I can figure out another approach.
8/27/2017 1:45:21 AM
All of my toy/play technique educational videos on youtube have been deleted so the links in the journal will not work.  Some of them are in the videos on my fetlife account.  Until I can find another way to host them they will be otherwise not available.

Until I can find another site, for those who are paying members of (non paying members can't see videos there) they are posted on my profile there: MasteroftheDeep.

Update:  Trying Vimeo for some of my videos as an experiment.

Vimeo version: Password is Drew-MotD . Let me know if you have problems seeing these as this is still an experiment.

Working on high end fucking machine use for future workshop and took some videos of Holly rocking the Shockspot fucking machine and the G5 GMB vibrator together while strictly bound on the Fuckbench.

 with both devices on low;

 with G5 off and SS on half speed;

 SS and G5 on half speed with immediate squirting and dildo being pushed out;

 SS and G5 on full speed gave best in class orgasm.

8/22/2017 4:33:03 PM

So I haven’t had a lot of success posting pics and vids on this site recently so I thought I would post a link to my most recent experiments with some exceptional vibrators used both externally and internally.  I am not sure if the links will make it or be usable but feel free to ask for them in a message if not. 


Starts with finding the G5:


Trying it with other toys:


Bigger is better in some ways:


Innovation to make things even better:


Recent review of a knockoff of the G5:


6/8/2017 10:11:50 PM
So in an effort to enhance what is already the best vibrator that I know of for internal use I got the idea to use a penis extender on the large blunt applicator (note this applicator doesn’t come with the G5 but needs to be bought separately). From prior use I knew that the more powerful GK-3 wasn’t well tolerated for internal use (though it is great on clits) as its greater power and stroke (compared to the GBM) gave some discomfort against the pelvic bone. I had hoped to prevent that with the give in the sleeve part of the penis extender while also getting the advantage of a deeper and fuller feeling when inserted than with the applicator alone. Here is the video that talks about the idea

 . Many thanks to Holly for throwing herself on this grenade and squirting on it until they were both done.

 . One caution, like the proton beams in the original Ghost Busters, you shouldn't let the two applicators touch. It creates a bad pinch point for vaginal lip tissue when they do.
5/22/2017 5:04:08 PM
I am doing a workshop in June 2017 on fucking machines for those who have been asking.
3/6/2017 9:56:10 PM
G5 BGM and G5 GK3 vibrators are the very best I have ever found.  See pic 10 in my profile.  Experiments with my new GK3 well start soon on fetlife. First filmed test. G5 GK3 on clit and G5 GBM inserted both with larger pointed applicators.… Part 1 has both set at 4 of 10 to start and halfway through they are both set to 7. Part 2 has both set at 10. Squirt in under 10 seconds.… . Thanks to Holly for throwing herself under the bus for science.
2/25/2017 12:04:18 PM
Experimenting with DIY very thuddy impact toys built from nubby foam massage rollers.  The last picture in my list of pictures.  
9/18/2016 8:48:45 PM

Working on high end fucking machine use for future workshop and took some videos of Holly rocking the Shockspot fucking machine and the G5 GMB vibrator together while strictly bound on the Fuckbench.

for both on low;

for G5 off and SS on half speed;

SS and G5 on half speed with immediate squirting and dildo being pushed out;

SS and G5 on full speed gave best in class orgasm.  

8/22/2016 8:47:33 PM
Starting on experiments with very restrictive bondage (tied down to benches) and using G5 vibrators and fucking machines over long periods.  See pic of bench and set up on profile.
8/12/2016 12:27:57 PM
Hope you didn't miss it. The meteors were spectacular last night when viewed from 4000' out in the mountains far away from other lights. 
7/29/2016 6:36:26 PM
August 2016 workshop on Rideable Fucking Machines (Sybian, Motorbunny, rocker style machines) should be a lot of fun as I have been doing lots of experiments and I have a lot to share.  Sadly it sold out several days ago but I am looking forward to the packed crowd today.  That turned out to be a really enjoyable workshop to give.  Lots of work because of all of the equipment but lots of fun seeing a dozen or so people get to ride the fucking machines for the first time.
6/30/2016 6:22:28 PM
Just finished 20+ gallons of Jambo (in a 22 gallon tub in the picture) for my hosting of Dom Poker and to have some to take to my Son and his in-laws this summer who always ask for it.  
5/19/2016 6:04:27 PM

Side by side bench test of Sybian and MotorBunny.  As you can likely see they are nearly identical.  The fit and finish of the material on the seat of the Sybian is much smoother and nicer looking though as they MotorBunny has several areas where it isn’t as well finished.  The controls are similar (sorry they didn’t make the video but look at the prior picture of just the toy itself) but the Sybian has lighted on/off switches for each control (rotation and vibration) whereas the MotorBunny has just a click stop at the low end of the dial.  The toppers seem to fit interchangeably with one exception.  The spring provided with the MotorBunny is just slightly wider in diameter than the Sybian so you can use a Sybian topper as is on the MotorBunny but to use a MotorBunny topper on the Sybian you need to use a Sybian spring.  The Materials of the toppers also seem fairly different with the MotorBunny toppers seeming more spongey and tackier.  Since the MotorBunny toppers are considerably less expensive than the Sybian ones I was hoping that they would be more similar but I have yet to do cleaning of the MotorBunny toppers and if they hold up well then they should be fine.  The MotorBunny instructions do say that everyone should have their own topper but don’t specify why and they don’t mention any issues with cleaning the toppers with sanitizer solutions either.  When I tested the MotorBunny by itself it was pretty much as I expected but it was a noticeably louder toy at the high end than any other vibrating toy I have, including the Sybian.  The noise has an evil feel which could be used in the mind fuck part of play but will be a draw back when playing in less well isolated dungeon spaces.  You are not going to be able to use this in a house without everyone knowing it, particularly if you use it on high.  See the video [here][



When I tested the two [side-by-side][

  ] you continue to see very similar performance.  The noticeable differences are that the MotorBunny is significantly louder and that the Sybian has a stronger vibration feel at the high setting (the amplitude of the vibration seems larger not the speed of the vibration).  I didn’t notice that the MotorBunny’s specified higher vibration speed nor its specified higher powered vibration motor in the testing but I didn’t instrument for that.  Overall, I like the Sybian better still.  If you were sensitive to the price difference and the added noise wasn’t a big issue for you then the MotorBunny could be an acceptable choice. 


Still what my hand interprets as nicer or more powerful might be different than what is felt by a rider with the devices under load so stand by for some comparison testing with volunteer testers down the road.  I have several other things going on for the next couple of weeks so the side by side rider comparisons might a few weeks away.  

5/11/2016 4:51:49 PM
Tomorrow I intend to have some fun.  I am presenting Club X - Xpose! Penetrative and other Genital ElectroSex.

There are many types of toys that pass current into the body and in this workshop Drew will discuss the use of Electrical Muscle Stimulators (EMS), Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS), Sex Boxes and their various accessories for erotic electrical play, their safety, how the devices work, how they can be used in play and how to integrate them into mixed or combined technique type play. This workshop will focus on genital and anal electrostimulation and one or more demos will be included in the workshop as volunteers and time allows. Learn how these devices can make your muscles internal vibrators, directly stimulate your nerves and literally force orgasmic responses. This class will discuss how to use these types of toys for erotic play for which bottoms will come back and over which you will feel in real control. If you have a favorite and/or unusual electrical toy of this type and would like to ask questions about it, or just show and tell, feel free to bring it with you. There may be limited opportunities for volunteers from the audience to feel the sensations hands on and there will be ample time to ask individual questions so come prepared with some. A handout will be provided at the end of the meeting.

Drew: AKA MasteroftheDeep has been an active member of the San Diego BDSM community since the late 1990’s. Drew has a PhD in Electrical Engineering and more than a decade of experience teaching Sadomasochistic play techniques one-on-one and at organized practices, exploritoriums, workshops and conferences both locally and nationally with a particular emphasis on all types of electrical/electrosex play and long and short single tail whip play. Formally Club X VP (elected twice), Club X Head DM, Club X Workshop Coordinator, 2003 Pantheon of Leather Community Service Award Nominee for Southern California, and 2008 Club X Sentinel of Leather Individual Awardee, Drew is also known for his Monthly Single Tail Whip Practice in the park in San Diego, his Mobile Non-fiction BDSM Lending Library (CAALL, AKA The Kinky Library) and for his continuing experimentation with new play techniques.

7/27/2015 6:17:48 PM
My next workshop will be the Club X Xhibition in August on Tasers, Stun Guns/Batons, Shock Knives and Stock Prods and I will be featuring new Taser/Stun Gun extensions that make them feel way different (and better for most people).  
6/21/2015 1:43:00 AM
I had a great experience coordinating and presenting at the Club X Xtreme Workshop on Machine Sex.  Great energy and lots of audience participation during the party portion of the Xtreme.  I was teaching the Sybian and there was a lot of interest in the toy and the techniques.
4/28/2015 12:18:27 PM
So what happens when you are getting ready for an Xtreme on Machine Sex and you leave your fucking machines alone on the workbench? Machine Sex of course! Look for the Club X Xtreme on Machine Sex at it is cuming June 20th and tickets go on sale at the June Coffee Social; and they are sure to sell out quickly. Back to work for me. So a link to the video

3/29/2015 1:33:05 PM
Until I edit this who profile I am just adding at the top of the journal for now.  Here I don't talk about my teaching all that much and I thought to fix that a bit.  So my currently ongoing experiments (for more information see my profile over time at ) at this time for future workshops are: 1) I have 5 fucking machines and I am working at adding the capability to do Estim I addition to the other stimulations they provide (stroking, vibrating, rotating mostly) some of this is being done for an upcoming workshop on Machine Sex, for a laugh see the pic in my profile; 2) Tasers in play (both in stun drive mode and with the use of darts) and then modifications to the device to allow its use with TENS type pads/electrodes for play that will mimic either of the built in modes with more precision in the placement of the sensations; 3) Expansion of my still novice use of photography and videography for improving the content of my workshops and other teaching opportunities; and 4) working with a new librarian to bring the traveling non-fiction bdsm lending library (Consensual Adult Activities Lending Library, CAALL) back out in the San Diego community 90+ books and counting.
3/20/2015 3:36:04 PM
My current project:  Instead of updating this and other sites I am just going to point to the one place I am actively adding things. .
10/14/2014 11:25:33 PM
I haven't added to this for a while.  I will be teaching ElectroSex and Intense Sparking Toy Play in Louisiana soon.  Nice to have time to go teaching on the road again as that is always fun. 
4/22/2014 12:33:35 PM

I am teaching Electrosex at the Club X Xhibition in May 8th.

11/14/2013 9:47:14 PM

This Sunday (11/17) I will be presenting "Lightning in Your Hands" a workshop on violet wands at Dungeon V.

10/2/2013 8:49:38 PM

This Saturday I will be at the Club X Xplore in North County with my electrical toys.

9/29/2013 11:03:42 AM

My workshop Lightning in Your Hands on Violet Wands is today at 2pm at Dungeon V in San Diego.  Hope to see you there.

9/22/2013 1:58:36 AM

Had a good turn out for the workshop on Stun Guns, Prods and Shock Knives last Sunday.  Looking forward to doing the workshop on Violet Wands on 9/29 at Dungeon V. 

9/3/2013 10:41:57 PM

My monthly single tail whip practice is this coming Sunday.  Ask or see the various postings on another site if you want to know the details.  

8/28/2013 11:07:10 AM
I have been so busy that I have still not updated my profile for my new search, but I thought that I would drop a note about my workshop at Dungeon V in San Diego on 9/15 at 3 pm entitled Intense Sparking Toy Play. It is announced in multiple places on but if you have questions let me know. Drew
8/15/2013 3:51:40 PM

Family in town until Tuesday, not going to be online much but I will catch up when I get time.  

7/13/2013 2:18:22 PM
In LA today for a bondage workshop long drive but I am sure Jay's presentation will be worth it.
6/19/2013 10:10:31 PM

So I am back on this site and will eventually be looking again but my more exciting news is that I am doing an Unique Single Tail Event in San Diego and Dungeon V this Sunday the 23rd of June see https://.com/events/178400

 .  This event will include a whip workshop by me, a single tail exploritorium (where people can feel the whip as I throw it), a demo of me whipping a volunteer,  and a practice time in a dungeon where you can practice with your partner with coaching if desired by me.  Hope to see some of you there. Drew

4/24/2010 2:52:36 AM

Well I am hitting the road again, this time to do an electrosex workshop while attending DomConLA in May.  It should be a lot of fun as I have heard good things about the event and I am looking forward to attending many of the other workshops as much as I am looking forward to giving my own.  I am hoping there will be some good venders there as well since I always like to look at new toys and sometimes find a few must haves in the lot. 

6/6/2009 12:11:35 AM

Threshold Bound

Well I am planning another road trip.  I have a date to teach electrical play up in LA again this August 15th.  This time at Threshold, an organization whose events I have enjoyed a few times and whose members I have met at events all over LA.  I am all excited as I have also recently acquired new toys that I am looking forward to experimenting with and sharing with others.  My new ErosTek 232 may well turn out to be my favorite TENS/EMS/Sexbox type toy.  It has more nice waveforms than my prior favorite and much of the power if its big brother the ET 312 (which is a fine toy but has a poor user interface and is too large to be hand held for combination play).  I am looking at several new additions on the effector end of the toys as well.  Experimenting is fun!  Want to learn what I did from my experiments?  Drop by Threshold on August 15th for their Kink Academy and say hello.  Drew

5/2/2009 9:44:11 PM

A mixed bag: 


I have been sitting on something for a month or more and was considering if I should put it here or not.  So with all modesty I am just going to report the warm feeling I have as the 2008 Club X Sentinel of Leather Awardee for the individual category.  This is an award voted on by the membership of Club X annually.  Sadly I was sick the day of the annual volunteers’ appreciation dinner and didn’t get to hear all the nice things said first hand but I will only say the community was more than kind.  I did get ambushed for a little humiliation play at the next Club X social though and got a nice plaque, a few stares and many nice words and warm hugs.  It is good to have a community. 


Also on an up note, this month’s whip practice had a large attendance including a visitor from the east coast who runs a whip practice in his area.  It was a good deal of fun both for the novelty of many new people as well as for the interesting conversations about whips and SM whip play (while nominally a vanilla whip skill practice event in a public park, when all in attendance are known member of the BDSM community the conversations are sometimes far from vanilla). 


I also want to leave a note here in closing that I will be intermittently available to respond to messages to this profile as I am facing some intense periods of work.  If there is something I can help you with feel free to message me and I will get back to you though it might take a few days at times. 

1/30/2009 11:45:15 PM

The Audience Makes the Event!

I had an opportunity to go outside of my local bdsm community to do some teaching recently.  I was invited to present at the Lair de Sade’s Insight Event (workshop) in L.A.  Eight to ten years ago I was a frequent attendee at Lair workshops where I got a lot of valuable training.  I was both excited and apprehensive about the opportunity.  I was invited up to do a workshop on electrical play by the Lair workshop coordinator who had see some posts I had made about stun guns at a fetish site.  Unknown to the coordinator was that my first exposure to stun guns was at a workshop at the Lair many years ago on the subject.  I have had the academic experience of being asked to come teach courses that I had taken not long before when I was in graduate school and at the time it was both rewarding and awkward. 


Now the up side was that it was a workshop I have taught or demoed dozens of times.  Still as someone who rarely passes up a chance to attend a workshop I have often seen good presenters in so-so events and I hadn’t been active up in the L.A. area for some years and wondered what the audience would want or expect in the workshop.  Fortunately my presentation style is much like my cooking style, big on variety and spontaneity, if somewhat low on repeatability and adherence to recipes.  I thought about a number of things to emphasize and demo but in the end I choose to do an audience survey to guide the direction of the workshop. 


The day of the workshop I was happy to see there were some 40 people in attendance.  It seemed to be a diverse crowd of young and old, singles and couples, experienced and those more obviously new to the lifestyle.  I polled in three areas, asking who had tried or felt a violet wand, who had tried or felt a TENS/EMS/Sex Box style electrical box, and who had tried stun guns or stock prods.  A majority of hands went up for the wand, about half went up for TENS type units and only one went up for the stun guns and stock prods.  With a full 2 hours to work with I decided on the fly to do basic safety, violet wands, TENS/EMS/Sex Box, a break and then spend a larger fraction on the stun guns and stock prods.  I was betting that my prior experience with teaching stun guns and stock prods in my local community would hold true for the second half of the workshop and that I could get the audience involved with what was obviously something new but of interest to most of them.


The first half of the workshop went well and when I asked for it I got audience participation and at the break I had a chance to talk to a few people about what their expectations were about the stun gun part of the workshop.  When the workshop restarted after the break I took a bit of time to allow people to ask questions they had about the first half and then started talking to them about the safety and medical aspects of stun gun play (and to a lesser extent stock prods) all the while lighting off my most delicious sounding gun (evil grin) at regular intervals.  I always like to discus both the physical and mental aspects of play and stun guns happen to be one of the most misunderstood types of play in our S/M bag.  Making clear how they can be used in the venerable sport of the mind-fuck was first on my list of uses for the toy.  Then I talked about the physical effects and how they can produce different effects that people will come back for (at least the “right” people). 


With some 15 minutes left in the time period I then asked if anyone wanted to come up and feel the stun gun.  One very brave dom about my age came up with some show of stoic desire to learn how it felt though obviously not too keen on how it would feel.  By this time I had narrowed my air firings of my many stun guns to just two, the 100,000 volt model (the least powerful of the bunch) and my 650,000 volt model (not the most powerful but the one with the nicest sound, like rapid fire bullets going off).  I had him lean over the table and I told him I would use the smallest one first.  I gave him a short zap which caused him to jump a bit and he immediately started to walk back to his seat.  I placed my hand on his chest to hold him and he continued the walking in place motion (it was quite funny and the audience loved it).  I asked him if he wouldn’t mind sharing with the audience what it felt like and he told them of the shock feel and the strong muscle contraction but that it was really all that painful, just very surprising.

In as much as this was just want I had told the audience it would feel like before doing the demo it gave a certain credibility to the fact it is very different than what people anticipate it will feel like.  Having paused his exit long enough to have him talk to the audience I asked if he really didn’t want to try the big one too while he was up here and very reluctantly he bent back over the table.  Now I couldn’t help but demonstrate the mind-fuck part, particularly since I had this brave dom as a subject.  So I rather slowly stroked the big stun gun across his ass cheek (over his pants) not yet setting it off.  He couldn’t help but squirm it was very obvious to the audience and they loved it.  When I did finally zap him with it he again told the audience that it was about the same sensation (as I had told them it would as the sound difference or voltage rating is not well correlated with how strong it feels). 


I then asked if anyone else wanted to try the stun guns and this is where it got very interesting.  About half of the audience came up to feel it.  With so many most got an admittedly production like zap zap with the little and then big gun but there were a few who stood out in particular.  One was a lady who when she came up, near the end of the line, said to me loud enough for the audience to hear that I already had the mind-fuck part working for her.  I am not the best person to admit such things to unless of course you are really (consciously or unconsciously) asking for it (ok evil grin again).  So when she turned to lean over the table I took one gun in each hand and let off 20 or so zaps on either side of her head working my way down to her hips but without touching her or shocking her.  I was so please when she sank to her knees in a puddle (to a bit of applause from the audience).  I bent over and told her how nice that was and to stand and this time she would feel it once on each cheek as she had thought she was going to before. 


Now out of the 20 or so who came up to feel the stun gun only one came back to ask if she could feel it on her clit.  She was in jeans but that doesn’t matter for a stun gun and I told her to sit with legs spread on the table.  By this time those who were left were gathered around the table after having had their turn feeling the gun.  She gave a satisfying jump when I zapped her clit to complete the workshop. 


One should never underestimate the contribution of the audience to the success of the event.  I later got a lot of good feedback on “my” presentation but at least I know that it was as special as it was because of the audience and their willingness to participate.  If you make your way to a workshop and even if it is something you know well, be a part of the experience, ask a question (there were many at this workshop that I didn’t take the time to credit here), provide a personal insight or step up for the demo. 


After the workshop I got an email from a dom with a good deal of experience who was at the workshop.  He was kind enough to praise the workshop and thank me for giving it but he also said something to the effect that he has had a stun gun in his toy bag just for the mind-fuck for many years but now he had some other ideas for what to do with it from the workshop.  I hope to make it up to the Lair sometime in the future and see him in action, I am sure that I will learn from what I see as I learned from the questions and shared insights at the workshop. 


Having written this I am now not sure if I should post it.  It is easy to get pigeon-holed by others for something you are notable for to the exclusion of your wider self.  I will just say to balance this that electrical play isn’t the only thing I do and stun guns are the least frequent of electrical play toys that I use when I do electrical play. 


12/11/2008 11:22:52 PM

I am going to be on this site infrequently if at all during the holidays, but if you write I will reply when I get a chance.  I hope you have a happy holiday season.  Drew

11/25/2008 8:34:02 PM
I just got the confirmation that I am scheduled to present Electrical Play at the Insight at the Lair de Sade in Los Angeles on the 17th of January, 2009.  It has been a while since I taught up in the LA/OC area and I am looking forward to it.  Anyone interested in Electrical Play do stop by and say hello as I hope for a big crowd.  A bright start for me to the Holiday Season as I got the date I had reqeusted, I hope everyone else is getting in the mood to have a wonderful holiday season too.  Happy Holidays, Drew
11/7/2008 10:39:07 PM

So good news comes that will impact my time searching but doesn’t change my goals.  I have started a new and challenging job.  Challenging in part because the group I will be working with is in a bit of chaotic state at the moment.  Still this looks like an opportunity for me to contribute to something significant and I am optimistic about it.  So if you are thinking about writing me, please know that I have answered everyone who writes me and I intend to continue doing so but it might take a bit longer now.  Most of my time to do this will be on the weekends for the next few weeks at least and perhaps longer than that.  My search is still high among my priorities so please feel free to write and I will get back to you.  Drew

7/20/2008 8:56:36 PM

Lending a hand. 

As this year’s Pride Weekend approached there were many different organizations planning educational activities within the Realm of Leather tent (one of the larger areas at pride).  The local Submissive Voice group (submissive only support and social group) approached me and asked if they could borrow the Consensual Adult Activities Lending Library (CAALL) book collection I have provided as a community service for some years now to make an exhibit as part of their space in the tent.  I updated the library a bit and culled a good deal of duplicate books and provided them 58 non-fiction bdsm educational books as well as donating to them most of the duplicate books for their own use.  It was interesting to go through the library and look over each book and recall what I remember from reading it as I re-organized the library before loaning it out.  I found that I had had the opportunity to have a workshop with or a one-on-one interaction with a surprising number of the authors of books in the library.  This is largely from trips to LA dungeons and the several Black Rose conventions I have attended but more than a few have been people visiting San Diego as well.  A family opportunity to get together prevented me from being at pride this weekend and getting to see the display, but I have been promised pictures and I am curious how many of the requested 1000 handouts (library book lists) actually were taken by tent visitors. 


People frequently ask me how they can learn about the lifestyle and I am an unabashed proponent of local (and distant if you can get to them) bdsm community educational events, but reading for education is also a productive avenue.  There is much of varied quality published on the internet but I have found that the works that make it to paper publication are often the more significant ones.  Still in the final analysis I have never learned more than by doing.  Clearly as you first approach a new kink safety (or at least informed consensual risk taking) dictates some level of education before doing.  But as is true of the higher educational systems in universities, learning by doing is the proven approach to developing skill as you advance in complexity in a subject.  So you could look at this as a triad of techniques to provide a stable foundation as you build skill in bdsm.  Drawing on the analogy you should keep the three legs somewhat comparable as you build upwards.  I do hope to hear that the library served a useful purpose and I am very grateful that the Submissive Voice group took the time and put in the effort to display it.  So if you read this and are interested in the book list just ask and if you have specific interests let me know and perhaps I can recommend a specific book or two off of the list.  Drew


6/23/2008 9:02:26 PM

The Perks of BDSM Socializing

First a disclaimer: I am active in the San Diego bdsm community and both throw and attend private home social and play parties, as well as more public events.  As such I am a big proponent of community, community support, and activity for social and educational reasons.  I know people who have been in this lifestyle longer than I have where it was just the couple and no others informed or involved and who truly prospered in that context, so this is to acknowledge that my preference is not the only way.


Last Saturday night I had the latest of my monthly play parties with about 25 people at my home, almost all of whom I know fairly well.  As is often the case an invited guest asked to bring a visiting couple as guests who were also involved in the scene in LA.  I was happy to oblige.  It turns out, though I didn’t find out until half way into the party, the Dom of the couple from LA is a well known rope bondage expert and the author of one of the rope bondage books on my coffee table.  When I got the chance I enjoyed talking to him about the experiences in making the book (and accompanying DVD) and got him to autography my copy for me.  More to the point of the story, a local leather title holder (trying hard here to keep people’s privacy guarded while still telling the story) expressed interest in suspension techniques and as these things happen the suspension frame in my living room was basically a workshop on suspension for better than an hour.  As the host, I only got to see parts of it but I overheard several guests talking about things they learned in the impromptu event.  I even got a chance later in the evening to give some pointers to someone who had just obtained their first single tail whip.  I am always proud to see how willing people in this community are to share their hard won expertise in formal and casual settings.  Now this is only one example of the many perks of community but one I thought worth sharing.  Drew

4/24/2008 2:04:34 PM

I am going up to the Lair de Sade in LA this Saturday to attend an electrical play workshop by someone I haven’t seen present before, I am a great believer in that you will learn something from a new perspective.  The event organizer knows my reputation and has asked me at the last moment to help as a coach during part of the workshop and lend some of my toys for the workshop and I was flattered and happy to volunteer.  I think it will be a fun trip and perhaps something worth writing about will happen. 


I also was talking to someone who has come to know a good deal about me and I her and she was telling me that she found my profile to be intimidating when she first read it.  While she had about the same number of years of lifestyle experience I do hers was in one on one relationships alone with little exposure to a bdsm community.  I do have to say that I owe a great deal of what I know to my interaction with and the kind efforts of many people in the bdsm communities in Louisiana, DC, Florida, LA and San Diego I have had significant interaction with over the last decade plus.  I was though surprised that intimidated was the adjective used.  I am generally a pretty open individual and one of the unofficial greeters in my local community as well as a slut for opportunities to volunteer to teach and coach in the community so if someone else out there finds the profile intimidating as well, you might try giving me a shout and I don’t think you will find me abrupt or otherwise scary as far as conversations go (scary works so well in measured doses in play though, grins). 


I hope everyone has an interesting weekend.  Drew

4/6/2008 1:41:31 PM

Well I had a wonderful time doing the Club X workshop on Long and Short Whips in Play yesterday and looked like such a klutz doing it, LOL.  Now I have been running the whip practice in the park on the first Saturdays for about a decade now, and while there are several better whip throwers in San Diego than I am, I am still pretty good and only one of a few I know who will use long whips in play.  Still I let myself run afoul of something I should have anticipated as I hadn’t experienced it before but I had heard a now famous whip throwers story about it many times.  The Western Arts Council (I think that is their name) hosts or use to host a US national whip competition and there is this story about one held several years ago in Las Vegas.  It was attended by the top whip throwers in the US and many from other countries including Australia.  When the time came for the judging of the whip routines (where the thrower is doing multiple crack routines in complex patterns) these top whip makers were hitting themselves with their whips, tripping over them and generally looking totally klutzy with whips.  As it happened, they had chosen a convention site with a polished concrete floor to have the event.  When you practice with a long whip you “ground” the whip between throws.  If you practice on grass, carpet or a well waxed floor the whip stops shortly where it is grounded and you know (without thinking about it) where the whip is and that is key to your next throw.  On this polished concrete floor the whips were sliding much farther when grounded and really the cause of all the problems with these professional’s routines.  So as it would happen the hall where Club X throws its events has a older wood floor that isn’t well waxed and is at least as slick as polished concrete, so all my practice in the few moments before the workshop with long whips was totally embarrassing as I tried to get the feel for the floor.  It was hardly much better when I tried to use the 14’ whip during the workshop so I had to repeat the story of this major event as part of the workshop and not the floor with the other things I had mentioned about knowing your space if you are going to play with whips in the safety part of my presentation.  It was nice to find such a good turnout for the exploratorium part of the evening (for those of you who don’t know they term an exploratorium is something I first experienced in an early Black Rose convention and which I brought back to Club X when I was Vice President of the club; it is several stations where experts in some technique work one-on-one with those who are curious; bottoms can feel the technique and tops can learn by doing and anyone can ask questions).  There were several people who wanted to feel a bullwhip for the first time and others who wanted to learn how to throw it.  I am guessing that I will see several new faces at the monthly practice next month.  All in all it was another great night to be part of a community. 

3/24/2008 2:05:52 PM

My second play party of the calendar year was at my home last Saturday.  It was another wonderful time for me, starting with an old timer’s reunion.  Several people I have known since I started in the San Diego community more than a decade ago were here including a mistress who was organizing many of the community events at that time.  She is an old friend and though she may not fully realize it, someone whom I feel was a wonderful example to me when I was finding my way into the community.  It was really great to talk over old times, special scenes and funny out-takes from that time in my life.  Fond memories revisited.  After getting everyone into the party I was seduced into a spanking/flogging/paddling/nameless toys scene with a pair of female submissives who were both new to me as someone to play with.  It was an interesting challenge to play with two women who were clearly different in experience and tastes and do so by exploration rather than negotiation as is more typical.  I put them both bent over a massage table side by side and the scene built slowly first with hands on massage, then thuddy toys, then very thuddy toys, and on up.  I would spank one while leaning against the ass of the other to keep the dynamic going as best I could with both as the scene progressed.  There was the wonderful stage when the first stingy toys were in use where both girls were just giggling away as I amped up the sensations.  Laughter is a wonderful response in a scene and it worked really well for me in this one as it was both proceeded and followed by the more obviously erotic responses to the sensations offered and as well it clearly marked the boundary between the warm up part of the scene and the more intense parts that followed.  Between the giggles and the loud thumping of a brief return to thuddy toys when I used a new nameless toy there were a good deal of watchers clustered around the scene.  There was a new toy in used (new to me) which is a handle which holds a spiral of leather wrapped around one end like it might be a flogger if the leather was cut into strips but in this case it wasn’t cut so it was more like a flexible leather paddle.  Because of the trapped air in the spiral of thick and soft leather it makes the most delicious booming sound when it strikes.  The toy maker who was at the party show up to watch that part of the scene as like so many other the unique sound attracted attention throughout the house.  He and I talked later about making a larger custom version to my desires though the original is a wonderful toy I will use a lot in the future.  I haven’t often played with two women together and it was an interesting dynamic as the one I was leaning against was often holding hands with or touching head to the one I was spanking as they were clearly sharing the whole scene in some joint way with me.  One of the women expressed a particular liking for the Tom-cat I used on them at one point in the scene.  It is one of the stingier toys being a cross between a cat of 9 tails and a single tail.  As it throws like a whip it is one of the toys that I like to use and it was nice to find it appreciated.  By the end of the spanking/flogging/… they were both nice and floating and sweaty and smiling.  I love that “you can’t wipe the gin off” type of smile masochists get after some intense play.  They both ended up at my feet when I let them up off of the table and the aftercare progressed to a big 3-way bear hug and sometime spent in the den cooling down with them wrapped around my legs as I sat in a chair talking to my friends.  It was nice stroking their hair and feeling the warmth of connection an intense scene leaves in its immediate wake.  Latter still I got to spend some time with a someone who teaches a lot nationally on subjects like cutting and rope bondage and who was a last moment invite to the party as we had just met recently when at a workshop he was teaching he and I got into a conversation about electrical play combined with bondage.  It is nice to think that a new friendship was formed as we made plans to meet again soon and share techniques on electrical play.  I am clearly someone who needs the connection to the community in my life and it is great to be back to being more active in the community and throwing my own parties again.  On April 5h Club X has its next Saturday event and I will be doing the workshop on Short and Long Whips in Play.  I will follow that with an exploratorium station on the same subject and I look forward to the good feeling I get when giving back to the community by teaching and to the inevitable new things I will learn when I share, either through questions or people in the audience sharing their knowledge and experience in the give and take that is a workshop.  If you are near San Diego, stop by and say Hi. 

2/26/2008 1:05:14 AM

Happy Birthday to me!  I had a wonderful play party at my home last Saturday and many of my friends came to celebrate with me and a kinky time was had by all.  Two of my whip throwing friends showed off some of their skills in the large room, the suspension frame was all tied up (grins), and there was lots of play on the cross and the massage table in the master bedroom but the best thing was just spending time with friends that share this aspect of my life.  It was so much fun I have already sent out the invites for the next one. 

2/17/2008 11:43:31 AM

Well I have had a good week.  Not often I get two teaching opportunities in the same week and both of the ones this week were pretty special.  On Wednesday I presented the Electrosex workshop for San Diego’s Back-to-Basics workshop series.  There was an audience of 20 plus and I have rarely had a more varied and enthusiastic crowd.  After some lecture time on safety and a few interesting questions in the vein, I started with an explanation of the Violet Wand.  When I asked for volunteers I got a wonderfully expressive young female who giggled through the whole demonstration.  I am sure most of you with some dungeon experience have seen someone who is giggling though something new or intense before and it is a lot of fun to watch.  The audience particularly liked how she hopped around on the table when I was using the ball-chain whip between her legs.  She got a big round of applause for her efforts and as I mention below came back for more at the Club X Exploratorium on Saturday.  Next I discussed the play you can do with TENS/EMS units and as we only had 90 minutes for the workshop didn’t demo that (it is mostly for genital play anyway and this space didn’t allow nudity).  Then I talked about the use of stun guns in play.  People have a going in misconception about what a stun gun feels like when used in play.  It is not really as much of an edgy toy once you feel it but the sound of the spark never ceases to be a good mind fuck.  I had two demoees for this.  One who I think was a male top and he clearly was there just to feel it.  So I couldn’t resist letting him be the anticipation subject.  I got him bent over but I just moved the stun gun around his butt while talking to the audience, not yet triggering it.  While he shrugged off the sensation once I did trigger it, it was good for the audience to see that he couldn’t keep still while he as anticipating it (the mind is such a wonderful play space).  The second demoee was a male bottom who I had seen in the community a good deal.  He clearly was there to see if he could enjoy the sensation.  So after the first two shots (brief triggers for the experience) I played the stronger gun up and down his thighs and buttocks.  We were short for time but he was clearly enjoying the sensation.  Both demoees got a big round of applause and I got a lot of questions at the end.  All in all both a fun and rewarding experience.

On Saturday, I did the Electrosex Exploratorium station before the Club X party.  For those who might not be familiar with the term an Exploratorium is where there are several stations set up for different types of play and people can get a one on one experience with an experienced top.  The experience can be to feel the play, ask questions about it or even be coached in how to do the play.  I first ran into an Exploratorium at Black Rose on the east coast and when as Vice President of Club X I was part of the board that started up the current regular play party sequence, I introduced the idea as part of the party format, between the workshop in the afternoon and the party that night.  This Exploratorium was different than most in a couple of ways.  It got the usual good crowd of people who are new to Electrosex but I the giggling female from the workshop showed up with her poly-family in tow and wanted to try the tens units as her partner (who also tried them) was thinking about getting one.  So while we stated on the arm for the first experience as most do she was interested in the experience as it would feel in play and we had her connected up in the genital region for a full demonstration of the 3 units I typically use in play.  The giggles were back but more than that I think she was very interested the type of play at the end.  After that I was busy with the usual first introductions for several people and just as things like 15 minutes from wrapping up I got a flock (5?) of male and female bottoms that all wanted to feel the stun gun and ended up wanting to feel it all over the thighs, bottom, and genitals.  Now most people who come to the station want to feel the stun guns by the end on their bottom “just once”.  Most are surprised that it isn’t the horrible thing they had anticipated.  The unique thing about this experience was that almost all of them wanted to feel it all the way up to and including the genitals.  Clearly an example of some peer pressure combined with the fact that the first to try it clearly liked it got them all into it.  It was a shame that we were rushed for time as several of them obviously would have liked to had sometime to more fully enjoy this unusual toy.  I hope to see that group back again at the next Exploratorium. 

While I am the type who likes to give back to the community that supported me while I was learning, sometimes it is particularly fun to do so when you are getting to introduce enthusiastic people to new experiences or teach them how to do that with their partners. 



12/29/2007 9:32:53 PM
It was pointed out to me that when I made the changes discussed on the prior journal entry I must have failed to save the changes.  It now appears to be properly up to date. 
12/25/2007 10:43:26 AM

I have changed my profile in two particulars that I should have updated before re-opening this account which has been dormant for 2 years.  The first change regards my allergies to pets.  While I have no pets of my own, my last live-in slave had a cat and I started prescription allergy medications that reduced significantly my medical problems.  Pets are still not something I am entirely comfortable with but modern medicine has allowed me to more comfortably co-habitat with one.  I put this in my journal so to bring attention to the change to those for which it might be of interest. 


The second was something that was brought to my attention by someone who read my profile.  While I have had and continue to have problems with love ones who are addicted to things like drugs and alcohol, I have no problem with social drinking; I just don’t like the taste of alcohol.  I did not intend my issues in this area to seem to extend to responsible use of alcohol. 

 Age: 28
 London, United Kingdom