MistressNCharge

When a group of fun loving, like-minded, lifestyle skilled and just all around kinky people get together, the combination makes for a perfect weekend.  Starting Friday, Aug. 17 thru Sunday, Aug. 19, just such a weekend occurred. 

From the dungeon to the kitchen, scenes and screams were the norm from about 8 pm Friday until around 4 pm Sunday.  Bondage stations, fisting mats, riding and positioned fucking machines, slings, the bondage bed and bench as well as just plain old ?arm power? wielding canes, floggers and whips were all going hot and heavy.  I think just about every hole and inch of skin presented, had been used or abused in some capacity by somebody one way or another.

I spoke last journal entry about a new femsub who would be attending her first ever lifestyle play party not to mention first ever experience of any kind.  She was like a kid in a candy store.  I was so very pleased by her willingness to be nonjudgmental and open-minded. 

With her wide eyes and wet thighs, she went from scene to scene observing, listening and learning.  She asked many questions about what all was going on and why.  She did ask one question over and over, though.  ?Can I try that??  There were things she loved and things she tolerated just to experience. 

We talked later and went over in detail how she felt and what she thought after the rush of endorphins, emotion and sensory overload had subsided.  It took her awhile to formulate what she had going on inside but she did articulate well concerning the scene when three Doms were using her simultaneously??That was HOT?   

Since then, time has passed and she has had a chance to think about all she saw and experienced and figure out her feelings and sort out things.  I am happy to report that the community has gained a very good submissive into the lifestyle.  She will be a welcomed friend and guest to all who have the pleasure of meeting her or playing with her.  She is already begging, and very prettily, I might add to return for another play party as soon as possible.  She has even managed to bring her husband into the fold and they have had some very steamy sessions out in the barn.  Humm, a Dom in the making?  Seems his libido has gone into over drive since her return home.  I have heard the term ?rabbits? thrown about when talking about doing the nasty.

So many newbie?s, both Top and bottom have bad first time experiences on their first outing.  This is due in part to the rampant use of the internet as a hunting ground for the inexperienced professing great skills and knowledge, both Top and bottom.  I am still a fervent believer in the mentor and networking system. 

No matter if you are a sub or Dominant, if you see a newbie advertising, take the time to write to them and offer an ear for them to talk to, others to contact and meeting places so that they can begin on the right path.  Too many take the time to bitch and moan about the lack of good Dominants or bottoms.  However, do they step out of themselves and offer a bit of their time to help protect and or educate the newbie, to send them to somebody that might be of help in the beginning or to show them sites that have good sound advice? It is up to us, the ones that have the experience to help a newbie grow.  In addition, it is up to us to help them grow safely.  This is our community and we have a responsibility to give freely to others that which was given freely to us. 

I wish each of you the best this lifestyle offers and many wonderful scenes and memories.

Things have been going well here at the Home Dungeon.  Two weekends ago, a few people came over for some fun and games.  All seemed to enjoy and a few carried memories home with them to view over the next couple of days.  I do enjoy hosting play parties. 

This weekend I am having another get together and introducing a new femsub to this lifestyle.  I have talked with her and we have had intense exchanges on her expectations and mine.  Her eagerness and need is almost palpable.  She is coming from a pure vanilla world and wishing to explore this lifestyle and to stretch her imagination and limits.

Her being new to all this brings me to a very important part of this lifestyle and those just entering into it.  Everybody has his or her own personal way of living BDSM.  My particular outlook is that play is play and has nothing to do with dating or the heartstrings.  I see too many that try to ?fall in love? and expect to go steady with a Top and do not play or experience anybody else.  They cling to the first one that showed them a taste of what this is all about and cut themselves off from the rest of the people in the community.  Even when told that it will only be a casual relationship and monogamy is not going to be a factor, they get upset when the Top plays with others. 

The stress and worry over who the Top is with and what ?they? are doing eats them alive.  They tend to take it as a personal affront and feel that for some reason they are not good enough.  I feel badly for them. They are not able to just relax and know that ?play is just play? and has no reflection on them personally.  They are not being ?cheated? on or taken advantage of because they have the same right and ability to seek out others to play with.  This is probably one of the hardest parts of this lifestyle for them to wrap their mind around.  After all, even in the vanilla world, most do not up and marry the first person they go out on a date with.

Before anybody says anything, this also stands true when the roles reverse. I cannot count how many times I have seen a Top wig out if a sub plays with others.  It seems like once played always owned until further notice.  We humans are a funny lot.

Greetings fellow kinksters?I am back to being myself at long last.  There is a play party tonight and my swinging arm is itching.  I plan to scratch that itch on the ass of a very deserving sub.  I have been going crazy having to behave myself and heal.  It sure is easier to give orders than have to take them.

Then of course, next weekend is the Dallas 4^th Friday munch and that means getting to see everybody once again.  I sure missed getting to do that last month after my accident. 

Hello to everybody!  It has been a while since I answered any of my email.  I do apologize for that.  However, it was not due to my ignoring any of it.  I was in a car wreck on the 26^th of last month and I am just now able to catch up on my correspondence.  For my friends that were aware of this I thank you for your warm wishes and kind thoughts.  But, there is good news to all this.  I will be back at 100% in no time.  So look out world?here I come.

Every now and then, we luck out and have an extraordinary moment in this lifestyle.  This past weekend was one for me.  I love to scene and have a good time as a person as well as a Domina.  By this I mean, you can only be in scene for so long and then you just have to able to sit down and talk and relate to each other.   This does not mean that our status in this lifestyle or roles are dropped, but rather that we are just out of scene.  I am always the Dominant.

The boy that knelt at my feet was all man.  He was witty, articulate, mentally stimulating and didn?t hurt the eyes.  When in scene he was positively alive and thriving under harsh corporal, extreme CBT and heavy bondage. For nearly two hours, he was in total sensory deprivation.   ?The only sound he could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears and the thud of his heart slamming loudly as it raced?.  These were his words, not mine.  

This brings me to my point.  I need the response from my submissives.  I have seen other Tops that demand absolute quiet and stillness from their subs.  That may be okay for them but it is a turn off for me.  I revel in hearing the sub cry, gasp, moan and groan.  I want to hear my name called and every now and then??OH Fuck!? as I administer a very well aimed toy to a very needy part of the body.

I want to see the submissive squirm, recoil and return for more, the butt jiggle from impact, the hips move in rhythm to my whip, flogger or paddle.  I do not want a silent, stoic never react just take whatever I dish out sub serving me.  I might as well go out into my yard and beat the tree.  I want life in my submissive when we are in scene.  I want a sub that has self-knowledge and an opinion with a sense of self worth when we are talking out of scene.  I want a quick wit and common sense along with the heart of a lion or lioness and the fire of a slave burning in the belly.

When this all comes together?life is good.

It seems so strange to me that so many boys and fems plead for use with limits that they say match mine only to balk and/or refuse pain, anal, sharing with others, etc..., those things clearly listed as requirements in service to me.  It makes me wonder if my profile is in their mind somehow "negotiable" or that if they contact me I would settle for less than what I am seeking.  Why would I do that? 
What seems to escape them is the fact that the greatest number of subs in this lifestyle are boy toys, next fem subs and the least number of Tops is the Dominatrix.  The fact is I have the pick of the litter, so to speak.  
The first thing that eliminates them from being considered is the lack of a picture sent with there email.  It shows right from the start that they cannot or will not follow directions.  From there it is all down hill.
I do try to reply to all my email because it is just good manners.  Good manners and respect go both directions.  I have spoken with some wonderful subs here, both fem and male.  Some are accepted and we do meet and enjoy playing nicely together.  Some do not work out because there is no chemistry there due to one or both of us.  That is the experience of the journey...not just finding what you do want in this life but also what you do not want.  Both are very important to a healthy relationship, whether it be sporadic play sessions or trying to build something more committal. 
Anyway...nuff said.  I will step off my soapbox.  I added a couple of pics and one that is of a toy bought at the pet store.  It is delightfully evil and works well with fems or boys.
I wish all a great day and hope each of us finds what we need and seek.

I do enjoy having a sub do household chores.  Watching them flit about, looking over their shoulders to see if I see them is better than sliced bread.  However, when it comes to my dungeon that is something I prefer to do alone.  I enjoy letting my mind wander and remember past scenes and plan new ones.  It is a time and space that I have totally to myself.  I have been adding some new toys and equipment. I put up some new pics. 

This weekend I went to the 4th Friday munch in Dallas and had a wonderful time.  It is always great to see old friends and make new ones.  The weather was perfect for sitting out on the patio swapping ideas and war stories. 

If you are in the Dallas area, you really should make plans to attend.  It is not a munch for just one group.  It is a gathering for anybody interested in this lifestyle. 

I highly recommend that you attend one in your area.  Whether you are already active, lifestyle curious or now living in or just visiting a new city, it is a safe way to see and be seen in a relaxed no pressure atmosphere.