MistressMarielle

This will be an interesting three weeks.  My alpha slave is here from Austin.  He will be submitting  to both a scrotal piercing and My ownership proclamation on his lower back.  “ slave to Mistress Marielle”
My beta slave has been feverishly working on "The Arch" and I have hopes that he will be able to finish it before the alpha leaves, so that we may "christen" it.  He will be receiving a second piercing which will be located on the underneath side of his glans.  Deliciously painful, I understand, and very pretty. The beta’s first piercing was scrotal, just below the base of his shaft.  I connected a stainless “tag” to dangle from it with an identifying message indicating that he is My property and listing My telephone number in the event that he is “lost.”                                      

At this point, My “house” is  quite harmonious.  I continue to be open for another boy as My current slaves are not with Me daily.  Flexibility is helpful, but working out schedules are clearly possible as well.  The boy must be able to work as a team. And while competition is somewhat a part of the male animal’s make up, I prefer the competition not cause ANY disharmony, but maybe inspire more self-improvement.  As My boys have been with Me for a number of years, they have earned My approval for intimacy. This came from a demonstration of consistent loyalty and a clear interest in My well-being, no matter what it took.  If applicants demonstrate a high degree of impulsivity and impatience, I will not hear their supplications.  I am for quality rather than quantity.

I don’t wish to discourage poor candidates, but rather wish to encourage boys who are appropriate to My desires. 

I wish all fulfillment, satisfaction and good service to those whom you consider most worthy.

I am, as always,

Mistress Marielle

More conversational writings:

I am not sure about other countries, but I find that in America, much does get quite blurred .  You mention dominant females you have read about on this site.   Conversely, I have communicated with males who want quite a bit themselves.  I am not inclined to make a list of the “wants” of the hundreds of boys who have contacted me over the years as I find it quite flabbergasting.

I understand that, at times, my thoughts move faster than my ability to type and I may believe I have written a fuller explanation of thought than actually occurred.  If you need any clarification, I charge you to ask.  Relationships do take quite a bit of work.

Though I prefer the control in all my future relationships, I am sensible enough to realize that I don’t know everything , and seek counsel when I feel it would help my decision-making processes.  I have to say, however, that when I ask for counsel or when a slave wishes to offer counsel it must be done in such a manner that expresses the control/submissive roles.  I tend to pick up on tones, attitudes and postures in conversation, due to my occupation and my life interests in general.  Any indication of disrespect, impatience, or condescension is simply not tolerated.  Passive aggression is spotted quite easily as well and will result in firm discipline or exile; such a thing is not a positive quality in a slave.  It is, actually a power struggle, which is not something I desire in my life.

While it may not be apparent in this missive, I do have a sense of humor and particularly in my work environment do all that I can , when appropriate, to bring laughter into the work place.  It is a bit of a difficult period for me, at present, so finding humor day to day has been a bit of a struggle.  I found it necessary to put on a comedy dvd a couple of days ago, just so that I could remember that I could laugh. It was the silliest of movies… … ah yes, “Clue”.  I absolutely love Madelyn Kahn and Tim Curry, so I sat and chuckled away.  It felt good.

My “take” on safe words.

Because I take much time in knowing those with whom I interact, I find that I have no need of safe words.  Being in the nursing field as well, I am aware of physiology, psychology and the many signs and symptoms that go along with various types of distress.  I make it a point to learn an individual’s expressions, desires and capacities.  I spend time inquiring into histories,  revelations of physical and emotional distress/joys, before moving into the more corporal aspects of this lifestyle.  I may “hurt” but I never wish to “harm.”

I am not adverse to direct questions for the purpose of acquaintance or clarification.  I will be quite direct in communicating should I feel you are behaving in a tiresome manner.

Do enjoy your day,

Mistress Marielle

I  seek slaves.  I am a responsible and sensible slave owner of two males. One is married to me and the other is in a vanilla marriage and visits. Both have their purposes in My life and I care for them and am committed to their growth and well-being.  Still, I have “room” for another.

I am,

Mistress Marielle

Goodness. . . again it has been months since I have written anything. Work, elderly mother, and My Alpha slave visiting every other month has kept Me away from My thought expressions.

 I have enjoyed the Alpha (gem) visiting, but the dominant in Me really wants to bind him and keep him here before he boards the train to return to Texas. It is not one thing that he does for Me that gives Me this compulsion, but all that he is.  Don't get Me wrong. He is not perfect, by any means.  I have always considered perfection to be grossly over-rated. So his imperfections and complications give Me the challenge I desire to strengthen and grow in wisdom and appropriately dominant behavior.

 I have to admit that his "servicing" Me continues to improve, both in technique and timing.  He has earned his place to sleep between My thighs, his lips touching My flesh. 

 Of course, now that he has returned to Texas for the month I suppose I will move through a period of... irritability.  For you see, with women, I have noticed, the more sexuality we experience, the more we want (if it is good sex) and with males ( particularly over 50 ) the more they ejaculate, the less they desire it or the less intense it becomes.  I do so enjoy orgasms while bringing My boy to erection and forbidding him to ejaculate.  The energy is most delicious.

That's the end of My musings for the time being.  Be well all!

I am,

Mistress Marielle

Experienced slaves are expected to understand the basics.   When one is invited to an interview, not unlike a job interview, one is expected to be on time.  Within the last week I have experienced two boys, who were invited to My home for such an interview.  Both were allowed to choose the time that they would be here, both were late, and as it is a rule of Mine, both were turned away from My door (in a manner of speaking).  To their credit, both indicated remorse and obeyed. 

Now, I have been around awhile and know quite a bit about human behavior.  It seems to be a human trait to boundary test.  It is also a less typical human behavior to sabotage what has the potential to be a good thing.  I have to ask Myself which might this be?  It is not the easiest thing to get two working people together.  That, alone, takes planning and patience.  When one takes a trip to an unknown place, does one not look at maps, obtain a GPS, or mapquest??  I know that I do.  When I have gone to an important interview, I have been known to, a day or two prior, find My way there to judge the best route, time it takes and then the day of, allowing extra time for traffic and some for the unforeseen.

What I have to think is that THIS interview was not such an important one to either boys.  It is also considered gross disrespect to be late to a meeting with a dominant Female. 

I am a reasonable woman and gracious.  Understanding human nature as I do, I allow for imperfections.  I will have to say, however, that a second time of being late is a confirmation of blatant disrespect (barring provable car accident, loss of a limb....etc.) and will end the potential meeting for 6 months.  Each of these boys have asked for another chance and they will be informed of "the rules."

Each of these particular boys have qualities that I find appealing and useful.  They would not have gotten this far had they not.  I have to admit that I felt disappointed and irked at the necessity of turning them away.  All agree that there was nothing else that I could do.  We shall see if these boys can arrange a time that they can make, in the future.

Ah me... I am not sure what is going on in the world or atmosphere or cosmos, but what began as a slightly depressing day ended up being peacefully delightful.  It is important that one's attitude always remain open to what is "out there" to be received at ANY time.  Little surprises and affirmations can click into our cores when we least expect it.

 Three, yes count 'em, three such acknowledgements came to me to day from people with whom I have never communicated.  After days and weeks of people wanting to take and take from me, today I received a touch on the shoulder, a kiss on the cheek and a deep eye to eye smile....all in writing. All these were from people taking the time to give something of themselves to me. Appreciation.  My hope is restored.

Feel MY embraces to you all. Thank you for taking the moment to share your appreciation with My writings, My photos, and My philosophy. Your words warmed me.

 Blessings,

 Mistress Marielle

Just had a week with My alpha slave.  My goodness that is not enough.  He plans to come to Me again mid-October when we will take a trip together. 

It is very lovely to have a trusted and obedient slave living with Me. The energy is intense and I find Myself expanding moment to moment and looking at him more as slave than anything else. Yes, I do love him, for we have been courting for 8 years...and even at a distance it is difficult not to become quite attached to a boy who wishes little else than to please Me. 

We both talked about increasing the number of boys in the household. I am well with that, but the other or others must be able to fit in harmoniously with all those who come to Me to serve in their various ways.

My response to a supplicant:

submissive,

Giving up total control would mean that you would have NO limits.  Isn't that true?? Total MEANS total.  Though one would not wish to perform destructively, either to self or others, the point is to TRUST one's owner enough to surrender all boundaries to Her control.  Make sense?  When one surrenders it must be complete or what is the surrender worth to the Controller?  Of course I understand that "total" surrender is a process and that one must be smart and cautious.  Nevertheless, to say that one wishes something that is not currently the truth is deceptive. I will suggest that you change your approach to: "I wish one day to surrender total control to a dominant Female." you may also indicate that " (you)I long to serve without reserve to a Woman of good character whose darker side is adventurous, yet reasonable." Could that be closer to what you desire?  you indicate yourself merely submissive. Yes, doubtless you can behave in a submissive manner, but with conditions and personal desires that are potentially outside one's Owner's desires will eventually create struggle and conflict. This is not something that a very dominant Woman would prefer to take on. 

I indicate the desire to draw "slaves" to Myself. Slaves are strong and courageous.  They commit and obey without reserve. Slaves imprint upon themselves their Owner's desires and goals in life and see the goodness in them.  Slaves have a desire for self-sacrifice and love without reserve as well.  They also share in all things. I have two boys who, now, think of themselves as brothers in MY family. They both joy when the other serves Me in any way. Whether domestically, in home repair, gardening as a lover, they take My release of energy into themselves and receive pleasure and vicarious fulfillment from that which their Owner senses and enjoys.  THAT is why I desire slaves.

I appreciate your revelation to Me, sub. I have a question for you:  Will you always choose to define yourself as submissive or is your ambition to be slave?

I am,

Mistress Marielle

I will give you slaves a hint.  Call yourselves slaves ONLY if you have the capability to trust fully.  If you are suspicious by nature because you have been damaged and have not healed properly. Heal first.  A slave will not defend himself against his domina, so be prepared for that level of obedience and humility.  A slave is required to learn his domina in order to serve Her properly.  A  male slave is expected to be willing to serve sexually but be patient and put his needs aside for his domina's desires and timing.  A slave who must speak the words " I am no doormat" is NOT a worthy slave and has a history of damage that must be taken care of.  To assume, ahead of time, that he will be treated with disrespect is disrespectful to those dominants who may otherwise find him interesting and valuable.  A slave must always be ready to be part of a household and accept his place among the Owner's designated hierarchy.  I cannot think of a single male who is capable of fulfilling ALL of a powerful Woman's needs and desires.  We tend to be rather insatiable and it is much too stressful to expect one boy to fulfill all for Us.  To believe otherwise is to be an unacceptable slave.  In saying that I speak for Myself and some others with whom I am acquainted.  There are those who wish monogamy and a more vanilla-like existence. 

Well then...all swine move away from these pearls and all hopeful slaves take My words to heart.

I am,

Mistress Marielle

A SECRET LIFE

There are many of us who live two lives. One is external and necessary, keeping life and limb going with food shelter and enjoyable relationship. We rise and work, some have families, some of us do not. We can enjoy the variety and contrast between this life and our "secret" life. 

Within our beings there hums, just beneath the surface, a longing for another expression. A longing to touch, to slap or be slapped, to kneel or stand above, to taste or be tasted, to breathe in scents, to be physically restricted or physically free and more. . .and so much more.  We, with our longings, fly outside our society's norms.

Those of Us who manage our lives well must create a sophisticated balance between these expressions of self.  Our friendships are maintained in each of our personas, both inside and outside the "norm". All friendships, and deeper connections, are equally as committed and important to the who that we evolve to become. If we create singular relationships, eschewing gatherings of the like-minded, there is always a risk. Life being risky and oft fragile, tragedy can occur.  With this secret life there is no other to give a quick call or drop a line with news of the friend.  Being secret there are necessarily extended times of silence within that relationship, or even an understanding that, as good as it was, it is time to travel down separate paths for a time. Occasionally one desires to hail and blow a kiss for sweet memory’s sake. So, one reaches out.

I had such a friend. We shared our secrets, pleasured and comforted one another soul to soul. Of course I cannot provide any information about him, to you, but he was and admirable and giving soul who died in May doing that which he loved to do.  I embrace his spirit and allow My portion of him to fly wide and free keeping the memory of our times together in My heart. 

To all My readers who share such and experiences, I join with you to grieve, to remember and to joy in the memories of those who have made a difference in our lives

Live well and genuinely,

Mistress Marielle

Hello all,

I know that many of you wish to be a single male with an only Female.  That would all be well and good if males can, singly, satisfy a dominant Female.  I tend to find that males who serve would actually prefer to have "brothers" to share the many demanding desires and wishes of a domina.

As I have written in My profile and journal entries, I am interested only in slaves.  I am capable of reason and balance in My rule and plan to, as I work into My future, enjoy a communal existence with a small handful of male slaves. With today's economy, job market, and ever dwindling retirement benefits and social security benefits, it is the wisest course to bond together, to share, and to work toward a more comfortable life together.

Those who have subscribed to My journal writings, do respond to this and let Me know if you are in agreement or if you have other solutions to those of us in the lifestyle.

Lovely day to all,

Mistress Marielle

Another week spent with My Alpha slave. Ever drawing him into Me. Rituals performed, touch and pleasure affirmed.  he is Mine.  Soon he will be in My presence permanently. he is one of a select few who will serve and work to create a life that We who live this way will draw joy from. he knows, as do I, it will benefit life for him to have brothers who will join us.  Having My own dungeon and implements demonstrates My preparedness. My curriculum is shaping up and training plan is truly inspired. I rule with the force of love.

Yes, yes, I realize that it has been ages since I have added to My journal.  Distractions of a routine daily life have cluttered My mind and taken My time.  Despite all this I have not stopped thinking on My goal of establishing a poly family.

I have taken My first real step by choosing and joining with My Alpha slave, gem.  He has proven himself over 7 years and is in tune with Me in all essential ways.  In addition, have a local visiting slave who bears My mark and is committed to serve Me.  Both assist in My efforts and desires to achieve My goal’s fruition.

I will be working on a curriculum for slave education.  Private lessons will be available for a reasonable sum. This program will graduate males who are worthy of a more discriminating Femme Domme. Not only will there be skills taught, but the philosophy of consentual slavery will flow through all lessons.  Doing only, without a slave’s attitude, is considered cheap and superficial to the more demanding Female. We prefer the energy of power when our slaves are wholly surrendered to Our wills and desires.

One does not have to be beautiful to take classes.  In fact, youth and beauty can be a bit of a hindrance and often something to be overcome relative to a more pure attitude of service.  Though a slave must maintain a higher degree of self-respect and personal strength, it is in his choice to surrender completely to service that makes him a treasure to be sought after.  The emanation of “yes!", with courage, is what feeds We Dommes the power We consume.  It is that same demonstration of courage that touches our hearts and allows for grace and mercy. The more Our slaves are willing to give, unconditionally, the more we seek to use them.  Using a slave, fully, allows for his deep fulfillment and insures life adventures that are exciting to All.

I will keep you all posted as this develops.

I am,

Mistress Marielle

It is lovely. I am finally taking solid steps in establishing My leather family. The ring that is depicted in My profile photos has been given to gem. He will be joined to Me, legally, in a few weeks and will relocate permanently in a few months time. In the meantime he will fly to Me and I to him from time to time as he prepares for his retirement.

There is another who bears My mark who is a family member who will not be living with Me permanently.

Patience, trustworthiness and all that I have chosen to become brought those jewels to My feet and I will use them with relish and protect their interests with My life.

Rejoice with Me all My friends,

Mistress Marielle

Working has been taking quite a bit of my time and energy lately.  Though I have many thoughts on how to use a slave which are, to my view, adventurous, I do not wish to waste my time on a non-mutual or imbalanced "session" situation.   I seek to build only long term relationships. What I ultimately seek is a boy who is worthy of my time. He will be a live in manservant who will obey and trust me completely.  This boy will care for me after my working hours, dress in the manner that I prescribe and educate himself, daily, on how best to serve.  He will accept it if I bring visiting boys in, for whatever reason I choose.  He will assist with whatever process that my desires call for at any given time. He will submit to any activity I arrange. He will, above all, work to become the epitome of an Other-centered being. This slave shall imprint upon me and my desires will become his desires.  He, at all times, will seek to reflect only honor on my household.

He will be a rare jewel.

Mistress Marielle

I was recently provided with a testamonial that one of my visiting boys wrote about me. It brought me such delight that I thought to share it with you, dear readers.

My need for discipline was not associated with BDSM. I had issues going back years and craved attonement for past deeds, a cure for current habits, and relief from personality shortcomings.

My first experience with a "professional" disciplinarian was a disaster. She was unkempt, her house smelled of cats, and the session addressed more her desire to inflict pain than to deal with my issues.

The second experience was from a true professional, and I paid dearly... from the wallet! Although she did make a good attempt to set and attain certain goals, hers was a very active and busy schedule, leaving me wanting for a more personal and understanding touch.

Then I met Mistress M. She took a personal interest, spending almost our entire first session just talking, gathering information and discussing possible treatments. A couple of weeks later we met again and I began traveling a straight-and-narrow road to recovery from the many issues that plagued me.

Although expense was not a consideration in my case, Mistress' gain from the experience was not truly monetary; rather, it allowed her to pamper herself by my providing a comfortable venue for our encounter. She would spend the night before luxuriating in the spa, which I paid for, and the next day I would join her for about an hour or hour-and-a-half of disciplinary therapy prior to her late checkout.

There were no 'safe words.' Mistress' intuition monitored my limitations, endurance and progress. I experienced pain at a level I had never thought possible, but the results of her skillful use of equipment and technique brought eventual relief, freedom and a true sense of joy in becoming a stronger and better person.

If you are only looking for a good a spanking, there are endless opportunities. But if you desire to get to the root of WHY you want one, then give it sufficient thought and find the right partner. It will be far more rewarding and you will reach a level of inner peace that many only dream of.

I am here and about in a small mountain community called Estes Park in Colorado where I attended the final level of a workshop. This time, however, I brought My Texas slave with Me. he has been serving Me on My breaks and I chose for us to stay a couple extra days as I miss the mountains and this community brings back some wonderful environmental memories of My years in the San Bernardino Mountains. Whereas in Big Bear there were an abundance of squirrels and coyotes, here, in the Rocki)es it seems that their protected Big Horned Sheep and Elk roam about quite freely. The speed limit on any of the highways does not exceed about 40 m.p.h., which is a challenge for a California girl like Myself.

I brought a minimum of "toys" on the trip, but have made use of them repeatedly. I must shop for more things that are travel friendly.(those things that don't weigh the bags down) i.e. a couple of bits of rope as opposed to heavy leather restraints. A crop that fits in the suitcase is quite adequate when used with a variety of swings. Even a bit of rope folded back on itself a couple of times makes an effective flogger.

I was rather impressed with the boy's ability and willingness to take My largest phallus. his energy release, in various intimate situations is very tasty. his accomodation related to My pleasure is, of course, very positive and determined. Taking this boy to various "places" and experiences is a delightful challenge.

We will be flying in different directions tomorrow afternoon and will not meet again until the Autumn, where I will go to Austin to see him and a community play that he will be directing. (I think that I will mail some "items" ahead to My destination this time.)

His photo is in my gallery,

Mistress Marielle

My goodness, the last entry was in January. I guess working with patients and communicating as my occupation is making me less inclined to continue writing thoughts down here. I did think that changing my schedule to a day shift from a swing shift would have been a good idea, but rising at 0430 and working until 1530 leaves me with little energy afterward to enjoy much else.  There have been some who have caught me right after work and coaxed me to interact with them until later in the evening. I must not be given the opportunity to slow down first or the lure of my lovely big bed is too great to resist.

I continue to be moderately active in ma petite cachot. I don't seem to have the schedule to make it to any particular public play spaces. Perhaps one day I shall again. The boys that have been caring for my desires, after their own fashion, continue to be my friends. It warms and surprises me. They would all do much more than I allow them to, which is as it should be.

Many don't seem to find good matches on collarme.com, but I must say the boys that I have found here and kept are very nice. I demand respect, because I am respectable. I do not tolerate rudeness, equality, selfishness or impatience from anyone who wishes to supplicate as slave or simply get to know me. I have sown much to the positive in my lifetime, I understand when people "miss the mark" and I am quick to forgive sincere repentance. I believe that corporal pain, administered with a kind and caring hand will bring release and the elation of forgiveness to those who are truly sorry for their mistakes. Reconciliation with one's life and true direction after penance is the great gift of freedom and lightness of being.

It seems that I had some thoughts to speak after all. Not so many will appreciate them, but it was good to put them out into the air just the same.

Blessings to all,

Mistress Marielle

Below is a missive written to a supplicant. Those with insight will appreciate how I was approached. The name has been changed to protect the ignorant:

 One must be careful, boy, how one speaks to a dominant of my age. Some of us prefer a more formal approach from one who chooses to call himself slave. I have noted that there are many males who like to use this noble title, but do, indeed, have no idea of a slave's attitude or activity. I do not accuse you of this, for I know little of you.

 If one presents as desireous to serve a particular Female, it is important to do so with great humility and a certain level of formality. I did not notice this of you. I felt a particular "equality" in your speech to me that I do not view, at all, as slavish.

 It is also a presumption of a slave to proclaim that he would be chosen to perform such an intimate act as a full body massage.  It is one thing to allow a slave access to the essential, yet lowly, body part as her feet for massage or oral pleasuring, but to list the idea of a slave's hands roaming over the body of a dominent as a part of a list which includes cooking is not to be tolerated. You do not know your place, if you believe yourself to be slave, boy.

 I respect the definition of slave too much to allow frivolity. A slave is precious to me. A slave is to be highly respected for his decision to serve with great self-sacrifice and other-centeredness. Slavery is a condition of the heart, not a role to be played on a stage and when the curtain goes down he changes into something else altogether.

 Consider your choices carefully, boy. IF you are slave...work harder at becoming so.  I wish you well in whatever path you choose.

Mistress Marielle

I have been thinking of two het boys, willing and obedient coming together to pleasure one another sexually simply because it is my command that they do so. Two male objects, under my direction serving the other's pleasure for my own personal entertainment. To some boys this would be exciting and very naughty while to others it would be abhorrant. Excitement without permission is punished, hesitation to a command, in the face of a distasteful, but safe, prospect is also punished. Obedience is rewarded by my sensuality and pleasure.

Well....my long history of "thinking of" became a reality very recently. The event, to me, was powerful and very pleasureable. Both boys are friends and have served me in many other ways. The common denominator, however, was the trust of long friendships and the desire that they shared in wishing a new pleasure for me. It was a great gift that I will remember them for. I will not post the photographs...they are for my remembrance only.

Blessings to all,

Mistress Marielle

The beginning of the new year and I have gained yet another new decade. I will have slipped into the numbers where the twenty and thirty year olds will stop their queries and forty and fifty year olds will give a mere second thought. I am, believe me, shocked by the number of years that I have acquired, for with the exception of one or two aches and a moderate amount of wrinkles I really don't feel much older than about forty or so. That, of course, was the time when I began to discover the lifestyle of BDSM. Delicious and exciting.

 I continue to look for a suitable live - in slave. Naturally, with my number of years, I am unfortunately, or fortunately very particular. I desire a male who is complex and complete and who really aches to live an other-centered life. Whether I find him or them....or not, I will remain open to my deep desires. I am as passionate about some things more now than I have ever been.

 May your lives be filled with heat and passion until you draw your last breath! It is My life's goal to live this way until my end. (which I trust will be many more years yet)

 Blessings to all,

 Mistress Marielle

Work has kept me quite busy and away from communicating with many good friends and subscribers here. Still, one must be sensible and govern the expenditure of one's energies, mental and physical.

I am a bit more rested as I have a familiar slave staying with me for a few days. Though I still move about the house doing some chores myself, the idea that I do not have to do any of them, myself, seems to bring comfort and peace. The boy is being assigned those projects which " I have been meaning to get to" for sometime and had to put forth the energy to overlook for some time. I find that these projects, left undone, are a great drain on me. I have always been sensitive to my environment.

It is truly a great thing to take a moment, here and there, to torment and tantalize this boy's flesh at my will, feeling his sexual energy transmit out and into me. So sweet, so passionate.

Today he will clean. at 0930 and again at 1300 he will go to my bed, upon which he has spread a large piece of leather, nap for 20 minutes and upon the playing of his alarm will take 5 minutes to softly hump upon it while speaking my name with words of admiration and appreciation.

Mistress Marielle

For those of you who follow my life goings on and know that I am keeping an eye on my aging mother, I will let you know that Mom is back in hospital, this time with a diagnosis of right-sided congestive heart failure. This means that her pump (heart) is not pushing the blood out the way that it is suppose to. I don't, yet, know what type of mechanical failure it is, but what I do know is that it is causing fluid to back up into her lungs. This is not good. She is being given a strong diuretic to draw the fluid from her body.

I am wearing a bit thin, presently, and will either write or hide, whichever is the process that gets me through whatever will occur next.  For all of you who have given me moral support in the past I thank you and hope that you will send strong thoughts/feelings my way as I attend my own sweet Mom.

I will post again in a couple of days.

Merci beaucoup,

Mistress Marielle

Back from Klamath Falls, OR. I was hoping to have a bit more cool traveling farther north, but that was not the case. I was able to see Crater Lake. That was a fine day and not so hot there as back in the city.

I am back to work tomorrow and working a bit more with my mother as this trip seems to have taken a bit more out of her as well as allowing me to assess her vision a bit better. I believe that she has finally decided to give up driving and now I need to return on Monday and take her to Dr appts plus show her how to take the local door to door transit system.

Does this leave me much time for my "recreational" activities...not really. There is no slave who seeks to be a part of this labor of love which I will perform for my mother. I will remember this.

My poor dungeon will be empty for some time to come, I am sure. I trust that all of you who live for self will reap the 'benefits' of your choices!  Blessings to all,

Mistress Marielle

Are there many here who seek to build? Or is this a place where one looks through profiles like one looks at the newspaper for a film to go to on times off work? I look into people. I am not one who has ever in my life been superficial.

Yes, I can truly appreciate a beautiful corporal image. I have agreed to several beautiful boys to visit with me because they are beautiful. I move them about and display them. I rake their backs and smooth chests with my sharpened fingernails. Make my mark, if only for a few moments in their lives. My palms and fingers heat and tingle as I close my eyes and feel their texture, I breathe them in and catch their scent, my tongue licks once to taste their skin. I can appreciate their beauty like no other female because I was married to an artist and musician for 30 years and trained myself to find it..visually and sonically. I view and listen from deep within myself. Each swell and curve, muscle over bone, lips and teeth grab my attention and I feed my spirit, I feed my emotion, I feed the primitive female deep within.

Though I speak, above in present tense, I have moved away from such samplings. It, like any other self-indulgent habit, has caused me to waste my time. I will seek those whose heart is into service of the deepest kind. Those whose fulfillment is in the investment of their time, efforts, and devotion for the promotion of Another's growth, strengthening and success. I may find him, or them, or I may not. I will, however, continue to be open and draw the most worthy creatures to heel and surrender.

3-4-09

Reminders

symbols not enough
his eyes and flesh desire
little else exists

motivation sleeps
senses and mind turn away
firm hand needs proxy

knotted whip hangs near
command brings attendance nigh
sting across shoulders

again and again
hearing cries and pride erased
'til slave is returned

right and reconciled
place brings other pleasuring
tongue on sweetened flesh

Marielle
5-24-8

This electronic medium allows for the connection of those whom one would not ordinarily meet in spirit and mind.  This can bring both positive and negative potential to one's life. Positive in that one can offer self to others and receive that which another would wish to give of mind and heart.  This can be very satisfying for those who enjoy reaching particular depths with one another in what many consider a "safe" and anonymous venue.   The negative comes in when, having made a deep spiritual and mental connection one hungers for more.  The logistics of life and proximity can be most tiresome and sometimes impossible to surmount for that more complete connection.  I would think that the airline industry should appreciate the advent of worldwide instantaneous and free communication as there have been many trips that would not have been taken if not for chat rooms of the various kinds.  There is also a bittersweet hunger that lives within an individual who wants proximity with a "spirit" that one connects with across the miles.  It is not altogether unpleasant a state to be in, but after a time the hunger becomes an ache and this can be distracting in various aspects of one's life.  Though humans, being what they are, find ways to adjust to this ache in many creative ways and I must commend all who, rather than giving up, adapt. 
Lovely day to all. MM

Transient isolation or Communalism
 
We each make our choices. Moment by moment we decide to think and act selfishly or selflessly. Shall I be self-serving today or will I serve others at a cost to myself? Will others perceive my selfless decisions as a kindness or a manipulation; does this matter to me?  If I work and work and work will I have the comforts and security in this life that money can provide and will I share with others that they may enjoy a little rest and time to think deep thoughts?  What can I accomplish alone? What can I accomplish with a team, tribe, family?  

With the isolationist view and self-centered attitude that has increased its momentum with the "if it feels good, do it" chant some decades ago, our society continues to disconnect.  We are brought together, occasionally, by sudden tragedy or ongoing world struggles.  After the paroxysm relaxes we return to our boxes with walls, not because it is the best way, but because it is what we have made.  Yes...I refer to "the box" that some are shouting to think outside of.  I say, move outside of the box or you shall be buried quietly in it. 

It is true that there are many sharp edges and biting beasts out there which one must make an effort to avoid, or when pierced or bitten one must nurse to healing. I speak psychically, of course, for in this lifestyle many enjoy that bite of a whip or piercing of a needle.  They would take that pain for many hours rather than feel the sting of disapproval, or the deep laceration of abandonment.  These fearful ones choose not to connect at all rather than face the possibility of psychic blood-letting. 

I am a female, it is true, but I have been pierced and slashed and felt the deep stab and renting of a very long term relationship ripped away from me.  I still live. I still intend to love without reserve.  I am no masochist.  I am a complete woman who knows what it is to live life in all of its joys and sorrows, its pleasures and pains, its dreams and times of hopelessness.   In my moving through life I look at everything, consider all and decide my direction. It is true that I weary of some pain and thus will not open myself to an obvious marauder; age and experience have to be useful in some way.

Still, I seek communalism.  Rather than building what I can alone, in this life, I choose to look for those with similar dreams and ambitions who seek a refuge to which they can return at the end of the day to joy in their own particular expressions of living and meet with those whose arms and hands are always open to help or offer affection.  I know that I am not alone in this desire, but I am one, certainly, who feels strongly and has proven herself capable of extending the life and effectiveness of a tribe by making the effort to do what is necessary for the overall harmony and growth of the members who CHOOSE to be with me.

I have met some lovely "visiting" people ( and some not so lovely - I speak psychically ) but am growing tired of this revolving door.

If my desires play within your soul, speak to me; if they do not then continue on your search for those many ships which will pass in your night until, when you are old, and you seek open ports to shelter you from life's tempests and refill your stores for your final journey, you find none.

-laughs softly-    

At last there is a male "slave" who admits that he is looking for a sugar mommy.  I hear so many males complain that females are looking to acquire their money. For some,  to be a "powerful" Domme means that one must be a corporate climber with properties and a six figure income.  Just as I think I have heard it all I am fascinatingly surprised by what males are capable of. 

I will also at this point clarify that I am a hard working woman.  In my marriage I had to struggle and sacrifice to attain the degree with which I now support myself.   I am honorable and seek wisdom and the development of good character; attributes that continue to vanish from our society and, indeed, in our global communities.  Though, had I known "then" what I know now, I would have asserted my hunger for academic excellence and established myself  as completely financially independent from my ex-spouse much sooner than I did.  (just barely in time for his departure) Alas, that was not what was agreed upon in the scheme of our relationship.  People do default on contracts in this society and honor, loyalty, and personal sacrifice have become merely fantasy tales from the 14th century. 

All can think what they wish of me.  Those with insight into what is most important in life will recognize me, all others will be invited to move happily and superficially on their way.

As much as my voyeuristic tendencies cry out to say that I select on appearance and expression alone, this is not so....not at all.

I look for that rare individual with insight, courage and character.? I state singularly because I begin to believe that I will be fortunate enough to find only one such male.? I am a pragmatist and fully realize that it is important to "match" one's partner/s in some very important ways.?

I want my male/s to be aware of their spiritual nature as a human being. Now I didn't say "religious" but spiritual.? There is an element in a human that allows her to transcend the earthliness and expand out and evolve into greatness that was only once imagined.? At the same time she can be most aware of her "earthiness" and become in touch with?hereditary elements?that influence from the ancients, the primitives.? I interview for such?signs or potentials in my submissive male/s.

I want my male/s to long deeply for an expression of their humble natures.? I do not see this lifestyle as a game at all, though I do very much enjoy playing with males.? I whip, clamp and torment?at various strengths, I tickle and I titillate the male senses to encourage responses?sonorous and deep.? I would reach into a male and pull out his imprisoned sensuality that he may feel more alive and thus allow the dynamic flow between us to express synergistically.

I would have one who is capable of such depth along with that ever male-threatening element of time commitment.? I need not try and explain this because males seem? to have their own perception of this and it is a waste of my breath to ameliorate the pain that males feel at the mention of this concept.? For males, commitment happens one day at a time and simply....becomes.

I am not She who writes..."What is it that you can do for me, slave?" "What can you give me. . .money, sex,?domesticity?"? I am?a dominant Female, granted I am a fifty-four year old?Female, but in that does my power and richness lie.? I seek a?male that has insight, character and courage enough to understand where such a Female can take?him.? Is this you??

(This journal entry was inspired by beauty and a sweet simple query from one who searches. It was my answer to him.)

13Jan2005

How delightful my new year celebration was.  Meeting people in the lifestyle was quite pleasant and promising.  I attended a party at a club in Los Angeles that caters to the BDSM lifestyle.  There were many bits of furniture with which to restrain or display lovely struggling bodies.  The energy was deliciously powerful and I will return again and again to watch as well as participate in this life expression.
I fly to Austria for a week, simply to go there with a friend, and I will joy in sights and sounds as I revel in the experiencing of Mozart's birthplace.  Auf viedersen!

12-26-04
I use to have journal entries here, but they seem to have been purged. I will try again to speak and post some day to day thoughts.
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Having been in a faithful marital relationship for 30 years I did not allow myself to know single males intimately. For the past year and a half since my husband left I have been going through a rather intense learning process.  This vanishing thing that males seem to be so capable of is beyond my ability to understand, though I am forced to accept it. I had always thought of males as more noble and courageous, but alas...I am coming of the opinion that most are naught but frightened or cowardly boys.  Despite intelligence and apparent maturity as well as adept communication skills, when a male wishes to leave he, often, will simply cease communication and ignore any attempt toward polite and fair resolution of an ending relationship. I, of course, try to contact twice and then wait 2 weeks before erasing him from my contact lists.  I find this male behavior rather abhorrant and cowardly.  If you are one who chooses this behavior, for whatever reason you may have, simply don't contact me at all. 

We all have ones who match us...I accept this, realizing that I am not right for everyone. If you are not a match for me I will kindly tell you this and wish you well and send you on your way. I expect this same courtesy.