MistressCrearwy

Another month is well underway. A few ask about coming to serve , or "Play sessions". Why is it when I say that sex is not guaranteed that everyone disappears?

The days pass and I still have yet to find any boy who is as serious as my kajirus victim32955. A few have spoken to me. One is in chastity and serves best they can due to their job. But really none who are as completely dedicated to me as this boy. I am happy to have found him and shocked I did so on this site. I am becoming Jaded and wondering if any real slaves are left here or are they all "weekend slaves" who only want to serve to get their jolly off and if that isn't going to happen they stand up the person they were supposed to go serve. If I wanted just kinky sex I am sure I could find it. I want dedication, devotion and the power exchange that comes from a good Relationship between a Mistress and her property.

Why oh why is it when I say come on a Saturday to do yard work first for serving that people always end up "busy" and cant come? I mean come on people being in a collar is not 100% sexual, if your truly wanting owned it is more than a sexual thing.

Heading out this Saturday for a day out with some new friends and one of my bonds. Hope the day is as fun as it seems it will be. Even if it is a vanilla setting.

How is it No one reads profiles anymore?

I am sick and tired of "boys" on here thinking and assuming I am going to "USE" them in a sexual Nature.

I DO NOT Need a BULL. Being a Mistress is more than Sex. IF I wanted sexual attention from a slave I have 2 boys already in my collar who would do ANYTHING I desire. And as of March 7th One of my Girls will be living with me FULL time. SO WHY In the HELL Do I need a Boy who is never around before this for a One time "play session " to Use for my sexual pleasure?

Well Yesterday I started talking to a bond of mine from the past and it seems she is coming home. Can't wait for March now.

Well 2012 has ended and thinking back on it could of been a hell of a lot better or worse so in that respect it was ok. So many boys would talk the talk but when it came down to it ran off or just disappeared. They were unable to follow through with what they said when they found out I am True to my words. If you ask me about being in collar and being a slave that is how you will be treated. In my world there are 2 types of people those in collar and those who are not in collar. I Have a man in my life who is not in collar, and some days I really question why I have him around while other days I love having him here. So with that said not looking for someone to take his place only looking for potentials to wear my collar and chastity device.

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Today is My new year :) What will come of the next year for me. Will I find the boys or girls or both that make my household complete. Will my bond return to me ? we will see. One thing I know I am thinking about maybe accepting applications from boys to be a keyholder.

Things are sitting at a plateau have had many new boys talking to me. I think Perhaps I scare them tho. I am who I am what I write and say is what I mean. I rarely pull punches and or beat around the bush. This straight forward What you see is what you get attitude I have found in the years to be best but lately it seems to be scaring the beejesus out of the potentials boys around here.

Why are you on CM with a profile labeled slave if you try and dominate and set the Rules of a relationship with a Mistress?

What in the name of all that is holy makes a slave believe they can demand a phone number from a Mistress or tell her she has to phone them to get their attention and them to want to come meet.

Trust me Boys I am VERY much a Woman. I am short and heavy .. So what Seems enough of you get your rocks off looking at my pictures all the time.

I have a small set of House rules I am setting up for the "visitors" If I am going to allow you to visit I will send them to you. If you can not or will not abide by them then by all means Block me , what ever but move on.

  Well my kajirus and my chastity slave are the only two who are local and come to see me regularly. My bond is up north for the time being in school. I found a picture of her ass after a short session with my riding crop and hand. Its now in the pictures. I think perhaps if I am up to it, this weekend My kajirus needs a new picture for his and my profile one showing how red his ass can really get.

   Now where have all these boys gone? So many were interested in me and when they found out I am not all about them getting their rocks off they left. Guess they were not truly submissive or slaves just "guys" trying to get some kinky sex.

   Be Warned I am not all about sex. Some days I may allow my slaves to pleasure me orally even let them masturbate till they orgasm, or torment them by not allowing them to orgasm. Others You may just be doing something to make me happy, be it housework , yard work. What ever makes me smile should make you smile and writhe in pleasure. Isn't it after all is said and done the job of the slave to make sure their Mistress is happy, and in doing so they get pleasure ?

Classes are going well. Where have all those boys who used to beg to serve me gone?

Today has been a productive day. 4 More days and my next class starts so I started working on my own personal creative endeavor of redesigning a Mirror. It was the type that sat on brackets at the back of a dresser. I have taken them off and am now working on woodburning some symbols into the frame that fill me with good stuff so to speak.

A good day too my kajirus got his ass beat and marked last night and finished some yard work today before  he left.

New picture of my kajirus taken tonight September 16 2012. He makes me proud with how much he works to take care of me. A Mistress could not ask for much better of a kajirus.

Hmm Doing some things to work on my own Inner Peace and I found a page that makes me just Giggly like a little kid at Christmas. Bastet and on another page Sekmet  The 2 of the 3 main Goddess' that make my heavens turn

http://www.goddessgift.net/page15.html

http://www.goddessgift.net/page57.html

Another day another dollar so the saying goes. I want all those dollars ! would make my life easier. 

I am becoming very cynical and I doubt the intent of much of anyone to truly show up. I know some are true to their word and loyal my boy victim32955 is one such. He is true to me and gives me all he can. He takes care of his Mistress the best way he knows how and has asked me to find another to train to take his place for when the day comes that he can no longer take care of me. 

A 2nd chance I gave a boy and he did it again made plans to come meet and then Never shows up. No word the day before or in the days after. I am sad about the amount of disrespect these boys on here give potential Dom(me)s

Updated my Profile today. Seems no one pays attention to it much or my Journal. Maybe if I am not so direct in things they will take time to read.

Commencement Ceremony Today :) Now what is up for the rest of the weekend. MM Maybe someone should come and clean the house for me Top to bottom , as a graduation present. ..

Blood work done again for Dr. Now to continue the search for the slave or 3 to augment my current chain. My kajirus is a good one tho his other obligations keep him from being here 24/7 he offers his opinion and I tend to agree I need to find a slave or 3 who can be here when he can not. Who will tend to my needs how ever menial , mundane or painful it maybe for them physically or financially.

Wonder why I have found one or two male slaves here who do as told but , to my dismay I have yet to find my kajira or bondmaid. I am seriously wondering if there is a real kajira or bondmaid out there. A Mistress can only hope for a girl who is as good to me as my kajirus is, he does all he can with very little delay, some things I give leeway on due to Obligations of work and family prior to my being in his life. Now I would be so happy to finally find the girl who can meet his qualities. Thought I had one but she has been doing the disappearing act again and that I am very displeased with.

Had a good weekend tho my one arm still hurts Dr says some sort of muscle strain. I enjoyed the weekend with my kajirus he did yard work and got crushed/smothered by me. He is a good boy and perhaps one day I will take all from him ..

The days go by and more and more I see how superficial most the "boys" on here are. They Expect a Mistress to give them their Fantasies their likes and desires. And that it is all her Pleasure to do so. They seem to think they get this and time alone with the Mistress for no work on their part. Heads up Boys, You will work and pay for the time in one way or another. Be it in $ , labor or Pain if you want alone time with this Mistress.

Still seeking boys or girls for certain roles in my house. Check HouseofMistress Profile for more information.

I Have had a few Call me Mistress over the years. That in itself says very little, but to have one so deeply devoted he offers me his life. That says a whole hell of a lot. That boy is dear to me he puts me on a pedestal and cares for me as a proper slave should. Now he is worried he is not enough . So I search for another boy or girl to help him in his endeavors of caring for the Mistress he loves so much he offers her his life. We thought we had found such a slave but Now I am unsure as the newer boy seems to not make time for his Mistress Only Excuses. So I remain searching for that special boy or girl who can put their Mistress above all else.

It has become painfully obvious to me that there is a HUGE range of ideas on what a slave is. I've seen profiles with the slave role checked yet they say , Do not do this do not do that. You Must respect me and I wont be owned by anyone married, or in a relationship, or who owns others.

Well now its time for me to be PAINFULLY Clear to any who want to even dream about being in my collar.

1. A slave is Property to me to be used as I see fit.
2. A slave has NO say in what I use them for after they are collared.
3. A slave in my collar has one goal in life. To make me HAPPY.

Dont like those thoughts then Please by all Means Skip over this Profile and the one of HouseofMistress

Well today will be an "off" day for me. You see Yesterday I had to have all my top teeth removed. A sad complication that happens to Millions of Diabete's patients.

Really could use someone to come clean the house this week. Dentist said to take it easy for a few days.

petneedsmistress finally showed up again. 2 years of his bullshit and excuses since his last beating. Today he got beat and his balls abused. Wonder if he will come back as told.

Still Looking for the perfect boy or girl to enhance my household. Could even be one boy one girl or more than one boy. Current household of slaves who actively come to see me is one of each. No live in slaves but that could change.

Found a couple  toys I want

http://www.leatherpost.com/static/RM0009.html

http://www.leatherpost.com/static/E1014.html

http://www.leatherpost.com/static/SP0030.html

http://www.leatherpost.com/static/CLE1180.html

So tired of people wasting my damned time. One boy who wanted to come meet. Did not have respect enough to let me know he was unable till I contacted him that morning hours before the meeting. He knew more than 12 hours prior he was not going to be there. And now is collared. He did not have the decency to tell me he was speaking and being considered by another Mistress. This is why I am becoming cynical and harder to contact.

Well one roommate did not work out. She has blown me off about paying me back. And now hasnt been back since Friday. So her things will get put in garbage bags tonight and Into the garage. I have 2 rooms up for rent now Put an add on my local Craigslist. And on my HouseofMistress Profile. Boyfriend has made a large difference in my life yet he doesnt care about my Dominating of slaves at all. He just says Be Careful. Gotta love having both worlds.

The vanilla relationship is fairing well. Things have changed and he is "learning" to deal with my slaves on a more Lifestyle Level. He is learning to be a "Master" Unlike some in my past he admits he isn't a Master yet but still learning and in that puts him 10 Steps above some others I know.

My bond was here again this time for a week. Tho she was sick a good portion of it as was most the house. I enjoyed her time with me. Now my kajirus is sick hoping to see him this weekend but if he isn't feeling better I am demanding he stay home and rest.

Had some guy who has no idea what a kajira or bondsmaid is want me to "teach" him how to be a Master using  my bond. She so isn't the one to train people how to deal with a Gorean slave. She is one of those bonds who if you don't know what she should and shouldn't do she would "eat you for lunch" and have your ass for desert. She is very trying and pushes buttons testing how far she can push someone to see if they break from their set "role" or decisions. I love her to death she is a great bond when it comes down to her serving me, but that is because I know what she should do what to expect out of her and how to make her feel her slave heat. Its not all beating someone or Sex. Its the little things the intonation of a word. The choice of words when you tell them to do something, or even the simplest touch in the right spot that sets that slave fire boiling deep within.

I have seen this in her and in my kajirus. They make my world go round and make me happy to be who I am. When all else fails I know at the end of a shitty day they love their Mistress with all that they are.

I have realized that tho I can maintain a somewhat vanilla Relationship with a Man. I Do not deal well with Said Man's lack of passion or lack of showing desire to touch me or kiss me or be touched by me. Makes me want to walk away. Guess I am more and more the Mistress all the time.

Well the new year is here. At December's End was my birthday my boy victim32955 took me out to a very Lovely dinner . To the likes I have not been to in so many years I am unsure if I have experienced one that was so fine. River Rocks On US1 Is a delightful place and the food is Simply Divine. Christmas I got perfume from my boy victim32955. A couple boys I know say they have presents for me when they are able to come see me .. We'll see if they do. Lets hope this is how the new year is going to be Filled with Fine dining, Smiles, Laughter , Amusement .. At the expense of slaves either by $ expense or how they are tormented , tortured , teased and Toyed with in my care.

So tired of people making assumptions. WYSIWYG ..

Well looks like the last potential tho he fit well may not work out. Enjoyed the time tormenting and torturing him when he was around. He isnt sure he can commit to a slaves life when he is not able to be around as often as he likes. So as its his last choice he has to make. If he returns great if he doesnt. I wish him well.

THis last week was decent had my "first boy" here most of it doing painting and little repairs that are needed on the house. Had the Potential boy here for a day helping. The NIght prior I tormented tortured and teased that poor boy till I swear his balls were almost blue...

I look forward to the weekends when I see my first boy he has come to mean alot to me and tho he thinks someone may I doubt anyone will anytime soon take his place.

Now if I could just get enough money coming in to make the bills so I can stay in the house when the renovations are done.

Has everyone forgot the old saying " When you assume things you make an ASS out of U and ME." I am tired of people assuming Because I am A BBW  that I am Unable to move about. Tired of boys assuming because they Talked to me before I moved to the House here in Rockledge , that things are the same as when I lived in Melbourne. Tired of People making asumptions in General.

Well the potential painslut made a grave error and didnt show up when he agreed he would. Then he Ignored my calls out of fear. Lucky for him I've been feeling generous and today when he explained to me what he had done I have decided to give him a second chance. Tho this may cost him alot more time in chastity and alot of days of none of his pain he will learn to love cherish and desire.

aww the  new potential painslut called me a tease in his journal. Guess I am doing something right!

A new boy came to see me today. He isnt in collar yet. However there is a high potential for that happening soon. And he is a painslut in training. YAY ME. Fairly well endowed and he drips so heavy when excited.

Yesterday I reclaimed my property. He has been mine since the faitfull day he asked me if I knew what a kajirus or thrall was. I let him have space and some time due personal reasons. Time is up and he was put back in his place. He is my first boy, someone who gets special treatment, but when he does wrong he will get the harshest punishments for he has been mine the longest he should know what he can and can't do anymore.

2 are considered in my chain. Both boys have their places in my life. Do I  have room for more. Certainly, I do. Do I want more? Perhaps, but they will be tested and queried. They will be put through some paces and things expected. A trial period of no less than 7 days .. To be 7 days in my presence.. These days will be when I say. A reminder to those who read this. I am A Mistress Or a Dominatrix which ever term you use I am the one in control. While I may play with your fantasies and make some come true it is Because its something that amuses me. If you are not ready to give up complete control and to tell me everything. Then I Suggest you do not Beg my collar But seek a contract with clauses. If I agree to them Then we will put you in a contractual Collar.

What part of SEX is not happening and it has to be earned do you boys on here not Understand.

I am starting to Not trust anyone who says they will do something. I am becoming a Firm Believer in What you see is what you get.

Actions Speak louder than words .. from now on boys n girls SHOW me your intentions not just speak them.

The house is great. The last couple days I've felt out of sorts and not done much of anything. Almost feel like I am letting someone down by not doing more..

Final Grades for my Associates degree are in B B B A .. Final GPA is a 3.68 .. Graduation ceremony is only once a year .. But I have my Degree!

So who's taking me to the Zoo as a congradulations gift?

Tonights Dinner in honor of one of my "boys" having a birthday is steak, fried potatoes and onions, Cabbage and Home made Fruit sauce,(Apple pear and peach) followed by his favorite Chocolate Cake ..

Yard work, Painting And even some drywall work still needs done. Could use a strong boy or two to help with these things.

Well With the rains some bad things appeared but Life happens. I know Some work really needs done around here.

And I need a bed. The Air Mattress will only suffice for a short time. Anyone wanna bring me a king sized bed?

providing I didnt fail anything my associates Degree is done... Now who is taking me out as a congradulations for 2 years of hard work?

Well The Move to Rockledge is almost complete Got some stuff to pick up tomorrow and my dog n cat. The house I am going to house sit is really in need of lawn work and overhaul cleaning.The Owner is here for a week helping but it would be really nice if I could get a few boys to come help him do things so I can Concetrate on Studies and my final Oral PResentation for finals next week.

Ok you boys who are not far away keep asking me to serve me .. I got left with ALOT of work outside to do and I over heat in this humidity really Easy. Who wants to do some Outside work for me tomorrow?

One week till I move. Today I was busy from breakfast to getting a small storage unit for the premove stuff. To Going to a nude beach with one of my boys. A few wonder if I am real.. Guess you gotta ask my boys if I am real..

just over 2 weeks away and I am moving.. I cant believe it is that close that means 3 weeks of classes 2 of actual class and one of finals till my associates (Providing i fail nothing) is complete.

Moving is happening But not so far away as I thought originally that Long Move has been postponed. I will be living in Rockledge before long.

SO funny someone begs for something .. begs you to be real and when you tell them to meet face to face to get more information. And that things depend on the situation cant plan every aspect out all of a Sudden . Sorry Not interested and they poof. SOunds to me like someone just trying to get their rocks off.

Could really use a boy who does body work on vehicles .. Even if just for a couple of jobs in exchange for his beating and torture.

Sounds like I am going to be seeking a slave or two this weekend or Monday evening to come clean. You must be none judgmental and Love to clean up nasty dirty places. As I will ensure it is going to be Nasty dirty and a lot of work for you slaves.

The past month has been for the most part good. One boy comes each week on thursday and takes me out to lunch. Have had a couple who say they are going to come meet me for lunch and not show up but that seems to be the norm. The boys in my collar .. They are there for one reason or another and I do cherish them and why I put them there. Perhaps I will share if asked nicely, I know with this economy if someone wanted to rent a boy to do housework or yard-work  I'd do that in an instant. Some ground rules for that would have to be setup depending on the boy's experience.

Well Since I don't get to go to Ft Peirce this weekend off I guess I am going to go for a few hours tomorrow back to a park here in Melbourne and sit. Who wants to be the one to bring me Lunch Subway sub , diet drink and plain chips. The Sub this months 4dollar footlong. Buffalo Chicken.

Sitting for a bit in a Park here in Melbourne , an Ice Cold Coke Zero, @ a subway Sandwich would be good right now. My Coke is getting a bit warm

New meds .. And lost another 10 pounds total since last Dr visit I'm below 300 Now !!! feb last year i was Over 360

couple new pictures up .. From my current location

One of my biggest pet peeves is being asked in the very first message for my phone or my skype or my yahoo. I think I may start being a bit materialistic with those boys and say sure 100$ for my yahoo 150 for my skype and 400$ for my phone. Since most of them are the type that what if you to death as they masturbate and then Never speak to you again.

No one showed for saturday and sunday how disappointing.

tho I have a new wish for my list I am definately going to work on obtaining

http://www.snakepitleatherworks.com/floggers/fangs.html

Looks like Saturday or Sunday Will be a good day to get a boy in here and have him clean like he keeps begging to do.

Ursus47us has made up for his not being at the appointed place and time. We had lunch and talked. So far so good. I will allow him to see me again, maybe next time he will feel the sting of a riding crop or barb.

Ok Update .. Techinically 2 in collar one who "left" still considers me his Mistress.  And tries to take care of me some I Just dont see him so often anymore .. And 

Ursus47us Was supposed to meet me today at 2pm. And guess what SURPRISE he Never showed up. 

One in collar, plus One who is still close to me. Looking for maybe one or two more .. Perhaps

Here is the deal.

1. You do not get my yahoo after the first message !!
2. If you want to be considered to become my slave you better read my journal in full.
3. If you want to be considered to become my slave you will keep daily contact with me.
4. I prefer slaves to submissives Learn the Difference.

Now what is this thing called a slave. I sometimes wonder if there are any true slaves out here. I know the same can be said about Mistress and Master's .. I am real and true. Sometimes cruel sadistic other times  as one I know says " A beautiful sweet Seductress who knows how to Tempt a man"

40 dollars to buy one new. Will get that sometime today. Hopefully it will be running by the weekend

ACK waterpump in van decided to become a seive.

Let's hope things keep going good. Tomorrow appointment at a job placement agency to hopefully get some Steady fulltime work again. Tired of bits and peice work.

Seasons may come and go. Somethings may fade and die. But the Pull of your one true Mistress to a slaves heart that is eternal.  

Sunday was a day of reading, games and Leisure. Ending with a phonecall that made me smile. Sometimes it is good to spend a day doing not much of anything. Tho reading my college books is certainly something.

Another Sunday .. Will I spend it reading the college books and playing Zuma and Solitaire. Probably..

Changed my profile drastically. Maybe it will get across my feeling. Maybe it wont. I will try one last time. Tired of the lies and deception and tired of fakes.

Where are all the slaves anymore. Maybe Its just me. Perhaps I should walk away from this for a while. 

Sundays without a visit .. This will take alot of getting used to. Sat all day waiting for the phone to ring to hear the words of I'm on my way be there in 45 minutes to an hour.

Then I remember, He isnt coming anymore. Damn That sounds so pathetic for me, but its the honest truth.

Once again My chain is empty. my boy started going back to church and has decided family and church is his focus. He will be missed.

Well his reason for not being here seemed Valid enough. I will require proof tho. Now if only other people in my life would do what they say.. I really Hate living and depending on others right now. Cant wait to finish my classes and all goes well get a Real JOB

Hmm Someone was supposed to be here today. Even left me an IM saying I better be there tomorrow. And guess what HE Didnt show up. Go figure.

really disappointing weekend. Had planned for seeing someone Sunday and when I call to find out when they will arrive I get told they wont be coming. If they knew they had so much to do why didnt they call me this morning or last night and tell me. Instead of leaving me hanging thinking I was going to be having an afternoon/ evening with them.

The past week has been enlightening .. Phonies galore.. Now lets see who talks the talk.. Will they Walk the walk?

Someone starts talking to me today. About being a true slave. Then does a flip out.. Says I Wont change to get what I want .. Saying I am questioning his loyalty. The Boy has lost his ever loving mind. I never mentioned any Loyalty to him. Just the Fact I am A Gorean at heart To me Slaves are Property to be used as I see fit. So be it physically , mentally , financially, is that not the job of a slave?

Another Semester has gone. Grades are still Impeccable.  A A A - Means Presidents List again. 3rd time in my 6 Semesters. Not bad. I don't have classes for another Week. Wonder if anyone will end up taking me to the Zoo like I've been trying for the last 2 years.

Finals for this semester are next week. Then a Week off. Wonder what I will be doing for that week. Who I may see.

NEt is back

No internet at home till the 1st or 15th :( so will only be on when at the college or I go to a friends house.

Not pleased with the last few weeks. Tho I did get an A on my last test in my Mondays class.

Someone has been busy , way to busy I think. As they have forgotten to call me 2 days in a row now. That is a bit upsetting.

I am starting to believe trusting in anyone is not something I should do. So Many beg for my yahoo, beg to call or text, beg to come see me. Then They don't show at the last minute. Last No show I was to meet them at a local park to meet in public and face to face. a husband wife slave couple. I sat for hour and half. They Didnt show now their profile doesnt exhist. Go figure.

Not been a great week. perhaps this Weekend or the week coming up will be better. My kajirus says he is too busy to come up to see me this weekend. That is a bit upsetting , I enjoy using him on our visits.

Today was a good day. Spent most of it with my "kajirus" tormented him after breakfast and we watched a movie. He still thinks I need one or more slaves to take care of me when he can't be around. I think Maybe he is right another slave or two may be what I need. So yes I'll seriously consider those who Follow instructions, and Are not afraid of being put on a trial period first.  

Here is to hoping tomorrow is better than today. Had a friend pick up my meds for me at walmart seems Walmart filled 3 old prescriptions and forgot to fill the one I needed most. So Now I have to wait till tomorrow to go get it and get this crap sorted.

What some people fail to understand is there is the Public side of a person and the "lifestyle" Side of a person. While the two may blend some and intermingle , there is always going to be times when you have to be "vanilla" and If a sub or slave , can not function and appeal to me in that environment too why would I want to put them in my personal collar? Thus the Reason I ask for something like the Zoo, or maybe a trip to the beach, or a manicure / pedicure and A  meal. It could even just be a nice leasure long meal sitting talking and such.  Make an impression In a vanilla setting and I can almost garauntee you will be asked back for something more "lifestyle" later.

Saw the Dr today as a followup from Monday. She was happy with my weight loss. She changed most of my meds. Some simply just doubled the dosage. Others changed totally. And told me I had to take supplements now. Oddly enough the changes reduced my medication cost now most all my meds are covered by Walmart's 4dollar 30 Day prescriptions .. YAY for some things. Was a nice morning breakfast  with my kajirus, then  he took me to the Dr, and then to Walmart for meds and such.

Weekend Plans were canceled sadly.

So Who is coming to take me to The Zoo this weekend? I still have yet to go, how sad is that.

Oh for the Love of all the Gods in the Religious Universe on the planet. I am so tired of people and their Mass Mailing of the same "letter".  I mean come on Atleast if your going to lie to a person and say you wrote that just for them. Take time to Take out the "Master or Mistress" and make it one or the other .. Take out the You All and make it something less vague.  Its Lazy and From now on if I find it looking so blatantly like a "mass mailed or form letter" I am going to just delete it no response.

The past few days have made me think. And listening via text message to a few slave or should I say wanna be slaves. Makes me remember how much time it takes to find a good slave. How many bad choices can be made and how many bad "days" can be had before you find one or two good matches.

perhaps the days to come will be much brighter, We'll see how the weekend turns out.

Went to ER today because of 3 days of abdominal Pain. I have a UTI , anemia and low potassium. Antibiotics, painmeds, and potassium was given and sent home with prescriptions. What a way to spend my Valentines Days.

Ever have one of those days where Nothing makes you smile. Try having a week of it.

Some days I wonder if there are any true kajirus left, or if my kajirus was the last.

Some people are idiots. Class this morning I spent all week studying for a test but 4/5 the class didnt. So they begged to postpone the test. Teacher did..

Why do people lie and decieve so much on here.

My kajirus keeps telling me I need to find someone Younger than him who can provide for me. Someone who wants to be with me as much as he does. He thinks he is so unworthy of me and my attentions .. The Torturing I give him the lashes with "barb" and the riding crop make him squirm so much. Perhaps I do need a 2nd "boy" who is able to be at my beck and call at a moments notice. Maybe I need a whole stable of boys like that ..

Final grades from the Fall Semester came today A A B. I got a B in Algebra .. the one class I thought I failed. Now I have the whole weekend off. Wonder if anyone is going to treat me to a trip to the zoo, or a pedicure or dinner. Hmm any of those would be really nice.

This week has been one of relaxation, and pleasure. My kajirus really has given me a recharge on my "batteries" in this thing called life. I look forward to weekends and more time alone using and abusing his body as I see fit.

At the home of my kajirus for a week. YAY Me.

Last day for this Semester Lets see how it Goes. I know I got a 98 Yesterday on my final exam only missed one Question.

Two days Left Wednesday and Thursday of classes for this Semester. Then On Sunday I go to my kajirus for a week. What wonderful things he will have to endure. The Beautiful marks that will be left on his body. I am so looking forward to that week.

Hmm Tomorrow no class. wonder if anyone will actually make it to see me.

Well so far I find most to be players on this site. Be they Dominants or submissive/ slaves. Seems all anyone lately wants is to waste my time. Femrobert never showed nor has a few others. the only one who has been faithful to his word is my kajirus.

What about me makes these boys decide at the last minute they will back out and not even have the common courtesy to call or im or email and say they are not coming.

I have a hankering for some chinese food. Wonder if anyone will be around when I get out of class to take me to lunch today.

Another day goes by and nothing going on. It is so boring not having someone in collar anymore.

Yep time will tell. And they do the message , get to know you and disappear act. Ya know perhaps I should just take an extended break from the lifestyle. Doesnt seem like Anyone is serious anymore. They say they are, they say they want to meet and be collared after weeks of talking. But they never make the effort. They Expect Me to come to them and do it all. Well it don't work that way. They want to be in my collar they COME to see me. Not me drive to them.

Time will tell if anyone will be able to fill the spot of the kajirus.

Well a couple here are talking to me and want to learn more about me. I wonder if they have read my journal at all.

A great disappointment is the  loss of my kajirus. I enjoyed using him when I had the chance.

Well Another day another disappointment. .. People just dont seem to have respect for others anymore.

You know the more I sit and think on the non contact of the kajirus the more, determined I am, if I see him again to make sure he understands No contact  is disobedience and disobeying me comes with a severe price to pay.

ok the kajirus has upset me. I am not sure what I am going to do , to try and get this through his head. Daily contact is not an option it is a requirement.

How damn hard is it to KEEP in daily contact. Oh I am starting to hate submissives and slaves again .. They all need beat till they bleed.

I've got the next 3 days with no classes. Wonder what I will do this weekend. Still havent made it to the zoo. One day I will  Even if I have to go alone.

Why am I not surprised 10:10 and the boy is not here. Never Ceases to amaze me. How RUDE some people can be. He had my Phone number he could of called to say something came up. 

Well today a boy is to be here in 30 minutes to take me out for breakfast and then out for the day.  Looks like the weather will hold so Maybe if he shows I will actually get my trip to the zoo. I so Love Zoo's tho sometimes I pity the animals in the cages , some of them were built to run far and fast. Then I am reminded had they not been in the zoo they could be dead by now. SO its a trade off I guess. But they are creatures of Beauty.

Why is it people make promises they have no intentions to keep. This isnt just in the Lifestyle but happens so much I've seen in the vanilla world. Tho Lately Boy's saying they will come and meet has been the biggest issue. The only one who has held up to his word 97% of the time has been my kajirus..

3 days in a row this has ended up missing after I posted. Recently my kajirus had a birthday I think I will give him part of his birthday spankings in lashings instead with barb... There are a couple who are seeking to be in my collar. Lets see if they are  actually dedicated enough. One who is in chastity pictures in my profile isnt the hour distance has him acting out and being a bit on the rude side of things.. We'll see what happens.

I saw my kajirus again, he took me to the college and brought me home from it. After we had lunch. I enjoy time with him it is very good to smile specially when I am applying barb to his body.

Today was a decent day. kajirus showed up we went out to Denny's where he helped me understand some of the basics in Algebra. ACK I still say its a swear word. And we had a late lunch. We'll see how things go he is hurting I understand but he needs to learn balance and to trust his Owner.

AC broke ACK 95 outside and 91 inside was not for a nice day.
Then tonight .. How is it someone who Only when High wants to be enslaved. Always calls me Weak Because I wont drop what I am doing and Hitchhike to come enslave him some 70 miles away when I dont have a vehicle right now of my own. Yet he wont get off his ass and come to me. ANd he has a damn truck.

Do you Not even pay attention enough to who you are messaging that you Don't See their name in RED like yours, or the Fact my name says MISTRESS? HELLO I am a Dominant WOMAN and NOT a submissive or slave. Assuming I would want to Submit to your Unobservant ass is just stupid. Welcome to the List of Asshats and Fakers because you are one or the other if not both.
MistressCrearwy

Sat here and was updating my profile and realized last time I really overhauled it I had lost 17 pounds and this week when I weighed in I was 2 pounds lighter still. SO that is 19 pounds since February. Not a HUGE loss but I've been told by Dr and specialists that slow gradual loss will stay off the big drastic ones that everyone begs for you know the type 20 pounds in 2 weeks.. 90% of the time end up gaining those 20 pounds plus antoher 4 or 10 more. So another step in the GO ME line :)

At the airport :) 30 minutes till I board .. brought my feeldoe they ended up checking my bag for it. The lady looked at it then at me. Grinned and said "Nice" then said I was good to go after they checked my computer. ALMOST there :)

Well in Orlando for the night. The beast has deleted or hidden his profile. After it seems using me to make a girlfriend jealous. .. This is why I dont trust so many people anymore.n my joanne has not given me any  issues .. If the collaring/ds relationship is that hard to make work something isnt right. and with joanne it has been smooth as silk.

OK thought I didnt need to say this but I guess I do.
Just because I am a  BBW does not mean I am desperate to get laid.
If all you are looking for is a fast romp in the hay ..
Look the other way.
On another note. YES I have MSN and YIM. But Guess what. No one gets those without Earning it. Its not a Hi how are you. What's your instant messenger name. NOT HAPPENING ..

Ok this entry and one every so often is dedicated to a friend of mine in Austraila. He is a Gorean Master and Seeks a girl for his collar. He lives in rosebud victoria. If you are a true kajira please Drop me a line we'll talk some and If you appear to be one whom I know he would enjoy I'll get information from you to send to him so he can contact you.

I sometimes wonder how people can get off being Rudeo complete strangers. I commented on someone's journal entry talking about so many fake dom/domme , with there are fakes on both sides of the coin. To be insulted and basically told I look like a mental case. The lady from Misery was nothing more than that. But that is what this boy's comment was said I looked like her.  

So who is going to be the first to actually do what they say , and when they say they submit actually do so? Tired of submission meaning "Ok i'll do it today but tomorrow i"ve changed my mind i wont do it..."

I MADE THE DEANS LIST
YAY ME!!!!
fOR THOSE WHO DIDNT KNOW I AM BACK IN COLLEGE AFTER 20 YEARS OUT OF SCHOOL FOR A DEGREE IN COMPUTER INFORMATION SCIENCE

Well today actually Yesterday now. I started talking a little more indepth with a boy. He seems to honestly be searching to be owned. We'll see how things go as Time progresses. But so far he seems like a prospect.

Still looking for the One True slave that My Collar is ment for.

Well the arrival of aiko has been postponed something unexpected has changed the dates.
dove was here and then left choosing to go to a vanilla life with a boyfriend instead of being in collar.
Craves2please I dont know what happened to that one. One day he is begging to be allowed to return and visit again, the next poof.
 Guess that leaves room for more in my life. I'm talking to a few one seems very intent on proving and becoming my toy, Some how I am attracking the early 20's  or over 50's age brackets. Hey boys and girls it dont matter in age to me. Its only a number after 18.

The Move went Fine. And this past weekend I had the oppertunity to have a visitor.

It seems that so far all I have met are into games of the mind. Well those games can be played elsewhere. I am not up for them. Life is to much of its own stress why add mind games to the mix?


What you see
is
What you get
When it comes to me !!

hmm why is it  .. Someone claims to want to be your and then disappears after you finally accept them.. Hmm Could it be that as some have said . Alot on here are not what they seem to be..


pet4u2use & slv4realMistress
if you read this .. IM me You may still have a chance.