Missy47

I have come to realize I don't do superficial well, my play is intense, as my
love will be to the person I can fully submit to. It's emotional submission that's hard,
honestly I never really have, I have wanted to "where deep passion exists", the
kind that scares you because it can dominate self and blur limits. I can turn pain to pleasure, I was taught to do that if the trust is there, the
play kept at the right threshold, but emotions...
who will capture my heart, my soul.

Sometimes I forget... the sub space that brought me to a more primal level..
the desire..the craving I could not justify..
I want to believe that vanilla will work for me it was just a phase....
Sometimes I almost come believe this lie I tell myself...
perhaps it's just hard to find a compatible person but I did once,
I like the BDSM scene it is me more than I want to admit.

I have been asked many times why ? ....
... do I like being a BDSM bottom and as part of the scene, a submissive or slave.     
Funny, one self called Dom that asked; then told me some women have this overbearing need to be told that    "you are a good girl",
comes from a daddy thing the need for approval and some women will do almost anything to hear those words.
Well you know I do like to hear those words from time to time,
but receiving a nice flogging works too, or "this dinner you made tastes great."
or to hear him yell "G.. that's INTENSE as he arches"
That same Dom suggested I desire BDSM because of the endorphin joy.

The BDSM Master who trained me said to just accept that I like it.
Well that wonder-full orgasm I had has something to do with my joy,
and the crisp reality that comes to being.
That strange feeling of being owned because I can see his mark on me left by his cain.
Sitting down feeling that warm slight sting, just somewhat erotic.

To simplify BDSM and the D/s life style with it's about "that's a good girl"
and endorphin rush well..... shallow.