misspage

I was just pondering on some things. I'm surrounded by a lot of people in my life who are poly or consider themselves poly. Some days i wonder if some of them really understand the meaning behind this concept however. Single relationships can be tuff on their own; when you begin to add other people it just compounds issues. I often wonder why folks who don't have good communication skills even bother with attempting to have a poly relationship. I have learned if you can't be an adult and actually sit down and talk over things it's not going to work... Hello!

Something i picked up in the last 3 months also is at some point we have to take responsibility for our own feelings. At some point in your life you have to quit blaming everything on everyone else and own your feelings. Loved ones can not help you through things if you aren't willing or able to talk to them about it like an adult. If you are lonely then take the responsibility for that and talk to your partners let them help you work through why or how the best way to fix that is. If you are jealous or feeling left out or mad or.... damn i could list a book of emotions here. I am so sick of seeing people point fingers and not bothering to own what's theirs. I have learned if i can't tell my partners i'm upset with them or i don't like something they did i have no one to blame but myself. I also expect them to tell me if i am acting like an ass. If you are in a relationship where you can't feel comfortable telling your partner their behavior is not acceptable or you don't want them telling you that your behavior is not acceptable it's time to reconsider your relationship ideals. I certainly don't want to have to constantly walk on eggshells around someone i care about.

I don't claim to have the answers, heck i do good enough to hold my own relationships together and i still don't know what i am. I do try to be honest and up front about that tho. I struggle through my own emotions and i don't always do it right but i am making an effort to own them as what they are.... mine. Not someone else?s to point fingers at but my own.

Ok it's time to step down off my soap box or i'll just keep ranting and ranting and that's not good for me. Thank you my friends for listening.

It has been a long time coming and for once i'm happy with things in my life. There are some things that have been a bit tedious but for the most part things are dang good for me for a change. Some days are a challenge that's just how the cards are delt sometimes. With out those challenges tho one never would grow it seems to me.  One day at a time one step at a time and i'm doing my best to be honest with myself and the things i desire and need in my life.  You know i've found it's really easy to be not true to yourself and your feelings sometimes when you are trying to put someone else?s feelings first.... what is so freaking sad about that is that i have to yell at myself and say QUIT FREAKING DOING THAT!!!!  Old habits are hard to break away from sometimes.  A very dear friend of mine ask me today why was i waiting on people...I couldn't give him a good answer aside from i was being stupid.  I will not be ignored, I will not be treated second best, I will not wait for someone else to make me happy. I am responsible for my own happiness and i am taking control of that.  I will not sit by idle while someone else looks on thinking i should be happy with what i'm given.  *shakes her head* Sorry i'm greedy and i want what i want and i will not be put on the back burner for someone to turn on or off when they feel the need.  Submissive or slave, Dominant or top we are all responsible for our feelings and if we aren't being open and honest about them and true to ourselves we have no one to blame but ourselves.