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So.. What happens when you meet someone..And things seem to be going well...You are compatible with life goals, similar age group, share common interests...And then you find out something about that person that crosses your core values.
Does it matter if it happened before they knew you? If I robbed a bank before I met you, am I less a bank robber in your eyes because it happened before you met me? Is telling me this "in openness and honesty" a free pass that I can't disagree with? Is my being "judgmental" now an excuse to not be honest?
In my eyes, when I meet someone I expect honesty. I expect to not have to doubt things they are telling me. That being said, it doesn't mean because you're honest I'm going to be happy with everything you tell me honestly. We all have core values..Intrinsic values that we won't compromise upon. It's not likely that we will know everything about someone in the first month...or even several months..that we are seeing them. But, in time, as things do get revealed..we..well, we do judge.
People have this mindset against judging..But we all judge...You can call it whatever you like..Make it seem more politically correct..Call it "determining compatibility"..But you're really making a judgement about whether or not that person is right for you, when you meet someone and you're in that getting to know them time frame. We all do that.
To me, when you're looking for a foundation to build upon, it starts with core values. And integrity is a huge one for me. I don't want a man who "doesn't care if I've cheated on every man I've ever been with as long as I don't cheat on him". I want man who sets the bar higher than that. Who feels as I do, that you don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you.
Maybe that makes me narrow minded and judgmental. But I feel to a certain degree, society today in our zealous determination to be politically correct and perceived non judgmental, has lost it's moral compass. I live by certain principles and want a man who also lives by his.
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