Been away from the scene for about 2 half years.   Tentatively putting my toe in again.  Feeling much like a newbie.  So going to take it a little bit slower until I am 100 pc sure what I now need.  Tried vanilla dating but something missing. So back here looking.  Looking for an Ltr not tpe, a mix of vanilla and Ds.  

December 2011  Well I officially start back to work beginning January with phased return over 3 weeks, depending how I cope.  Am very excited because I have been so bored these last few months.

Had a good night out Thursday at Staff Xmas Do which was also our Boss's retirement.  So when I go back new management....lol

Feeling much begtter next have to work on getting myself fit and losing some weight as put on too much whilst stuck at home.

New year starting son fingers crossed it will be better than last two....

Sept 2011 - Well things didn't go quite as expected.  They didn't manage to fix me that first time in hospital, so ended up having loads of tests.  In all I had 12 units of blood over 2 months for severe anaemia which thye found was caused by a tumour in my colon - cancer.  

So had major surgery end of July, they cut half my insides out - lol; but now on the mend.  Been very lucky as it looks like they managed to get it all and it hasn't spread.

Here I am again to bother you all.....big grin

take care

Have been in hospital for past week.  Apologies to all I was chatting to.  Need to rest for a bit, so will be back in touch soon.

mischina

Needed a little break but back now.  Still looking but hey so are many others.  Know I need my other half but doubt very much will ever find him.  Surely he has to be out there somewhere, but getting tired of the wannabees.

mischina

Looked at a profile today, which was offering subs living allowance per month - £1500.  I sent Dom a text saying why would you want to pay a sub?  Don't think he took it too well because the reply I got was - Your too old. fuck off - and then he blocked me.  Such a way with words...lol

My question was genuine and i was certainly not offering myself.  I have a good job which I enjoy and certainly would not want to give up. 

Thought this warranted a separate blog.

Yes i am a large girl and will be honest about it.  If you ask me about my size and are then not interested - at least have courtesy to say so.

I am not made of glass I will not break...lol 

An interesting couple of days.

Chatted with a Dom on chat on CM.  He seemed really keen.  Though I was wary as he didn't seem to want to chat on msn.  Then he says he wants to meet.  I say fine when, I am free....................  Suddenly he can't make a decision.  Then I say as we haven't seen pics of each other how about we chat on phone first.  Oh yes he says.  Must go now will exchange phone numbers tonight.

Surprise surprise have heard nothing else from him - another Wannabee hits the dust.

Jeez.  Well it passed a very boring day...lol 

Can seriously understand why one of my friends in the end turned Domme!!!

Feeling really down today - a bit of sub drop maybe!!  Have met up with three indiviuals over the ladt 3 weeks.  First two after dinner we mutually agreed there was no spark and went our separate ways in a friendly manner. 

Yes terday I met another Dom, lunch went well, he seemed really nice and i made the decision to invite him back to mind for coffee.  Well things progressed and we ended up playing.  It was enjoyable i found myself able to submit to him - which is always my worry with someone new.  I thought we both ad a pleasand afternoon, getting something from it.  Not sure that there was anything more though.

He left to go home, nothing said.  Perhaps I expected more  - at least a note saying thanks for the afternoon but don't think we suit .  But instead I got a big blank nothing, not even a text to say he was home safe. 

So now i feel used, my perception of course, he came equipped to play.  Not sure i can cope with doing this anymore.  So am going to take a break.

Perhaps i expect too much , am looking for someone who doesn't exist.