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*quick update: I'm looking for either a dominant woman or man, I'm attending university so I am unable to relocate at this time and I'm unlikely to rush into any 24/7 relationship without a period of dating beforehand. I am focused on starting my career as a writer, so any friends with that as an interest would be highly welcome.*
Sleeping Beauty wakes from her slumber...
Hello all, well it’s been a long time since I’ve been on this site, and I apologise to all who messaged me in that time.
I am back after trying to make a vanilla relationship work for over a year! Yes I know, I’m silly. But he was a decent person so I tried. But of course I really am well and truly submissive, so I have to seek one who is truly dominant.
Recently I have found I am very attracted to women, in fact more so than men, so thats an interesting development for me... I have always been Bi of course, but now I suspect I may be rather lesbian.
I live on the Sunshine Coast and attend uni full-time. I am focusing on becoming a better writer, as one of my passions is writing fantasy fiction and erotica. I am pagan and very respectful of all beliefs and disbeliefs. I am pro LBGT rights. I am pretty unconventional I guess, but I don’t aim to be, I just exist as my natural, beautiful self and unfortunately most of society sees that as a difficult thing. I’m caring and compassionate and very creative, so I am looking for a Dominant who would enjoy me expressing those things. I also have recently developed an allergy to a whole bunch of foods as well as fragrances, though I do have a very healthy and tasty diet (I love to cook). This allergy only really impacts when I am in an environment full of fragrances, like shopping malls, so outdoors dates are best for me, perhaps thats one of the reasons I love nature so much.
I’m a bit of a geek- loving 90’s role-playing games, anything medithough I hate them), roleplaying, kneeling, fetching drinks, giving massages, and just generally serving and giving pleasure to a deserving Dominant.
I’m still looking for my dark guardian angel, and am patient enough to realise the wait for someone who inspires me is better than rushing off with a "nice-enough" Dominant.
Thankyou for taking the time to read my profile, I wish you much luck in your quest.
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Okay to anyone who attempts to read this, this entry covers a lot of different thoughts so it is a bit of a, well it is a giant ramble. Enjoy!
I just did a little research and realised there are not that many women around my age in Australia on this website. Was it always this way?
I know a few dominants who have mentioned a submissive drought, but I had not thought it would be quite that bad.
There are even less dominant women from Australia online, Those red names are a rarity.
So I did a little search, from now until the start of June this year, realising there will be more infrequent visitors to the site. However it should still be a fairly accurate representation, if a little rough.
There was:
7 pages of female dominants seeking submissive men compared to 38 pages of submissive men seeking female dominants... poor submissive guys!
12 pages of female submissives seeking dominant men compared to 44 pages of dominant men seeking female submissives, once again there is a large gap, poor dominant guys!
6 pages of submissive women seeking dominant women compared to 6 pages of dominant women seeking submissive women. These are even, yay, but they are also rare. It would be hard to find eachother when the majority of the members are not what they are looking for. Needle in a haystack!
6 pages of dominant men seeking submissive men compared to 10 pages of submissive men seeking dominant men, this is fairly even yay! However again it would be hard considering the huge number of straight men on this site, to find those who actually do want to be with a man.
With regards to trans people once I started my research I realised you were a bit of a wildcard sorry (bad research design), but this is what I uncovered... there were 4 pages of trans people seeking anyone compared to 43 pages of people looking for dominant and submissive trans.. but then this may be misleading as some of those people would not actually be wanting to start anything with a trans person. Either way you are very rare.
Anyway this is becoming big and tangled and I was just trying to do a small study, but what I find is this.
There is a large number of straight submissive men on this site and a large number of straight dominant men on this site. There are far less submissive women and dominant women are especially rare.
It is interesting to consider why this is. Is there really that few women that are into bdsm compared to men? And why would this be so? I know many women my age who like "a man that can beforceful" but would have no idea what bdsm means.
One thing I notice is that I find myself an anomally amongst women the women I know who do not seem to study sexuality as much as I do, and do not even enjoy anal sex.
Whereas the men I talk to seem to be more open to different things and more likely to have heard of bdsm (though with my luck I always fall for the one guy that will say huh? when I mention bdsm).
I looked at the sex ratio of Australia and discovered it is pretty much equal! In fact there is generally a few more women than men, but not enough to talk about. So there is no less women to account for the apparent lack of women on this website.
It may have something to do with the perception that it's acceptable for men to be sexually active, make use of internet dating sites, and be active in searching for a lover, while if a woman is seen as sexually active, and searches for a lover, she is seen as a 'bad girl' Got to love that whole virgin/slut catergory society has going on where men don't really have that.
Instead men have a whole bunch of other things to deal with, like how men are expected to be both sensitive and gentle and in control of their emotions but somehow still be manly (whatever that means) but they have to respect women but if they hold open doors for them they are sexist... huh? Now that is a hell of a lot of mixed messages for men to be dealing with!
Perhaps the disparity between genders isn't to do with women, perhaps it is to do with how society is treating men, how there is less said about men's rights. Boys and girls are taught 'girls can do anything' but there is no one to say 'boys can do anything' too.
With so many pressures on men, and so few avenues to express primal urges such as hunting, fucking, providing. With the effects of feminism where in public, in the workplace, men are encouraged to appear metrosexual and sensitive, is it any wonder that men may desire to express these things with lovers?
This journal entry seems to really have no focus... I just find everything interesting. Power games are so tricky and taboo in this feminist era. But it shows that women have not yet achieved the equality we wish for, if there are so few women who openly desire to play with power and explore their sexuality.
I'm a feminist but I also care for men's rights, and am alarmed by sexism I see against men. I see over and over in the media messages that men are 'stupid', the ones to be laughed at. this kind of mentality will make men feel powerless. When men feel powerless they can take this out on women and children though abuse.
And there is a large difference between the things we do and abuse, but it is on the edge of it, at times, it is a danger point. When I do submissive things I am recognising that abuse does happen, that there is the danger of that in this world, and I am saying that despite that I still am free to enjoy sex.
I am a feminist submissive and I see absolutely no problem with that. I am liberated to live my life as I wish to. I wish to be submissive in many ways to my partner, be they male or female, and to be a housewife, raise children as well as have a career as a writer. That is the beauty of my freedom, I am empowered to choose to be 'disempowered' but really it is my desire, my will that chooses to submit, so there is never harm done to who I am. However a lot of feminists would not like me to have this freedom. A lot of feminists would think it wrong that I look at porn. I figure, men are allowed to look at porn, so why shouldn't I be allowed to also? I am not a sexless object.
Anyway I feel more sympathy now for the men who want me to dom them even though I really very very rarely dom men (it has happened, but really.... no I want a dom I am submissive at heart).
I feel more understanding of the frustration felt by many on this site who are having a hard time finding what they want.
Please, to all the lovely men out there, flooding this website and getting more and more bitter, please retain hope. please remember who you are and don't allow the frustration of this place to impact on you in any lasting way. This is an artificial meeting place, it's not great, but it is what we have. I get that it is tough.
I have experienced what it is to pursue women, to try for women, so I understand now from those experiences a bit more about what it might be to be a male (and gosh isn't pleasing a woman one of the most pleasing, confidence-boosting quests in the world) and how when looking for a woman you are expected to put yourself out there. Sometimes when you put yourself out there so many times you might feel there is nothing left, you give everything to a brick wall and then feel drained and pessimistic.
But you are all strong men. Submissive men are just as strong as dominant men, in the core you have that same masculine power, you just use it in different ways. Every man has the choice to remian strong, even when the battle is hard. If this site is giving you no luck, keep trying, but don't pour too much of yourself into it. Keep trying to meet people through other ways, subs- fetch that sexy lady at the party a drink, doms- mesmerise that cute girl at the local store with your delicious domly stare. And while all that is going on just feel proud of who you are, it is a blessing that you are different and special, not a curse. All desire is beautiful, including the desire that is restrained.
If I could be anything I would be one of Ishtars priestesses from ancient Babylon, a temple whore who brings to her patrons healing, comfort and hope. But these days we have to worry about things such as sexual disease, and being a sacred whore would be looked down on in this society. Damn. If only my body were indestructable.
And how weird is it anyway to try and get to know someone via internet. I scan peoples profiles and decide on a whim if I feel interested in them or not. But in reality I am interested in no one, because it is just text on a screen, the only way to really know if you have a connection, I strongly feel, is to meet in person.
But then arranging to meet someone in person is like almost giving a promise that you do feel a connection, and what if they feel something for you but you do not for them, or vice versa.
It's kind of horrible. And it is like doing it all backwards. But still I'll hang around here, because I am submissive and there's nowhere for me to go, nowhere else for me to have this voice.
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Etherial Love, Eternal Love
That sweet melencholy
That mortal folly
That which we hide and seek
The pure softness of snow
The sun's gentle glow
In a love that is truly unique
Etherial, fleeting
Hearts and minds meeting
Lasts only a moment- or lasting forever?
Secret desires
That burn like bonfires
Hidden, smouldering, but extinguished- never
Brambles ensnaring
Clothes and souls tearing
A rip in my universe I will not mend
Is the search eternal
Is it a lie universal
Or does it exist, a love that won't end?
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Hello friends, tonight I'm in a thoughtful mood. Pondering the nature of dominance and submission.
There are so many forms it can take, so many ways it can be expressed. What some say with a bullwhip, others perfer to say with japanese knots. Still others say it with a firm spanking, and others say it with a teasing feather. It can be said with a single kiss. It can be said with a single raise of the eyebrow.
Then there are the others who say it with an arched back, a silent cry, a loud scream, a muffled moan through a much-needed ballgag.
They say it with their knees, or heads that are bowed. Others say it with a bratty sneer, with an "I dare you" stare. Others say it with deep courage, or a willing fear.
Others say it with tears, or say it with smiles. Sometimes they say it with both at one time.
They can say it in agony, they can say it in ecstacy. They can say it with laundry, with dishes washed clean.
It can be said in public, in a kind of collar code. It can be said in private, in the intimacy of snuggling under quilt covers.
It is said in little everyday gestures, it is said in romantic evenings, it is said in wedding vows, it is said during sex, it is said during life.
It can be said in devotion, or said in lust.
It can be said with a shout, with a soft whisper, with a true heart and a determined soul.
It is said in absolute truth, in the inner sacredness of us all.
It is said in a moment of contentment with the self, in a moment when we are truly ourselves.
It is said all over the world, in many different languages, in countless, myriad, uncatergorisable ways. It is something we all say, and this is what bonds us all together.
It is not the activites, the bdsm resume, the posturing and posing that brings us together, that unites us as one.
It is simply what we say:
"I control" / "I yield"
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Well hello again after a long long inactive period.
Biggest apologies to all those I befriended and left in the dark while i took my hiatus. I hope they can forgive me, but if not thats okay.
So my state atm, well with regards to the unrequited-love-friend I think I'm starting to get over him. I don't see him anymore which i think is good for me, but also makes me wonder how i truly feel about him, can't be sure if i never see him. But i'm getting over him, slowly.
I've been going through an emotional tidalwave, I'm not sure how else to describe it.
But it's all good. :)
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Ah unrequited love, isn't it messy. I've fallen for someone, who isn't even a dom lol. Its terrible. Nonetheless this is how I truly feel, Every time I've tried to ignore or deny it it has blown up in my face. He is my friend, just my friend and I'm pretty damn sure he doesn't like me in any romantic way, which is a pity. He's also not a dom, though he has all the qualities that make a dom a dom. I'm hoping in the future I will either get over him, or become his girlfriend; but until something changes I'm stuck in this situation. It's not all bad though, Love is very much a positive force, And i would rather feel this wild, passionate beautiful and painful love, and remain alone, than be in a relationship where there was no love, no passion at all. So my search for a relationship is put on hold until i can be sure that i am finally over him... might take me awhile.
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Hrmm I've had a ridiculous amount of responses so to save all these lovely Doms wasting their valuable time i'd like to make it clear that i am not looking for anyone over 30 years of age. I am looking for someone i can be in a relationship with, and i would feel weird bringing you home to meet my dad if you were older or similar in age to him!! I am not the daddys girl type (tho i respect that type alot, its just not me) and although older Doms may have more experience, I am still only looking for people closer to my age. Maybe by the time I am 35 I will be ok with Doms that are 55... but till then please use your time to message subs closer to your age. my best wishes go to you all.
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Wishing For A Master
The Vampires bite
White hot pain
Brings with it a pleasure
I need it again
Your dangerous eyes
Blue spun glow
They hold me, trap me
Oh don't let go
Your mouth on my flesh
Claiming what's yours
A need to surrender
And you are the cause
Your words, they twist
With lustful force
There's no way to stop this
It must run its course
Take me, make me,
For I am your slave
I'm gasping for breath
As I drown in the wave
Of pleasure, of terror
At what I've become
I'm your slave from my toe
To the curve of my thumb
I twist and I writhe
But you pin me down
You are my king
My tears form your crown
Your mouth on my neck
You suck and you bite
I'm wrapped in darkness
With you as my light
You fill me, you kill me,
You pound me with cock
Your teeth sink in
And my body's in shock
As you take me it happens
You give what I need
I come and I'm shaking
As I beg and I plead
Tears down my cheeks
My body in bliss
You open my mouth
To your tender kiss
All my life I've dreamed of you
Of a man whose heart is true
Of a man who'd love me too
Tell me now, could it be you?
poem copyrighted by gem forever
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