martigore


martin4U Male Submissive, 39, SG/Malmo/London	martin Male Submissive, 52	martinbdsm Male Switch, 34, Bratislava

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	About martigore Always here to learn. In a committed relationship seeking friends in the lifestyle and potential female addition to my current dynamic. Hopeful to visit some fetish events soon again.

My husband and I are ready to be more active in the scene. Seeking couples in their late 40's to early 70's to show us the ropes as they say. The submissive wife screening, be nice and truthful.

In my current photo Sir and I made our second and best step out as a D/s couple. He put a large noose around my neck and I was His, without question or hesitation. That night made me realize just how natural being under His control really is. The first event was a Power Exchange conference, we were so new then though, I know I did not know what it meant to belong to Someone. Now, I have a better picture but I'm fairly certain there is more to understand. I guess that's what I've resolved to spend the rest of my private life understanding.

Life in the sad lane! Surely can you make you lose (or loose for those with vague recollection of chilhood grammar) your mind. I'm wiser than I was six hours ago mainly because of the gracious nature of a friend that spent invaluable time listening to my torment. I'm proud I let it out, gave me hope and strength.

Still working through my sadness. Dinner with a friend tonight surely will help, won't it?

I've fallen into an interesting but hard to handle depressive state the past two days. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since an early age but I swore to myself at 16 I would never medicate so I haven't. Looking back it was a fine decision. However, this level of deep fall is new to me and just not pleasant. Leaves me to think, what would happen if I had sub drop. Could that get dangerous? Oh, P.S. let me add, sceptical, critical thinking person with anxiety and depression. I feel like I got the spiked whip.

Still enjoying the summer emoji

I never imagined that I'd get a Daddy like mine, further I never ever imagined He would end up being the Love of my life. How did I get so lucky? How wonderful and exciting it is to finally live a full, complete life. Maybe more complete than some people get to ever realize. Anyway I'm not oblivious or ungrateful of the blessing that has been bestowed on me. I see it tangiably, when We have out precious time together I can feel the completeness of it, I sense the urge to protect it and nurture it.

Daddy and I have been having a wonderful summer. He's very talented with His hands, one of my favorite activities when I have downtime is hanging around His home, catching up on books or studying while watching Him work His magic around the house. In the evenings we cook, relax, enjoy each other. It's been pretty magical.

Anyone a latex bathing suit fan? Amazing to swim in.

Daddy's working late tonight, I guess it's me and Rose watching Youtube.

Waiting for Daddy to come home, even ten minutes past ETA and I worry. Sometimes, when I get home I don't take the time to dress and prep, even when I know I should. The other sub in me, the care taker wants to make sure the food prep is done, laundry is in, everything is clean.......I let that girl drive in hopes I've made a good decision. Not tonight though.

My hardest challenge with submission has been the realist in me. I'm a highly pragmatic individual, I was rarely a little girl even when I was little. My first time in Disneyland when I was 9 was a nightmare, I walked away calling it corporate bullshit and was pissed at my parents for pulling me out of spelling bee practice to go. So, when I read passages like, you will spend a lot of time kneeling, staring at the floor, it's hard to swallow. I've taken care of myself my whole adult life, I know I am ultimately responsible for myself. Idly staring at the floor for a busy and hungry woman, bound to a busy and hungry Man makes little sense.

I've been reading up on the D/s lifestyle, protocol and such. The text, while not obvious, does seem to be aimed at young people. I feel like I'm the new 13 year old immigrant child being sent to the third grade for reading lessons. Is the intent in my heart even in a place to take on some of the more rigid aspects? Would Sir appreciate that? Am I a trainable? Lol.

Being a true tortured sub, a tiny insect came to drink a tear from my cheek and I panicked "don't drink that! you'll die of alcohol poisoning!"

Sir bought me the most amazing stockings from Wolford. Good Man! The way they squeeze my hip fat and cheeks....sigh. It's two stockings BTW, you have to Jenga that shit together yo! Note to self: Stockings first, wine later. Being spoiled is complicated. P.S. The model on the package of the stockings was *much* thinner lol, hip fat was not a point of discussion.

Some of my best times with Sir are Saturday nights. Nights where we both break free early and the focus is laser thin. Him on me, me on Him. P.S. Sir purchased that corset. Such good taste.

Lol, I notice that the young boys always come in for the ass pic. I know, it's all the rage now. :D

A WEEK without Sir. He comes home tonight. This was a level of separation anxiety I've not experienced. We made it though. emoji

I'm almost 44 now and look at the profile pic (as of 4/20/17). You have to pick and choose where you fuck the establishment. It does not have to be all at once or dramatic but it needs to have your signature.

I learned something new today, lucky me. I learned that there is such a thing as an alpha submissive. So now I have validation, a label and a glass of wine. Ergo I'm hot shit now and everything, watch the hell out.

Yet again on another forum someone asked what I've learned this week. My answer was clear, that my judgement of what my Master deems as important in not always accurate. Learning the hard way, per usual.

Reading an odd little book but one statements made me smile, "the important thing is to love." Yeah, I'd agree with that.

On another forum, someone asked how old do you have to be before you can really be considered part of the lifestyle. I think it's highly individual. For me, I had to wait till my 40's. I established myself and my life as an individual before I could submit. Now, no matter what else, I can always pick myself up because I allowed myself time to become very strong. Others may not need that.

When I get what I want from my Sir that is a treat, when I need what I need from Him that is a life raft. Best as I can explain it.

Nice night at home, sipping rose, cooking mac n' cheese, listening to Jim Florentine, doing laundry.......shit that is a lot of crap.

Wartenberg wheel, it looks so innocent until it's grazing your freshly whipped ass or nipples. I never imagined that would be my least favorite tool. P.S. Mr. Wartenberg was kind of an asshole.

I've spent most of this past weekend getting my mind right with the help of my Sir. Have you ever held something so precious and very so nervous of dropping it that you actually fumble it? I'm working on not taking my gripper mitts off, no matter how hot they get.

I really got blessed with a balance of brains, common sense, humor and beauty. It's just that by the time I realized it society's beating down of my self-esteem as a woman was done. So I do the best that I can.

Charging my Clairsonic and sex toy BEFORE they run out of juice *adulting*

My last relationship lasted exactly the same amount of days as it took me to get through an 850 gumballs box. *cry* I posted that on a vanilla profile, someone actually responded, "I'd like to help you get that bigger box." Of course I proposed right away! Another stated, "I'd be willing to invest in a mega-size box." Size queen!

I saw someone online pose the question of, "To the subs, are you getting what you want from your Dom or what you need?" My answer came swift: "When I got what I wanted from my Dom, that was a treat! When I got what I needed from my Dom, that was a life raft."

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