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i am an on again off again personal ad browser.... truth be told, i have a short span of attention when left to my own devices.
i've been out of the scene for a while now. let's just say my priorities have been rather skewed.
still, i am an absolutist to the core...it is all or nothing for me. I am not a submissive. I am a slave. I don't want to feel submissive, I want to feel owned. Complete ownership with the absence of "community" acronyms and correctness - no safewords, limits or SSC. Yet, you are my best friend, my confidant. Laughter, love and adventure are not excluded from Mastery. You are a glass half-full, carpe diem kind of guy with a sadistic streak. You have not only known for some time who you are and what you want, but you know what to do with it. It isn't about kinky sex and the occasional rope work. It is mental, harsh and socially unacceptable.. To live without it is unimaginable. To live with it is divine.
I am not Barbie. My tummy isn't flat and my buns aren't made of steel.. I'm a rubenesque size 16. If you are a silicon man, move along. I do eat right (vegetarian), work out and am happy with who - and what - I am.
I am not a half seeking my other half. I am whole seeking my partner in perversion and delight.
i am very selective when it comes to responding to emails. the thing i really truly absolutely hate about alternative "dating" sites is that it seems to completely skip over the formalities of getting to know each other. by this, i mean my email is filled with sexual suggestions, commands, and what he will do to me. Has BDSM become a lifestyle that loses the prerequisite of friendly banter? i've started hanging out over on OKCupid where i can allude to my lifestyle and get an entirely different caliber of response. i really don't get it.... it makes it appear like us altie folks really are just sex fiends....
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folks, please....
dominate is a verb
dominant is a noun (and adjective) :)
there truly is a difference. |
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why is it that O/our, Me, My, Mine...and all those pronoun capitalization rules irritate me? |
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yet more......
i am not interested in an online only relationship.? i don't have a problem with distance if we can close the miles now and then. i'm awful at email and would like a few correspondences and then a "let's get together for a cup of coffee (or a weekend)".?
Perhaps i will add to this during my quest.? My philosophies, like anyone else's, are only made of clay that bends and shifts in form as i journey along these beautiful paths known as life. ?
please don't email with a quick intro or "tell me more..." i put a lot of time and a lot of me into these couple of pages and, in the very least, i expect the same of you if we are to communicate. i am not a snob, but i am quick with the delete key and do not have time to respond to monosyllabic grunts about kinky sex. ;)?Further, if you email me to tell me how well-hung you are with your 12 inches i am more likely to run from you than to you!? tell me what you are going to do to my mind...to my heart.
however, we know the physical is an important part of what it is we do. please be up front and open. i have. if you respond to this tell me what you need, what you want and put all your cards on the table too. nothing is more disappointing than spending hours corresponding to discover we really are not compatible. ask me anything, i will answer with honesty.
location is unimportant. i will travel the world for the right Master.... our choices are limited enough as it is, yes?
i have a very short little span of attention. Be real, i am...
In a real sense all life is inter-related.
All persons are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality,tied in a single garment of destiny.Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the inter-related structure of reality.
~Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
??? (and my favorite life quote) |
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what i seek....
i've been told many times, by many people, that my expectations are too high.... unreasonable...and impossible to find.? frankly, i don't care.? i would rather be alone than to settle (and i have, for quite some time). this is not to say i am inflexible and uncompromising, but there are some areas in which i will not bend.? perhaps i should start with these . . .
you can close this page now if:
**you are a hunter or dislike animals
**your online language consists of one letter in place of three letter words, like "u r" for "you are"
**the first picture you will send me will be one of your well-endowed anatomy
**the first email you send me will detail what you plan to do to my body (i want to know our minds are compatible first!)
**you are a screaming Republican (i'm a active Libertarian)
**higher education for you was above junior high school
**you think BDSM means kinky sex
**you are a pessimist
**you are under 35
**your medicine cabinet is full of anti-depressants
Still here?
sorry, but i believe in putting all my proverbial cards on the table...life is short.??
you are incredibly honest and have no hesitation to tell me what is on your mind, what you want, what you need and what you expect of me.
not only are you educated, but well versed in common sense.
you do not have an ego the size of Jupiter, yet you are self-confident and stable minded. you don't need to prove yourself to anyone, least of all me.
you have known you have a sadistic streak long enough to be comfortable with it. you know the difference between harming me and hurting me.
Dominance is not something you do - it is something you are. you have a strong desire to control and you know what to do with it.
if you enjoy travel and sailing, it is a big plus in my book. :) |
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my needs....
i cannot stress enough how mental BDSM is for me.? we all know how physical it is, so that goes without detail.? but it must extend beyond physical realms...? i need to know, to feel, where my place is at all times.? day-to-day life does not provide for the fantasy world of total slavery.? we have jobs, families and a society in which we must function as (blah) vanilla beings. this doesn't mean we forget who we are to each other....this doesn't mean the power and control slips away - it just becomes secret. we know, alone, with a look, a touch, or a whisper.? even punishment isn't always physical ...
i need a relationship in which there are no boundaries to this control...no limits.? this doesn't mean you decide everything for me, all the time....you hold respect for my independence, but you do have the final say.? it does mean that you are a controlling part of my everyday life.??
i need strictness and consistency, discipline and control.? you are not afraid to make me into what you want me to be, by whatever means you feel necessary to do so.? you do so out of caring and not selfishness. yet you know how to be selfish and self-indulgent and do not hesitate to be so. because if you deny yourself your desires and wants, be them ever so small or grand, you know that you are denying me the very thing i need to be for you.
If something is to give light, it must first endure burning.
i need sensitivity and kindness.? control isn't always cold. the same hands that can leave marks of punishment can gently caress those marks; the same lips that can speak harshly, can whisper lovingly.
i need someone with whom i can laugh and share...someone who is not afraid to expose his own vulnerabilities and his own passions.??be my best friend, my lover, my Master... my world.
i need love and i long to love. romance, flowers, poetry and candlelight are not excluded in Mastery.
i guess, in being completely honest here, i should warn you that i am not exactly your textbook, fantasy slave (but who is?). i can be feisty, stubborn and rather opinionated.?? |
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on BDSM....
first let me say that you won't impress me with your preaching of safe, sane and consensual. SSC is reserved for casual play (something i rarely do). in a relationship....the moment i surrender SSC goes out the window with safewords. safe can be boring, there is little sane about this thing that we do and consensual ends with surrender.
As for the aspects of BDSM...briefly. (more on my needs section)
Bondage can be a truly beautiful art form. However, there isn't an art form more beautiful than mental bondage. Would you rather me not move because i cannot, or not move simply because you told me not to?
Discipline is something i feel i need, not because i am disobedient or even testy. i will not go through the motions of testing someone to see if he will punish me. i am not a SAM. If i need pain i will ask for it, not misbehave to receive it. However, i long for a man who is stronger than i am strong willed. i also need a Master who knows there is more to punishment than whips. For far too many years my southern charm, sweet smile and batting eyelashes have let me wrap men around my finger. That grows boring rather quickly and i need more.
Sado-masochism is extreme eroticism. Often i hear submissives ranting about "subspace". i don't understand how a sadist can enjoy sending her there, or how she can truly be submissive if she floats off to another world in selfish indulgence. There isn't any giving in that, only the taking of pain for her own enjoyment. Being allowed the high of "subspace" is enjoyable, but it is a reward. There is a time and place for each, and that decision should be made by the Master.??
At the same time, i won't deny that i am an adrenaline junkie, but i am not a pain slut by any means.? i can take or leave play depending upon the wish of my Master.? i am rather drawn to the darkness and the edge...
i am drawn to sadism, and in this dance my partner must sing the song of sadism. |
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my ideas.....
i believe there are major differences between the terms submissive and slave, just as i do the terms Master and Dominant. i detest "submissive" for myself. i am not submissive by nature, but am fairly aggressive in most areas of my life. i am not submissive to every man or woman claiming to be Dominant, but only to the one whom i choose to surrender - to him i am slave in all areas of life. few men can assume that challenge without needing a robot.
Physically i am 5'5 and about 145 pounds. i have been told my body is a Boticelli. i have deep auburn hair that falls to mid back. My eyes? range from deep to sky blue depending upon what my soul is reflecting. i drink on occasion (i do adore a good red wine).?
i have a deep weakness for silk and lace, poetry and music, erotic art, and the warm scent of leather. a dear friend has said that i am "sandalwood, sensuality silk, smiles and silver bells".? :)
i am not materialistic - you can seduce me with words much easier than with diamonds. i don't care about how much money you make or the important job that you hold. We really need few material things to be happy in life. i care so much more about how wealthy your heart is - how rich your mind is.
i enjoy theater, opera, literature, lazy Sunday mornings, exploring museums and thunderstorms.? i tend to bond better with animals than with people.? ;)
i feel a D/s relationship based on trust, respect, devoted obedience, loving discipline, a delicate balance of BDSM, and a touch of formality form the most beautiful Yin Yang possible. However, i wonder if all we need and desire is possible. It isn't difficult for any slave to find a man who will accept her submission, but is rarer to find one to accept her surrender and know what to do with it - to nurture and care for it. i could easily find a man who will use me hard without regard. i could easily find a man who will love me tenderly. it is the mix that is truly perfect....
i do not believe submission/surrender is a "gift" and grow weary of hearing how it is. i do believe that true Mastery is a gift more valuable than the air which i breathe. |
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| Age: 27 |
| San Diego,
California |
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