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About MaahesduVallon
Hello inhabitants of Collar Me. Welcome to my little corner of the universe. #### My main intention with regard to this site and my profile is to foster intellectual dialogue with other like-minded individuals about this lifestyle, and any other topics I find of interest. Both Dom and sub of either sex are welcome to reach out to me if the urge strikes you. I ask that you simply be courteous when doing so. When time permits I will spend my time on the message boards or seeking out others that piqued my interest through their profiles. #### In an effort to be informative and also selfishly reduce the volume of similar questions I have to answer I will list some of the basics below. None of this is intended to proselytize my own opinions nor denigrate the way others may conduct themselves. It is only insight into how I personally approach this lifestyle. Anyone in this lifestyle certainly should have an open mind to other points of view. Does that mean that I don't think some individuals are just bat shit crazy? Absolutely not, however I'm always willing to listen and possibly entertain myself with discussions on bat shit crazy topics. So with that said read further at your own peril. Constructive comments or discussion is always welcome. Vitriolic asshole comments will be sent to the trash heap, and I will wear a smile on my face as I press delete. I also don't accept (nor request) "friend" requests so please don't ask. My friends know who they are and don't require a public proclamation. #### Who am I: I am a STRAIGHT MALE DOMINANT and go by the name of Maahes du Vallon. This name has personal significance to myself and those that I interact very closely with. I'm certain with a little time and using the mighty power of Google those who have an inordinate amount of time (read: no life) could figure some of it out. But really, why bother. I have over 20 years of experience with BDSM and the D/s, M/s lifestyle. However, I have not been an open interactive participant in the community choosing rather to keep my activities private. Other than my participation on the web I still mainly keep it that way with occasional exceptions. Although I am master over those who submit to me, I do not claim to be one outside of that dynamic. If someone wishes to bestow that title to me because of my experience or other reasons that is fine, but it's not something I seek nor require. I find it a bit presumptuous to self-anoint oneself a title in a public forum. In my case it is a title solely reserved for those very few that have earned the honor of calling me that because in their case the title is entirely accurate. #### Philosophy towards dominance: dominance does not equal malevolent tyrant. It also does not mean you know everything. Quite the contrary a good dominant should have the same traits as any good leader and even learn from their subordinants. The person who thinks they know everything has the most to learn. To be dominant does not mean to be flawless. Compassion, empathy, nurture, education, good listening skills and patience should all be in the tool bag. They will not be solely focused on how much they can extract from their sub, but rather investing vast amounts of time into them to bring out their best to reach your mutual desired goals. Like any precious asset, you nurture it, not starve it. And if you've chosen wisely you will receive multiple times your investment in return. I believe in clear structure and being firm but fair. I believe in setting aggressive yet realistic unambiguous expectations. I believe in providing an environment where my sub has meaningful objectives that fosters a true sense of purpose. I've been referred to as a "loving Dom". My form of dominance is a calm reasoned approach. Raising my voice should never need to be an option. Negative reinforcement is certainly an option, but positive reinforcement is vastly prefered. To me a dominant is one that commands and brings his sub to her knees with just a whisper, because she is compelled to because of her devotion and trust. Anyone can bring a sub to their knees out of fear and risk of reprisal, but that is a much lower level of control and dominance. To dominate through fear alone is very basic and can be done by most anyone who has a captive audience. Anyone can make a demand, but if the demand is answered under duress alone then the submission isn't necessarily real. To dominate because you have captured the passion and desire of your sub where they will gladly follow you to the ends of the earth with just a glance is what I covet. Punishment is certainly an option in my Den, but it is rarely administered due to unwavering compliance. As the often repeated quote goes...."A mediocre master tells, a good master teaches, an excellent master explains, but a true master inspires." I always strive to inspire. Even though I've elaborated on how I treat my style of dominance, I really don't believe how one practices their individual BDSM lifestyle matters that much. There are an endless amount of flavors to choose from. What I believe is important are the values that many attribute to the so-called "old guard", but are really just principles that are ageless: exhibiting good manners and courtesies, being honest...always, being loyal, being reliable, being generous, being respectful and having the utmost integrity and honor. And the mental, emotional and physical safety of your sub above all else....even over your own desires, is paramount. And certainly depending on your relationship, love your sub. But whether you love your sub or not, care enough about them to give them what they need. Note that I said need not want. And in my opinion have a very healthy sense of humor. Far too many take this way to seriously and forget to have fun. To me this lifestyle is no different than vanilla, except we are more open with our sexual proclivities, and we have a much clearer vision of who we are. Although a Dom may own the very essence of their sub and control their every activity, they must always remember to be humble to the fact that their sub chose them as much as they chose their sub. In that regard I hold my sub in an ultimate state of reverence, and place her upon a pedestal, for she has given me all that she is and that alone commands my respect. Many Doms may disagree with some of my philosophy which is fine. All I can say is this style and methodology works well for me and I can't imagine dominance any other way. #### Philosophy towards submission: In my opinion submission is one of the most beautiful gifts that may be bestowed upon a person. I know not everyone ascribes to this philosophy. However, it is my opinion that my dominance is also my gift to my submissive. It is symbiotic. Dominance and submission feed one another. I personally find no satisfaction in dominating someone with no mind of their own, or no wherewithal to know what a prudent choice is. Some may seek mindless drones that wander the earth with blinders on. To each their own, however, I desire a submissive that is quite competent and capable if left to their own devices. She should have that drive that motivates productive people. And she should have the desire to use her mind for all forms of positive purposes. However, even though she possesses such traits, she should also have a burning desire to relinquish all of that and more to her master, and crave his dominance and direction above all else. She should be mentally and emotionally strong, but eager to bestow all of that and more to her Dom upon his command. In today's vanilla world submissiveness equates to weakness. In my opinion it takes a very strong person to go against the societal grain by embracing their submissive nature and dedicate their life to another. It's brave because it goes against modern societal norms. And it's admirable because it takes more of a leap of faith than those in standard vanilla relationships. Submissive does not mean passive. I need a strong versatile sub, but one who craves to relinquish it all to her master. A sub shouldn't need to be coerced, blackmailed or forced into submission. It is ultimately their choice who to submit to. And they should choose to submit to the one who has earned the right to be their owner. And in turn they have earned the honor of their Dom's collar and receiving his dominance. Submission is not an emotion that must be manufactured artificially. It lives within the heart and soul of the submissive. She knows it is always there and that she cannot live life fully without it. Submission is not a state of misery, but the place where she is most happy and at peace. Absolute obedience and service to her master fulfills her nature and completes her. #### Philosophy of dominance and sex: Sex is certainly a wonderful thing when combined within a D/s relationship. However, in my opinion the two are mutually exclusive. They certainly can feed one another very well, but they may exist completely separately. Sex is but one way to leverage your dominance over another. I personally believe that when entering into a relationship of this type sex should never be the first thing discussed nor the key foundation. Seduction is certainly a necessary component, however there are many methods of seduction that do not include a physical component. The vast majority of dominance is mental which if done properly allows the physical component to become almost effortless. I think this is the biggest element lost on the "players" or young dominants that don't yet have the maturity to appreciate this aspect. Get to know the person first, not what their limits are. There is plenty of time for that later. But on that note, yes I believe in clearly outlining limits and desires and respecting them. Trust, honesty and open communication without the fear of reprisal and humiliation is key. However, like anything else in life I believe limits are meant to be gradually pushed. You don't grow and experience new things and sensations if you are not constantly striving for something more. And hopefully most reading this realize that the last sentence wasn't referring to just sex. Sex is temporary, something you can engage in for given periods of time. But a good D/s relationship can be a wonderful 24/7/365 experience if the foundation is strong and based on the individuals, not just their kink. |
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