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It amazes me how subspace manifests itself differently every time I play. In hindsight, I realize that I went into subspace my very first flogging but it has taken me years to realize it.I drove home mildly intoxicated and got lost on the way home.I never experienced any sort of sub drop.
Later while playing with my husband and another lifestyle friend I began to go into uncontrollable laughter over things I really should not have been laughing at.
New and more vicious toys bring on changes in me.I went through a period of cathartic sobbing for a while when my husband purchased a dragon's tongue. I feel I probably had a lot of tears which needed to come out. I used to have crying sessions before which would leave me with a headache but there are never any headaches after cathartic tears for me.
Perhaps it is the presence of my Dom friend which brings on the hysterical laughter or maybe it is another new toy.He had borrowed a Domme friend's mop at a party.I call it a mop because I don't know what else to call it. It is deceiving because the tails are made of a soft suede and can be used for a light flogging or with some force behind it can deliver a terrible sting.This time I was back to the hysterical laughter about the sexy piece of fetish wear another guest had been wearing under her nun's habit. I was so out of control of the things that were coming out of my mouth and I felt as though the whole room was part of my scene.
Another time I was scening and as I began to go under I had the feeling of being an all powerful being which frightened me a great deal because I do not feel that is my station in life. It wasn't until I read Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Eastman and Janet Hardy that I recognised similar responses in others and began to feel ok with it.
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