luvsmasks1

Male Submissive, 48, Buffalo, New York

Male Dominant, 33, Montreal

today the anxiety is less troublesome for me, thank you to the one who gave me advice of what to read... i thank anyone who takes the time to write and offer help, it makes me feel not so lonley when i am convinced i am... i am taking a few days off from work to feel better, i will go back thursday, i was brought up to never miss a day of work unless i am dying (ha ha). glad i have the strong work ethic but this week i need to give myself a break and not feel guilty for taking care of me...i love and cherish the hopeful moments, they are most precious in my dark days. i have had bouts of depression all my life, was on meds for the last 10 years, last few months no meds, tired of different doctors trying this pill and that pill... here latley though, i must admit that i would like an anxiety med again, that is my biggest issue now. my heart pounds if i start thinking about the most mundane stuff. i need to learn some breathing exersisce...

i am so ready to leave today, but i will wait a week to see if i can improve, i owe myself that. i wonder if this feeling will ever go away? hope it does because i want to stay here.i don't wish to go, want to get quiet inside my head so i can be o.k today and from now on.i have a lonley night ahead of me and i will be glad when it is over...

why is life so much easier afier a few drinks? the breeze isn't quite cool enough for my taste tonight, wishing for the night to send fresh cold air in to me as i type my thoughts tonight in my too warm pale peach bath robe.why am i so possesive with my loved ones? does anyone out their have this problem? what do you do to fix it? i wish i could find an answer...?

i recieved an easter basket and have a tummy ache because i ate too many reeses eggs. i just couldn't help it though. all i asked for was 1 chocolate bunny, i got that and lots more. i was so excited since i haven't got a basket since i was a little girl. i am loved...

i hate nights when the poundind heart that beats inside won't calm itself, what to do to make it relax? i just don't know anymore.?

very nervous today as i had strong black coffe for breakfast and then some now, can't help it i just want coffe today. i don't like the jittery feeling though, wow, another freezing cold night. i love it. maybe it's because of the summers we have, long thick humidity, heat that sticks to you as you walk out of the house...uugh. i know it will be here before long...swimming and the beach are what i love about summer, fishing too. tonight even the coffe isn't warming me , need to put on a sweater...

pieces of a heart... fragments of a soul, all taken in at once...never staying still, tarnished reflections in the old silver graying with the night...won't someone come my way to save me from my fright? hanging by a thread, dangling over-board, set the sail right keeping straight ahead...then the calm will come unexpectedly with the breeze, black clouds puff away to a new and brighter day... so set the sail straight, follow the breeze- pick up the slack and speed through the sea. storm clouds never last, they cast shadows and frighten... but somehow, the beautiful blue skies will allways return to enlighten...

today is so very spring as the dogwoods on my street are in full bloom, i see bees and buterflies fluttering all around. i am hopeful on this day, as i feel i have made connections here with some of you. how great to know whatever i am going through i will get feedback and advice. just to let go today and be worry free now, here in this moment feels so good. fears and trouble usually envelope me in my mind, but today spring has won, and so i sit here in a good place... letting go and feeling good.

a muggy night as i sit here staring at the electric glow of my monitor, hoping someone will read these words and relate, someone i may never meet but someone who will understand what it feels like to be lonley even when there are others around, even when life keeps moving busily along there is still the empty space that nothing seems to fill quite enough.young, healthy, everything to live for, that's what they say isn't it? then why is the night so vast and hollow??

i am so thankful to know i am not alone here in this world tonight. this is a time of transition which is scary but somehow i feel it is nessasary inorder for me to flourish as an individule. so here i go to a new and exciting chapter.i have waited long for this time of change, now i must relax and allow it to over take me...

i have a chance to begin a career in art, my passion in life, i am nervous and scared as this oppurtunity fell into my lap. i thought it was too late to do what i want with my life, i had given up...now i feel alive on this cool spring night, like nothing is impossible anymore. maybe i will get to be the person i was meant to be after all...

today is better. i have made ammends with one i adore... hope all who takes the time to respond to my sad moments knows how i am touched, maybe i am not alone after all, i feel a bond with this site, like i am home. all who are here are being their true selves and that is most important in this world.

i wonder if this day will be better than the last. i can only hope maybe it will...

i feel sad today as i have hurt someone that i love...can not sleep tonight...don't deserve it now that i hurt my friend...so much i would love to turn back time but it wont move...it breaks my heart don't know if i will be here much longer

i hope to hear all about this wonderful world as i feel it is my? possible life's calling. i wish to please in every way. i love to give pleasure and sit at the feet of the one that i admire. i wish to learn the ways of this world. i have never been out of my state. there is so much i wish to learn about places and things. i yearn to be taught about life.

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