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luvnchains

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Friends:
luvnssubIronworker71

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Taking a hiatus

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3/21/2012 3:45:42 AM

Ever wonder why you send me an email and I don't answer?

Think I'm being rude?  Think again.

 

The reason  you are not getting a reply is because you failed to do a very simple thing:  READ MY PROFILE.

 

READ IT!  All the way down to the bottom.

 

You identify as a submissive/slave?  How can you possibly think I could begin to believe you would like to be MY submissive or slave if you cannot even bother to read about me?  If you can't follow the simple instruction, READ MY PROFILE, how good a submissive or slave could you possibly be?


2/15/2012 6:55:41 AM

Reasons why you might not want me for your Dominant.

 

I wrote this on over a year ago, it still has pertinence today.

If you are looking for a real life D/s type relationship with me, this is a MUST read for you.

 

Lately events in my life have made me re-think and decide to write down what traits I find not so desirable in a sub/slave or any type of D/s relationship that I am engaged in, for that matter.


This is not a list for everyone, it's my personal list, it's the things make me choose to no longer engage with the sub/slave in a person that I (personally) am in a D/s type relationship with.

 

 

I have decided to write it with tongue in cheek, but I think those who are intelligent enough will get the gist that these behaviors are just unacceptable from someone who is going to be in a D/s relationship with me:-

 

 

 

If you hand me a paper and pen so I can write down your day to day tasks - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you saw me yesterday and I told you I was busy the rest of the week and your first contact with me the next day is "can I see you today?" - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you are told I don't like pottery as a gift, but I would like some Tupperware, and you bring me pottery "because YOU wanted to bring me pottery" - You might want to look else where.

 

 

 

If you need to be told do the dishes, when there is a sink full of dishes more than one time - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you ask what you can do for me and I say Laundry, and you just laugh - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you get hurt feelings that I would want to help you get a job, but think that it's OK for Me to spend My money on you - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that TELLING me to read the daily journal that you took it upon yourself to create for ME to read every day, so I know how you are feeling about stuff is a good idea - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think bringing all the toys your Prior Mistress bought for you to my house for me to use on you is a nice gesture towards me - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that offering to give me a certain present then never making any effort give it to me, is a good idea - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think you can call me Mistress ( or any name that implies our D/s relationship)in any setting and then behave like you are JUST a friend - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that you are entitled to criticize or have any right to verbally bash, or comment on the behavior of any other sub/slave I might be in a relationship with - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that DEMANDING anything while you are in a D/s relationship with me is a good way of getting what you want - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that attempting to get your way through manipulation is going to bring our D/s relationship closer - You might want to look else where.

 

If you think that giving me an ultimatum will scare me into doing things your way - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that I am not a Dominant and have never had a D/s relationship because the way I am doesn't match with your internet experience - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that an internet relationship is comparable to a real life D/s situation - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think you really are a "no limits slave" and then have the nerve to get upset at me about ANYTHING - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that you are a "true" slave but are only willing to do things your way - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that it's OK to exhibit any jealousy towards my primary relationship or my friends or family, because you don't think I am spending enough time with you - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that tears, pouting, whining, whinging, or stomping your foot is going to make me respect you more - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that it's OK to talk to an Ex-Mistress about our relationship with out FIRST talking to me about it - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that defending your bad behavior when I have reprimanded you for it, is a smart thing to do - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that the words "I am sorry you (felt, feel, see it, etc) that way" is an apology - You might want to look else where

 

 

If you feel the need to gossip about what other people said at a private function, especially with the intent of causing drama - You might want to look else where.

If you are going to be disappointed that I am dressed in a t-shirt and jeans when you are coming to visit - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that TELLING me I HAVE to do something ( unless I ask you to remind me to do something) will get me to do it? - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that passive aggressive behavior is something I enjoy being around - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that a Dominant should never do anything that they don't particularly get off on, as a nice gesture to their "s" type person - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that the words "in a minute" or I'll do it later" are acceptable when I ask you to do something - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that "hinting" that you wish I could be more like your last Dominant, is a good idea - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that just because I am a reasonable and giving person that you can behave like an asshole and I won't hold it against you - You might want to look elsewhere.

 

 

If you think that just because I talk to you and am interested in what you say, that I want to play with you - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that eating pussy is a prerequisite of being a good sub/slave - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that you can just not show up when I have made time for you - You might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think you are submissive ONLY because you like to be taken with a strap on - you might want to look else where.

 

 

If you think that you can TURN me into your little submissive play toy- you might want to look else where.

 



If you think that you can YELL at me and that I will accept that as a form of communication from you-you might want to look else where.

 



If you think that you can tell me that you didn't do something when I can prove you did ( and believe me I will have proof) - you might want to look else where.

 


If you think that I will tolerate repeatedly bad behaviour - you might want to look else where.

 

 

If you tell me you are going to do something for me and then keep putting it off - you might want to look else were.

 

 

I'll add more as they come to me.


1/23/2012 8:53:46 AM

Dominant women:  We are more than just the kinky stuff

 

I think for most people, especially men, they start out in bdsm because they are attracted to the sexual aspects of it. Eventually they go away, or they learn that it's not all about sex.

Sex is a tiny portion of something grander, larger. The sexual kink is something that grabs their attention, but it's the ones that can see past the kink to the actuality of a D/s relationship that get to live the lifestyle!

Most of the happy submissive/slave men that I know have been in the lifestyle for over 10 years. They have gained the knowledge that is crucial to finding that happiness.

Eventually they understand that a D/s relationship is sort of like buying a Dodge Truck for the Hemi in it.

You don't just get the Hemi, you get the whole Dodge Truck!

IF you are just looking fr a Hemi engine, you can buy them here and there, but they don't work independent of all of the other parts that make a vehicle. And a brand new shiny Hemi sitting in your garage, doesn't give you what you were looking for and what attracted you to the Hemi in the first place!

You need a vehicle to put it in for it to work! And have it hooked up to the fuel, cooling, electrical, etc. systems. Most of all you need to have the understanding that, all of the systems need to be cared for or the Hemi engine...well it just stops working or works poorly.

Now if you equate that thinking with dominant women, that their kink is not independent of the whole package, that's when you start to really be able to offer what most dominant women see as "real" submission.

It seems to me that most novices and newbies, want the "Hemi", with out the truck. Sadly it takes a while before they finally grasp that no matter what you pay for the "Hemi" it's just a shiny chunk of engine sitting on the floor of the garage, unless there is a vehicle for it to run.

It's pretty to look at, to imagine it being used to do all sorts of things. But alas all it is, is a fantasy.

Dominant women, they are the whole package, with the "Hemi" (dominant female sexuality) that is only part of many systems that drive the "Truck" ( dominant woman).

You have to make sure that all of the systems are in working order, that you have put the fuel in, that the oil is clean and full, the cooling fluids are at the correct levels, the electrical system is without faults, etc. before you open the door and try to start the engine. And you have to keep maintaining them, if you want to keep the engine in good working order.

If you are not willing to put the work into it, to make sure that every system is taken care of, then really you can't expect it to work.

Dominant women ( for the most part) are women first. They are not ONLY their kink.
Taking care to make sure that all of her needs are addressed ( not only the kinky ones).

~Chains

 

You can find this article and more in my group"how to attract a dominant woman-101 on


7/19/2010 6:58:21 AM
I didn't get to go to Tease this year, it just wasn't in the cards..
But as chance has it 2 nights at Forbidden 3 is!  (YAY MUCH)
I am so excited to be trying out this new camping venue, and with friends too!
I'm so looking forward to seeing many people I haven't seen in 2 years!
Luv ya's see you at Forbidden :)

4/17/2010 1:47:49 PM
DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY PROFILE FIRST!


I will not answer you  and the BEST you can hope is that your idiot email doesn't end up on my wall of shame.

I am sick and tired of you men who THINK you are submissive because you like something shoved up your ass, sending me stupid messages.
 When CLEARLY your oh so "submissive" soul couldn't even take the time to read the few IMPORTANT things you should know about me on my profile!

So if you are one of those men...Go fly a kite, stick something rather sharp and pointy up your ass or do what ever your freaking kink is,
DO NOT BOTHER ME!

~Sincerely

Luvnchains.


4/3/2010 6:22:19 AM

Stupid Letters.

 

From:
XXXX

   Dated:  

5/5/11 2:25 PM



hello Mistress can i be your slave ? i am begging you to give me one chance pleeeeeeeeez i am a very good slave and i obey order very well i know that you don't believe in toilet slave but trust me i can be your toilet i am a good Dog and i can do everything and anything to make you feel happy i am not just a slave who makes foot worship and .... ect i am a good servent Mistress , if you accepted me then you will have a good Doggie who will clean your house , do your breakfast , dinner , clean your shoes by licking them , wash your clothes , ... ect you can ride me to move from room to other becoz you are a Queen and you don't have to walk , i will be your Donkey , when you feel angry you can kick me and hit me and humiliate me to take your anger out and about the toilet thing i want to tell you that you will like it Mistress let me ask you something Mistress : if you are watching a movie and you want to pee , dont you hate it when you have to miss parts from the movie ? but with me you don't have coz i will be your toilet so you can pee and shit in my mouth while you are watching the movie your Dog XXXX



Tuesday June 1st 2010

Looking at your pic... By my computer's calculations, at your specific height and bone

structure, you really should be closer to 337 lbs and 10% body fat. I haven't upgraded to

Windows 7 though, so my figures could be wrong. Also, I live in a non-existent World where

Zamfir, master of the Pan Flute, plays in a metal band.

Can you walk on me?

Saturday May 24 2010

Hi Miss Roses are red violets are blue my rod is hard and I'm longing (10 inches long haha) to serve you. Okay so I'm pretty straight forward kind of guy but I hope you liked my little poem I wrote for you.LOL I saw your profile and I couldn't help myself but to email you. You’re the only Lady on here that I actually wanted to send a message to. I think it may be safe to say were probably here for the same reason. How long can I go? You know in the sack? All night, smiles. Is that's what you’re looking for. I’m not one of those minute men. Okay so perhaps I am getting a little ahead of myself…LOL I'm interested so please let me know what you have going on and if we could possible make something happen. Perhaps we can give us a test run and see what we got; you know meet up somewhere and chat? I'm a very open guy. Hope I don't scare you away and you get back to me. sxxxxx


Tuesday May 18, 2010

I have been out of control and called my wife a cunt last week a few times and she want me to be punished and want to see the results of the punishment or I not getting anything for a long long time.
I want to come to you and be strapped down so that I cant move a inch and I have an envelope she gave me I thing it says 100 or 150 strokes not sure, once I strapped down
securely so that I can't move or escape I would like you to open the note and then cane me judically that many time as hard and as fast as you can without stopping. this is not a fetish this is a real and true punishment I won't be able to stop you and I will have to endure the whole 150 canes, I am sure by the end I will be crying, sobbing and bleeding with deep welts, but this is what my bad mouth has got me can you help



Friday May 14 2010

you have anger issues..




Wednesday April 28th 2010


Your Very Yummy Indeed .. I WANT TO ROCK YOUR WORLD ..i can do all you seek and more i was trained as both the best of both worlds here ...please give me the Honor of perusing you....i can do all your Fancy's and Fetishes and take you to total Bliss i assure you ! been in the L/s for over 20 years now and trained as both so lets have some sessions and get to know each other OK? simply add me to >> *********@yahoo.com

to see my live cam and voice :) Master ******* ///   :) please read my Profile and Pictures ! ty

Tuesday April 27th 2010

Hello. Im a slave. Real time or virtual.

Can i serve you Mistress? You can abuse me.. i have toys and webcam. ( belt, candle, clamps, rope, dildo, dick ring, baseball bat )

I agree with ---> poney play,strapon play,role play,nipple play,whipped ass and face,bondage,
balls slaped and dick with belt,wax play,abused,dominated,humiliated
spit on face and mouth,fisting,cum drink,doggy play

my yahoo id is: ****************@yahoo.com
If you want u can add me please.

Im also ready for a real time if u can travel here in Romania( in Europe ). Thanks,

Sunday April 25th 2010

Hi my name is ****** I just turned 32. I am tall 6'3 athletic and tanned but I am also very submissive. I have a fear of putting my picture in a profile here incase someone I know comes across it oneday. I was wondering if you would get any amusement out of having access to my profile to add a few pics of me that would be embarrassing and then changing the password? I actually dont think I will enjoy this very much but it would really show me what helpless feels like. I do have pics of myself(normal)and will send you one immediately if you feel like chatting at all.

Sunday April 18th 2010

Respected Mistress,

i am looking for a position as a domestic slave servant i am sincere and obedient i will do all domestic cleaning jobs and also i am experienced in pedicure foot care etc...... i will obey all orders from my owner and their family..... kindly reply to me....... or add me to messenger

*******@yahoo.com OR *******@hotmail.com for more details......

if you are interested Kindly interweave me i am online now i am ready to relocate for a real Mistress, Master and a family

Obediently and Sincerely
****** *****

I AM FOR REAL LIFE MISTRESS, MASTER OR FOR A FAMILY REALLY LOOKING FOR A REAL LIFE SLAVE SERVANT FOR DOMESTIC USE

if you are searching for a good job- Qatar is a oil rich country and number one in per capital income - i can help you out also.....




Saturday April 17th 2010 

Hi mistress, I am an online slave please own me


Tuesday April 13th 2010

omg that guys dick has a wart on it, diseased u are now lmao

im posting that for sure

(an asshole from Chatham,Ontario)



It's Saturday morning and as I go through my messages, I am astounded at the number of "submissives" that haven't the first clue of how to write to a Dominant.  
                                                                                   
I have decided to show all the stupid letters that I get, and although I should supply names I will take the high road and hide the name of the writer. 
                                                                                  
Some letters will be short and some long with a cometary [my comments in RED] from me as to why they ended up on the wall of shame.  
Also the latest letter will be posted to the beginning of this journal.
Let the WALL of SHAME begin!



                                      
 Saturday April 3 2010                                                                                                                          
  hi my nome is *** [no time taken to proof read]i'm a 39 years old submisivelooking for dominant lady to serve i live in *********
 but can travel to sarnia it's only two hours drive i'm very obidient love to be on my four
s at ledy feet like cbt humiliation exhibitionism french made a slut ann think you think of
f i'll be for you and do also  like to be forced to suck a cock while mistrss is waching [didn't read my profile
and this I a huge DO-Me sub, clearly!]
please let me know if your interested thanks *** [Sooo NOT interested! Oh yeah and there was a pic of his hair beer belly attached!]                                                              
                      
                                                                   
"hello!...very real, nice, sincere here...i share Your interests and outlook,[There is no way this person even looked at my profile, so much for: real, nice or sincere] look forward to knowing You very well...i offer You the ideal blend of sincerity, civility, sensuality, (and humor!), much much more...i have all-good background details...it's important to me that You become fully comfortable that You know me well...please add me to Your
yahoo messenger, it's so much more conducive to free-flowing conversation there...i'm very confident that, when You have my full information, You'll be very pleased with me...*****, 59, st. louis (very nice city, very nice neighborhood!),
widower...i have 4 years of loving, informal, voluntary, submissive/bdsm experience...i'm attaching my pic here for You...thank You...***** on yahoo messenger."  [Clearly this person is spamming dominants]                                     

Friday April 2, 2010                                                

do you msn as well Gorgeous?  ********@hotmail.com

talk soon
[Why would I want to give my messenger
 information to some one who addresses
 me like they are trying to pick me up at a
 bar?]                                                                 


excuse me Miss, but i ask You to please let me know if You have any use/interest in a whore to abuse online (and R.L if possible!)[this one is from Connecticut, did he READ my profile, I think NOT] ... im ready to please as best i can :) ... i hope all is well with You :)[why should I think this one would please anyone, since he obviously can't make the effort to read a profile, another Domme spammer]


3/29/2010 2:06:57 PM
Ohhh what a night...
The play party was a fantastic time.  So many wonderful people and Sooo much latex and leather....
I had the best time!

3/24/2010 1:30:56 PM
Ohhhh, suddenly my calander is clear...I am and will be attending

Dungeon Divas Play Party 2

In Hamilton Ontario..Yay!
looks like it is going to be a very fun time..
Soooooo....now that I don't do coffee any more, good place to meet me,  if you are up for it.


2/11/2010 6:47:48 AM
YOU are a Kinkster NOT a submissive or slave: 
   

If your idea of SERVICE to ME involves:   

Objectification, bondage, cbt, assplay, spanking, flogging,  anything at all to do with sex, ( unless you are Johnny Depp) being forced to do ANY thing, having to anything dressed in a certain way  or touching me in Any way! 

If your idea of service does not serve to make my life better in some way, it is not service to me! ( and thank you:  you I can get sex when ever I feel like it, how ever I feel like it so don't offer it unless you are Johnny Depp )

If your idea of a starter email, involves listing what you want me to do to you, is sexually suggestive, has the word ass, lick, tongue or strap-on in it...  You are a kinkster not submissive or slave.  Do not confuse the 2 as you are wasting your time and mine.

If you think you are above, washing MY dishes, cleaning my car, gardening, cooking, or  performing any other mundane task that will free up MY time to play. You are a kinkster not a submissive or slave.

If you think being a submissive/slave only involves BDSM play, you are a kinkster, not a submissive or slave.

There is nothing wrong with being a kinkster.  Be one have fun! But do not attempt to put yourself in the same category as a submissive or slave.   I do understand that there is no kinkster listing here on CM, so with that in mind, please do not bother contacting me if you are a kinkster with the idea that I want to play with someone with your attitude, it just won't happen.

Sincerely

~Chains.


1/15/2010 12:18:27 PM
Submissive men are beautiful.

In my eyes there is nothing more beautiful and compelling than a ordinarily strong, virile, capable man, sitting at my feet and staring into my eyes with adoration, waiting for a command.
There is something incredibly sexy and thrilling when a man trusts you with everything that he is, and gives it to you freely.

!!!I love submissive men!!!!
(slaves included)
:)

12/31/2009 12:36:34 AM
I wish you all a very Happy new year.


12/10/2009 4:02:32 PM
Xmas is just around the corner,  the t-shirts says...
Hey Santa I maybe bad, but I am good at it.

That is sooooo true!

11/28/2009 9:03:06 AM

The Sub Search Song:

I've looked all around for a good sub to collar.    


I'm getting frustrated and wanting to holler,    


my profile is finished I can't find a fault    


what the heck was I thinking, I put it on   

ALT.  


My mail box was full there, most every day

“i need a good Domme” they all started that way

“If you do all the things that I want you to do,

then Mistress dear Mistress, this sub is for you!”


I've looked all around for a good sub to collar

I'm getting frustrated and wanting to holler

I searched all the net and found a place “free”

My profile went up on the site “Collarme”

My picture got noticed and mail came my way

I looked at my letters, most every day

Frustration abounded, and gave me the hoots

Every day I got letters, “Oh! I love your boots”


I've looked all around for a good sub to collar

I'm getting frustrated and wanting to holler

I took me a chance, gave into a hunch

decided to give it a try at a munch

All the subs were all spoken for when I went

Though it really was fun, I did hear this Lament

I've looked all around for just one decent submissive

I really surprised how frustrating that this is.


Perhaps we were taking something quite wrong

so I started to write my sub searching song

The thoughts that I have are really quite scary

I looked up submissive in the dictionary

No where did it say demanding, requiring

bossy or lazy or even desiring!

I came to conclusions, I figure  it`s this.......

Instead of submissive they all read submit!                                         


 



Yes I am the author of this little ditty, please do not copy or replicate it without my permission


11/18/2009 1:34:19 PM
About my friends:
If you are on my fiends list, it is because I have talked to you and maybe met you in real life.  And I LIKED you.  So when you sent a friendship request I gladly accepted it.
However I Will not accept any old HNG from here to my friends list....
So those of you who think I will be part of your friend collection....go piss up a tree!

10/26/2009 5:06:29 AM
Halloween just happens to be my favorite time of year! 
Happy Halloween to all!

4/24/2009 5:46:54 AM
It has occurred to me, that some people here, do not understand the concept of "friends".
I don't really understand why, but I am writing this so that they can read it and understand my concept of what  a friend is.

A friend is someone, you share good conversations with.  Help in times of need, share dreams and aspirations, hang out with. and generally have good non sexual times together.

My idea of friendship,  isn't one of sharing the intimate details of our sex lives, or lack there of.
Nor is it a power exchange, it's a friendship.

Many beautiful things have come from great friendships.



_To be continued

7/9/2008 5:08:22 PM
I am back from the most wonderful holiday I have ever had!  Tease 2008.
Camping has never been soooo much fun!
Heart felt thanks goes out to everyone, from the event planners to all the people I met and gave me such a warm and wonderful welcome! 
I hope that I can make it again next year....362 days seems like such a long wait!

5/26/2008 2:29:13 PM
I recently came across a wonderful article written by Lady Kay:

For Your pleasure Ma'am

This article is dedicated to the submissive or slave that is currently seeking a Dominant.

I hear it spoken again and again by submissives and slaves alike that they need to know that their Dominant is enjoying what they are doing. I often get emails that say something along the line of – “use me and abuse me so long as you are enjoying it”. Or “I just want to serve you, I will take anything you want so long as it pleases you”.

What they are basically saying is: it is all about the Dominants enjoyment – but then in the same breath they provide you with a list of activities they want the Dominant to perform on them. To me that is like going to a restaurant and ordering a steak medium rare with a side dish of sautéed onions, a baked potato hold the sour cream, with a dry martini stirred not shaken and then telling the waitress that everything they want is for the waitress’ enjoyment and that they are only there to please her by placing such an order which she is then required to dish out… what is wrong with this picture??? Even if she loves being a waitress odds are she wont see it as you serving her – she will see it as her serving YOU.

There is something very wrong with this picture but it is the most common scenario that is played out every day by those shopping for a new D/s or S/M play partner. It is one thing to have kinks and interests in kink – its another when you come complete with a list of the things you want done to you and expect someone who is suppose to be Dominant to comply with your demands because you need it…. That is not a power exchange that is using a Dominant without regards for what the Dominant needs or wants.

So what does a Dominant want?

Choice & Respect. The freedom to choose for themselves not only the activities they will explore, but also when, where, and for how long. A Dominant needs to know that their efforts are not wasted on a slave or submissive who will not reciprocate for their attentions given. A Dominant does not come with a menu where you get to pick what you want; the Dominant does the picking within your boundaries or limitations. Without that freedom of choice the Dominant is nothing more than an obedient top complying with the submissive/slave’s orders.

In order to really understand this important distinction it is important to understand what a Dominant gets out of the power exchange. (Please note that since I am a FemDomme my view is written from a FemDomme perspective).

To start with let’s review what a Dominant puts into a scene for a submissive or slave. They first must analyze the potential partner to see if there is enough mutual interest worth exploring. They then spend time getting to understand their submissive or slave so that they have an idea of where boundaries need to be drawn or limitations (from health related risk issues to psychological quirks to previous bad experiences or trauma). Once they reach that stage of having a rough idea of what the submissive or slave in question will be able to handle they can move into their first scene. During this initial interview stage the Dominant may choose to begin teaching (or training) the submissive in their preferred protocols and rules. Some Dominants have strict rules others are more interested in sceneing and thus put very little focus on rules. Once the Dominant has decided to create a scene however the following takes place…

The Dominant usually provides all the toys (its rare that a submissive or slave will bring anything at all – they just assume the dominant not only has all of it but is willing to share it freely with them).

The Dominant is usually expected to dress the part (again it is rare that a submissive or slave will contribute anything towards having their dominant “look” a certain way – they just expect it to be worn for them freely).

The Dominant plans the scene and sets up toys or equipment as needed (occasionally a submissive or slave will help set up a scene, but more often than not the submissive is more interested in kneeling and waiting for the Dominant to command them so there is rarely any assistance).

Only then does the Dominant begin actually playing… if you have never swung a flogger or used a whip many of these toys require a great deal of physical effort on the Dominants behalf.

At the end of the scene the Dominant has to nurture the submissive or slave if they have gone into the sub-zone flying headspace. Making sure the submissive or slave doesn’t get chilled, that they are given water and whatever they need so they can enjoy the flight.

Then the Dominant packs up the toys and cleans up the play area (usually while the submissive or slave is resting).

So why would a Dominant do all that just for a submissive or slave – what do they get out of it?

The answer is many faceted but to start with they are obviously kinky. There is something incredibly powerful about having someone place their life in your trusted hands. Talk about a great ego booster. In addition there is the sadistic fun of tormenting someone’s body that actually enjoys having it tormented. It is an outlet for many emotions that stay pent up normally. There is the endorphin rush that comes from physical exercise (like percussion type play) which makes a Dominant feel good. There is the satisfaction of see just how far you can take a submissive or slave. There is the thrill of pushing them hard enough to get a great reaction out of them (or zone them). There is that godlike power rush that is incredibly intoxicating through it all. And the most thrilling part (at least for me) is that energy exchange that takes tantric erotica to a whole new level.

But all that “good”, “thrilling”, “power”, “endorphin”, “satisfaction” will disappear in a heartbeat if a Dominant feels used. And unfortunately that happens more often than not. If a Dominant chooses not to scene with you again odds are it was either because they did not find it gratifying (wrong personality fit for these kinds of activities) or they felt used and thus their Dominance was taken away from them in the scene and they ended up becoming servants to your needs.

There are ways a submissive can “give” back thus keeping the power exchange as an exchange not just a “do me” that leaves a Dominant feeling used. Here is a list of just a few ways that a submissive or slave can contribute to their relationship with a Dominant:

Providing refreshments that are presented in a visually appealing way is one simple thing a submissive or slave can do. A bottle of water, a cup of ice, a beverage of the Dominants choosing, some fresh fruit that the Dominant enjoys, a finger food that they can grab during a scene to keep their energy up (such as chocolate strawberries)… all laid out on a nice serving tray with a cloth napkin, lace doily and a rose is a lovely way to tell a Dominant that their efforts are appreciated and that you are returning an effort to see to their comfort during a scene (since obviously you wont be able to care for them during the scene).

Bring new toys – I have never met a Dominant yet who didn’t thrill at the opportunity to try out new toys. Just keep in mind that the longer the toy the more experienced the dominant needs to be in using it so if you buy your Dominant a 6 foot bullwhip odds are they will NOT be using it on you any time soon – they will need to practice on their own till they master the skills necessary to safely use this toy. This does not negate the value of the gift however – Dominants love toys. If you think about how much a Dominant spends just to have a decent toy bag for scenes, then buying that $40 to $200 toy for their pleasure makes sense. Also keep in mind that if you were going to pay for a pro-domme you would be paying $300 per hour minimum. Your Dominant not only does it for free, but they love doing it. Why wouldn’t you give them something in exchange for all their attentions?

Bring fet clothes – for either you or your Dominant to wear. Most Dominants have a limited wardrobe strictly because of the expensive price tag normally associated with fetwear. North Bound Leather has a registry (online) for Dominants where they can pick what they like select the right sizes and any submissive or slave can buy it for them. Like a bridal registry – you end up getting exactly what the Dominant likes in just their size. Also when they wear it they will be reminded of you.

Inexpensive accessories – towels, sheets, drop cloths, blanket, candles, music CD, first aid kit, disposable gloves, condoms, lubricant, etc… are all things that a Dominant should have on hand during a scene so why not help provide some of these things instead of expecting the Dominant to provide it all.

Offer to clean the toys after a scene. Offer to wash ropes and laundry. Offer to pass the vacuum in the scene area. In other words DON’T BE LAZY – you expect your Dominant to put forth physical effort, you should put forth physical effort too! Make things easier for your Dominant by offering to help in whatever capacity you can.

If you are financially strapped then give what you can in effort and inexpensive gestures to show your respect for your Dominant and your appreciation of all that they do. If you can afford it then help your Dominant obtain the toys you would love to see them own or the clothes you would love to see them wear to enhance your visual pleasure during a scene.

In other words don’t be a free loader – it leaves a Dominant feeling used.

Written by Lady Kay posted on her website

www.MarriageMistress.com

A power exchange is just that “an exchange” both partners should be contributing to that exchange. BDSM can be incredibly gratifying to both the Dominant and the submissive or slave (or bottom) but it isn’t really a power exchange until both are contributing to its ongoing enjoyment.



2/25/2008 5:51:55 PM
 

Insideous


With a smile on Her sweet round face

All innocent eyes and grace

She will put you into your place

Insidious


She will plumb the depths of your heart

Tender of touch to start

Taking you all apart

Insidious


There will be no place to hide

When within her bonds you're tied

She is your map your guide

Insidious


Yet She is the one you trust

submission, you are but dust

releasing your every lust

Insidious


With out Her you can't be whole

She finds your spark your soul

like a trembling new born foal

Insidious


In leather and lace She's dressed

as She's putting you to the test

then gently holding you to Her breast

Insidious


As the sweat oozes out your pores

and your soul is no longer yours

She's the one that your heart adores

Insidious.


2/10/2008 11:35:54 PM
The Spider and the fly.



Come into my parlor, said the Spider to the fly.
For I have, the most exquisite treats, I want for you
to try.
The fly with baited breath agreed, to come and taste her wares.  His skin was all a tingle, on his neck
stood little hairs.
And all around the parlor, the Spider led him by the
hand,showed him all he'd ever wanted, as She softly
took command.
“Lay back “She said, “just rest right here, I'll feed
you your desires”.  And every tiny morsel, served to
build and stoke his fires.
But so enamoured by the feast, the fly had failed note
that, She had bound him in her web, her sharp teeth at
his throat.
Then in Her web he squirmed and squirmed, the fear set
on his face, all around he looked and looked but could
find no escape
He lay there tight within his bonds, and there
he writhed and moaned
Then when She fed upon him, he knew that he was owned.

2/8/2008 10:23:21 AM
While hunting for a fun toy to play with is fun sometimes, it does get a little frustrating at times.  If you are reading this then take to heart I am not looking for a slave, my life is too busy to use one full time, I'm never home.
I'm just looking for someone fun and creative to play with.

12/23/2007 5:04:01 PM
yup, it's nearly Xmas.... NO I am not ready for it .  It will come wether I want it to or not, things like that I can't control....RATS!

11/24/2007 8:40:44 PM
Oh montreal how I pine for thee!  Ahhh home once again after a beautiful sojourn in montreal.  Kiss kiss, to my new freinds Dave and Nick that let me play with them in the dungeons, wink wink nudge nudge say no more.

4/29/2007 11:25:27 PM
ahhh Yes... so much for the physical side of things, how about the more esoteric stuff... while some think that the body is an independant souce of pleasure, I find that there are so many more aspects than simply the physical, don't begin to bore me with the physical, cause seriously I am not interested in being with a vacuum, give me a reason to spend the few precious moments in my life that I have to spare...with you...tempt me, intrigue me....beguile me with that something special that you possess!

1/26/2007 6:58:25 PM
WEll Long time since I have made a post, think that I have changed somewhat in that time.  I have certainly decided that I far Prefer being Domme, here in this realm.

8/29/2005 6:14:13 AM
I have been on here for a week, thanks to all the interesting people that have taken the time to message me!

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CutieCountryGirl
 
 Age: 40
  California