LostBabyDoll

Male Switch, 22, Melbourne

Male Submissive, 29, UK

Male Dominant, 28, San Francisco, California

I'm going to meet someone from CM this week. I've only met someone from here once before and like other online dating sites I dont really have any expectations. I'm going away this week again but hopefully it's my last trip for a while. I usually love to travel but a lot of short trips can take a toll over a couple months. I'm spending this weekend mostly at home and it feels good. I was wondering what other people do in terms of exchanging phone, email and personal info with people you are just getting to know. I had an experience with someone I met from Match and we went on one date I had tix to the bruins and he called and texted me for quite sometime long after I told him I wasn't interested. I think the best thing is to just meet in person as soon as possible before spending a lot of time talking and chatting to see if there is any chemistry.

I'm working late tonight. I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I spend a lot of time emailing people and chatting with people but not really meeting people or dating someone. I think I should use my time to get work done and work on other goals. I feel very fickle and I haven't met any one person here that I just know they are the one for me. I feel as lost as when I first created this username ....

Bikram yoga this morning. It is the most fabulous 90 minutes of torture around. Extremely challenging But so relaxing. I just hate the sight and smell of not just a little but a tremendous amount of sweat on barely clothed people.

I spent over an hour at the bookstore today after work I love doing that.

Well the guy I met at the cocktail party back in December contacted me again. I really like him a lot but he lives out of state. He called me once but other than that we email about once a week some small talk. This was after meeting him and he showed a lot of interest in me at a work party. He texted me yesterday to say he was at my office but I wasn't there. I guess what I don't understand is that if he really likes me then why wouldn't he tell me he was going to be in town and setup a specific time to meet. And if he isn't interested then why does he email me every week to say hi and chit chat about something and then wait a week to write back to my response. Why doesn't he just stop contacting me? I am used to men that actively pursue me so this one email a week is torture I wish I could get this guy out of my head.

Well i can't believe I still don't have a boyfriend. I'm not actively looking and it feels very strange to have so much control over my life. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I have been feeling really happy lately though happier than ice been in a long long time so I think sometimes maybe being by myself isn't so bad. Work has been busy, I've been traveling for work and fun, spending time with friends, making new friends, skiing and of course doing fun things with the kids. Some of the people on this site seem a little scary to me but vanilla people seem too boring. People have been wanting to set me up with people and i'm open to that. My life is relatively drama free which is peaceful but I do miss a lot of things a lot too... I was thinking maybe I'd get the chance to go shopping at the fetish fair for a couple hours this weekend. I hope so.

I wish people would tell me more about themselves. Almost everyone contacting me is dominant and real. I am very particular about who I am attracted to. I will submit to someone that I adore because he is amazing, accomplished, extraordinary, and I am a complement to his full life rather than that I am what he needs to make his life meaningful. I expect a man to tell me about who he is in addition to his kinks. If your kinkiness defines who you are then we probably aren't a good match. Also while I would do anything for the one I love I am very particular about who I get involved with and I don't have an interest in sleeping with lots of random people so I really don't understand why I would want to be called a slut. Some profiles turn me off because they aren't looking for someone to serve them and love them completely and unconditionally but rather for someone to degrade. I am sure there are lots of women with low self esteem who get off on that but I am confident, accomplished and not a slut at least not by my definition but I will use my intelligence and loyalty to completely please the person I am with by predicting their needs and doing what they ask in and out of the bedroom. Maybe I am unusual but I wonder if sone other submissive women love to serve but don't understand the need for degradation? And also don't just want to serve just any "dominant" male but seek an intellectual and emotionally mature equal?

I spent an unusually large amount of my time by myself over the last few days and it was very relaxing. I watched a couple quirky movies and some cooking and decorating and what not to wear shows. I don't normally watch tv by myself it was nice. I've also been decluttering trying to make space for the new year. It feels good. I thought about trying to meetup with one or two of the people that I've met online here at CM but I can't explain it I just felt like being alone for a change. I just planned a trip with my kids and i'm looking forward to getting away. A friend of mine mentioned a place to me at a party I went to last night and it sounded so relaxing and quaint I called and booked a room that had just opened up. They have an indoor pool so the kids will be in heaven.

I got up early this morning and wrapped and put out the gifts.? Now I"m waiting for everyone to wake up.? Okay well the cat already found hers ... This is the first Christmas morning I don't have any presents to open.? It actually feels good.? I can't believe how good it feels.? It's nice to just focus on giving.? It makes me happy.? Besides, I am trying to eliminate things and make more space in my home. ? It feels strange to be single on Christmas.? I've noticed that on CM and the vanilla dating site, there is an increased amount of energy as people realize just how lonely it is and many find themselves simply "enduring" the holidays.? I don't feel that way.? I feel pretty good about waiting and trying to find someone that I am compatible with intellectually and emotionally.? My holiday has been much less stressful this year.? I don't know quite how to differentiate and communicate with all of the people that have contacted me.? I hate to say it, but people seem to blend together, many sounding very much alike.? "we have a lot in common we should talk" or "do you have yahoo".? Personally I hope to find some inkling of something special about someone, that there is something unusual about our connection in how you speak to me in what you are all about and how that fits with me.? When I ask people to tell me about themselves they don't seem to know what I mean.? Sometimes they tell me their height and weight.? I want to know what makes you unique and different from everyone else.? I want to know who you are, what you value in life, what your goals are, what you spend your time doing, do you have kids or pets and what do you like to do with them, what are your skills/talents/education, what are your dreams, what would you do if you had more time and/or if you didnt have any constraints.? I want to know how you see a relationship with me working - are you seeking short-term only, long-term, or see how it develops naturally.? Are you seeking exclusive, non-exclusive, or see how it develops.? How do your relationships usually work best for you?? what do you know you don't want?? I appreciate those who provide this level of detail about themself in their profile - it really helps a lot.? I do find it strange though, that when I tell people that I'm not sure about some of the things in their profile that all of a sudden those things become optional or flexible and not that important.? I decided to make my profile a little more general, because for me I am not sure exactly what I am looking for and I am very open-minded and flexible in many ways.? I know what I am not looking for more than I know what I am looking for.? Maybe that is always the way when you are fairly fresh out of another relationship.? ?

I did some really nice things today and I feel really happy even though I spent Christmas Eve mosty alone.? I gave my cleaning lady flowers and candy and some extra money.? I was so happy she was able to come on Christmas Eve I really didn't expect her to.? I gave my babysitter a week's pay for her Christmas bonus and I started crying when I told her that she was the only person I could really count on always and she means so much to me she is like family and she continues to do more than I expect of her which amazes me and I feel so lucky.? I bumped into my friend's boyfriend at the supermarket and he explained to me that she was upset that he told her he was going to give her cash in a card for Christmas and now he had to work until 5.? So he gave me his credit card and i went alongside all the other men in the jewelry store at the mall and got her a gift.? He just stopped by to pick it up and it was giftwrapped and he said "don't you have a bag for it?" LOL.? So I gave him a gift bag with tissue paper too and a bottle of Falling in Love perfume that I had purchased (smells like Cotton Candy).? I like doing things for other people.? I also managed to get a lot done for me and I'm totally ready for tomorrow (well 90% towards my goals and the rest is optional).? I even got my broken nail fixed.? I know a lot of people wrote to me but I haven't had a chance to write back to everyone so please be patient since there was a lot I needed to get done today and it's nothing about what you wrote in your email.? I often read my email and then come back later to respond after thinking about it for a bit.? Merry Christmas Everyone!? or happy thursday if you don't celebrate christmas...

I'm procrastinating on the tail end of my christmas shopping I guess i want to get those christmas eve deals... at least I am off tomorrow.

I think when you see someone at work it is harder to know what they are like in private.? People can be one way at work and different in their personal lives.? I know for me I had someone I know from work reveal to me that he wanted me to dominate him.? I asked him why he thought I would be good at that.? He said because of how I am at work and in social situations that I am so confident.? I was so surprised.? It fascinated me because it made me realize that sometimes people aren't as they seem.

So I met someone that I am interested in at work.? He has asked me to go to lunch or dinner but we haven't made any plans yet.? I was wondering how do you know or what are the ways to try to figure out if someone is dominant or do you just have to wait and see how it plays out.? I'm not sure what to do other than to wait and see what happens.?

Tonight I am going to a cocktail party in Boston. I love getting dressed up. Even though I don't even have a date, I'm looking forward to it. People should get dressed up more often. Although jeans are one of my favorite things to wear, there is something about wearing a dress with heels I suppose it makes the women definitely women and distinct from the men (at work it often seems like women try to blend on and not stand out which is kind if sad but I suppose a lot less distracting in the business world).

It's been a long week already and it's only Monday!!! I have a lot of stress at work at the moment. I know a lot of people complain that women should at least say "sorry I'm not interested" to at least acknowledge someone's email. I just had some write back "like as if I was really interested in you". It's very hard to decipher peoples emails - some people don't say anything about themself and don't say any reason why they find me interesting, some people can't string together coherent sentences, some people have mustaches and remind me too much of my father, some people have interests or say things in their profile that give me the perception that we wouldn't be a good match, whatever the reasons I hope nobody takes it personally. There is someone for everyone. I know I'm not for everyone.

I originally came to this site under a different username when I was in a relationship to learn and to expore the forum discussions. They are so fascinating.? Such diversity and so many brilliant and creative ideas. I was just reading the thread about what is the most humiliating BDSM act and I realized I guess I have been made to do things that are considered humiliating I just saw that as punishment.? What is your favorite way to punish or be punished?

Well I've stopped pining over my ex-bf and I started dating. My dates could be scripts for a hilarious sitcom, I've had people tell me about their problem of shrinky dink, tell me they are a miserable bastard, bring up STDs and birth control, tell me their kids can't stand them, tell me they much prefer to be alone then with other people, and tell me about their legal issues and restraining orders - all on first dates over a drink over two. It is pretty entertaining at least definitely not boring....

When I am not dating someone, I occasionally get blatant propositions for sex. I know most guys would jump all over those types of opportunities. My guy friends ask me why I don't just have sex with anyone I feel like and "have fun" since I am not attached to anyone. I passed on a couple " opportunities" this week because well I didn't feel like it. Sometimes it is someone I just met and I just don't feel comfortable having sex with a stranger. I was trying to figure out why because yes of course there could be a lot of pleasure. But I think when I first meet someone and have no idea if they will ever care a thing about me, I don't know their last name, if I will ever hear from them again, will they tell all their friends or people I know about what we do, so many unknowns. Maybe I think about it too much. Other times the man is taken and is just looking at me as a quick diversion from the stale or non existent sex life they have with their significant other. In these cases I feel sad for them that they are stuck and have to cheat to fulfill their needs. This isn't very attractive to me and neither is feeling like they have someone they are bound to that is special to them on many ways even though they don't fill all their needs and I don't like that feeling. In both cases I think I feel nervous about being vulnerable with someone new and doing that just for a couple of hours of pleasure I'm not sure about it. So what do you think if you are reading this? Do you think I should seize the moment and just do it (assuming there is attraction of course) or do you think it's good to feel like I only want to open myself up to someone that I have at least the most basic level of trust and potential there and know their last name and what kind of person they are and know for certain they aren't cheating on someone?

I joined a vanilla dating site today. Not sure how that will go....

These ads make me laugh on this site. "cluck here to find a transexual who wants to have sex in only 5 minutes...". And am I the only one that finds the 3-d kinky avatars video game totally creepy? Show me the puppyponygirls or trainingofo or anything else please CM :)

Two different women at work today laughed about how they punished their husband by refusing to have sex with him - even though they really wanted to have sex!!!! Makes no sense to me... I don't care how mad I was about something I wouldn't turn down sex especially with someone I was going to be sleeping next to all night anyways :)...

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