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Male Dominant, 53, Buffalo, New York
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Male Dominant, 40, Long Island, New York
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Dominant Couple, 25, Socorro, New Mexico
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About lordredc
I had been on something of a hiatus from seeking partners for a while. I think I'm ready to come out of hibernation, but with some caveats. I no longer feel like play clubs are good places for me to be. So many of us do what we do from a place of darkness and want only to go deeper into darkness, to torture ourselves (regardless of whether or not we label ourselves "masochist"), to use our kink as some kind of therapy, to try to exorcise demons when, in reality, we are only attracting more demons to our presence.
I cannot play in that environment and with those kinds of kinksters anymore. I am not judging...whatever works for you is great. My spiritual health is not for sale at any price, however, and playing with anyone who is into kink for the wrong reasons is not something I want to do. For my own self-preservation and development toward enlightenment I must seek those who are compatible with my goals.
The partners I seek are fully aware of who they are. They see BDSM as a fun part of their sexuality. They do not want to wallow in darkness, but instead call forth the light in their play. They will never doubt that every word, every action I take in kink comes from a place of love, affection, or (at the very least if our play dynamic is more casual) respect. They seek tenderness and caring. They do not want to fight darkness with more darkness. They instead have acknowledged and conquered their darkness (or are at least working on it). They play having already found the light, seeking only to add to it. They value kindness and affection and understand that my willingness to give it to them does not reflect my weakness as a dom, it reflects my strength.
What specifically do I want in a partner, regardlesss of whether vanilla or kinky? Sweetness, patience, and humanity from a cis-gendered female type. Not every relationship need be kinky or sexual (though it's certainly nice to connect with someone in that way :) ). Smoking cigarettes is a deal-breaker. Smoking anything else must not happen in my presence or airspace. I don't have kids and I don't want them. I'm poly-friendly but would not describe myself as "knee-deep" in the lifestyle. As such, there's room for monogamy if you are "the one" (though truthfully, I doubt more and more that one person alone could be perfect for me and vice versa...you're welcome to prove me wrong!).
What do I want in a submissive? Self-awareness for a start. My ideal girl seeks a D/s relationship. She is willing to lose herself in me when appropriate and yet is also strong enough not to when her vanilla life calls. She does not need SM but will accept it at my discretion. She longs to hear me call her a good girl when she has pleased me and to be corrected when she has not. Her submission is a gift in more than one sense. It is something that she bestows upon me when she finds me worthy as a dom. It is then my prerogative to decide whether she is worthy to serve me as my sub. If so, accepting her gift is a responsibility and I do not take it lightly. It is also a gift in the sense of being a talent--one that must be recognized and nurtured should I decide she is worthy of me. She will have looked deep inside herself and determined that her desire to submit is the calling of her heart, not just her loins.
If you need therapy, get it. If you are stuck in the darkness or battling demons, I cannot help you. If your soul is bright and alive and conscious and you happen to desire kink, if you wish to dance into the light with me, you are the one I want to resume this journey with. Come along now, for "now" is all we have.... |
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