LordMagister

The thing that hurts most is when you find exactly what you want (in a person, place, or thing), but yet can't do anything about it. 

It's sort of like watching people eat.  In a restaurant while you're outside.  In the rain.

I was thinking about this in the shower this morning, and it really hit me.  The submissive-oriented people in this lifestyle complain so much about people with "Lord" or "Master" or "Dom" in their names being poseurs, and about the fake Doms/Dommes who just want a power trip by physically or verbally abusing people.  I have "Lord" in my chosen name, so those who are already prejudiced against me probably won't read this, but here goes:

Say you have two people.  They know nothing about one another, save for one fact: Person A needs X dollars for something he or she really wants/needs, and Person B happens to have $X with which he or she could possibly part ways.

Now, let's look at Person A.  He (or she) has options: he could get a job, take out a loan from a respectable institution, take a loan from a less-respectable institution (Kneecaps, Ltd.), or any variety of other viable avenues.  He doesn't necessarily have to approach Person B about the money.  However, this is the tack he chooses, so he approaches Person B.

He has literally infinite options while choosing to approach Person B, but the most obvious examples are: he could lie about his reasons for wanting the money in hopes that he can impress B or coerce B into parting with it, he could scream and make demands about B handing over the money, he could be frank and honest and open about himself and his reasons for wanting the money, or he could do something completely different.

Person B, likewise, has options, too.  She (or he) could choose to ignore A, give him a fraction of the money, or give A all the money and hope what he needs is worth the return on the investment that B can expect ... however that manifests.  B, I always assume, is not so stupid as to give away money without some kind(s) of string(s) attached.  Otherwise, I would love to just hang around B in hopes of catching a falling hundred-spot or three.

My point is: this is an allegory for Domination and submission.  Person B (the submissive) has what person A (the Dominant) wants: her gift of submission.  B, not A, is the one who ultimately chooses to give it.  While they both should have a say in how it's repaid, B's the one giving the gift.

Two-year-olds yell and scream at adults to try and get what they want.  Teenagers tend to be whiny and emo about what they want.  Adults (I am led to believe) have actually learned some interpersonal skills and can choose how they want to ask for what they want.

So, stop being two-year-olds and stop being emo teenagers.  Ask nicely for what you want, don't expect instant gratification, and maybe ... just maybe ... you'll find what you're looking for.