lokimadmonk

Master of Boots 

Erotica by LokiMadMonk about 1 month ago

I see you shiny knee high cop boots
I see you unassuming, sensual oil tanned engineers
I feel you humble steel toe work boots
My heart feels every cut, every scuff, every scar

I move my glass away form my eyes
The muscles inside relax and focus to new vision
My body springs to life...Baby I know just what to do
...but I will not do it yet as a wicked smile escapes form my lips

Every piece of leather lain before me cries to me
"Love me! Please Master of Boots!"
"Reward me for the service I have given to my owner! For I have protected them from the cold! I have protected them form the wind and rains! I have taken the pain in their stead! I hold them I cradle them I stand as a testament to their life and connect the to all who hear their own drummers beat!"

"Please Master of Boots! Make love to me! I BEG you!"

I've heard your cry my love
My deft fingers quickly and carefully remove the binding that holds you to your owner
I gently pull apart the leathery folds open

Dust, Neglect, Dog hair
I wash it all away

Salt, Mud, Grime, Mold
I wash it all away

Oh my lover so meek and so fine. You are beautiful
My mouth meets your leathery tongue. We kiss
My mouth to your skin
Then the great love making ritual begins!

Every tool, Every product is apart of my body

The Dripping wax, the polish, the oil
Is my semen

The folding bone,nail file, Emory board, and brushes
My gentiles

BE HEALED!

The ritual is done
The cuts mended, the scuff gone.

I bind you back to the clueless one sitting in the chair
They who feel that to love you is beneath them.

But don't worry
I will wait here in the darkness
To love you again.

My sexual ID

Journal Entry by LokiMadMonk 4 months ago

You know there is a weird and wonderful view I get as a heoka (sacred transsexual). I can see the little boxes and labels for what they are. Little boxes and labels.
It is no different than grabbing a Hello my name is tag and writing Gay or Straight and slaping it on your shirt and announcing to the room Hey everyone see my label that is who I am and ALL that I am.

0_0 wtf!?

umm no My name is Loki and I am a heoka, I am a leather-man, a bootblack, a lover, a leader, and friend, I like boys, I like girls , I like girly boys , I like boyish girls, I flag pink hankie , I eat corn flakes etc. etc.

Then the really funny thing these people that believe this little piece of paper is in fact who they are keep asking me about my little piece of paper. I tell them I burned it long ago and they recoil in horror.

evil laugh

Honor 

Journal Entry by LokiMadMonk 6 months ago

When I went to IMrBB I did so representing myself, my home bar, and my values and ethics as a bootblack.

I discovered bootblacking as an accident and I acquired mad skills form my mentor through a chance encounter.
However he taught me many things that could be applied to the rest of the community and should be.

Chief among those is honor.Most people have no concept of honor anymore. People run for sashes to stroke their own egos and forget why they should have the sash at all.

When I went to IMrBB I went to push myself. To bring and show honor and pride in my work.

I was givien lots of advise but some of it was BAD advise. Tricks and tips that put a smug on my honor and ethics. Cheap shots to win but without honor it is an empty win.

I never let anyone out of my chair unhappy. I refused to turn and burn. I would shine quickly but if those boots were not perfect then I didn't do my job.

There were people coming to me to correct the work of another bootblack that turned and burned them away. Some one which were horrendous. I could not do that. I could not give up my honor for a sash.

a little secret for everyone. I have double carpel tunnel syndrome and arthritis in my spine. sitting in one position for 20 minutes give me excruciating pain. Here I was siting in the same spot for 8-10 hours at a time doing repeative motions!
I not only survived the weekend. (although it took me three days to recover (thank you very Much Simone and Jon for driving me home) But for being a complete international nobody holding no previous titles. Not coming form a regional contest circuit and almost placing 3rd my first shot of the gate! 0_0

I was not the prettiest, or most well known.I didn't show up with an entourage. I am just a mid-western bootblack.
On the last day of balloting 3 ballots came in exactly 60 seconds after ballot closed. I took the tickets up to coordinator and said. "these came in after ballot close therefore I do not want them to count towards me in any way."
So I was fourth place.

The important thing is I made a shit ton of friends. I had a incredible time I will never forget. I survived 20 hours of bootblacking with my body torn up as it is. I had the honors of having some incredible people in my chair. and i got to share my soul and heart with people the best way I know how. Through the art and passion of leather care.

One day I will be Mr Bootblack. But I am going to do it with honor and ethics not tricks and scams.

...on a side note it feel wonderful to get a rub down of all your tender sore areas with boot grease by another bootblack. XD

Everyone needs to read this

Journal Entry by LokiMadMonk 6 months ago

Since Tyler won IML I have been assaulted with negative, poisonous comments. People speak them freely around me because they assume that I am not a transsexual. Quite frankly I am shocked and my heart is growing sick form these venoms.

Cisgendered gays, lesbians, heteros ,everyone speaks about people who have transsexualality like they used to talk about homosexuals in the 20's . Not to long ago gays , lesbians and transsexuals were locked up in metal hospitals and given shock therapy to try and make us like the "normal hetero people" so why are we now at this day and age throwing our brothers and sisters under the bus?

I can't make sense of it in my head at all.

When I came into the leather lifestyle is was by accident. A friend in a bear bar was redecorating the back area to make a leather space and he needed a bootblack. I went to a trans campout hosted my La Garou and met a bootblack and asked to learn. The rest just snow balled form there. In leather I have learned to love and accept myself . I learned sex was ok and more than ok it was fun and that I shouldn't be ashamed of my body. Now we have the first IML with not only a less than Ideal body but also with a medical issue I identify with and those I called my brother and sisters are freaking out. They tell me they love me and my work and would fight and die for me in one breath then in the other scream that all "trannies." shouldn't be allowed in gay men's spaces. O_o

I have been chalking this up to growing pains.

Then the first black man won IML the community freaked out. Guess what? Leather is still around and better for it.

History is repeating itself. Ten years from now the young leather rebels won't blink an eye and trans people but will be grumbling about the new style of fetish dress the next generation of leather folk comes up with. I am looking forward to becoming and old man and giggling at this when I get older.

What Leather really is

Journal Entry by LokiMadMonk 8 months ago

By Stephen Lane, Ox Balls

What new doors have been opened by having a transexual win IML? None. How many trannies dream of winning a contest for and about leathermen? I guess the same right i have to win a trannie or lesbian contest?

If i even thought i had a shot at winning such a contest, (I am, btw a 46 year old 6'2" hairy beast, always in leather), would i be allowed to enter? Would it be right for me to enter and take this honor from a deserving trannie or lesbian?

No. Nor would i choose to enter because i know what i am, and i know the damage it would do if i did.

Groups can still, in these days of all-inclusiveness, be exclusive...this isnt a episode of Glee.

Did he/she consider the damage? The leather community is dying...every year there fewer men in leather at IML, at leather bars and leather events. Do you really think having a trannie as a figurehead of the largest group of leathermen will attract the new young gay blood we need? Will it keep the core group of leather-wearing dedicated leathermen together?

i am pulling my financial/product support from all local leather events that do not have the balls to get the lesbians and trannies out of a group that once represented masculinity, leather, and god forbid, sex.

This is the leather community's Sarah Palin...just in leather.

As for the banning of anything "Bareback"...did you see all the bestiality videos in the vendor mart at IML? none of the dogs in those videos were wearing condoms...

Did you see the leatherman in chaps tap-dancing in the talent portion of the IML contest? I may burn my leathers and switch to rubber.

It is time to grow some balls and set limits, IML used to be sexy...now it is as dull as community center dance.

Young Gay Blood

by Tynan Fox - tynanfox.com

Picture 1 There’s been quite a bit of discussion about how to attract young gay blood, mostly from older members of the leather community. Perhaps we should be asking the young gay blood precisely what they think, rather than speculating. I’m 25 years old, and have been active since I was 18. Like it or not, here it is.

My primary fetish is bondage; until recently, I’ve never wanted to explore leather. Why? I thought that in order to be into leather, you had to be at least 45 years old, 45 lbs overweight, and 45% covered in dark, thick body hair. The only instances I ever saw Leathermen, whether on Recon, porn, or otherwise, consisted of men precisely like that. When I was 23 I finally met a sexy guy close to my own age into leather. What a changing experience that was. Even without this, I wanted to go to IML badly for years and years, thanks to all the crazy stories friends told. Finally, this year I had the time and money to do so. Why would I do that, if I’ve admittedly never been that enthusiastic about leather?

*I attended because I wanted to get laid, and meet other guys into bondage.
Meeting people, seeing kinky friends who I never see, screwing around, getting tied up and tying guys up, buying new gear. Could I tell you who won the last 30 IMLs? Not a chance. Could I tell you who won just last year? No. What about who the judges are, what they do, etc.? Not one bit. Hell, I don’t even know where the contest was located in the hotel. I thought this was painfully obvious, but here it is, plain and simple: young people new to the scene just aren’t interested in the contest.*

I feel sorry for Mr. Balls and those who’ve been around the block a few times and feel similarly. I’m sure the future of “leather” isn’t turning out how you imagined it. I’m sure that makes you angry, frustrated, hurt, and misty for the olden days. There are more and more guys at IML who are into rubber, sports gear, military gear, spandex, and hell, some who just enjoy kinky sex regardless of what they’re wearing. Surely this isn’t the future you had in mind when you started going to IML ten or twenty years ago.

We won’t apologize though. We can’t. You are, in fact, the ones who taught us not to. We’re fearless and eager to show the kinky world what we love. This level of defiance should make you as proud as us. It shows we have respect for you, our elders – if IML, leather, or the old guard community hadn’t defied standards of sexual expression, we wouldn’t be here today either.

Can groups still be exclusive? Absolutely. The IML contest is still exclusive; this year’s winner is a man. There is no “damage” to the leather community done by this year’s IML winner. In fact, I applaud him. That contest has some steep competition and a triumphant win by such an accomplished man shows me that the judges are looking for a leader, not some dumb muscle head who knows how to flex on stage. They want someone who will make a difference, and he already has. Contrary to any potential “damage” Mr. Balls has disputed, this winner has made me perk my ears up to what is happening with the actual contest.

Despite our differences and your disappointment in me, I still consider Leathermen everywhere to be my brothers. I am one of you. You haven’t made it easy though, because believe it or not, your words aren’t falling on deaf ears. We’ve heard the disappointed cries of the seasoned Leathermen everywhere. We know we’re not what you wanted for a future of leather. Frankly, it makes us feel unwanted.

If your goal is to bring more young and kinky guys into the leather community, please, stop trying so hard to drive us away.

This is precisely how I feel.

How can we be sexually free when other would have us put "standards" on our sexual freedom?!

The first "leather men" were not these Tom of Finland German officer types. "leather men were just gay men that society gave a sexual "standard" to.

Their sexual standards were to go home post war find a woman and have a 1950s household with babies and loveless marriage. Sleeping with other men is forbidden.

So these guys bought surplus motorbike and riding leather (which was brown and ugly and only used for safety) and defied the standards and fucked who they wanted to fuck and loved how they wanted to love and ignored those who would impose their "standards" on them or their friends.

being a "leather" man is about embracing your sexuality fully and apologetically with out fear. and Loving and bonding with those who do the same. as our for-bearers did.

rubber,sports gear bears cowboys, skins

if they hold true to this one thing they are leather folk

so go wear what you want to wear and fuck how you want to fuck and love who you want to love and i will call you family.

Impose "standards" and throw my family out the door and I will throw you out of my heart.

Sex Change 

Note by LokiMadMonk 8 months ago

If You Get A Sex Change:

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you, for the rest of your life. It’s worthy work, but it can be boring and wearing and exhausting. Start putting together your spiel now - it will have to cover things like why you did this, when you knew, what your feelings were, etc. Start practicing it now, on supportive friends and family, if you have any. Get used to it.

2. You will be discriminated against. Not everywhere, not by everyone, but you will run into a lot of discrimination. It will be worse if you don’t pass and you don’t stay in the closet. If you do pass, you may worry about your cover being blown. If you don’t pass, you may be ridiculed or assaulted. If you stay in the closet, you have to constantly fear being outed, and this restricts your pool of friends and acquaintances. If you are out, you might as well not pass.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit. People that you meet for the first time don’t really know who you are and what kind of experiences you come from. Imagine knowing that every new person you meet has to have their assumptions about you not only shattered but completely trashed if they are to really know you at all. Depending on how genetically lucky you are, passing may be a constant drain on your energy from the endless worry about whether you’re moving or speaking or dressing right.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment. It’s not unusual to be fired from most jobs where you transition, unless you’re in a really liberal environment. If you don’t pass, or you’re out, you will find it hard to find work. Social mobility among transsexuals is mostly downward. Your resume has someone else’s work history on it, and you may have to choose between leaving on the prior experience that may out you in the interview, or leaving it off and maybe not getting the job. The best option, of course, is to find a job that will be fine with your transition first, before you do it, but not everyone is that lucky.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it’s not cross-dressing any more, it’s just normalcy. It’s not erotic when it’s what’s for breakfast for the rest of your life. You’ll have to find a new fetish.

6. You won’t ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex. You may have a decent replication, depending on your genetics, surgery and hormone results, and luck, but it won’t be “normal”. Hopefully it will be “good enough” for complete psychological well-being, but it might not be.

7. There’s no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely. It will certainly improve as you take hormones and change your appearance, but it may not ever go away completely. If you choose not to get genital surgery - it may cost too much, or you may not be satisfied with the results - you may still get attacks of dysphoria, especially when you try to have sex.

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt. It will certainly cost a lot. Although surgical techniques are better than they were, there’s still no guarantee that it won’t cost you your nerve endings. This goes for MTF and FTMs are well. We know some of both who had genital surgery within the last year and lost the ability to orgasm with the moved-around tissue. It may develop complications. It may leave huge scars. In the case of phalloplasties, it may rot off. No surgeon has a perfect rate; it may have more to do with good genetics and pure luck than anything else. If you have bad results, it can painfully remind you of your trans status every time you look at it.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before (we’re assuming that it was in appropriate places), that will change once your anatomy is gender-mixed. It will be hard to be naked in front of strangers without it becoming an Education Campaign. Even if you educate them, they may not see you as anything but a freak show.

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically. This is especially true if you are FTM. That doesn’t mean that you can’t ever find someone - we did - but it means that you’ll have to look a whole lot harder, put up with a lot of rejection on the grounds of your anatomy, and deal with Educating nearly everyone you date. The vast majority of people will not want you sexually. When you do get in bed with a new person, you’ll probably have to go through a long explanation of what works and what doesn’t, what you want touched and what you want left alone, what you want things called and what sex acts you can’t stand. This will, of course, vary with the dysphoria level of each individual person, but with even a medium amount of dysphoria, explaining your sexual habits and functioning bears more resemblance to what disabled people have to do when explaining about their bodies and sexual difficulties.

11. You may lose your family. The majority of the transfolk we know do not have good relationships with their blood kin. It takes very special people to accept their child’s sex change, and not everyone is up to it.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends. You can, of course, make new ones, but losing friends over a sex change is not a fun thing.

13. You may lose your children. Older, grown ones may refuse to speak to you because you’ve robbed them of having a normal mom or dad. Younger ones can be taken away from you with comparative ease. This varies from state to state, but in general, being transsexual can be a near-fatal strike against you in a custody battle. After complete sex reassignment, you are sterile, and being trans will also be a strike against any attempts to adopt.

14. You may lose your religious community. This depends strongly on your faith of choice - some are fine with us, some think that we are dangerous and evil. Since religion is one of those subjects where people become extremely irrational at times, it will be exceptionally difficult for you to win acceptance in the latter sort of spiritual structure.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.....for the rest of your life.

16. Statistically, you will be much more likely to be assaulted and/or killed by hatemongers. This is more likely to happen if you don’t pass or are out of the closet, but remember that you can always be outed. Remember Brandon Teena. You will be more vulnerable to assault, rape, and murder, and the authorities will be less likely to believe your story, come to your aid, investigate your murder, or jail your murderer.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison. If you do not have genital surgery, you will be placed in a prison with people of your birth gender, unless your state is one of the rare ones with a separate wing for transgendered people. Regardless, you will be denied your hormones while in prison. No state is currently required to provide them, and so far all court cases by trannies to get hormones while in prison have not been successful.

18. You will have trouble finding medical care. Every doctor must be educated, and many will turn you away on the grounds of being transsexual. You may have to endure someone giving you an exam with a revolted look on their face. The emergency room can become a nightmare. Even well-meaning doctors may not know how to deal with your different anatomy and endocrinology well enough to effectively help you. Even surgically constructed genitals need different medical care from ones grown at birth, so there’s no way to pretend that you’re just like everyone else medically. If you are in an accident and unconscious, your nonstandard body may well affect the quality of the medical care that you get from emergency personnel.

19. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance created by large, corrupt pharmaceutical companies for the rest of your life, especially if you’ve had your reproductive organs removed. It’s expensive, and if you stop your body will suffer. It means having to deal with occasional shortages, price fluctuations, insurance plans that don’t always cover it, and (for those on testosterone, which is a controlled substance) pharmacies that sometimes treat you like some steroid abusing bodybuilder.

20. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit because of the very real possibility of being jailed or worse at customs. In certain countries, our very existence is illegal. It’s harder for us to get passports, especially if we have not had genital surgery.

-Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny

Just a list so people have some idea what we go through. Now go hug a trans-person!

Flux 

Note by LokiMadMonk 9 months ago

These last weeks have been full of upheaval.
Everything I had thought was steady exploded and Rich was along for the ride.
For the first time it wasn't just me that was affected.
My cats are in foster care and my stuff is in storage.
My car is no longer my car.

and here I go starting all over form scratch. All I got to say is i am getting too good at this.

grrr