I NEED YOUR HELP. But first things first Happy new year to you all. Hope everyone had a fab and kinky Christmas. I had a good one until the bills started piling through the letter box and now im up to my neck in it again. Decided im going to give chat lines a go. Ive been putting it off for ages now and I actually kind of want to try it but I was a bit nervous, a lot shy, and a little embarrassed if im honest. The thing is I know I need to make some extra cash now and as quick as possible so its time to utilise my gift of being a dirty little slut that gets off on so many dirty depraved things. I just have one problem. I have no idea what so ever of what to call myself. And thats where you lovely people come in. Id like some help picking a name. Something that says im dirty, depraved and that anything goes. I want to do no limits, kinky, any taboo phone sex and I want my name to tell everyone that im the girl to call to dicuss their deepest darkest most depraved fantasies and that ill get off on it as much as they do. inbox me with your ideas. Ill let you know what I pick very soon.xxx  

yawn, your boring me now, thanks for blocking me on the other site, not that i was going to reply any way, i cant be arsed, i don't need to justify myself to you. your nothing to me. just an insignificant blip in my life. glad i didn't waste any more of my time on you. xx

Having serious regrets now. Wishing i could turn the clock back but i know i cant. i wish i could go back in time to 2 years ago when everything was good and i was happy and the future seemed bright. back then nothing could stop me smiling.

I'm worried sick, I cant sleep and I cant stop myself thinking the worst. People think I'm overreacting and being silly but I just know something is wrong. I cant get rid of this horrible feeling and I don't know what to do. Its been a week now since you turned your phone off and you haven't switched it on at all since, you never have it off this long, I've never known your phone to be off more than an hour, I am scared something has happened to you and ill never find out. nobody would ever consider letting me know and ill be left feeling like this forever. I wish I knew where to start to find out what's happened, I don't have a clue, do I get on a train and go searching? do I just wait and hope for the best? just wish I knew you were ok, at least then these thoughts wouldn't be going through my head. I love you so much it physically hurts. I cant help but worry about you, its only because I care and because your so important to me.

You Scored as Submissive

Submissive 89%

Experimental 89%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur 89%

Degradation 79%

Masochist 71%

Bondage 61%

Switch 54%

Sadist 36%

Vanilla 21%

Dominant 11%

find the quiz at http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/

Body crusher and Harsher121 are the same person, they are a vile nasty evil person that made disgusting comments wishing harm to my friends, family and children I haven't even had yet. he told me to go kill my self because apparently my family and friends would be happier without me. all this because I wouldn't tell him where I live and said I wouldn't be meeting him. clearly he is a very sore loser and doesn't take rejection well. well he is going to wish he never messaged me. this thing doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us. I hope he doesn't breathe for much longer.

i'm now looking for new people to play with. just play, nothing else, nothing long term. I want to experiment and find out what I really like and want. looking for someone that will help me do that. i'm interested in playing with Dominant men, but id also like to experience playing with girls, not sure whether id prefer to play with sub girls or dominant girls, i'm open to suggestion.x

One question, one chance, one honest answer. You can ask me one question (TO MY INBOX ONLY). Any question, anything, no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch.
But I dare you to post this on your profile and see what people ask you...
My dare done... Now I dare you...

Discussing things properly and staying calm and rational is definitely the way forward. Its amazing what a good heart to heart can do. Feeling so much more positive now and realising if i don't say how i feel and what's going on in my head how is anyone else going to know. Things are starting to look better now.

saw this and just loved it so i had to share it. not sure who wrote it, it wasnt me but i connect with it.

Tell me I’m clever
Tell me I’m kind
Tell me I’m talented
Tell me I’m cute
Tell me I’m sensitive
Graceful and wise
Tell me I’m perfect-
But tell me the truth.

i think its what we all want deep down.

so gutted, one of my fave bands are playing birmingham tomorrow and i cant go cause im to skint, they are playing a few dates in the uk over the next 2 weeks but im working every other time. life is just not fair.

hmmmmm, trying to think of a "normal" non kinky vanilla nick name for a social network site that i dont really want just my full name on and im really struggling, ive never had a nick name, not a nice one anyway lol. can anyone help? pretty please, with a cherry on top and everything lol.

also looking forward to something happening, wont say what but if it does it will be good, it will make me so happy, and ill be so grateful. i know things will be a million times better after.  

i was reminded today that i havent written a journal entry for a while and some people like reading them so i thought it would be rude not to oblige and give everyone an update. i have been very busy with work lately and havent had much time to get online but hopefully things will get better soon and i wont be working quite so many hours.

well what have i been upto apart from work recently, lots lol, ive had some great fun with Daddy and things are really good with us, once i stopped looking for problems and just started enjoying what we have i noticed a great improvement, also ive realised if i cant be honest with him who can i be honest with and so with improved communication, honesty and patience things have really started getting good and now  i feel genuinely happy and content with what i have and ive never been happier being Daddys little girl.

I went to a rally in july and had great fun there, great music, brilliant weather (got a tan at last) good friends and family, some very sexy bikes and even sexier men, what more could a girl want eh.

i have had quite a few nights out recently and i have finally managed to fit a social life in with the stupid hours i work. im feeling much happier and a lot less stressed now ive managed to get some me time to chill out and time to catch up with friends and family.

ive been saving up for the last few months and after a withdrawral from my savings ive had a little shopping trip today and got myself the new laptop i have been wanting for so long, its soooooo amazing, so different to my last one, as in this one actually works, doesnt freeze every 30 seconds and has enough hard drive space for me to be able to store more than 3 cds of music without it telling me that i have run out of space lol. im so excited that ive finally got a decent laptop to use with loads of cool things on it, i dont think ill be putting it down for a very long time, its so shiny and pretty, and the best bit is, ITS RED, woooooohoooooo lol, it cant get any more perfect, its my favourite colour.

On that note im going to take my over excited but very tired ass to bed, i do have to go to work tomorrow unfortunatly and i need a good nights sleep as i havent had much recently.

night night all. kinky dreams.

miss shy.xxx

woohoo, its my birthday, wonder what suprises i will get today. the quicker i go to sleep, the quicker ill find out. night night.xxx

well its my birthday on thursday 24th and im looking forward to celebrating in every way i can, spending time with friends family etc and doing some serious partying i hope, i would love to think im going to get spoilt rotten and treated like a princess for the day but alas i think im getting a little to old for that. i wish i was still young enough to have a proper birthday party with a cake and candles and jelly and ice cream, sandwiches cut into triangles and party sausage rolls, coctail sausages, cheese and pinapple on sticks and french fancies and everybody dressed up in cute frilly party dresses playing pass the parcel and musical chairs lol, oh i loved my birthday parties when i was a kid, why did i have to grow up? i still get excited like i used to when i was 10 lol, i still dream about waking up to a pile of presents on the sofa, being allowed to skip school and having pancakes for breakfast. hey if anyone wants to send me presents i have a wishlist on amazon, ill give you the link if you really want to spoil me hehehe, ;-) 

right, time for bed, i got work tomorrow and at this rate ill never get up. let me know if anyone wants the link for my wish list, theres loads on there lol.

suddenly i feel like a kid that hates bed time without my comfort blanket and will do anything not to have to go and get into bed knowing its not there, i want to go and need to go, im so tired my eyes are burning and i have a headache thats making me feel sick but my comfort blanket has been taken away, the thing that made me feel safe and secure and happy isnt there anymore and no matter how hard i try i just cant get a proper nights sleep, i think i need to get seriously drunk to the point that i pass out for a day or 2 just to catch up on the sleep im not getting at the moment. oh well time to stop crying and moaning about it and just get on with things. someone pass the bottle of jack please....................

really feeling the need for pain, i want to be spanked till i cant sit down, till i have nice red hand prints on my ass. i want to be told off while im being spanked, verbal chastisement really gets me off. the physical pain always helps to take away the emotional pain, always makes me feel so much better. mmmmmmmmmmmm. im starting to dream about it cause i want it so much.

************************** xxx.Happy.Birthday.Daddy.xxx   **************************

Hope you have a lovely day and get everything you want and deserve. Lots of love and kinky wishes from your special girl.xxx

just saw this quote on another website (f*****e) and it really struck a chord with me. it is just so true.

In every girl's life, there is a force, a presence, a purpose. A Dominant she lives and breathes to love and honor. Yet remember this - A Top is for tonight, a Dom is for however long they're needed, a Master as long as they seek Mastery, but a Daddy? Well... A Daddy is forever... : )

My daddy means the world to me and im so glad im his little girl. i cant imagine ever being someone elses girl.

im now looking for a girl to join my Master and i for some kinky fun. the girl should be very open minded, kinky and experimental. you should be local (in birmingham) or willing to travel to U/us. W/we love age play role playing and dressing up and would like someone to join in with this. no time wasters please, if you are interested in talking about this please get in touch by sending me a message and we can discuss what we are looking for in more detail.

hopefully ill hear from some cute sexy girls soon.xxx

oh my god, i have fallen completely totally head over heals in love......................................

with about 20 pairs of shoes. i have to have at least some of them, i need them i wont be complete without them. shoes are so important to a girl and she cant dress properly without them, they can make you look and feel sexy all on their own. a great pair of shoes can make any outfit look expensive and classy(or cheap and slutty if thats your aim). does anybody want to buy me shoes? i would be eternally thankful and i would even put photos up of me wearing them. please, pretty pretty please, this angelic little girl has a shoe addiction and it needs satisfying. im getting the shakes already, please help me.  xxx

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YOU LOVELY KINKY PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!  hope everyone has had a good day. im not a massive fan of valentines day but it is a good reminder to tell  someone just how special they are and how much they mean to you. not that we shouldnt do that all the time but i suppose today is as good a time as any just to emphasise just how important these people are to us. even if we dont always say it in the right way, the thought is always there. 

ive had a good day, cooked myself a lovely meal and sat and watched a film. i think its almost time for bed now though as i need to be up quite early in the morning. i have quite a lot to do. night night.xxx.

had an interesting evening tonight. learned a couple of important lessons. im glad i did, the most important being to have a lot more respect for myself, if i dont nobody else will.

music is a strange thing, you can hear a song a million times and it will mean nothing and then suddenly you will hear it and connect with it and it will all make sense to you. i heard this song today and although its not the sort of music i like the words really meant something to me today. it really fits how ive been feeling and made me feel better.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror: "Why am I doing this to myself?" Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf. Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, Just be true to who you are! Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah! The more I try the less it's working, yeah 'Cause everything inside me screams no no no. Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, There's nothing wrong with who you are! Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA! Just go, and leave me alone! Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight, With a smile, that's my home! That's my home, no... Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars! Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing, It's okay not to be okay... Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising, Just be true to who you are!

listening to the song, it feels like its almost been written for me. life will get better, for now im just going to concentrate on the things i have control of and making the best of what i have. the new year may have started a little late for me but it is going to start now. the optimism and enthusiasm are starting to kick in and im making a plan for the rest of the year. this year is my year and i will get what i have been dreaming of.

no matter how hard the last week or so has been for me i have learnt one lesson that will help me live the rest of my life in the way i want to. i have learnt i am definatly a little girl/baby girl subbie/slave. i need to be owned by a daddy dom, i need that loving affectionate relationship that i can only get from a daddy, i want that protected feeling, the feeling of knowing no matter what happens he will love me and guide me and teach me and help me achieve all my hopes and dreams.This baby girl needs alot of attention to feel loved and secure, lacking this, is one sure fire way to get a negetive reaction from me. i am an adventurous and excitable little girl that needs to and wants to experience it "ALL" but in the safety of my Daddy's control. i wants to stand on my own feet but i need His strong firm hand, His tender guidance, and His softly spoken words of encouragment. and i want to know that the safest place of all is with my Daddy. i will love Him madly, will follow Him to the ends of the earth once i have placed my hard won trust in Him. i will run from my own shadow at times but will fight the world for my Daddy. i am loyal and devoted, loving and playful and will bloom into a beautiful flower with the right Daddy Dom. i am a scared little girl and a strong i can do it myself woman, and i am His baby girl and He is my Daddy!

that will be the perfect relationship for me and i know that once i have it and it is all in place i will be the most perfect and loving and adoring little girl for the right daddy dom.

well what can i say except at least now i know what i really really really want and need to be able to be the best subbie/slave that i can be.

well all i can say is its a bloody good job im not at work today, i must have fallen asleep on the sofa and just woke up, not had any real sleep at all this week so im going to go to bed now and have a good few hours. i do hope it makes me feel a bit better, this lack of sleep is making me feel quite poorly and i feel a migraine trying to start. i hope a few hours sleep will hold it off. its amazing what the effect of stress is on my body and mind, i really need to get things sorted cause its doing me much harm now, not able to sleep no appetite and certainly no patience with any one or anything. its starting to effect me at work now so its time to try to push things to one side and wait for them to resolve themselves. ive started to realise there is nothing i can personally do to change the current situation, lord knows ive tried everything i can think of, so im going to just hope time will ease the pain and that eventually things will work out for the best, one thing this has showed me though is how i really feel, and what i really want. i just hope i can still have it and that the last 6 months havent just been a great big lie. im sure ill soon find out one way or another.

taking each day as it comes hoping each new one will be better than the last. going to go to bed now and try to get some sleep. its been a while since i slept properly and im starting to notice the effect is not great.

must remember to be more positive and that everything happens for a reason whether i like it or not. things will get better and whatever happens in the future many lessons have been learnt and i will get what i need one day.

Well i havent had the best start to the new year and i have started off feeling rather unenthusiastic and underwhelmed. Im struggling to sleep and concentrate on anything at the moment. I find myself lying awake wondering if things will improve and if i will ever get what i want from life. Will i ever live my dreams or will i just stand on the side lines watching others achieve and surpass their dreams, feeling envious and even jealous which i really feel is an unattractive and unpleasant trait to have but still i cant help myself. All i want is to be happy and fulfilled, to make another feel happy and proud just because i am theirs. God i hope i achieve that one day. I hope im not destined to be the one that watches others do everything i dream of and never even get to have a taste of the things i want to do and be.

Well im going to try to sleep now as i have to go to work in 6 hours but im not hopeful. Thats the story of my life at the moment, always wanting but never getting. I do hope i get a kick of optimism and enthusiasm soon.

littlemissshy xxx

the first entry of 2012, and what can i say, xmas was a quiet one this year, and as for new years eve, i wish i had slept through it. but here goes with some positive thoughts...................

well its the start of the new year. not sure what it has in store for me yet but whatever happens 2012 will be a million times better than 2011. im more certain of what i want now and even more sure of what i dont want. this year im going to be happy, im going to enjoy myself and im going to get what i want from life.

i hope everyone had a fabulous kinktastic xmas and new year. hope this year is great for everyone.

i wish you all love, peace, happiness and loads and loads of sexy fun.

little miss shy. xxx

wondering if im cut out for all this, this isnt quite what i expected when i started out. im really starting to doubt if i can handle it. what i really want is to be valued, loved and protected. im starting to think i may be looking in the wrong place for that.

i need to have one quick rant, i was trying to think of something intelligent and constructive to say but really cant be bothered now.

why are some people so rude, nasty and pathetic. every action has a reaction, dont be suprised if that reaction is one you dont like when the action that caused it was you being a complete dick head. treat someone badly and unfairly and they are unlikely to be nice to you after. some people just dont deserve the air they breathe, infact they make me want to choke the air out of their lungs, just to resuscitate them and choke them again whilst poking their eyes out with a rusty spoon. my god ex's are infuriating, get a grip, move on, stop blaming others and look in the mirror before throwing all those stones.

well its my favourite time of year again, halloween. i went out on saturday night and had a great time, dressed as a cat. the only time i really like fancy dress is halloween, i love the effort people put into their costumes, its always a great night. met some lovely people and got paid a few very kind compliments which never does a girls ego any harm. ;-)

im now suffering hangover induced insomnia, hence im sat here browsing the internet looking for things to occupy my mind and listening to the radio till i can fall asleep, i have to say for a rock radio station they are playing some rubbish tonight though.

maybe i should give up and try to sleep. its a shame the brain doesnt have a switch to just turn it off, to stop all thoughts swimming around and keeping me awake.

arggggggghhhhhhh, i think to much. wish i could just switch off these thoughts and go to sleep.

happy halloween everyone.x

well whilst im sat in bed wide awake suffering from insomnia wishing i was in the arms of my master, watching a freeky horror film (house of wax) and window shopping online i have found an amazing corset, i want it so bad, beautiful bright red leather, it would be so perfect. i just wish i had the cash to buy it.

i wonder how i can make £50 in a week so i can have it?????????????? if anyone has any ideas feel free to let me know. lol

Well im back from my weekend at sonisphere festival, actually been back for 2 weeks now but time just goes so quick and i dont seem to be able to catch up with it.

i had the most amazing weekend of my life. it was undescribable, i dont think i have ever been so amazed in all my life, the bands i saw were incredible, 3 from the front barrier for the big 4 (slayer anthrax megadeath and metalica for non metal fans) there were a few moments when i thought i might get trampled to death whilst i was stood there for almost 11hours in the baking sun but man it was worth it. i dont think i have ever been so grateful for 2 sips of luke warm water but in the heat and not being able to move it was like a gift from god, it was an experience i will never forget and will be forever grateful for.

thats it for now, ill stop talking nonsense for a while and get to bed.x

Sleep seems to escape me tonight and im sat here wide awake with a torrent of insane unexplainable thoughts going through my head wondering at the same time how im going to get up for work in a few hours. my head feels like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces missing, the picture doesnt make sense, its unclear what it is but something is missing...................Maybe its the excitement of my impending adventure next week, 4 days of fun with amazing music and copious amounts of alcohol. can it get better than that???.............anyway im going to try to let my eyes close and drift off to dream land.

well its my birthday tomorrow and im going to be 27, another year older, another year closer to the big 30. i wonder what the next year will bring me. its going to be my year, ive spent to many years doing what i thought would make others happy and now im going to concentrate on doing what makes me happy, lets hope it all works out.

well im back, been away for a while as i moved house and had no internet for a month, im loving my new home and have just about settled in and got used to everything, plus found myself a decent pub to call my local so it cant be bad.

dont know how ive coped with no internet for a whole month, i have missed it so much. i suppose you dont realise how much you value something until its gone.

anyway thats all for now, hopefully ill be back very soon.xxx

Happy Valentines Day to everyone. I have had a lovely valentines evening with my Master, He really makes me feel truely loved and wanted.  I am so happy that i am his. Life is finally starting to feel complete now that he is in my life. He makes me feel totally amazing like im the most beautiful girl in the world and that i can do anything i dream of and for that i am truely grateful. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have him as my master.

 i truely love him with every inch of my heart.