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and as I turned my head to look behind me to the cold eyes that looked back it was not pity I saw nor lust as I hoped. It was the hunger. he hadn't hurt me, no to him I knew this was nothing, the pink of the slap earlier had already faded and even my arm was no longer throbbing.
“hurt me” my voice was smaller then I had thought possible it wavered unsteadily and I was sure he hadn't heard me I hadn't even intended to say it...not out loud at least yet it had slipped out, small and unsure as it was. And I was dieing hoping he had heard. “please” this last word I found myself speaking out of honest desperation as I knelt immobilized staring suddenly at the floor.
I was still clutching my shoulder when I felt his fingers twist painfully in my hair pulling me to my feet impossibly fast. He forced my face right in front of his, the deep set blue eyes staring strait into me. on instinct I turned my eyes down only to feel the blinding sting across me cheek, his grip on my hair was still strong,and I was unable to move as the back of his hand met me with dead accuracy.
“Look at me” his voice was cold and dangerous and I felt a mix of anger and detachment in it that I wished was not there as it made his command all the harder to follow.
“please” I felt so stupid were did that useless word keep coming from “please” it was all that would come whimpering out as I opened my mouth it was all I could think as I failed miserably at lifting my eyes to his as he had told me to “oh please”
I knew it was coming but could do nothing to stop it my eyes would not stop staring down! I wanted to look up, wanted to do as I was told, wanted to beg him not to hit me out of disappointment but it came harder then before, he used his palm and the blow came unexpectedly from the other side causing blindingly white lights to flash before my still down turned eyes.
“Oh please Sir!” it was a squeal more then anything else like and injured animal. In my daze I did manager to look up into the ice blue death-stare that was still unwaveringly directed at my very soul. “please”
But it wasn't anger, the look on his face, it was annoyance he was becoming bored with me and my mind raced on how to fix it. He could hit me, I wanted him to! He could use me, I would let him. but these things I also knew he would be able to do with most any other girl. And so with an uneasy fear in my belly I managed to keep my eyes on his. I was fighting with myself trying to keep from drifting, my eyes would dart away from his gaze and I had to force them back. but how long would he have us stand there in the darkening hall in silence. how long would he make me wait standing on my toes before him with the simple and nearly impossible task of looking into his powerful eyes. The thought I had had of kissing him now seemed like a silly one to me. this Man did not kiss girls like me he played with them.
“good girl” he said finally as a cruel satisfied smile spread across his face. “and now I will give you what you asked for” |
