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Pan Female Slave, 48,  South Dakota
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Friends:
RxStrengthDomFreetoUsebreakmeandtakemeTheRage66TOTALLYCURIOUS

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 lillyanna

 Female Slave

 South Dakota

 48

 Pan

 Not Listed

 11/14/08

 

 Lives For:

 Canes and Crops (Beginner)

 Loves:

 Collars (Beginner)

 Corner Time

 Hair Pulling

 Spanking

 Vibrators (Expert)

 Photography

 Likes:

 Begging (Beginner)

 Humiliation (Beginner)

 Leashes (Beginner)

 Curious About:

 Fire Play (Beginner)

 Mental Bondage

 Obedience Training

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Public Play

 Sensory Play

 Speech Restrictions

 Wax Play

 Dislikes:

 Chastity

 Orgasm Control

 Hates:

 Erotic touch (Beginner)

 Role Playing

 Cybering

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Journal Entries:
4/2/2016 9:29:34 PM
I am orphaned again.

2/12/2015 6:21:10 PM
I was watching a show .. some show set in the Victorian times. They always talk so delightfully desriptive and seem to have a different way of saying things .. especially in a British accent lol. She said to him ... "when alone with my thoughts, they are always governed with reason. When with you they are governed with desperate thoughts of you." I had a sudden "AhhhHaaa" moment. For me it has always been the opposite. When with Someone ... controlled, belonging to Someone .. have felt like my thoughts were governed with that person. Smooth, Focused. Without that person or away from that Someone, they have felt scrambled. It's like a scribble on the page ... a mess, tangle with no focus. Frenzied ink scribble on the page with no direction, everything out of control and jittering. Thoughts with no direction, chitter chatting without sensibility and coming out with odd and unreasonable things. That only seem ridiculous when the He sheds light on them. When belonging to Someone ... in their presence ... it is more like a lightly wobbled line. Because no one is totally smooth ever. I become a person of purpose ... reason and direction.

5/22/2014 10:56:41 AM

 I dont want to be your entire world, your every thought, in every breathe. I would be happy being your morning coffee, your hanging car keys, your wallet. Something that belongs to you .. Something part of your normal everyday life .. but if lost, throws off your whole day.


9/22/2013 3:09:58 PM

Dominants i have run accross .. seem to be in a hurry for things. They com off as wanting to pass over the get to know you part and straight onto the goodies
my 2 cents.
i am not an athority on girls and how to get one, by any means, so what i say is just a supposed possibility .. another option to try. what about maybe letting her come to you? i used to know a Man that would go about it this way and it worked for him. He would just be around her .. talked alot .. without sexual overtones or any feel that there is an 'ulterior motive'. just being friends. no pressure. making her feel comfortable with him .. making her feel important and smart .. boosting her ego a bit (just a bit). seizing the oportunity if possible to defend her .. protect her. tease her a little .. make her laugh. always talking together .. always friends and nothing else. after a little time .. the girl he had his eyes on started to wonder where he was when he didnt come around like normal. which he did once in a while to make that feeling come up in her. after a while she would become attached to him ... and he would then start testing the water a bit slowly. maybe if she said she was tired he would say "go to bed then" and see if she did. gradualy things would change and one day when he was pretty sure he was in her mind (which is very important) .. he would push her a bit. and he knew how by then because he knew Everything about her from talking all the time. and one time he would push her untill she was fighting with herself to do what he wanted and please him even though it was hard for her. THEN he knew he had her .. that is when he would talk to her about being his and claim her. it would take maybe a few months for this to come to fruition ... but it created a foundation that lasted. And in that course of time ... He knew if she was the right one ... because he knew her. And if it turned out that for him she was not 'the one' then it just stayed friends and didnt go farther and no one got hurt. It is a good way to make a friend ... and a good way to start a solid relationship. With patience and self control.
Take what you find is valuable in this .. and forget the rest. It is only a supposed possibility. my 2 cents.


9/16/2013 4:18:28 PM

Randomness ... "you are cuter than a puppy napping with a kitten. Both dreaming of cupcakes"


8/31/2013 6:21:29 PM

Who understands that it’s about so much more than sex? Ultimately it’s about trust. And belonging. And transcending everything we thought we knew about sex and love and relating to another person first.


10/16/2012 7:24:17 AM

http://underhishand.com/betcha-newton-was-a-dom

"I would almost guaran-damn-tee you that naughty little giggle on the outside is a scream of anguish on the inside. Pretty soon the giggle will give way to a smirk, the smirk to a shrug, the shrug to indifference, indifference to disrespect. Disrespect to Goodbye.

But hey, you wanna blow it off and think it’s “cute” or “funny” because you’re tired, busy, don’t care… go ahead. But refer to Newton’s Laws and Pet Peeve #3 when s/he takes off after the next dom who doesn’t blow it off. The one who finds it worthy of “an equal and opposite reaction” will take your prize."

Most people realize this all to late.


7/21/2012 8:14:36 PM

It is one thing to know that your heart beats faster and there is a lighter spring in your step when you feel your nature and can express that nature -  that you can live as you were meant to live - and another to understand that this part of your nature has no real current place to exist. To know that nature and what the expression of that nature can do and to not be able to express that nature is too incongruous for my mind to handle right now.

 

I read this today .. I feel this today


12/9/2011 9:07:20 AM

What are the differences between a bogus submissive and a genuine one? To me, the difference is a matter of character and nature. Some people play a submissive role. But some of us find that submission reveals our truest selves, our deepest, most authentic nature. Submission isn’t about what we do. Submission is about who we are.

The acid test comes the first time the Master directs you to do something you really don’t want to do. Many women are willing to play a submissive role temporarily—as long as she trusts that the Master will do exactly what she wants him to do to please her. There is nothing wrong with that. But it isn’t submission, it’s just cooperation. True submission is complete surrender. Of course you want pleasure, and a good Master wants that for you. But TPE submission means completely letting go of your own will, and trusting him, without setting your own pleasure as a condition. For a true submissive, that very act of surrender is the pleasure—that intoxicating rush of letting go and giving yourself to him.

You may think it sounds passive and easy to surrender your will. Power exchange is far from easy. It is a conscious choice you must make, over and over again, that requires a great deal of courage and inner strength. Saying yes to him means that you must be strong enough to say no to everyone else, including yourself. True submission means having true power, and then giving it away. You must own your own power, before you can give it away.

I have been trying to find the best words to explain this to someone and she has just plucked them right out of my thoughts. Here is the link if you might like to read the rest.

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2011/12/deceptive-submissive-the-flip-side-of-the-predator-dominant/


5/28/2011 12:38:05 PM

I read this on a persons journal today and thought it to be a very .. defining and true statement. It is so easy to get Control and manipulate confused. And so many want the one so badly .. that they are willing to confuse the two.

"A Dominant doesn't bend to her will......she bends to his. He doesn't manipulate, he doesn't have to.....he controls."

I also believe that He doesn't bend her will, she bends it of her own free will. He sets things in motion that she then makes a choice from. I was just having a conversation about this very thing the other day. It is seen in every relationship.


4/2/2011 10:01:47 PM

Someone I have met from here once told me that I was the most self aware slave he ever met.

Recently I had one of those days at work when I had to be "bossy" so to speak ... in charge and authoritative in order to get the job done. It caused a tight and frustrating feel to the day that later turned into a bad mood because of some other things. I knew what could change it all. What i needed to be returned to that soft female i am when i am not at work. To be put in my place ... to be held there.

Sometimes it is not always the best thing to be self aware.


4/2/2011 9:13:01 AM

Yesterday my best friends got married .. to each other. The ceremony was beautiful, simple, wonderful. There was a part in it that just seemed to stick in my mind. The officiant said ... Allow them to be human, no Husband wears a halo, no wife has wings. I was teasing my friend in the car later that the officiant just un did all the work he has done in trying to get his new wife to believe that he is God. lol

It is a real and honest truth .... no matter how much we think/would like to believe they are gods ... Masters are human first. They make mistakes, just like everyone else.


3/6/2011 7:22:47 PM

I saw this today on someones journal and thought it was very accurate.

“To be completely woman you need a Master, and in Him a compass for your life. You need a Man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone Him its no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long." -Marlene Dietrich (1904 to 1992)


3/6/2011 8:12:50 AM

Capricorn

Never take no for an answer, they are passionate, sensuous and hate rejection. They need to be loved and are faithful and dutiful. Capricorns are ambitious and hard working – in both love and life!

I dont know about never take no for an answer lol ... in this Life a slave kind a has to lol


3/1/2011 3:18:22 PM

Everyone in every day life gets so wrapped up in themselves. What I want. What people say about me. What I did. What happened to me. My bank account. My Life. My car. My job. My needs.

As a result, we can be overly paranoid, competitive, frustrated, cocky, indulgent, critical, self-absorbed, self-loathing, self aggrandizing and overly analytical. We spend a lot of time living in our own heads.

At the end of the day ..... ask yourself “what are 3 things I did to make somebody else’s life better today?”. You might just find that will bring a bigger feeling then all those other things.


2/12/2011 9:52:26 PM

Well .. I have never been blocked before lol

and all I said was "4". If you didnt want to know my number then why did you ask me?


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