lillacie401

thanksgiving humor

How To Cook A Turkey:

Step 1: Go buy a turkey 
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven 
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey 
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens 
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink 
Step 7: Turk the bastey 
Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get 
Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer 
Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey 
Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours 
Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey 
Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick 
Step 14: Turk the carvey 
Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch 
Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey 
Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out

ALL I WANT

ALL I WANT IS A LOVING STRONG FIRM AND HANDSOME DADDY.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE A GOOD GIRL.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE LOVED AND CHERISHED.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE HELD BY STRONG, FIRM AND LOVING ARMS.

ALL I WANT IS TO SIT ON DADDY'S LAP AND TELL HIM HOW MY DADDY WENT.

ALL I WANT IS FOR DADDY TO DRY MY TEARS WHEN I'M SAD OR HURT.

ALL I WANT IS FOR DADDY TO BRUSH THE TANGLES OUT OF MY HAIR WHEN I CANT DO IT.

ALL I WANT IS FOR DADDY TO READ TO ME.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE TUCKED IN BED WITH MILK AND A NIGHT LIGHT BY DADDY TO CHASE THE BAD MONSTERS AWAY.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE ABLE TO CALL OUT TO DADDY WHEN I GET SCARED DURING A RAINSTORM.

ALL I WANT IS TO RUN TO DADDY WHEN I NEED A KISS, HUG, OR JUST PLAIN COMFORT WHEN I'M FEELING BLUE

ALL I WANT IS TO BE LOVED BY DADDY

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW THE REAL ME AND NOT THE PERCEIVED ME.

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO KNOW DADDY I'M HERE FOR YOU TO AS YOU HAVE BEEN FOR ME.

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU DADDY TO THINK OF ME WHEN YOU ARE FEELING BLUE, THINK OF THE SMILE THAT I HAVE ONLY FOR YOU

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU DADDY TO PLAY AND LAUGH WITH YOUR LITTLE LACIE GIRL.

ALL I WANT IS FOR DADDY TO KNOW I MISS HIM WHEN HE IS NOT THERE.

ALL I WANT IS FOR DADDY TO KNOW YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE.

A letter to my MASTER

Your gaze arouses me.

Your touch inflames me.

Yours words excite me.

From the tiny, feather light butterflies, that I can barely feel. Is it real? To the solid, "thwack" of your belt across my thighs, or the stinging of the crop on my arse cheeks.

I am, as always, in total awe of your self-control. Myself, as usual, I am nothing. I am at the mercy of my desires. Consumed with need. As I writhe in my bonds, silently hoping, you remain calm, watching. As I cry out for release, you laugh, its hopeless. As I yell with pain, you remain, hard faced, cool.

You watch me, detached; evaluating each touch you honour me with. Whereas I am wriggling, squirming, pleasure or pain. Your slut. Waiting for the moment you might want to enter me, or might grant me release.

My Master.

My body is yours. My cunt is yours. This whore is yours.

Take me when you will. Abuse me at your will. I take what you give, willingly, pleadingly. Knowing that the pain heightens the pleasure when it comes. If it comes. If you think that I deserve it. I try so hard to please. Oh God, I try! But I'm imperfect. Too slow. Too Clumsy. Too consumed with my need for you; and I deserve my punishments. Deserve the belt which licks, lazily, at my pussy. Or burns, so expertly, on my delicate arse hole. Deserve the crop against my legs, but relish the light strokes across my clit. The tickle of the leather being dragged slowly across my belly. Down... Down...

Oh God. Once again my body will give me away. Arching up towards that light stoke. A gentle moan escapes my lips. You open me, and I feel the hard, rounded handle of your crop enter me, slowly. All so deliciously slowly. My already dripping cunt allows this to slip in easily.

"oh! You dirty little bitch. Your cunt is so greedy! Do you think you deserve any more pleasure?"

"No Master" I moan, helpless, as I squirm, the crop handle moving slowly in, and out, in, and out. Out. Out. "Oh!" I gasp as I am left empty again. It wasn't much to fill me, but it had been pleasure. And the pain is forgotten. You raise the crop to my lips. I kiss it and thank you for the stripes that still glow bright against my thighs.

"Think my greedy slut needs to learn some restraint."

And you are gone. For a moment. Leaving me, bound, wrists and ankles spread wide open, for you to play with. Your collar, marking me as yours, rubbing my neck. 

A glow as you approach tells me what you have in store for me. I can't stop a tiny moan of fear escaping. You know that this is tough for me.

"Kara, you know how I love this. Be good for me."

I know you love it. I bite my lip. The burning candle held before my eyes, which widen with fear. I can see it slowly tipping. Slow motion. A drip falls toward my nipple. It hits. Mild warmth at first, pleasant, fooling me. Then burning. White hot. I buck, cry out. It cools and skin tightens beneath the wax. You smile – "Shhhhhhh"

Repeated. Slowly, then faster. Drips and splashes, groaning. My body straining against its restraints. My futile efforts to escape the bonds.

"God kara, you look so beautiful"

My Masters voice. His praise. My insides melt. The pain is nothing. I am nothing, just a thing to please you. All sensation is yours to give, to remove. I feel my pulse in my excited pussy. Can feel the moisture soaking my legs, and running down to my arse. The candle is put away. Your hand calms me. My ragged breathing slows.

"Think I might take you now." Matter of fact, casually, no rush.

Oh god yes, this is what I want, what I need.

"Or maybe not"

My hopes dashed. Releasing one of my hands, you tell me "Do yourself first" 

My face colours, but I am so desperate for release, nothing can shame me now.

My hand is between my legs in an instant. 

"Slowly baby, one finger first"

I take a deep breath, and slowly push a finger between the slick, wet lips. It slides in without resistance. Your face is so close to my pussy I can feel the sigh that escapes. One finger is just teasing, nowhere near enough.

"How's it taste sweetie?"

"Good," I reply

I lick and suck my own juices off my finger until you guide my hand back down. I brush my clit as I push back inside.

Oh that's nice.

Two fingers now, three. Pushing into me. I look at you, my Master, silently imploring.

"Not yet" you order.

Fucking myself now. Alternating rubbing my clit, with burying my fingers. Your breath ragged against my thigh.

"Kara don't you dare cum"

I keep rubbing, shifting my fingers slightly, just off that sensitive spot. I'm not going to cum. Not until you say.

I can feel it, so close, almost there. Stop. Almost there, stop. I keep this rhythm. Knowing you are enjoying my torture all the more for making me do it to myself. Waiting for the OK to go over the edge.

Building, my clit swollen and hard. My juices dribbling. You push a finger in next to my own, just to wet it. Then slide it oh so slowly, into my arse. You know this will tip me over. I can't bare it. It's too much. I need release.

"No kara"

My breath is desperate and uneven. I concentrate for all I'm worth on not cumming. I can't keep doing this to myself. I try to stop but you take over. The pleasure is constant now. No escape. Just that burning, building between my legs. Fingering my arse and teasing my aching clit.

I can't stop, I cant hold it, I cant! Its going to happen, and I know you will be so angry, so disappointed in me.

"Nooooooooooooo" I cry. Clenching my tummy, grinding my teeth, fighting it. I won't cum, I won't. I...

"OH!"

Everything stops. Fingers withdrawn. Empty. Cold.

Tears of frustration well in my eyes.

You're pushing my legs up, oh yes! At last. I feel your cock, hot, stiff, huge, you glide into me, slipping in so easily despite your size.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh," I moan, and the weight of your body against my swollen clit is the final ecstasy.

But its OK, because your voice in my ear says "Cum now baby," harshly, breathlessly. 

And Oh my GOD! Do I cum! An explosion. Everything I held back for so long erupts.

I scream. 

You fuck. Hard. 

My legs up over your shoulders, I feel the full length of you, deep, deep inside me. So powerful. You grip my collar with one hand, as you slam into me.

Still screaming, still cumming.

Satisfaction at last. So good. Soooooooo good.

Shaking, twitching, by body wracked with the tremors that you have brought me. You hold me. Tears drying on my cheeks. You stroke my hair gently

"Master," I breathe.

"Good girl," you whisper.

Heaven.

i want to spend time with you but each time i speak with you i get tongue tied and feel like a little kid with her first crush help me get over this so i can be the woman you want me to be for you

'Never let anyone believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. 

JEALOUSY IS SIMPLY AND CLEARLY THE FEAR THAT U DO NOT HAVE VALUE..

You would never understand my determination, not because You are not bright enough to comprehend but it is you are to comfortable in being average. Thankful to my parents for teaching me mediocre was NOT acceptable

 I read somewhere that love is supposed to be an unselfish thing. Who in the world would ever think that? We are human beings, by definition we are selfish people. And I don’t mean that we are 100 percent selfish at all times but let’s face it, we want things the way we want them. We would like people to act like we would act in any and all situations. We want people who say that they love us, to show it in the way that we think they should. It is not acceptable for them to show love in any way that we are unfamiliar with. “If he loved me, he would have sent flowers.” “If she loved me she wouldn’t have worked on my birthday.” “If they loved me they would have put all of their other shit aside, no matter what they’re going through, and came to my party.” I know who I am and how I am. I know how I feel and think. What I don’t know, is what it’s like to be you. I don’t know how different I would act and think if I had your life. It’s easy for me to look into your life and say, “I wouldn’t have done that,” or “I would never think that,” or “if I was them I would do this,” when I could never know what it’s like to be you. I will never have your experiences, your troubles, your joys – not like you’ve had them. I would like to apologize to my loved ones for being selfish – to everyone that I’ve ever judged, that I’ve ever wronged, that I’ve ever spoken a bad word to or about, I am sorry. That being said, I cannot guarantee that I will never do these things again - after all I am only human. And I forgive you, if you wish to be forgiven, for being human. By Talisha Bell

You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today's the day. Say it; this is going to be my day.

by Emilith

I'm sitting here at 515 in the morning because i cant sleep  i cant eat i cant just move because im being chased thru cyber space by someone that wont quit  he is making my life a living breathing hell no means no i dont want you i quit this is what i want from you stop hijacking my profiles and sending shit t there people like im the one whose doing it any one that has ever meet me knows i dont send out messages that says i want to be fucked in my ass or i want to gag on you dick be serious and for those that actually thought i did send it shame on you i may do alot of things but im not that damn out right with anything yet

i want to be free of his yolk and i never sleep with this man i barely kissed him eww not my type but i did try my mistake never fall anything  because you will never stand up for the right one

"Bowmen bend their bows when they wish to shoot: unbrace them when the shooting is over. Were they kept always strung they would break and fail the archer in time of need. So it is with men. If they give themselves constantly to serious work, and never indulge awhile in pastime or sport, they lose their senses and become mad." -- Herodotus