LeFemmeElle

Female Submissive, 42

Oh my, how titillating it is to chase the fantasy. To engulf our thoughts with whips and forceful play. To succumb to the swift passing of a desire for momentary pleasures. But to what gain? Is this merely a venue of experimentation? Portraits of lies and misrepresentation? For I too am guilty of passing pleasures. I find myself excited in the pleasures of a D/s exchange, only to end up disappointed in the thoughts of its true manifestation. With spring fever in the air I have fantasies abound. But to whom will I actually share? My expressions and desires are not perceived as openly as I would like in my reality, hence my affiliation, and still to no avail. And now I try to understand the intentions here. A diary perhaps, where the written word takes form, and the echoes touch the ears of like minded. Perhaps in that alone satisfaction is reached.

The expectations of living out what we once experienced can override our true desires. We seek to restore the life once lived, especially when it was amazing. But not everyone can bring that side of you to the surface, to fruition. Going from one moment to the next hoping that maybe this time, this time it will bring you that satisfaction, that quench, that embrace of intense release. In the end it merely takes away from your deeper purpose of growth and serenity. Rest within yourself to know what is true. Live to believe beyond the life you know. Be lost from expectation and fear not the echoes of imperfection. Rope the distance between all which confines. Intertwine the sphere of energy and heat contained within you. Slip in and out of breath and fall into the image of wonderment. Of joy. Of fear. Of hope. Of growing. Of experiencing. Of being lost. Take the time to kindle your hunger with a true fire, fire that grows to consume, not mindless consumption, but rather directed by desire and fueled by the oxygen of those who breathe in the fervor of your hunger. Leave the smoke and ash behind. Remove your shiny veneer and expose yourself to yourself. For what you seek is the hunger for your own self expression, self indulgence, self exhilaration. For the greatest pleasure. This does not come from brief encounters, but rather from a commitment to the souls depths...your own soul. For Andre ~

The weekend passed with such beautiful delights. I found myself in the hot sun, walking for hours thinking about the dynamics shared here on CollarMe. I by no means have it figured out, but I realized I needed to change my profile and disclose more about what it is I'm seeking. And who it is that I see in myself. The spectrum here is quite diverse, and while I think I will find what it is I seek here, over something vanilla in nature, I am still trying to understand where it is that I fit best. I suppose like most things in my life, I like moderation, the balance of the senses. One of my hikes this weekend was just tortuous. From the moment I got out of the car it was an uphill climb. After an hour of uphill, walking on asphalt, then plain dirt, I had to turn around. There was simply no variety, no sense of peace came over me, emotionally, spiritually or mentally. Physically I felt like I never got that warm up that says, "Yes, I'm ready for something harder". Mentally I was focused on wondering when things were going to get spicy and surprise me - never happened, and emotionally, I just felt frustrated. Anyway, I'm talking about this because it's so important to me that my dynamic with someone has that variety, has that element of surprise and unpredictability. I don't want to be told what to do or in turn always tell someone what they should be doing. But I also know that finding that right path takes making those first steps and feeling out the terrain. Thanks for reading.

Thank you everyone for all your wonderful emails - Doms and subs alike. I've been doing my best to read them all and get back to you if our interests are aligned. Don't be shy to make a friend request either. I'm hoping to spend some time here getting to know the community better. If you're in California, specifically along the coast, I hope you're able to enjoy this beautiful, sunny weather. It's a great time for outdoor sexual play. Ciao Boys.

Our sexuality is our deepest expression. Without it we merely go through life numb, not knowing the true extent of our nature. To build relationships in its absence, or to continue in relationships without ever getting lost in it, seems so empty to me. What really boggles my mind, is finding that deep connection with someone, where sexuality and spirituality are no longer distinguishable, where the physical - no matter its nature - is so intense that all senses climax, enabling you to get lost with pleasure..... and to know people who walk away from this, settling for the comfort of knowing their misery. I'm so sad for them. That they will go through this life always wondering what that must be like.

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