lalleee

Reading Orlando by Virginia Woolf.  similiar to my interpretation of acquiescence:

 Orlando, a man, whom at the age of 30 sudenly turns into a woman and goes on a sea voyage back home. There starts her musings at the discomfitures and wonders of being a woman.

"she thought giving her legs a kick, 'these skirts are plauguey things to have about
one's heels. Yet it  is the loveliest in the world. Never have I seen my own skin  look to such advantage as now.   Could I, however, leap overboard and swim in clothes like these? No! Therefore, I should have to trust to the protection of a blue jacket. Do I object to that? Now do I?' she wondered...Dinner came, and then it was the captin himself - Captain Nicholas Benedict Bartolus, a sea -captain of distinguished aspect, who did it for her as he helped her to a slice of conrned beef.
'A little of fat, Ma'am? he asked. 'Let me cut you just the tiniest little slice the size of your finger nail.' At those words a delicious tremor ran through her frame. Birds sang; the torrents rushed. It recalled the feeling of  indescribable pleasure with which she had first seen Sasha (russian princess whom Orlando pursued as a boy), hundred years ago. Then she had pursued, now she fled.  Which is the greatest ecstasy? The man's or the woman's? And are they not perhaps the same? No, she thought, this is the most delicious (thanking the captain but refusing), to refuse, and see him frown.  Well, she would if he wished it, have the very thinnest, smallest shiver in the world. This was the most delicious of all, to yield and see him smile.

'For nothing' she thought, 'is more heavenly than to resist and to yield; to yield than to resist. Surely it throws the spirit into such a rapture as nothing else can."

Spending couple months in Australia produced one strange effect. I got myself into cooking.

I was brought up in a household where my mother had a high careear and worked all the time. She never really spent time doing any house work. At her age, she owns and navigates an iphone but doesn't know how to use a microwave. Since I was small, when I wasn't up to any good, my parents made me wince by saying,, I'd end up being a housewife.  So like my mother, I had a career and my idea of cooking consisted of boiling water and microwaving - a step advanced than my mom.

 Then I quit the job traveled ended up in Gold Coast, got a roommate and he was an amazing cook. We made dinners together, it was fun. he taught me couple things. Had another friend who, at her dinner party, whipped up from scratch, caramelized onion & goat cheese pastry out of her small kitchen in a very small toaster oven. I was blown away. She had made something out of nothing and I thought it magical.

In Noosa, I'm renting a house that has big kitchen which fully equiped would be an understatement. Back home, I own one pot that came with the flat, one small pan that I recently purchased solely to make fried eggs -had quit the job might as well have proper breakfast every morning. and I've dabbled with eggs to make sunny side up. But, in this house, there are 3 different sized pots and 3 different sized pans, oven, grill.

At first, I started with baking a frozen pizza in the oven. and it came out well. next, popped in crumbed frozen fish. Things progressed this way and today I made a full meal pasta with fresh tomatoes, garlic and caramelized onion. And it was very good! I impressed myself and now motivated, downloading all the recipes.

 Suddenly houselwife doesn't sound like a curse. I'm on holiday and all I do is grocery shopping, making something to eat, and reading. feel pretty good. I don't miss working as I thought I would. The job was fun, had good perks but don't miss all the stress and competitiveness. Is this the domestic bliss which some men proclaim women are more suited to? Strange thing about social conditioning. I had one opposite of the conventional kind and now, what is all this? I don't know what my mom would think. Whether to be disappointed, horrified or rather amused. But for sure, it wouldn't make her proud.