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| Hold the heart of a slave girl and she will walk through fire for you... but if you cherish it she will dance in the flames.
Not to be rude, but if you send me an email with virtually nothing in it, or if your profile is blank, you're probably not going to get a response. ?A warm local body is not enough to warrant my interest. ?Entice me.
I am newly separated and getting back in touch with myself. ??I am not looking for an online relationship, and I don't do the long distance thing. ?I would not do well with a recluse or someone who isn't willing to meet my friends. ?I definitely have my home-body days, but I enjoy socializing as well. ?
If you're still reading... the following ads, while not my words, are pretty close to my heart's desires.
**SACRED AGENT SEEKS FREAKY CONSORT**
Tired of both boringly nice goodie-goodies and menacing lunatics trying to pass off their pathologies as "sexy"? I'm the happy medium: a straddler of the mysterious edge where bliss and struggle overlap, where the difference between light and dark just ain't that simple. I feel too deeply to pretend that every question has a correct answer. I cry too easily and love too much. And you? Are you smart enough to be guided by your sacred dreams of transgression? Are you free enough to surrender over and over again to the waters of life? If you've got the courage, I've got the secrets. I'll be your wild-eyed, smart-mouthed, spread-eagled muse if you'll be mine.
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**I'M THUNDER IN THE EARTH AND YOU'RE RIVER IN THE HEAVENS**
Fire-breathing earth-worshiper with the warrior genius of a geisha and the intimacy skills of a samurai seeks an undomesticatable creature of the night with a talent for walking on water. I want a lover, yes, and a blood ally, but I also want a partner in crimes that don't break any laws ... a joy scientist who's in training to be an ethical outlaw ... a dissident bodhisattva with the messianic ambition to overthrow reality. What's so bad about obsession, anyway? You look fabulous when you're pushing it to the limit, and so do I. My turn-ons: taboo explorations on the frontiers of enlightened compassion, and peak performances at the border of wildness and discipline. Turn-offs: easy tests that merely flatter my ego and familiar games that put my higher mind to sleep. Resolved: My inner guru wants to get into the funnest possible trouble with your inner shaman.
These were written by Rob Brezny and 'stolen' with permission.
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So.. I once read a book called The Reluctant Shaman. I am beginning to think of myself as the reluctant whore..
I'm still undecided as to whether that is good or a bad thing.... or maybe both. |
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You Scored as Submissive
It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominant wouldn't be a bad idea.
Submissive 93%
Experimental 86%
Masochist 64%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur 64%
Bondage 61%
Degradation Lover 54%
Switch 54%
Sadist 32%
Dominant 25%
Vanilla 21%
http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/index.php
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Just wondering if anyone else gets wet looking at the Smithsonian Catalog...
i can't believe how odd and strange and exciting and stressful things are right now. Can't say as i'm complaining though. |
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So... my marriage is over. Now I just have to make it legal. That is all big and overwhelming and scary...
Thankfully I kind of stumbled upon an instant support group. I went to coffee with a local group again tonight and really enjoyed myself. Could I, the loner, actually be fitting in? It's about damned time, especially because I'm about to undergo what could be the biggest transformation of my life.
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I need to redo my profile again. As I learn more about myself, what I want becomes clearer. I feel like I'm a 37 year old who is just now truly beginning to discover who she is and how to find her joy. Better late than never.
I finally went to a local group's coffee Friday night. It was anxiety producing, but I'm really glad I went. I was invited to a female submission gathering today and I'm even more glad I went to that. It is funny, it was located in a nearby town so I was looking to carpool. It turns out that I know the woman I ended up carpooling with from another life.
Already knowing her and then just everything about today is making me think I have come in direct contact with my destiny. Have you ever felt that way? Words are escaping me. I am acutely aware of my surroundings, but at the same time, its like a part of me (my higher-self?) is sitting back and observing the situation from a distance and everything is making sense. Its like this moment makes all the moments before it fall in to place and I can see that wholeness might actually be possible whereas, for far too long, there has been dissension.
It was a small group and just the perfect size for intimate and friendly discussion. It was odd though. At this time, I identify myself as a sub and the whole group were slaves. I loved it. I did get pretty emotional at one point though. I couldn't help but compare what they have to what I have, and there really is no comparison. Can I be jealous, but not in a bad way? ;) |
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I know it is pointless to mention that it might be a good idea to read my profile before contacting me.. and I'm sure it won't make a difference to say that you might want to fill out your profile and say something more than "Hi, I wanna talk to you" if you want a response.
Through lack of knowledge, I used to look negatively at the term "mental domination" and see it as synonymous with head games and dishonesty. Now I understand its value. I, at the very least, need someone with the mental capacity to dominate me. Otherwise I will lose interest very quickly. Yes, physical domination is divine, but without mental stimulation, it quickly moves to the fantasy category where I can I can use it when I'm in need of a picture to accompany my self-play. So if you want to be more than a thing I masturbate too... If you want staying power in my heart, mind, and soul, you already know it takes more than that.
Oh, and one more thing. If you've gotten this far and are somehow intrigued.. I also am reading and responding to posts on the other side.. So come join us. |
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In the forums, someone wrote that bdsm is like therapy for her. I think I can see that. There is nothing like some good sex/playtime to get me as excited and happy as a kid on Christmas. Also, I sometimes tend to get scattered.. and I can imagine that some nice hard spankings would really help me focus. I guess its kind of like 'The Secretary' in that way. She cuts to deal with whatever overwhelming emotions she may have. Once he begins to play with her, spank her, etc., she doesn't need to cut anymore.
I genuinely just feel better when my sexual needs are met. That sometimes happens, but the D/s needs are not getting met at all. Actually, a lot of needs are not getting met in the current situation.
I'm reluctantly coming to the conclusion that I need to either change my attitude toward my current situation and, once again, put all my effort into making it work... or, I need to move on. Honestly, neither scenario seems very appealing. |
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