LadySashayy

Female Dominant, 37, Lincoln, Illinois

Female Dominant, 60, San Antonio, Texas

Female Switch, 47, providence, Rhode Island

Almost two years since I was last here. Wow how time does flow away from you, especially if you're feeling happy and fulfilled. Which I am. For my friends here who have been wondering, yes frey and I are still together. I've bound him every more tightly and dearly to me. We lived together now in a 24/7 relationship, and we are actually now engaged to be married next year.? And yes I am the one who asked ;-) Being an army guy, he is currently overseas serving his duty to our country. So I am here to just hang out with like minded folks, chat and remind myself that this Life is a big part of who I am. So until he comes back, I am here to just hang out, talk to like-minded folk and remind Myself that I am in and of the Life. Love and joy to all of you.. and smacks to those who want or deserve them hmm?

Who would have thought that I'd find an inspirational overview of power from a sci fi writer? A power that was only the power to do good would not be power at all. Real power is a genuine trial. Real power is a grave responsibility and a grave temptation... When you deal with power you have to fear the consequences of a bad decision before you can find any satisfaction in a good one. Real power means real decisions, real action with real consequences. Amen, Bruce Sterling!

Contrasts and contradictions are what I think life is about. The simplest yet most profound joy comes from the small spaces between what is and what could be, between what we expect to be and what actually happens. In those spaces is where dreams and possiblities are born, grow, thrive and flourish. Even when they die, they leave traces of their starlight glowing in the happening, like little bits of alternate universes. Those little spaces are what I'm trying to live in these days. While I am living and planning for a big and scary and wonderful future, I'm trying to find myself living in those moments, savouring those possibilities. When I am with Mine, I try to leave the future squarely unknown in its eventuality, and be totally present in the now, with him. It is not easy and it can be heartbreaking when that future becomes now and I have to go, have to leave him for a time, but I console myself with the knowledge of what has happened and what will happen again. I throw myself into the new now and plan for the next. The only way to live in the world in which I am in now. And I wouldn't give up him or us for anything.

Life can be so surprising, can't it? You can go from despair to joy in the click of a button, the blink of an eye. Your emotions and mood can turn around in the time it takes to turn tears of sadness to those of joy. Chance meetings make your fate and change your life. On this night, right now, I am toasting the Fates - may they always be this kind to Me!

Trust, honesty and respect are the basis of any good relationship of any kind. Given this, it still surprises me how many people forget this, screw it up, ignore it or blatantly violate it... then wonder why they end up in dead-end relationships, abusive relationships, etc. And then there is the issue of reality -- online is real, baby. There is a real person on the other end of that connection, that chat, that email, that webcam. They are real people, with real needs and real feelings.?

While listening to some Billy Talent lately, the lyrics to one song in particular stuck out for Me. It is the song "Surrender" on the Billy Talent II album. The lyrics speak to Me of D/s dynamics and hardships, wonders and worries. In particular: Surrender every word, every thought every sound. Surrender every touch, every smile, every frown. Surrender all the pain we've endured until now. Surrender all the hope that I lost you have found. Surrender yourself to me.

I've learned a key lesson this past weekend. I've learned that you can do your best, give things your all, care deeply and trust completely and try hard, and so can he.. and things still may not work out. People still might get hurt. Things might still be done that can't be undone. Distance created where there shouldn't be any, problems only where there should be solutions. Pain where there should be pleasure.?

Choice. And its action, choosing. So much of D/s is about that. Choice and choosing. There is risk and possibility in choices and the act of choosing is a type of commitment. That commitment is a surrender too, a surrender to time and the flow of events that will follow Your choice. I have made choices in the last few months here. Some good, some painful. But when I ask myself if it would have been better to just be, to not be conscious of those acts of choosing, both and small, I realize that to try that, to not be concious...ahh...that would be so alien to who I am. What I am. And, always, to the possibilities of who I will become. So for me, D/s is about choice. And as the D at the front of that slash, my choices can set in motion the reactions and actions and emotions of others. The responsibility for choice and choosing is doubled for Me, then. Double the risk and the possibility for success/failure. That is my reality. I can only do the best I can, make the choices consciously and throw myself to the winds of time. What more can a Dominant strive for? What more can a Dominant be? Who else can I be? No one.

Another update here to answer more questions. Oddly have been getting asked what submission and domination mean to me. So I've been turning the question around and asking the other what is theirs. And the responses I've been getting are sometimes very convoluted and show me that for many here, submission is a sexual thing, a case of putting their body in the hands of a woman to do with as she wants. To my mind, this brings D/s into the realm of the purely kinky. But D/s is about more than sex! Ok yes I may be a casual and somewhat softer Domme than others here. Yes a lot of My fun gets exercised in sexual activity. But I also expect domestic services, which have little to do with sex and a submissive that needs or seeks constant rewarding for having done a small task is not going to be the kind of submissive I will find genuine for me. Submission is not about getting your rocks off whenever your Lady chooses to let you. Not in my eyes.

I've been getting a lot of the same general questions from people here, so rather than try to answer these individually, I'm putting it all here in my profile. Yes I'm for real. No I'm not a pro. Yes I like gifts but no I'm not here seeking tributes. Yes I'm down to earth. No, I'm not a fetishist, nor do I treat this aspect of myself as a kink or a temporary kick or hobby. I am simply dominant. It is who I am. And training men/women in the bedroom has been part of my sensual/sexual practice and play for a very long time. Just sort of seems to always happen and I'm comfortable with it. I don't do a lot of rituals or weird titles, nor am I big on special clothing or behaviour. It isn't about the external trappings for me (though I do like a guy to spend a decent amount of his private time with me in nothing but his naked self). To all who see me, I present as a student, comfortable most in tees, tanks, hoodies, jeans and cool sneaks, though underneath is usually pretty bras and undies. I'm a normal woman, very strong, intelligent, creative, incisive, but also capable of being silly, caring, cuddly, cute and occasionally yes shy. I read a lot, and I like movies, especially action and drama and sci-fi/cyberpunk/comic book flicks. I love to cook and I groove to a guy who knows his own way around the kitchen. I have a dog, no kids, and I share a house with two female housemates. All of this to say that if you want an exotic Domme, I'm not your type. But if you want a woman who can rationally and logically and strongly control you and blow your mind, but be a fun and happy friend to hang out with outside of the bedroom, then I just might work for you.

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