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Hi De Hi campers! In the words of my heterogeneous friend Richie Valentine.. "Time for a re-vamp" Shiny I'm not French but i do curse from time to time when the need arises. Not offensively, lazily. You are probably reading this for one of four reasons. 1 You are a random profile groper 2 Accidental stumbling in your search for something shiny 3 Something I have said piqued your interest 4 You know me and are checking up If there is a fifth, sixth or seventh reason please don't hesitate to fill me in so i can be on ma merry way to profile completion utopia. Chars. No matter how well made or beautiful the sound a wind chime is nothing without a gentle breeze; . Right, that's the cheese out of the way, on with the show. What can i offer you? Not much, depending on your level of expectancy. I don't drive so I can't chauffeur you around back and forth from club dick destroy to apocalypse culture, unless you want a backee on ma bike. If you can handle the truth, I am honest to the point of annoyingly ridiculous. I enjoy gardening, cooking, cleaning and all manner of manual labour so you can't make me do it against my will, so there! Well, you could but i would probably piss you off with my inane, jovial, jolly (check the big words) whistling. A knuckle duster should sort that out though. Shitesters! We aint got that far yet, Skuse me, I'm a likkle excited and drooly. You could however stand there supervising with a blow torch, knuckleduster, (<- der it is) sporting a big shiny strap-on, although I may well get distracted and put on a poor show. I am the proud owner of a strong, powerful mind and the physique of a greyhound that already lost the race but keeps on running because there's nothing left to do except show his owner how hard he is trying and wants a scooby snack. A fabulous lady from the beautiful south west called me elegant once. I am also the possessor of an all round grandiose illuminati ( bit like the shiny thing in the suit case in pulp fiction ) that I keep locked up in a box for a speshul day. I have skins but I stole them from Rizla teef. I know I have said "you" and "your" a lot. (and shiny) I have no idea who "you" or "your" err "you're" umm "You and everything to do with you" are. Another reason why i am here. Me, seeking you, seeking me. Great! now i sound like Alan Partridge. I like Peep show also. This word sums me up quite well... Shiny .. fuck! no! I meant... Pliable Susceptible to being led or directed. Ductile: Capable of being shaped or bent or drawn out; "ductile copper"; "malleable metals such as gold"; "they soaked the leather to make it pliable"; "pliant molten glass"; "made of highly tensile steel, alloy" elastic: able to adjust readily to different conditions; "an adaptable person"; "a flexible personality"; "an elastic clause in a contract" bendable: capable of being bent or flexed or twisted without breaking "a flexible wire"; "a pliant young tree" Some random thoughts I have finally found inner peace. A good friend proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. ;Chinwiya Nadia. Well, that's enough about me, thanks for reading my slice. I smell nice and I don't moan. If that helps. If ya got this far, hello again. I do have a serious side but it's locked up in the box with the shiny thing. Keys available on request, demand, by brute force or theft while I'm sleeping.