kittenwear

I have decided that if I'm going to explore this I'm going to be bluntly honest as much as possible. I have been getting a lot of email asking about my life and my interests. I'd like to state right now I am a one person woman and am in a mostly happy relationship and due to get married next year (assuming we can afford it). I am not interested in sharing him or myself.

My life so far has been one interesting and sometimes damn uncomfortable learning curve. I have lived through a great many things, some of which hurt me mentally for years. As a young child I was abused mentally/physically and for a while sexually as well by my bother. I eventually stood up to him but by then the damage was done. I was also bullied in school from grade 2. Initially it started due to my brother's classmates not liking him and then learning of me. I became a target like him and that endured right through till year 11. With all this going on it's not surprising that I became a recluse and extremely shy and reserved.

I met my partner through a friend in 2006 and we have been together since. We got engaged about 18mths ago and after a rocky first start, where we had to deal with the effects of my childhood interfering with me being able to be intimate with him, we have lived fairly happily. He worked hard to help me wrest control of my life away from my mother (who can be a tad controlling) and to help me get a sense of self that was hard to shake.

We started to go down this road a year ago when he started mildly teasing me about being a submissive and his pet. He says I tend to act like a cat sometimes and I won't deny it after it was pointed out. You own an animal from a young age you tend to take on some of it's charecteristics (I've spelt that wrong but I can't get spell check to work).

Things started to come to a head for us recently as we have both been getting board and stressed at work and then we were coming home and virtually ignoring each other. Well this week we the communication block finally came down. He told me that this is what he wanted and he knew I wouldn't give it to him (as he didn't think I was able to hand over the control he worked so hard to give back to me) and that was ok but he was afraid that his wanting this would eventually break us up. I had been fearing that we were heading that way. Well to cut a long story short I agreed we needed to try to find a balance between the 'vanilla' life style we had been leading and the life style he wants.

So our foray into BDSM commenced with a discussion and proceeded to me joining and filling out a profile on this site.