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Last nights party was sooooo fun. Such a good open loving bunch. I had a permasmile most of today just from the high of last nights gathering....ahhh I wish sometimes I had more times to be with these glorious people. |
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Here is a message to everyone out there. Please, please dont waste my time. If we make plans, stick to them, or in the very least, just let me know we will need to reschedule. It's a common courtesy and speaks to your character. If you are a flake, if you are inconsiderate and if your just looking to cause whiney drama, please, PLEASE move on. I'm not the one to poke. Kittys got claws for those without tact, manners or class. Thank you. |
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At work reading about sex machines and penis cameras. <3 |
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Last night I squirted for the first time. For me it was embarrassing and messy but it also felt so amazing. It was like a weird high and it seemed that once I let loose the first time it kept happening over and over. So much so that a towel was needed. ::blushes:: |
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I really dont see a reason to stay on this site is so more conducive to actually meeting people. I think it might be time to take my leave of this place. |
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Well. The adventure continues.
I had a couple meets lately.
One man turned out to be a girly drama queen, so I passed on a repeat hang with that one.
The second shows a lot of promise, however is a bit of a drive. He had me so ridiculously wet and we both remained fully clothed. He really had me ready to go. But since I'm a good girl, and he knows that, it was just good fun. No one was expecting it to go further I don't believe.
Now I have a second meeting with this older man tomorrow night. Last time I spent some time with him I was tingly all over. I don't know what to expect this time and I'm fairly nervous. Hopefully our meet will be a happy relaxing evening for us both. Im not looking for a quick fuck. Never have been. I'm very cautious with who I allow to sample my submission.
Well, just wanted to update my journal. Now off to life. |
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Anyone going ro wicked faire? |
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FYI-for anyone paying attention. As of late I have been very much in my "little" space. I can't help it. So just be warned if you message me. K? K! |
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Still trying to find my place in this wacky world. I feel stronger, better adapted to some things, which is good. I have found that in my journey I have made some great friends, had lots of fun and memorable experiences. Of course, no good is without tge bad. I've had some scares, disappointments and heartache. Not enough to deter me from my present course.
I will press on.
I will learn all I can.
I will try.
And I will find my place.
To those who've helped me, coached me, comforted me or just said hi, thank you.
Thank you for helping me to find myself. |
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Might be time for me to hang up the leash and take a step back. What I want and what I'm able to have don't sync up. So I'm just going to retreat and regroup. |
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Well last week was, in my mind, a big step in the right direction for me. I went to my first munch where I could meet with people just like me and talk about just about anything. There's something comforting about finding yourself at a table of people who are as open as I am and not too shy to discuss things non-vanilla.
I also went to a non-sexual play party, and I actually was in a couple scenes and was in a state of undress. First thing I noticed, even though I have body issues, I saw the twinkle in both men and ladies eyes when their gaze and mine met. It was very exciting to have complete strangers see me in this state. It was nice to feel sexy, accepted and welcome.
I got the joy of being hooked to a spanking bench for some ass attention and time on the exam table for my trial by fire. I am most greatful to my friends for looking after me and helping up onto this next tier. You know who you are. ;-)
Well, that is all for now. Just wanted to update as I do use this journal to remind myself of how far I've come and how much more I have to learn.
I have other parties coming up soon and I will be sure to write my thoughts and experiences here.
Take care and keep it kinky! |
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I wore a dress...
....in public....
......tonight.....
and I was Hot! <giggles>
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I made this half-pony, half-monkey monster to please you. But I get the feeling you don't like it — what's with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies... maybe you don't like monsters so much. Maybe I used too many monkeys... isn't it enough to know I ruined a pony...?
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WARNING:
I watch foreign films
I watch silent films
I listen to music you will not like
I <3 zombies
I <3 Cthulhu
I am NOT the norm
I AM a treasure
I AM unique
So, in summary if you are not in my league, please DO NOT try to get me to have random meaningless sexual relations with you.
That is all.
This rant was brought to you by the letters B and S, and the number 1.
Thank you.
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well the cat's outta the bag now
oh boy
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I am taking time to regroup, rethink and re-access my life. I want to do things right from now on.
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Well the weather today was glorious. And finally got to test out the central AC in the new digs, and in a word...it's the tits!
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He is away for the weekend.
::pout::
::evil smirk:: |
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Mmmmm
bruised breasts
they are pretty
that is all
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No matter what men say they'll do
they always try to stick it in you
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I had a long weekend of moving and unpacking. Sorry if I haven't replied to messages yet. I will try and get on that soonish.
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I am angry with myself. I feel like I disappoint those that only wish to assist me. Very upsetting indeed. |
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Another night at work...
I am tired...need a break...
just have to forge ahead to Saturday then hopefully my battery will once again be recharged..
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Well not long now, I am so excited it's consuming me! I can't wait until I step out of the car and get to be back in that safe haven. I can only imagine what He has planned for me...
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Feeling grumpy. Someone cheer me up.
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Having a bizarre day. Still warm and fuzzy from the juvenile snugglefest last night. Bummed that I can't make the trip for..what sounds to be a fun party ::pout::
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Anything fun going on locally tonight? I might wanna venture out.
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Wah it's a beautiful day and I am stuck at work! *pout*
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Tonight a good friend opened my eyes to a world of endless possibilities, now I just have to take that first kitty step. I felt I belonged, that I wasn't the weirdo anymore! Thanks you know who! I had a fantastic time, even if I didn't show it much. Maybe next time I won't be quite so shy. Gnight all. xo |
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Anyone know of anything fun to do tonight or tomorrow night? If so let me know. I am bored. Lol
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I'm tired.
I'm grumpy.
I wanna crawl up into a ball on a nice warm lap.
That's all. For now. |
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Boring day at work. Head confused as always. I have a lot on my mind. Moving, although not far at all, is still a change. Then the issue of finding a tenant for my loft so that I can afford to keep the roof over our heads. Add to that my Daddy dramas and trying to decide whether I want to for go days off until the move to make extra cash. Meh. So many things. No wonder my sleep is never sound and I walk around all day in a fog. |
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Blah. Rainy Monday. Laundry. Cleanup. Stiff. Shower. Work. Tired. Hopefully get some Bioshock time.
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Still looking for a housemate.
You get your own floor. Minutes from the train or bus to NYC. Let me know if you are seriously interested. It's in East Rutherford NJ. |
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Watching the man that fell to earth before bed. Yay! Rawr. |
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Turns out when you wear a shirt that says death on it people shy away from you. Heh heh. |
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I wanna have fun....just to see what it's like. Lol |
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Yay it is abysmal out today. Rainy. Dark. Windy. Chilly.
Now, it seems to me, people do not look at these entries. I say that because I still get messages from married men and poly households and couples. So again, for anyone listening, I am not interested in anything more than a one-of-one relationship that is of the D/s variety. And even that I am not actively looking for at this time. Not yet.
Oh and I have a 9 year old that lives with me so if that's a problem, best to disclose.
Meep meep.
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Another day of confusion, I am growing tired. I think it might be time to just walk away. At least then perhaps my mood swings would cease. |
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I think I put too much stock in what people say, and therefore can look forward to forever being confused and let down.
See, I don't say things I don't mean. I don't like to waste my time. Or anyone else's. Too many of us have great walls built up, I am one of them. But when you find someone you see promise in, you let them in, slowly, bit by bit, don't you?
Why has this been so long and still I feel I haven't learned what makes him tick, unless, he doesn't feel me worthy? Or his walls are just too high for me to climb.
"I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me."
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I am brimming with confusion. How many times can I walk this path? How many times will I come back for more disappointment? Maybe I am my own worst enemy and to blame for my disappointment? So many questions making my heart and head spin. If only I knew where I should stand. Where it is solid. |
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I am feeling so strange as of late. Instead of feeling MORE scared and alone,...I feel...I don't know..more alive? Free? Strong? This isn't how I should feel, is it? I should feel a little one lost, right? Very peculiar indeed.
Anyone out there have any thoughts? |
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Well today is new day #2.
Hopefully I will feel better day by day.
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Had a good first meet last night...maybe this site will pan out for me...who knows.
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Another day at work....and now I need to start looking for another job or a new roommate too? Wow 2010, why you gotta fuck me so soon, can't we just get to know each other first??
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Hey everyone, going to be a long boring night at work, feel free to IM me on yahoo...same screen name as here. Keep me company! :)
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About to play some Rock Band with my daughter...I am such a big kid...that's why I need a Daddy.... ;)
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Another thing I feel it's necessary to get across on here....I do not get into "relationships" with married men. I don't feel comfortable with it for myself personally.
Listen, I am looking for the whole deal, not just the fuck friend. I will not give myself over to just anyone, nor will I give myself over to someone I don't know. I have to feel comfortable.
I don't want to be anyone's behind doors toy and nothing more.
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Okay, things learned from being on this site....
Even though I list myself as a submissive women...#1-men don't believe that I am indeed female..and #2-some will ask me to humiliate and abuse them..
So, just for the record here everyone, I am a female, got the kid to prove it, and secondly I do not want to push anyone around, or give out orders. I enjoy being the one humiliated and abused, and love to obey commands.
Now on to the picture thing, I have attempted on several occasions to upload a photo of me to my profile, it never goes through. I have also tried to use the mail system here to send people my photo, again to no avail, so if you would like to see me you are going to have to give me an outside email address for me to send it to, it's just that simple. I am not a scammer, I don't want your money, I won't spam you...but if you would like to see kitten that's the only way I know how.
That's all for now, I will be on here again soon blabbing about something I am sure, till then...later masterbators!
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Ahhh....only have to work to 4....yay!
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Okay is it true that no men, let alone dom men like to cuddle? Wtf?
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I am happily baking some yummy holiday treats...and it's snowing....happy kitty...
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"And you seem so bruised and it's beautiful
As it's reflecting off from you as it shines
And you're in the bathroom carving holiday designs into yourself
Hoping no one will find you but they found you To be beautiful and trembling with life"
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