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ShockDoc
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I truly belong to a Master & Mistress, " a pair of powers to serve"
I am forever eager to learn and experience all that i can, to be pushed to find my limits, to be molded to please ones needs and desires.To be at anothers command.
.
I am very cautious, but once comfortable extremly devoted caring and obediant. Although being playful and fiesty have gotten me into trouble more than once.
I fear not and wish to no longer run.
I beg to be leashed and the soul that has been wild for too long tamed.
I am tempered by the lightening,that has struck my life. I am but newly formed.
*
Ok here is the Insolent and deviant
side of me.
Now, if you are real be it guy or girl , or a couple than I will more than happily and respectfully speak with you, but dont expect me to strip down on a whim , and dont expect more than friendship. I may be submissive, but not a fool. I will look you inthe eye, as I know who I belong to.
*grins
I want to be taken, enslaved
I want to be broken ,to be made
Take my body, mind and soul
Take from me all of my control
I am a toy, tool, obediant servant
my need to be owned is most deep and fervent
I am someones pet,
but not a whore
i am a only a slave and nothing
yet still so much more
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I am patient for what i know may never be. But i will willingly wait. I will hold my tears and fears and in time learn to keep them to myself. I long for the confidants i thought were a part of me. Until i remember that nothing is forever.People are fickle. And feelings are easily bruised. Lovers easily lost. And friends show their true colors.
The beauty of the dance and bond of the sisterhood is all that keeps my soul together, and yet it is what started the fall. It was my unweilding dedication to two seperate beings that drew the line. Told i should let one go or risk being torn apart. I held on to long. And i lost both.
In time my heart will heal, but i will never forget |
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I have been released. I wander. . Not by choice but by circumstances and life. By mistakes made and words unspoken. It is just now after some weeks that i am able to come here and proclaim my loss. I will stay for as long as i can. For as long as my heart will allow me. My heart, my soul, and my neck are bare. Raw with sadness. Streaked with tears. I wait. .
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000-596-180 Sometimes it seems i forget !
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My patience is tested
My heart on one aspect hurts and on another yearns
My space confined
My world shaken like a snow globe and left to settle as it sees fit
My friends of old have gone
My friends of new have brought me memories to last.
My body aches for what i can not have.
My soul heals from my past with caring and love from the present.
I push my self physically to the point of exhaustion each day to keep the emotions under check, to keep the ghosts at bay the the future in sight.
But all in all i am happy.
I have a Master and Mistress who are patient
and loving. I have a home where i can find peace ( most of the time * grins). I have a pet the loves me unconditionally. I have my own haven ( even if its a bit messy at times).
I have bruises on my ass, and tears in my eyes, but a smile upon my lips. Its taken a long time to get here! |
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Today is a day to remember and refocus. To change the story of my life that i was writing, from not just a new chapter, but i feel a new book is in order. . The world mourns for the loss of thousands of souls, and i mourn for the loss of a part of my heart. As told i can not control my emotions , only my actions. And yet do my emotions not somewhat direct my actions. |
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My friends have moved and i miss their touch and voice, and time. They took with them a small part of me that i shall always remember, and they left with me a physical part of them i shall always keep close at hand. The rest of the story is in my mind and my heart.
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Can't really back date but at least i can sum up. Collared on a beautiful May afternoon in the hills of the canyon, with a blue stone and steel on a bed of fur under the sun.. . now in my Masters keeping, at his heel, and so very happy to be there.
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I always thought a fitting punishment that would make one understand her place would be a sound spanking or a nasty mark left for the next day, or harsh words. ,. . .But . . . It is not until one understands her true place until she is isolated/ ignored , left to her own as punishment for her actions. It is those so very long hours when one understands the lonelyness, and loss of not being able to just hear his voice. ...The guilt and feeling of nauciousness that overcomes her from knowing he is displeased with her. The gnawing in the pit of her stomach, the depths of the ache in her heart, and the deepest stirings of emotions of her mind to bring her to tears,. are her true punishment. And only the smile in his eyes, and the feeling of his hands around her neck binding her again does she know she is forgiven, and that this is another lesson she must remember. |
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Yours,
Upon Your leash,
At Your Feet
Held under Your hand
Watched by Your eye
Safe hidden behind Your knee
Content asleep at Your side
Marked by Your steel
Kept by Your rope
Warmed by Your kiss
Focused by Your command
Drawn to Your voice
Molded by Your touch
Yours |
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I was made to understand today, just how i have affected them. And i hope they understand how much they have affected me.
I am so very happy that the good days are starting to outnumber the bad.
I will do as he desires,even though it scares the hell out of me. For he asked it of me.
The desire, and the promises are to great to give up. The taste so sweet upon my lips. The reality so close at hand. How can one have patience, when she has felt the possibilites, heard the claiming whispered in her ear. her begging pleas answered.
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One hand,
With one hand you touched my body the first time I met you
With one hand you caught a piece of my soul and have yet to let go
With one hand you motioned me to your side and then to my knees
With one hand, offered to me, I bend my head in supplication
With one hand entwined in my hair you bring my lips to yours and then to the floor
With one hand you deem what even air I shall or shall not breath
With one hand you teach me your trade,
With one hand you bring to my neck your blade
With one hand you place your mark permanently upon my skin
With one hand you dry the tears that threaten to stain my cheeks
With one hand you have captured me
With one hand you hold me |
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I have been silenced from across the room, by eyes that hold so much emotion, so much promise. The hues of blue and black have graced my skin in more ways than one. And steel has tasted my blood, and left its kiss. |
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Oh shall the hand of the heavenly name bring upon such joyous pain. And shall the hand of the son of Nyx control the very air we breath. In the oddly quiescent, savage and wanton times of the joining of the celestial beings of snow and death. ,They shall bring to rapture all under their touch and torment. |
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Many Women do not know how beautiful they are until they see themselves bound and collard in a mirror. . . WoG |
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A ship in harbor is safe,
but that is not what
ships are built for. JA.Shedd |
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"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
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Just when you think you know exactly how it’s going, some other possibility shows up and it gets even better.  ..
..
///
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS!! . . . let them show your soul, let them behold the truth. Let them know your ghosts and your glory.
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS, . . . .dont hide anything, lay yourself bare both skin and heart.
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS, . . . . let the eyes learn to plead and beg.. let them learn.!
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS, . . . let them free to shine or weep to show your devotion, emotion and pain.
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS,. . . . . until someone commands you to look away, to look where to be reminded of your place.
EYES FORWARD ALWAYS |
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And yes, as per the last pic added, i do have a streak of "" agression"" i like to play off of. Push me , and pick a fight and i will fight back. Push me correctly, and remind me of my place, and you just might be surprised ! |
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*******,. to those who know my name: defined. Superficially common but expresses itself in a determined and strong way as it always grows in steep and rocky areas. A name take from the delicate yet resilent purple hued flower of the plant.
( yeah i know, no flower names , lol ) She is strong willed and determined and will succeed in anything she tries. She knows her own mind.
And she learns more of her mind each time she is handeled even still today.
I had forgotten what it felt like to have someone ( unselfishly take care of me ). To go out of the way to aid me in my time of need. To care for me. To nurse me with a tender hand and a concerned heart. With a delicate touch and warm smile ( and shot ) *
And although my tears were of physical pain , they were also of warmth for the emotions that have so long been chained away. As i still deisre to have such a chain around my neck once more. |
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People come and People go. They come into our lives and touch us in some manner or another.
And at times they leave, only to return to touch you once more. Forever imprenting a part of them upon you. Adding to the mix that shapes a person to grow into something beautiful in the end.
And to accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.
No matter what situation you are in right now, there is a purpose to that situation….By working with the specific conditions in front of you, you will begin to discover things about yourself that will give you clues to the next step. Your job will be to look, listen, feel, choose, and act.
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Time heals, and the shadow of the person i once was has changed. I have cried and laughed, and now i hope i have found my nitch. I may be the lone wolf, sitting crying to the moon and stars. But life and gained wisdom has taught me that a new day is just beginning. And that the night is not as scary as it once was. I have finally tasted the sweetness of that sought after space. Where reality and time stop and the body responds of its own accord. Where one moment is blinded by pain at the hand of another and the next is swimming in ecstasy. |
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Things are just weird. My heart tells me one thing, my mind tells me another. Reality pushes me one way, and my desires another. What is real ? Who is real ? And where is the chapter that says this was easy and fair.. .oh yeah, it doesnt exist. . . .duhhh. Take a deep breath and move forward. Learn and change as needed. . . .Reality check welcome to the real world, god i miss the HVE. |
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Ummm seems a little different on this side !! Cant say i like it, cant say i dont. Cant say i wont have fun !! |
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Through trials and tribulation. Through tears of joy and of pain. One learns, one grows. Greatful for the lessons, regretful for the loss.
Remember your Goals
Remember your Mistakes
Remember your Place
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A slave will never be truly happy or content in her
life if she is un-owned. A slave's most profound freedom is found within her Master or Mistress's
chains. Within these chains, she is free to live as
she is destined to live to serve and please, and to be pleased in return for the privilege
to serve and please her Master or Mistress.
To know the dominant hands will claim, guide and control one, is a freedom in itself. To have the knowledge that when one does faulter , she will not do so alone.
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Working Sucks,. . . I miss my Master and Mistress. |
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My Lord and Lady taught me a valuable and long needed lesson in humility. Was time one was made painfully aware and reminded of her place and her faults in her service. None the less, i was so very honored and proud they called me" Theirs, their property" in front of someone else. But it astonishes me as to the level they are willing to tolerate,that they are willing to accept me still, and how much responsibilty they place upon themselves in this regards. He took a portion of the blame for my lack of proper protocol. And she did her best to instigate. * winks * And i am so very greatful to them both. |
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I am not in harmony with myself, When what i feel on the inside does not show on the outside. My world has been turned and all i seem able to do is cry, and beg my way back to a life i so eagerly prayed and struggeled and worked for. To be set back to begin again, to prove myself worthy, to earn my place once more. Literally sick with emotion , guilt, and sadness. I shall not run. I will not run. I do not want to run. |
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And so time has seen fit to change the house and put its mark on those within. Be it good or bad, it shapes us and makes us who we are. |
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It may sound severe. Almost anti-erotic. Until you see two people, owner and owned, existing in a complementary relationship where each suits the other like balances on a delicate scale. Until you feel the energy of their rapport, you cannot understand how they fulfill each other, take and give in ways no negotiation could possibly express.
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