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A week without him. Anticipating. His return. Butterflies in my stomach aall over again.
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I spoke to my Master about my concerns. I feel silly now for not asking him to clarify. After he spoke. He told me in the future to just speak to him and not dwell on it. My heart smiles. I misunderstood and now it is cleared up I only wish to serve him more devoutly.
Right now, he is out of reach physically but he is still with me. I can feel him see him in different things and think of him often. Anticipation building for the moment I am in his presence again.
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A simple enough request. I am finding it hard to follow. As any slave would I am giving it my all. Inwardly, I am sad today. Hurt. Unsure and questioning myself. Words that were spoken clawing away at my insides. He isn't site I'm fully ready forthis...I am unsure how to respond. He sees my determination and eagarness but I guess I am missing something. Something that still eludes me. What am I missing? ...
I owe him a thank you and much more. I see how hard he is working on this for me. I know I am a handfull at times but really I want nothing more than to please him. In that knowledge, I know this is right. It may occur slowly. But one day it will be completely. Bit by bit I let go of the edge, when the last bu. t gives in I know ill land in his hands. The place I want to be. |
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Time moves and slowly layers are peeled away bit by bit. One day I hope to be truly stripped at your feet.
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Another day passed and the fuzzy world around me is becoming more clear each time I enter it. Honestly I had no clue what I was getting into and not in a bad way. I realize I am my own biggest obstacle. In that coming to light I am likewise the solution. I have been in control of all aspects of my life for so long i failed to realize I wasn't good at letting that go. Armed with that knowledge I hope to realize when I am not putting my full trust in my Master and stop myself and let go. Thank you Master.
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Day one of this story. Feelings are hard to describe. Excited. A little unsure. The lack experiance is the cause I am sure. I have wanted this for so long. A Master that I was sure would accept my submission. A person to push me to my limit or to realize what they are. So again a entry of the beginning
...a smile and a ring of metal.'' |
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Day one of this story. Feelings are hard to describe. Excited. A little unsure. The lack experiance is the cause I am sure. I have wanted this for so long. A Master that I was sure would accept my submission. A person to push me to my limit or to realize what they are. So again a entry of the beginning
...a smile and a ring of metal.'' |
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changed my profile a bit. been looking around trying to see what i like and what i don't. I do know i prefer men closer to my age. I LOVE clothespins :) still looking. |
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I plan on being myself. I am honest, optimisitic about everything and for the right person eager to please. I am too often told I trust to easy. I can't help it. I guess it's in my nature. I plan on being cautious online because you never know who your talking to or if they have any alterior motives.
I have to thank a friend of mine for opening my eyes to this lifestyle that i'd been interested in for years just didn't know their was a lifestyle behind it. 
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