After a long hard work week, nothing better than the weekend. Especially to know we may have some light storms and rain what a great way to relax enjoy some football, do alittle writing, have some wine and just relax. I am so looking forwad to it. I am thinking I might even treat myself and do some cooking..lol Its so hard to cook for one its just like why bother..lol  but I love to cook and when I do cook my neighbors love it because I always have to much.  I hope you all have a great weekend and hope your search is going well....takecare and keep writing!!

Its very enlightening when you go back and think of someone you thought you were getting to know someone you spoke with on the phone, you text with and exchange emails with. Someone you were really interested in then you go back and look at his journal entries on here and realize he was talking to others the entire time, he has written about others and not a word about you...and you know all the while he claims to have taken someone on here this same man has told me he has a vanilla woman he is in a long term relationship with and how he loves her..hmmm....and in this journal he writes how he is real and doesn't play games...hmmmm......I wonder has he confessed all this to those "real" subs he is so called aching to find..hhmmm....and to the so called "real" sub he has taken?? hmmmm....just makes one wonder......

You know if your on this site much you may see a lot about fakes and etc...but I for one must say, even though I have never found a match a man for me on here. I have received GREAT emails about my recent move and they have been so nice and helpful and nothing but good wishes and suggestions on making me feel safe! I really do appreciate all your emails and thoughts and the fact you take the time to write.  Again thank you to everyone and I wish you all the best!  Just an update I am getting better in the house, its not perfect but I am working on it and having more good nights than sleepless nights....

Major Major NEW update!!! Living in Dallas now finally in the house I have been working on for over a year. Still not finished but oh my gosh it looks like a new house on the inside so great....now if I could only adjust to being alone, its so scary or at least for me it is. When the police say well we wouldn't live in this area, drug dealers etc...in surroundings areas...I am like ok...well I have great neighbors they are very nice houses well kept...and police say yes well its street by street or surrounding area...uuuggg and this is suppose to help me sleep at night??? I am already so scared I can t sleep, like tonight i slept in the recliner for a few hours...ggrrrr....Yes I have a lab, yes i have guns in the house, yes the house is well lighted outside, with dead bolts on doors.  So other than finding a man to make me feel more secure I am not sure what I can do....but Im here Im in and we will see what happens.

Bring on the sun and summer enough of the cold and rain.....I can't wait for my big move into the house I have been remodeling...alot of hard work, getting alittle closer now and its really looking nice. Im looking forward to being there this summer and doing the landscaping and being outside. Would be really nice to have a friend to cook for and visit with maybe one day I will find that Dom that i fit with. Still looking for that honest man looking for his One.

Another fake bites the dust...you know my writings I don't mention names, ladies if you need to know because you think you are being played yes I will tell you in private. This man is 54 on his profile no pic on the profile, texas, really goes on and on about his wonderful rich life and owns a business...mostly with this type i try to set up a meet right away cause they  are usually just full of lies. Well of course this one makes a date today, never calls, never text...I text him to say hope your doing ok and good morning...to give him a out something.....then at 7 p.m. still nothing from him, text him to say sorry your obiviously not who you said and good luck.....of course I get a text back he has had a accident on the way to the airport...and how damaged we all are on Collarme.....i text back lol hmmm ok yes we are all damaged here because we are so good at catching and calling out men that lie and are fake..lol 

gotta love it......just reminds me why i am still single.....and why i never take meeting someone from this site or any site to seriously....you can't know who you are talking to behind a key board, don't waste time chit chatting on here set up a public meet get to know them, get there i.d. and take the information and check them out...be safe, be smart, and if they don't like it then they are probably  hiding something. A honest person won't mind and will undestand in this day and time one can NEVER be to safe and CHECK OUT WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO AND MEETING!!

Ok yes here i go again, and again this isn't just my oppinion but its from men and women i have emailed with chatted with or know on here who we all laugh and talked about profiles we read and see here....Men if you have on your profile pictures of women scantily dressed and you can OBIVIOUSLY see they have the tools of a man THEN PLEASE know you are bi, or gay!! Don't lie or try to hide it...geezzzz and if you have on your profile your looking for sub/sub couples or sub/dom etcc...man and women couples to have serve you geezzz come on just be up front you like alittle male action as well...and for those of you over 40 looking for a young 18 year old daddys girl....omg get real dude come out of your fantasy world look in the mirror, check out your bank account, its not going to happen and find someone who will be honest with you and treat you appropriately...and stop sharing your pictures of your cocks, cause pleaseeee trust us subs/slaves those pics are a huge turn off...and seeing that its not that big really doesn't do you any favors....lol STOP IT..lol.....ok no more emails yall...its really useless to keep telling them they just are born that way and some people just keep doing dumb things...lol its how i look it now..hahah....ok HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALL....keep the writing...keep the thoughts flowing!!

What am I looking for? In short I am looking for a single man, that means not married, not in a relationship, not living with someone. A man that wants a one on one relationship. This man would have a good job, this means steady income, that can afford and wants to take his lady out and knows how to treat her properly. A man that is a good communicator, one that has interests in vanilla and bdsm. A man not afraid to be romantic and loving, do special things for his lady, and knows when to pick up the paddle to use on her as well. What do I offer in return? A lady in public, around family and friends, but your ultimate slave/sub at home to serve you, to take care of the home, to be there in fun and rough times, to learn your ways. A lady that has a great job, and has worked very hard at getting in great shape that keeps her self fit, looking sharp and very well kept from her hair to her feet. So if any of this interest you please email me.

Happy Hollaween to all you freaks and weirdos out here!!!

Be kind to the kiddos, and don't scare the subs and slaves to awful bad! LOL.... 

For me still working on my house I am moving into I must say it is starting to take a great shape now...along with the new slimmer trimmer me I am loving the new figure!! 

I must say I am getting away more an  more from this site though seems I never met anyone on here I really fit with or that was honest or sincere enough to take seriously...kinda disappointing but I still love writing on here and keeping up with a few friends I met....and always good for a laugh to come here and read what people put on profiles an journals... 

Takecare folks and keep writing great for the soul....

Ok just a footnote for some men....been comparing notes with the ladies again....when you are meeting the first time and she trust you enough to let you come to her home, don't think you can come there an expect dinner drink her liquor or whatever she serves and expect sex and you don't even take her out for dinner or drinks??? Really Men??? If your so broke you can't take me out for dinner drinks desert something...all you can do is to come to my home and think you will get served and sex wrong........I can be broke all bymyself.....I can take care of myself all alone......When you date or look for a partner professional educated women look to better themselves not do worse or less than. So be honest be upfront and for goodness sake come prepared come for a real date not to lazy around her home and sponge off her on the very first meeting....Grow up remember how to date and impress a woman and just know if you are out of your legue then don't waste all our time!!! Yes this goes for any woman looking for a partner even BDSM I don't know why men don't get it just because a woman may be submissive doesn't mean she isn't classy and have morals and expect that a man be a man and treat her appropriately with respect after all you don't own her and you never will without showing you can take care of her and treat her right.

I tell myself keep your mind and heart open all the time. I tell my friends the same thing. Do I really listen? Do I remember those words all the time? Probably not....but sometimes I do..thank goodness!!! You know we all have thought why am I still on this site? Why am I still here looking for that elusive person? Well its for those rare moments that you do get that one email...that one conversation that you think hmmmm yea this could be differnt this could be special....May is diffently the month for miracles and new journies!! So when you get that one email and special that conversation pay attention remember keep the mind heart and soul open and give it all back and more...my favorite pay attention to the small details.....most important be honest and honesty will come back to you...sit back welcome the journey and I can't wait to take it with you Mr. M!!

Well it has been a while since I wrote here...so a few things I have noticed of late....One that is so offensive and scary.....to see a men here advertising for a family to have in the lifestyle to play with...thats so wrong in so many ways......when you advertise wanting kids ..uggg ok not going on about that......my other item i am noticing and get alot of comments on from others is emails from Men say "Greetings" ....do you not know how to say hello how are you??? Come on its a website with loads of fakes and players, some of us are professional and educated, don't email me and give me that "lifestyle" chat you have seen online....speak to me like a normal person that you may wish to get to know. Those that email and ask dumb sexual things well trust me i don't even respond i gave up along time ago on those type of emails..lol  well enough of that just a few things on my mind...still seeing the "cock" pics on here or men that feel the need to show a pic of some woman sucking them off like oh look  i finally got some girl to do it...lol those are so pittiful like they don't get it done very much....Guys when will you learn we really don't want to see how little or big you think it is...and showing some girls ass you spanked till its bruised and red not much a of real turn on either...not all of us here like that severe scarring an bruising .....somethings are meant to be shared once you really know someone not with just strangers on a website....takecare all and keep writing

Well here I am finally in my new apartment everything brand new looking tooo cutely decorated and loving it.  I really enjoy my new found independence and the peace and quiet of being in my own place...I call it the "No drama Zone" ..smiles....Still on my healthy eating and loosing weight, now to get in the routine of working out to add to the healthy living...Hopefully now I can really concentrate on finding the perfect Master that is just for me...Its really hard to do that, Its hard to find a man that is professional, financially secure and knows how to treat a lady, that is loving, sincere, one woman man, that is single, drama free, and is still in charge and firm...looking seriously for that sub/slave that will complete his world.  So if you know this man I speak of please tell him I am waiting and to hurry and find me!! smiles 

You all know when I write here I never use names but ohhh trust me sometimes there are a few that would deserve their names being used!! LOL You know sometimes when I write here its things that were emailed to me from others sometimes they are from things I have read on here or other sites, or some one said to me in a email....Well here we go again some so called "Master" emails telling me before i ask yes he is 9 inches....LMAO girls how many times do we get a email telling us that?? Ok so even if he is then has the nerve to be offended because I tell him great not something i would ask nor am i here for just sex....Proceeds to tell me then i am no sub and should go to a vanilla site...REALLY?? Your from out of state and get offended because i won't cyber....ohhhhh I love this website, its a great thing I have a huge sense of humor!!! Its really all one can do is just not settle, stick to how you feel and believe in, and for goodness sakes never NEVER ever let those less forturnate try to put you down or sway what your really after!!!  I hope you got some laughs!!! Im still here for ya still writing get those pencils and papers out get a journal write some thoughts make it count go back and watch how you grown and learn!!!

Ok here is one for all you followers of my journal I need some feed back on this one.... 

I keep reading men's profiles on here and I am speaking of Doms/Masters whatever the lastest that men on this site call themselves...not really met or spoke to but a handful I would ever consider a true Master yet alone Dom...most are just rednecks with no mannors that think beating a ass red is being a Master/Dom...ANYWAYS here is my question and lookin for feedback...Why do supposed STRAIGHT men / that is men that SAY they are NOT GAY OR BI have on their profile they are looking for sub trans??? really???? that is about as bi/gay to me as you can be...then when you call them on it...they say OHHH thats a mistake i need to take that off..HAHAHAHAHA a week later its still there...lmao ok feedback please!!! what do you all make of looking for SUB TRANS - are they gay/bi??

Yes  I have moved and I am all settled in...oh and yes still loosing the weight!!! Now this moving thing you know from being married then divorced then doing the single Mom thing for 25 years, I forgot how to live alone. Its very hard, to come in to a place and know that no one is there or will be there, no one to cook or clean for do their errands to take care of.  Hmmm not to mention I am a big scardy cat and hate being alone at dark time....I don't sleep well and its kinda wearing on me a bit....Its also alittle hard coming from the country to the city, I never thought I would miss the country so much but I just miss the quiet you get in the country at betime ya know? People in the city drive loud cars the stereos banging non stop and yelling and talking so loud like they are all deaf or something!!!  I thought too being in Dallas I would find it easier to really start dating and possibly finding someone to enjoy life with, maybe that will come haven't been here that long.  I see nothing much has changed here too many men still showing there little privates like they should be oh so proud and don't understand most real women don't care to see that mess online....Well thanks for the support and kind words...keep it real keep it honest and don't settle and don't stop looking!!!

Its moving week yes its finally here!! But this entry is for the ladies and the Doms, you know i don't use names in my journal writings but this Dom will know who he is. This girl met a very special Dom from this site! Yes subs/slaves from this site!! This Dom who I call "Sir" was all and more i might add that He said He was, was the same as His picture, did exactly what He said He would do and by the way more than this girl ever dreamed. Was a wonderful first date. i'm sharing this not to stroke or build His ego because He doesn't need it nor require it, but to just say if you wait if your careful if your patient, that special Dom will shine through to let you know there are good men out there. We/we all know its hard to find someone that just Y/you connect with on a vanilla/bdsm level. Its just so rewarding when you have that first meeting/date that it comes full circle and you walk away smiling and ok for this girl dreaming all night thinking someone was listening and the waiting paid off!!!  This may or may not lead to anything but it does give this girl the knowledge that there are Gentleman Dom's that have morales/character/kinky/strong sides out there and I wasn't dreaming...

Thank You again "Sir" for a wonderful evening and a lasting journal entry that this girl hopes encourges those like me searching/waiting.

Things are going so well about to finally do the move now just where will it be for sure Dallas or FtWorth?? Just waiting to find out on the job!!! Plus losing now over 50 lbs feels wonderful!! I can't wait and no worries not stopping here!!! Now if finding a honest sincere Dom/Master was in the works!! LOL But nope not yet kinda thinking not gonna happen may just keep dating vanilla men at least they have great mannors and know how to date and treat a lady.  Men seem to forget on here that its more than I am Master do what I say will fuck you now and never speak to you again!! LOL or How many women can I fuck its up to me I will conquer all!! LOL  Honestly that is what some think and say..lol  They want Poly omg really?? Have you looked in the mirror you would be doing good to please one women 24/7 much less a a Poly relationship. Sorry but honest men you need to wake up and remember just because you think you might be a Master you still need to act like a man that has a brain and remembers his morals and mannors and how to treat a woman. 

Just an update things are going great on the new body almost down 50lbs and counting, I love getting in shape and having the attention, very flattering from all you younger men out there!!!

                   I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A VERY         

                  HAPPY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to continue on the New Year, it is coming so get ready, start it off right, clean the past out, throw out the garbage and clutter....Start with a warm smile, be sncere, try the honesty approach, and mean everything you say, get honor back in your life and your words.....Be there for family and friends. Be real about date or what you are looking for don't use people and dump them. Put love in your heart and charity for others.

Make every day count and always pass on your good fortune to others...

Pay it forward and we all benefit!!! HAVE A HAPPY HOLLIDAY AND A GREAT NEW YEAR!!

Its coming to a new year again, so much is changing for me, I am now honestly working on being healthy, loosing weight down 5 sizes..yea!! Not to my goal yet but sure can see the results of hard work and know now what it takes to get there! Just about to the point of moving as well, its hard to start over when you sell everything put a child thru college and now ready to get on with your on life!! But in the next couple of months that will be actually happening as well. Moving into Dallas area, closer to work with all new furniture, bills paid, and ready to have the private personal space I have been craving for.  Now to work on getting my trust back in man kind. One bad thing about being on any site, and trying to date, is you run across all these people that play head games, and find it easier to lie online than to tell the truth. After having done this and chatted for so long I find I have lost a bit of myself, my sweet vulnerable side, i have lost my trusting nature in people and i really hate that. I don't like assuming the worst will happen, or oh he is to good to be true. I really want to find that side of me again I want it back. I do hope one day I will have that man in my life that helps restore that side of me.

Why do people put on their profiles ....Oh Im real I don't play games, but then they want to email, or text or "chat" .....Never would you like to go got dinner, go to lunch...meet for a drink....Really no games??? What just to cheap for a date??? To lazy to put forth real effort? Just a few chats then damand sex?? LOL so unreal comon people get real or just be up front that you want online!! So Sick of men that are married lazy or just into computer and phone sex really it just gets old....

An no its no ALL about bdsm for me its about you and me as people! Morales, convictions work, faith love friendship...etc...you have to get along together in a common way to build a foundation.....and sorry but I am not into older men...I have spent alot of money and physical effort into getting my body in shape keep looking good and young and you need to be the same....i do tend to date and mix better with men younger than myself...

This is just more of my last entry, Im not really here that much as before and as I read some profiles here tonight now I remember why. Maybe I am special or different, I don't get into the beatings, the public play, But I know for myself and the wonderful Man my Mentor he gave me the opportunity to learn who I was and what type of sub or slave I could be that I am. That is one that is a lady in public in the professional world, a woman that truely has many interests and that is educated and can take care of herself, one that just would prefer to have a Dom to look after. I remember my Mentor once said girl your a more sensual sexual slave and I am sure He is right, but I do know I have morals values that I treasure and I still believe there is a man out there that would feel the same and have the same respect and morales that I do. I think that probably a 50's household is just perfect and the more I think on this I want to explore one day. But having said this I do enjoy a wide range of music and learning new things and exploring.

It's been too long since my last entry. I have gone through some major changes in my life. First of all I am single, not looking for my one necessarily but hopes I will find the One and who knows maybe He will find me. But regards to changes in my life I am recently coming off of lap band surgery for this I am thankful and so excited, losing the weight is teaching me to eat healthy to excercise and to look at food in a whole new light!! So having said this yes its a work in process but I can difently see a great new figure coming and coming along looking great and best thing is I did this for myself for my health and not for any MAN!! Its always best when you do it for yourself. Now in finding my one having said all that He will need to be doing the same being healthy looking to join that journey with me looking to stay fit taking care of himself as well as me. I am not here to settle but to only better myself and he should feel the same.

Just a thought for some of you out there reading the few words I put here....

 To forgive is to write it in sand as the wind blows the sand away and erases the wrong you wrote of..... 

To never forget is to write it in stone hopefully to cherish the words forever.....

Well here we are folks about to turn the page on another month, going into the lovely hot days of summer in Texas!! I may have some very exciting news in the coming months not ready yet to say it aloud but stay tuned could be some life changing events next several months...and no doesn't include a man  just about me personally and hmmm personal improvements..lol Now on to the important stuff I have been dating signed up on another site, vanilla, and WOW too funny so many men from CM were on the same site!! Imagine my laughter but hey its all good we each look to meet people in different ways. The men I went out with were so much younger than me I didn't realize how so man men these days are into women that are older, I always new that I prefered younger men simply because I never have looked my age and I tend to enjoy things men my age or older could care less about. But its been quiet fun as I have dated much the past 25 years, was just doing the single mom thing and working......I still look forward to the day of finding that one Master that i just fit with and that we jell together in vanilla and bdsm worlds... I am back to writing alot, writing short stories and alot of poetry, also from one of the guys I dated have been approached to write some songs for his band, so very exciting and very flattered how well my writing is being received now by the public. I am seriously thinking of publishing soon so will keep you informed. Well this was mearly a update about me and my life whats going on and keeping the writing goin!!! Remember takecare lead by example and don't forget your pen and paper!!

Sometimes it gets so frustrating and sad when you wait and wait and oh yea wait some more and well He or she doesn't appear or reveal themselves to you. So while your here yet again reading profiles answering emails trying to be all happy and hold to your beliefs....there that One comes into the email box...well for me that One would be my Mentor that everyone that reads my journal has read about from time to time. He usually just checks on me...He might read a journal or just stop by to see whats on my profile..i.e. making sure nothing is crazy there..lol or He will send that brief email that only He knows what to say....because He knows my soul my heart...You see any Master with any sense can spot  a true slave or sub and they appreciate what we go through and the frustrations we suffer while trying to find our One. Today like many other times it was a simple short email but one i needed to remind me don't give up and one day will be my turn He will reveal Himself....Thank You MisterB!!!

One other note i sent a email to a Master just to say sorry for His recent tragic loss...He was so kind to reply without any sexual tones or anything out of line. Thank You Sir truely its really nice to always make a new friend and i do wish You the best....

Don't give up folks there is someone out there for each of us, we just have to learn to read, write better, and please please be honest stop the games, be sincere. Really life is just to short to keep hurting and lieing to each other.

OK I just have to say this!!! I am here late posting just a nice friendly email to someone and hit send then boom!@!!!! Next pic in front of me is some man showing his ass an balls!!!! O> M>G that is just sooo not necessary!!!! PLEASE PLEASE save those pics for someone who ask you for them not for us few on here that do not wish to see your ass and hair balls an cocks!!! REALLY PEOPLE JUST SAVE ALITTLE TO SHOW IN PERSON OR PRIVATELY!!! geezzzz 

ok whheww i know no one cares nor will this entry change anything but sure made me feel better to post here no ALL ON HERE WANT TO SEE HAIR DICKS AND ASS!!!YUCKKKK SAVE It11111@@##@#@#@

Some are good some are bad, alot lie, few are honest, some are right some just right, some are bold some are meek, some know how to exude power some are powerful naturally they have nourished it, educated it, and took their bumps and came out smarter, some take the time to read, some take the time to really look..... 

Some do all of the above keep it quiet don't brag......the true sub the slave will see all this in Him and know how much He will cherish the one He chooses.... 

now this won't make sense to alot but i know it will to One.

Its been a while since i have written about my "Mentor" and His slave. i was so lucky when i started this journey to meet the best "slave" ever she stood out from anyone i met in person i watched online with her beliefs in being a slave and serving her Master/Husband. she was so kind to ask her Master to Mentor me and He agreed to do so and still today would be there any time i needed a as He calls it a "Tuneup" in behavior. Or for questions and guidance. Sometimes i think its why i never committed to a Master i have not met one that has His values His strength and His morales. Please don't misunderstand we were not sexually involved nor did we have a relationship it was truely a training "Mentorship". It taught me alot and what i was looking for in the bdsm world. So for you so called Doms and Masters you may need to take some training of your own. as a slave or sub i look for qualities in a Dom and Master that is honest, strong, that believes in working hard supporting himself an supporting His sub/slave morally sexually behavior and yes in this economy probably takes two to pay the bills. for myself that Master would want one great slave/sub to be with and not share i know He is out there He just hasn't shown Himself to me yet...THANKS MISTERBLISTER Sir an slave shy!!!

Alittle more about me the sub that longs to serve, but the sub is not easy and not jumping to serve just anyone....The woman in me that loves to shoot pool...shoot some patron...loves sundays and the dallas cowboys...can shoot as good as any man...bait a hook with the best of them...looks great in heels and fancy dresses...always has her nails and toes manicured...can cook and clean as good as your mom....yes i am a well rounded woman that lives to please and serve but not to just anyone..but to the Master that will cherish me for life...as i will him...

To funny to read a profile and He says I want honesty, sincerity, outter beauty dies inside beauty last forever...yadda yadda yadda, you make a date he picks the day, the place, the time, and oh he doesnt show or call...you know the kind that stands you up the fake the liar the game player...yes you local sisters out there i will be glad to share his name for he is on this site.along with others that girls online have shared with me. It is really time we all share names to put a end to these people that are just game players.

Sometimes I just have to laugh...reading these profiles about how tired men are of the fakes online..ok PLEASEEE if you are 60 years old and your trying to meet a 20 year old well what the hell do you think your going to get??? People really wake the hell up get into reality look in the mirror, check  your bank account, date within your means..lol COME ON GET REAL AND STOP BITCHING!!! Now we all know there are tons of fakes and scammers online men and women, use your brain ask questions, remember the saying IF ITS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE IT USALLY ISNT TRUE!!!

One listens,  observes,  touches, smells, till it comes natural maybe a habit, passionate, heated, a yearning that stays, never quinched. Have you experienced  those  feelings,  desires, saw it in a couple? A man A  woman? Did you wish it were   you in that place? Did you say thats  what I am missing, thats what I  yearn for  every moment of the day.

maybe there is a new  trend  on  C.M. on profile of late  i am seeing   Doms with looking for a new  playmate. Playmate? Am I reading  Playboy? When I see that  in the  first line of a  profile i just laugh think ok  another player  or swinger. But for real its so  sad  how people relate to bdsm  as just  kinky  sex  the more  you can bed the better.....well at least  its gender  fair because women and men  seem to come on here for sex not bdsm.

its been  kinda quiet on here of late...i have kinda gotten away from looking for a Dom on this site, just because i never met anyone that was single, truthful or really interested in a   friendship/relationship etc....sex is easy to find the hard stuff well that seems to be alot different...lol Anyway  a nice sub/slave here is single an interested in a nice Dom...smiles

ok  to clear up some emails no i am not taken no i  don't have a Master nor am i seeing anyone at this time.  work and family has kept me busy these past few months, thank goodness things seem to start slowing down. YEAAA JUST IN TIME FOR FOOTBALL!! i always am  happy when i read profiles of those i know on here   that seem to have found their "One", i still find it alittle odd that they announced it on here and they keep profiles on here, and they announced how they are so complete now.  maybe its just me be i feel i am complete as i am, and if i was to get married, or move in with a Master, trust a profile on here would be gone!!!! lol friends would have our phone number or email address...lol ok i know i am sure that is just how i think!! lol but you know its my journal its where my thoughts go...lol.....ok yes i have a new hair cut, new sassy cloths, and oh yes sassy attitude still there, i am sure i am need of a tune up from  a strong Master!! smiles hmmmm wonders is that You? Is there that special Master out there for me?  Well i hope so, if you think it might be You PLEASE step forward and stop hiding!!! lol This special slave/sub is here and waiting to learn Your lessons, Your teachings, Your ways!!!

Yesss its coming into Holiday Season, i love it having family and friends so close, picking out those special surprises watching their face light up with excitement as they open a present , everyone eating great home made food that you slave over!!! So much fun....  You know sometimes i wonder if anyone reads  journal entries. i do enjoy seeing what males and females write...i have seen  some Doms write of women how rude or fake they are some of these same Doms i have just sent a friendly how ya doing email to and received nothing back....so  please before we go throwing stones look in the mirror first.  i am truely happy in my  life, i have a wonderful son, a great career, and loving family n friends. i stay  on this site truely because i have friends here and yes  i still love playing pacman...lol But to think i will meet my Dom  my Life long partner here oh hell no, there are to many here without jobs, married, fakes, liars and just plan ole game players that don't know the first thing on how to treat a sub much less a independent woman.  So bless you all and i still wish you luck on here if  you are stll looking....MOSTLY  before i forget  HAPPY HOLIDAYS KEEP THOSE CLOSE TO YOU CLOSER AND DON'T FORGET RESPECT  LOVE, AND HONESTY!!!

All is  right when you catch a glimpse of your Master give that oh so slight smile looking at you, it could be the way your dressed to please him, it could be that great feeling during a scene when you know deep inside of yourself yesssss that really pleased him, it could be the way you just served his drink to his friend.....its the best feeling when he gives that smile just because he knows you belong to him........

silence is golden....with the start of school that kept running through my mind...silence is golden....silence it tells the truth....silence the truth that was right there in front of you all along....the silence that spoke the truth ......yes silence is golden

                   one Behind You.......

Behind You walks the one who listens when You had a bad day....

one who has Your house clean, Your meals ooked on time...

one who  cherishes all of the looks Your eyes give her.....

Behind  You walks the one  who gives You her heart, soul, respect, her most precious gift her total submission.....

(thank You my Mentor MasterBlister)

Mentor's if your lucky enough to have a great as i did teach and help you learn and find your special gift...He is one i will never replace or forget....and of course thank you sis ( His Shy)...love B/both .....

Smiles at the many strange emails i receive from this site.  Sometimes i truely wonder is there such thing as a Real/Time Master/Dom?? Do they still take their responsibilities to heart, are they men of their word, can they truely take on the responsbility of a slave, support, love her, treasure her? Is there a place for a slave that is sensual loving, honest, that in her hurt wants to serve One Dom, and He to only want her to always be honest and loyal to her? Is it to much to ask One to be single, to have a job, to take care of theirself, to have morals, to know how to dress in public, to know how to act in public around family and friends, then to know how to treat her in private??? please would love to hear some thoughts, maybe i expect to much, maybe my expections have grown old and out dated, if so i truely am waisting my time here..