Hisservant

It never ceases to amaze me how true song lyrics can be, and just how much they can reflect exactly what's going on in one's life.  For all you 80's buffs out there, you know Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got...till it's gone".  How true it rings...

I lost my Uncle this week, and i am just realizing how much i take things in life for granted.  It was unexpected, and there are so many things I'd always wanted to say to him, or to tell him, but figured i had time. 

If you have something to say to someone, say it.  If you have something you want to do, do it.  Live every day for the day... like it's your last. Pretty cliche, but no less true.  Never regret anything, because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted. 

Peace.

In my travels around collarme, i've recently "stumbled upon" a most interesting Man, whose words and candor contained in His profile lured me in for a closer look... He is indeed a Gentleman, and i find myself lucky to have inadvertently found His profile and look forward to a wonderful friendship with Him.  There are few genuine people here, and i feel blessed that they have somehow, some way been brought to me... You know who You are, *smiles*

At any rate, this passionate One wrote a poem in 2002 about an experience of His, and though some details are a little different, it resonated within me of an experience of my own... It moved me to tears, and describes just what it feels like for me to be in that place that only He can bring me... 


  Fade to Black
by MasterStAndrew

 I remember meeting that fateful day,
You chose to cast a glance my way,
We spoke of dreams and desires,
That burn brightly in our hearts afire.

Minutes turned to hours,
Hours turned to days,
So much alike,
In so many ways.

 One day the time,
did we greet,
We chose reality,
Was time to meet.

I remember that day,
The morning sun,
We met half way,
This would be fun.

I recall my smile,
upon seeing your face,
It was time,
You remember the place?

We sat,we spoke,
we built a bond,
We knew right then,
this would go on.

So forward we pushed,
in time and space,
It was our destiny,
It was our place.

Several times,
did we meet,
To seal this trust,
Now so complete.

We pushed forward,
this was so real,
The time was now,
Our fates were sealed.

We have come so far,
from the first passing glance,
I led you forward,
Its time for the dance.

The room was dim,
The candles were lit,
If there is a reality,
This surely was it.

The bonds of trust,
now securely in place,
I could see a calm,
crossing your face.

I selected the blindfold,
and put it in place,
Both our hearts
how they did race.

A blizzard of emotions,
They began to swirl,
I lean in to whisper,
"Do you trust me girl?"

I felt you shiver,
as I stroked your head,
"Yes Sir"
was all that you said.

I almost felt sorry,
I could smell your fears,
Behind that blindfold,
I was sure there were tears.

I had been in this place, time and again,
This was no game, But we both would win.
I selected the tool,
Let the dance begin.

Slowly I start,
The leather it falls
The echos it makes,
Do not pass the walls.

You tense and relax and cries do refrain,
Throaty moans, and whimpers,
You call out my name.

Your skin now glowing as if giving off light,
You dance for me slowly you have earned the right,
I gaze at your wonder,
A beautiful sight.

Its time to step up my pet,
The whip it will sing,
Oh how you have grown,
Adoring its bite and its sting.

Every inch of you seems to burn like fire,
I am merciless, fulfilling desire.
You arch and lean all muscles do strain,
Your bonds,they hold you fast to the chain.

Sensations you feel that rush through your brain,
What a feeling this thing they call pain,
Your worrys, and cares my strokes to drain,
I hang up my whip and reach for my cane.

There you teeter,
the chains have no slack,
You ride the edge,
of a Fade to Black.

Where are you now my pet,
as you begin to fall,
The cane strikes out,
you answer its call.
Again and again and again it falls,
No mistaking its crack,
Then a few final blows,
On your thighs and your back.

I see you slump,
your bonds holding fast,
My gift to you over,
Done with and past.

I hang up my cane,
and return to my flower,
Time has no meaning now,
Minutes to hours.

You are not with me now,
In your Fade to Black,
I am not concerned though,
I know you`ll be back.

Take flight my love,
My delicate flower,
This is your time,
I give you the power.

So many questions for you,
when you get back,
Like where do you go,
when you Fade to Black?

You tell me its like nothingness,
Not a thing you can do,
Sometimes you hear me,
And sometimes its Blue!

I cover your body,
the blanket is warm,
I hold you against me,
like the end of the storm.

I watch as you fly,
My focus on your eyes,
My fingers tracing,
the welts on your thighs.

You soon return,
to my time and my place,
your eyes are now open
I brush hair from your face.

I gently kiss you,
all over your face,
Welcome back my love,
from your magical place.

Some people say,
this is brutal and tragic,
To us its a dance,
The cane and its magic.

The dungeon falls quiet,
But it knows we will be back,
For soon she will need,
another Fade to Black.

Thank You, Sir... for this priviledge.

Isn't it amazing how the simplest of sensations can trigger the most intense emotions?  A scent... a sound... a touch... can unleash the deepest of thoughts.  i have always been one that relates (sometimes subconsciously) a sense to a particular event, therefore often times triggering memories and emotion when that sense is provoked.  For example, a song playing during a first kiss... surely one remembers that, and how the song reminds you of that so clearly every time you hear it. 

 i have come to realize that is why i tend to connect so fully with my Dom.  It's why feeling the pain caused by His will at His hand is so pleasurable... i associate that pain with His Dominance, the safety in His voice, the tenderness of His kiss.  Yes, a masochist i am... moldable into a presence living only for Him.

In her place one hundred candles burning
As salty sweat drips from her breast
Her hips move and I can feel what they're sayin', swayin'
They say the beast inside of me's gonna get ya, get ya, get...

Black lipstick stains her glass of red wine
I am your servant, may I light your cigarette?
Those lips smooth, yeah I can feel what you're sayin', prayin'
They say the beast inside of me's gonna get ya, get ya, get...

I beg to serve, your wish is my law
Now close those eyes and let me love you to death
Shall I prove I mean what I'm sayin', beggin'
I say the beast inside me's gonna get ya, get ya, get...

Let me love you too
Let me love you to death
To death

Am I good enough,
for you?
Am I...for you?
Am I good enough.

-Type O Negative

i think that's the last of my Jager bomb days for a while. Enjoyed an evening with my sister (who is also my best friend) and brother-in-law last night and definitely had more to drink than i should have. But, what the hell... we had a great time,  i'm just moving pretty slowly today.

An odd thing happened; i woke up this morning with an odd sort of pain on the back of my thigh, and what looked like a welt about 5 inches long.  i noticed in the pile of things that i just threw on the couch when i got home last night, there was a bull-whip. 

Ahhh, yes.  mind is coming back now.  See, my sis and bro-in-law raise some cattle, and therefor have a bull-whip (stop laughing).  LOL
Needless to say, my brother-in-law got froggin' around and gave me a few good cracks with the whip as i ran around the living room table silently begging for more, yet desperately trying to keep them from discovering the pleasure i received from it. 
The mark hurts now... but it didn't last night.  They said i didn't even flinch when i got cracked with it.  LOL.... silly vanilla's. 
i'm looking at the whip now... coiled up on the couch, silent. 

FATE
...happened today