Reflections:
As she gazes across the vastness of the ocean, she sees the rise and fall of the tide, depicting how her life has been over the last 48 years. The magnitude and beauty leaves her in awe, filling her soul with hope for the future, determination for what could be!
Slowly she walks towards the waters edge, allowing the white foam to come closer to her well pedicured feet. She takes pride in everything she does in her life and wonders why it is that she is always in a place of “conflict”.
The ocean seems to call her, beckon her closer, drawing her in to where she can no longer feel the harshness of the environment on the outside. The beautiful deep blue waters almost seem to be a comfort within its velvet softness.
Sinking down onto her knees, she feels the grainy sand on her skin and yet it feels like heaven compared to what her heart feels at this time. Closing her eyes, she takes in a deep breath, filling her lungs with the salty air, the dampness of the familiar ocean playground she grew up around.
Her mind is drawn to her children, her two wonderful boys. With fondness she remembers them and how much pride and joy they have brought to her in her life. She is jolted back to reality when her memory recall reminds her how much she misses them and how much she has lost out on their lives and the memories she has not shared with them in the last 8 years. She wonders if her choices in coming to the USA were worth all the anguish and suffering, her and so many of her loved ones have endured in her noted absence? Many questions race through her tired mind, her weary body barely coping at this point in time. How wonderful it would be to have family lunches, gatherings and just to hang out together. A smile gathers in the corners of her mouth as she hears a familiar voice in her mind saying: “Do not agonize over things you cannot change at this time”.
How much she misses Him, how much she longs to have Him home!
Out of the corner of her eye she sees the glistening of some shells, broken into pieces on the sand from the raging storm the night before.
Rising to her feet, she makes her way to them, approaching carefully, so as to not damage them more, hoping to find some of them intact. Most of the shells showing their good side skyward, while their shiny side lay dormant against the damp beach sand. Sifting through the many shells she cannot help thinking how similar our lives are to these broken, tossed around shells. Our lives tossed about by our experiences, appearing weathered and worn on the outside, even looking damaged beyond practical use, but still we shine on the inside when given a chance.
There are no perfect shells. There are no perfect people. Why do we waste our time trying to find PERFECT? It is non existent. Sometimes the best person for you is standing right in front of you and you don’t even know it because you are so busy looking elsewhere. Or you standards are set so incredibly high that no one can possibly meet them.
That is not to say one should settle for the first broken shell you find in the sand. But to never pick up a shell because the next one may be THE perfect one is sad, just terribly sad!
Nearly as sad is to never pick up another shell because it will never compare to that first shell you found on that first beach you visited years ago.
Let it go!
In awe she walks quietly down the trail of broken shells, careful not to trample on the ones she does not choose. Suddenly she is jolted back into reality when she hears…. “crunch, crunch, crunch” A young couple walking hand in hand through the shells, stopping occasionally to pick one up, destroying the rest thoughtlessly.
How many of us do that everyday??
Wading through the crowds, picking out the friends we want, tossing aside the ones we view as undesirable, stepping on the others?
All of us have faults and shortcomings and it is our TRUE FRIENDS and family that forgive and look past those faults to love us anyway.
We need to thank God for our friends and family. What would we do without them?
The sun is starting to set now, sunbeams streaming down onto her matured face, the hazel hue in her eyes, brimming with tears as she reflects on the majesty of nature, God and life. If she should die today, at least she would have known what it was like to really love someone, to understand what it feels like to accept another human being without conditions.
Her heart is tender at this time, not knowing where her future will take her, or if the outcome she desires will ever become a reality, but what she knows today is that she has been loved by a man who stepped into her life from nowhere, an unseen KNIGHT IN SHINING WHITE ARMOR and there he was and began to heal her heart from the inside out. Then he was taken from her and everyday she tries so hard to be brave and strong, but it is not easy.
The wind begins to blow now, tossing her thick hair around, flipping it across her face, brushing away the salty tears, as she walks into the distance, the light begins to fade and all that is left is the sound of the ocean. The crashing of the waves against the shoreline.
2010, WILL be different!!!!!!
AND NOW................................ 2011 will be even BETTER - YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
“Tough Times, Tough People”
