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I prefer to be called Goddess....
I'd like to say that I'm cute, funny, the answer to your dreams.. and I just might be.. if your dreams include CBT, nipple torture, biting, male chastity and anal play! ;)
I am a BBW! If that is an issue, don't even bother to contact me!
I will add, I am opinionated and stubborn, so you will see me not being afraid to speak my mind. Brutal honesty is my specialty. So be prepared to handle the TRUTH!
Now on to the fun part....
Am I looking for YOU
By this I mean, do YOU think you are up to the challenge? Let's see if what you have to offer and what I will accept even come close...
I am looking for either a man who is a switch but more of a sub or a true sub. I love to boss men around and command complete devotion. I need to always be treated like I am the most important person in the room and that I matter above everything else. In return, I promise that I would take very good care of my boy and show him both a firm hand and loving tenderness. I am more then willing to show the right sub how to switch for me when I need it. I prefer to be addressed as Goddess. if you think that you are worthy of this, please be able to provide a current face picture when you are asked for it. I really don't care to see just how small your cock is. Trust me, I'll be sure to humiliate you enough about it in due time.
I expect my boy to be a MAN above all else. He should have hair on his body, a manly voice, hands that show he isn't above working hard and a soft kind heart that is open to being loved and adored.
I am a Goddess, and expect proper worship, adoration, beautification, indulgences, obedience, trust, truth, admiration, fidelity, and above all else, love. I expect conversation, giggles and cuddles, opinions, thoughts, exchange of ideas, good times and bad.
I am looking for someone who is very real and can carry on an intelligent conversation. If the situation is right, I am open to a LTR. I'd like to not get caught up in endless emails and/or IM's that lead to no where.
If you are not serious, please don't waste my time or yours.
If you are not local, don't even think that this will ever lead to anything more then just friendship.
If you don't have unlimited texting or a camera phone, I'd invest in that.
If you are married, committed emotionally, or otherwise just too damn busy to serve me as I deem fit, don't waste my time.
If you cannot see me fitting into your “vanilla life” or would be afraid to be apart of mine... Really? Do you not get what a D/s, S/m relationship is? It is a RELATIONSHIP.. PERIOD, end of discussion!
I don't do drama and have an uncanny ability to completely cut someone who is about drama out of my life.
Think its a joke, TRY ME!
Things that I am not and will never be into... Cross Dressing, Scat, Branding, Furry, Brat, Pedophilia, Animals, “Race Play”, Fire.. please note this list isn't all inclusive so it can and will be changing.
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How far are you willing to go to seek the true happiness you have been missing in your life?
What price do you put on fulfilling the life long hopes, dreams, desires you have suppressed for so long?
How long do you plan to waste your time living by others sets of rules?
Do you really think that people in your life will forsake you because you are truly happy?
Do you really think other people you know care what you do in the context of “Bedroom” activities?
These are some of the questions you should ask yourself before contacting me. Hell in fact, I encourage you to answer them when you do contact me!
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Fear is something we all live with everyday, a true man gets past his fear and uses it to find that eternal bliss only he can create for himself. Living in fear never leads to happiness, love, joy or freedom. It leads to shame, isolation, depression and self hatred.
You decide which one works best for you.....
And let me know...
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Not everyone's cup of tea....
This came up today when I was talking to a friend about another "fucktard" as they called them who I have been speaking with. Yes,imagine that! Sweet is talking to a man... BIG SHOCKER! Any who, this is someone I again did things differently with and again have learned something I kind of already knew but, I guess it was time for the big Slap in the face moment!
I am not everyone's idea of a dream, nor do I want to be. I smoke, can be loud and rowdy, am fat ( I prefer to use the word then say overweight or plump), am on the taller side (5'9" without shoes), and have 2 dogs which often get referred to as baggage. I also don't live my life in secret or hidden. Additionally, I do not live in a fantasy world where BDSM is a dream or a part I play when the mood sees fit. I live this to some respect in my everyday life even when un-partnered. I don't have a glamorous job making 6 figures but, it is the most rewarding job I have ever worked and one most wouldn't or couldn't handle. I love hard and completely with all that I have and more that I didn't think was there. I'm loyal if I allow you in and would kill if you ever were hurt by someone or something. I have emotions and a mind and use and show it on a daily basis. Often, my intelligence is under estimated by people who just have no idea. I'm good with reading someone, even via text, chat or email. I don't need to see you in person or your body language to know and see things in you that you don't even realize about yourself.
Now, one may ask, "Why does Sweet feel the need to say all of this?"
Well, it boils down to this, I am very secure in who and what I am. I don't believe in having anyone submit to me because they are blindfolded, restrained, or otherwise can't have a real say. I believe in submission as something one chooses to give to me. That they will trust me enough to take them to places they can't themselves even phantom exist. It's not for the faint of heart to allow, truly allow, someone else to have that kind of control over your body, soul and sexuality. It's something few, so very few ever are brave enough to take the chance to do. And it's something rare and beautiful when it happens.
See, in the end, no one is perfect. We all come with flaws and damage that needs to be dealt with or worked through. Now, sometimes things can't be helped... I always say, you can't fix stupid! But, if one is truly stupid, they wouldn't have a clue what they wanted anyhow.
To many focus on money, perfect bodies, perfect plastic lives that look great to everyone else but, themselves. Instead they hide or deny or live in a lie they think will make them happy. They lose sight of what happiness is. They think it's money, or that perfect body they have or on the one they parade around with them. They think the nice cars and fancy clothes are happiness. In the end, those things will all be gone and what will you have left....
BDSM is a dance of sorts. It's certainly not for the faint of heart of someone on the fence about what they want. It's a commitment of the sum of all ones parts to another in a way that can't be explained since everyone feels and sees it differently. In ways, its almost spiritual how the dance is played out. It's about trust, love, attraction, courage, fear, and so on. It's like that ride on the roller coaster that will never stop.
Some are brave enough to actually make the leap. Others choose to be on the sidelines dreaming and fantasizing about how much fun it is or how much sex they will get. They just don't understand the true commitment it takes to really be involved in it. It's not about a fetish or all kinky sex. It's not just about playing a part or escaping your normal vanilla role for a while. It's about setting yourself free. Allowing yourself to be happy in the context of a loving relationship where you are with someone who is truly in-sink with who you are at the core of you. They aren't dazzled by all the bullshit you portray to everyone else. They understand what you need and know how to bring things out of you few can ever understand. And even fewer would have the knowledge or true heart to do.
Yes, I'm sure some of you have heard or thought these things before. I think it can never go unsaid. Each person who is serious about what their role is, comes to a moment in their lives where they do self reflection and take a moment to look deep into themselves and decide, what works best for them. Some may decide it isn't for them. Some may decide that they just want it as a side dish, a diversion once in a while from the vanilla life they lead... Still others, step back and realize they want it all and will settle for nothing less and with all that they are... Will make it happen! |
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End game is coming soon....
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There is a part of me that wants to still hold out hope there can be some people in this world who still have integrity and understand what that means. Who want to actually be truthful and honest and have a life filled with happiness, love and acceptance...
The more I see, the more I think it's not possible. There is just to many things to distract one from another. To many ways to get instant gratification that one is not able to focus on another long enough to really, honestly, make an informed decision on if something will work or not. Its easier to hide behind technology and pretend to be something you aren't. It's just easier for everyone.
Maybe I'm the one who needs to catch up with how the world is now. A world where you don't need to have anyone in your life to care about or physically have around you. It's a world of cybersex and phone sex and online Domination. It's where anyone can pretend to be whatever suits them and that is what it is.
Well, that isn't me! I can't nor will I live like this. Where no one cares about anyone or really wants to be close to anyone. Where everyone just wants to hook up and live miserable lives with a partner that everyone but them chose.
It's bigger then keeping up with the Jones. It's become who can have so many on the hook at one time and then hope they don't cross paths. And if they do, then they just scarp all of it and start over again.
I wasn't built like that. Yes, I believe in certain types of things and live them but, that doesn't mean I can't nor do I want to have someone I can love. Someone to share my life with. Someone to have my back.
I'm selfish! I don't want to live in some poly life where I get a little bit of attention and have to be happy with that. I don't want someone who I can't trust with everything about me. I don't want someone who doesn't want those same things.
I have found for so many men. Especially the submissive kind, they are so good at baring their soul to you. Things no one may know but, then it's like once they have bore all of it, they need to more on and find someone who doesn't know all their secrets. It's like they truly want to be with someone who doesn't or won't understand them. It's easier that way, they don't have to ever really commit emotionally to anyone.
They can dress alone, suck all the cock they want to alone, whore themselves out in any various fashion.... alone. I'm finding its way easier for to many now a days to just do that. Live a lie in misery then to be with someone who accepts them for who they are and is encouraging or accepting of how they want to live.
Till, the day I die, I will not understand it and I refuse to live like that. If that means I live out my life alone, so be it! |
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Funny, the things you learn when you aren't even trying. Games, to many play them... And sad really, they only work if you are actually smarter then the one you think you are playing them on.
Sadly, many men need to learn better skills at running a scam... Or trying too! |
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The below article made me think..... I hope it does the same for you as well...
http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/19/men-who-e-maintain-women-the-art-of-texting-whats-up/ |
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Removing Toxic People
What a great read and something that we all should strive to do!
http://www.survivormanual.com/2010/05/removing-toxic-people-from-your-life/
Sadly, those this applies to NEVER SEE IT! |
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I am coming to a very sad realization that there maybe no men who are submissive who have an ounce of integrity left in them. This is a sad day, to say the least... |
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Standing by what you say....
This just happened on that place where THEY seem to rule and control what others think of say! THEY must be really proud of themselves... I love clueless who don't know me but yet seem to be threatened and what not. Funny, this person who just did this, always whines and is a pot stirrer...
Yet again, I have been blocked by someone who can't nor won't stand by their word or conviction. I find this completely hilarious because, I have never run away or done that to anyone. All it shows to me is the level of immaturity by so many people on here which is a representation of real life.
And people often wonder why this country is in the state it is in. It's because to many people feel the need to hide and not stand up for themselves or what they believe in! |
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A day of reflection....
So, I'm sure most have heard about the plane crash in Russia today. For a lot of people it will just be tragic but, for us Hockey fans, its a day of ultimate sadness. The Chicago Blackhawks lost 2 ex players in the crash. It's beyond sadness what I feel for these people's families and friends.
Stories keep coming out about ones mom had a massive heart attack and died upon hearing the news. Another ones wife had to be hospitalized because she is pregnant and distraught over this. I'm sure as the days go on, I will hear more stories.
At some point, this will disappear into obscurity and be all forgotten. Sadly, this will never be forgotten for the families who's lives will now be forever changed.
Sadly, something like this reminds one....
To not forget to tell someone you love them, for that might be the last time you see them...
And remember, every day about ground, is a good one! |
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Today, I was given a dose of the reality I have been looking for. It shows that pleasant surprises can happen when you least expect them. |
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OMG! This is hysterical... And again sadly sooo TRUE!
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7083569/i-am-a-pro-domme |
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Nothing makes me happier then to spend my evening getting to know someone who understands where I am coming from.... |
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Wonderful evening....
So, I spent my evening with a wonderful man and a very green newbie. It was more vanilla then not but, I had a fabulous time! I hope that we can spend more time together in whatever capacity we can see work out. He is a beautiful soul and I'm glad he has walked into my life... |
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Surprised....
Tonight I did something I don't normally do. I actually did a search, a hard search for some information online. I can't say I saw or found anything that shocked me to greatly. I was happy that the things I wondered about didn't show up! Then, I found other things... like a locked twitterbird account. I sent a request, if it is never accepted or denied, then I have the RED FLAG I have been searching for...
Secretly, I hope I don't find it... I don't want to find it.
When something seems to go to be true, I have to do that thing where I start looking for a crack.. because we all know, that those are there... That they will show up... The issue is, are they deal breakers or just normal everyday cracks...
Time will tell on this one... |
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Thank you to a beautiful boy for sending this to me. This is beyond accurate and completely sad at the same time. Sadly, this is the BULLSHIT I and many other lifestyle Mistresses run across this all the time..
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8325689/the-meeting |
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“You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
~Dr. Seuss |
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Intimidation....
Today I read a blog on another site called Intimidating which has got me to thinking more and more about myself. This is something I have been told time and time again I do to people. I have also been told that I appear unapproachable in public (this would be in a bar/club setting). And frankly, I just don't nor have I ever really seen it.
I tend to be the friendliest person in a room without being obnoxious.
I command attention without doing anything but being me.
I am always including everyone in something without blatantly making anyone uncomfortable.
I am confident in who I am.
I am confident in what I am.
I do not seek others opinions to validate my self worth.
Maybe there are differences in what people look for in a woman who is Dominant/submissive. I honestly don't know. I look for a man who has a brain.
I can't stand obviously stupid people period.
I can't tolerate ignorance.
I can't tolerate people who are so self absorbed they can't see past themselves to the bigger world around them.
I can't stand anyone who has zero compassion for the bigger workings of the world around them.
Personally, I love that I do have this intimidation thing about me.
I love that I take no ones' shit.
I love that I don't kiss ass or blow smoke up ones' ass just because THEY feel I need too.
I love that I am not everyone's "Cup of tea".
I love that people feel I'm condescending to them and talk down to them.
I love that I can be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
I love that I am more complex then what I appear to be.
See, to me that is what makes me more interesting. It's what sets me apart from the pack. What makes me worth more then just the cookie cutter Dominant women out there who pose as such. Who will do and say all the right things to obtain and con a submissive man into thinking they are getting a prize.
Ah, my friend, you truly have it all wrong. For the best prize is the one you have to work for. The one you have to search for. The one you have to actually put in work to obtain. What fun would it be for anyone if what you truly desire in this world was just handed to you on a silver platter? |
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I have found these articles to be some of the most excellent I have read to date. Should make one want to stop and think about exactly what it is they truly want to achieve in the pursuing BDSM. And how to properly treat a Domme!
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/midori-real-risk-kinky-sex-0815111/
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/midori-female-domination-0228111/ |
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Cultural Shift
When did the cultural shift happen that lieing,deceit, and cheating are all acceptable?
I guess I missed the memo on it. Maybe it happened while I was married. Maybe it is just what happens with all the instant gratification that is available now. Maybe, just maybe it has always been here and I never saw it.
What happened to actually getting to know someone before you are already looking seriously for someone else?
What happened to integrity and honesty and truth and loyalty?
Just, what happened to all those things that make some worthy of you giving your heart, soul, body and mind too?
To many people, think that time is on their side. They feel they have an endless amount to find that perfect person who is everything they want wrapped up in the package they want. The eternal 29yr old hottie with a banging bod who has the wisdom of someone twice their age.
Sadly, this isn't a reality. Hell, it isn't even a realistic fantasy.
See, with experience come wisdom.. time gives one that ability if they are given the time to gain it. Some don't have the luxury of time. Some don't realize that time is a fleeting thing. Something that once it is gone, you can never get back.
One never knows when their time is up! I never understand waiting and wishing and hoping that tomorrow they will be ready... That tomorrow they will have the time... See, sometimes tomorrow never comes because today was your last day on this earth!
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I always find it amazing who my admirers are... a very vast and variety of people.... Thank you to all who feel the need to do that. And for those who don't, their lose I guess..... |
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Many people don't even know how to be themselves , too busy trying to fit it in with everybody else. |
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Been doing some serious thinking lately about my journey into finding someone in the lifestyle to have an actual full relationship with. Part of me says, "Don't give up.. keep up the search!" but, a bigger part of me is just DONE!
The endless games, BS and what not becomes to much sometimes. If I had no heart, feelings or a caring bone in my body, then I'd not care. I'd thrive on all the endless BS and ego inflating. Alas, that isn't me.
I will be disconnecting for a bit. Those who I want to be in contact with, have other means to contact me... .Others, well, email will go unanswered for an undetermined amount of time... |
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So, my friends ask me all the time...
Why do I continue to look for a sub?
Why do I waste all this time on men who obviously can't appreciate me?
Why do I do this or that?
Lately, I have been really doing some deep reflection on just that. WHY???
The best answer I can always come up with it, "Well, why not?"
I mean, how am I to ever find someone I can be happy with for the long term if I don't try. How can I find someone to love again... Someone to share and show new things too.... Someone who truly can appreciate all of me, the good and the bad.
Funny thing is, just when I think I can find that, the cracks show.... the lack of commitment on their part shows... I see things I don't like... see things I shouldn't like....
Then the best part happens, I see the truth about them.
I have written about fear before. Sometimes in blogs or in my profile. It's true what I say, FEAR cripples sooo many. And more then I ever realized in this lifestyle...
And all this searching has helped me to see so many things about me that I love. That are positives for that right submissive when he does come around. I have seen how others treat submissive men and it does truly disgust me.
See my friends, I'm not a man hater. In fact I love men. I love cock. I love how they are so very different then women. Their smells, their tastes, the deepness in their voices.. So VERY different...
I have also come to realize THIS is what sets me apart from many Dommes. The sheer fact that I am that way! To Quote a friend.. "you are a gay man trapped in a woman's body."
And I'd have it no other way.... |
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I am finding more and more that the only men willing to contact me seem to be at a great distance... Not sure why this is but, it has become a bit maddening! |
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The more and more I speak to submissive men. I am seeing just how the sheer person that I am, can and is to much for most to handle in person...
Sad for those because they honestly cannot deal with the reality of it all... What a loss and a shame for those who choose to cast it aside.... For I do not wait around or dwell on anyone... Either you put up or SHUT UP! |
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Ah, and as always, it seems that to many submissive men are at is again! It seems like every few months, a new crop or maybe its the old crop, of losers and posers crawl out of the wood work to send messages, begin talking then.. FLAKE OUT!
I am sooooo OVER IT! If, you are NEVER SERIOUS about doing anything then WASTING MY TIME, please DO NOT CONTACT ME! |
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Um... WOW!
I received this on another site.. just.. WOW! See, there are men who understand the NKOTB thing I have going on...
Well it looks like from your profile I can see you got the right stuff. Thats good because Im Single also. Sooo.....what kinda person are you? What do you like to do in the Summertime??
I hope your not a stuck-up chick, you seem like you could be a bit of a Covergirl. Me, I'm an easy going guy, a bit mellow sometimes hyper and thats about it. Your not gonna get any Games with me. Im genuine, I aint no Dirty Dawg
Shoot me a message later on Tonight if your up. Maybe we can talk over the phone or chat on line. Not tryin to rush anything lets just take it Step by Step. Never know you could end up being that Valentine Girl...j/k. i'll be up till about 2 In The Morning if you wanna chat later on Tonight! Call It What You Want but I gotta Funny Feeling about you.....LATER!!
Peace |
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Sometimes, I have this over whelming need to use and abuse a sub... To inflict pain and laugh in their face.... To watch them squirm under my hand...
No, not the kind of feeling I have to find one to grow with, cherish or love...
Why, WHY is it so hard to find one I can do just what I want with and then discard of them like nothing....
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I often wonder why someone will contact me if they haven't read my profile... I'd like to think I'm pretty clear on what I am looking for. If your hard limits are things I love...
Really? You think this will work out how?
Soooooo FRUSTRATING! |
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New personal best for a phone conversation... 9hrs!
What did I gain from it? Honestly, it was a great conversation, with a great man.... I look and don't over analyze things like this. Now, if I was a head case, desperate, or delusional... I'd be all stating, "We are in love! He is now my boyfriend/sub/collared slave.".
I do soooo LOVE I don't live in those fantasy worlds where you make mountains out of mole hills! |
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Popularity Contest
So, it's funny how some feel that things on the internet are about being popular. I have never bought into that. To me, being popular with a group of people I don't know, don't care to know, or honestly aren't real in my life have never been something I have courted or understood. I don't understand the motivation of said people. What it is they gain from this kind of behavior? Wouldn't they rather be popular with people they can touch, taste, and have real life relationships with? Wouldn't they find that just so much more rewarding at the end of the day?
I guess that everyone has their feelings and needs in their lives, I guess mine are more of the real life variety. I find many useful things on the internet and message boards and such but, popularity has never been one of them.
It goes along with bullying, slander and intimidation... It has no place in my real life and no place in my life on the internet. Again, these are things that seem to run rampant and take hold when people who are fake can hide in their homes and do as they see fit.
Funny thing I have found about all of the above, these people can't and never will do those same things in real life. They tend to be meek, shy and weak. They are the type who won't defend themselves, use people for their own gain, and well in general aren't the type of people I would ever care to be associated with.
Funny, sometimes I even have to remind myself and close friends when we get together to talk about such things, of those very facts.
At least on the internet you can block people who annoy or bug you. Sadly, they can and will create bogus profiles to continue to fuck with people because they have no lives.....
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Something great I read posted by a submissive male. I think that most men on here could learn from this....
PLEASE NOTE: This post is about how I have experienced male submission. There are, of course, an unlimited number of ways any D/s dynamic can unfold...
I want to write a piece about the female dominant/male submissive dynamic for anyone who is curious or wants to understand it better...but who is a bit unsure of what it might entail. I can only speak for myself, of course, but I am confident I also speak for a great many submissive men who I have known in the D/s community and as personal friends. I suspect there are a lot of dominant women who will also agree.
Based on recent experiences, I think I should start by pointing out a fallacy that seems firmly entrenched in certain communities: Male submission has nothing to do with being weak, meek or lowly. Genuine submission (beyond just scene play) demands strength of body, mind, and emotion. It requires willpower and dedication. It requires self-discipline and putting something on a higher plane than personal ego or instant-gratification. (HIGH values in a man, as I see it.)
And like many of the very best things in life, it is a challenge.
But the rewards are AWESOME.
It is hard to describe how HOT it is to be around women who are free to let their sexuality and desires go as they choose. To be around women who aren't confined to servile roles. There is a fire in their eyes that is almost hard to describe...and it is focused on you! The play is electric, the sex is just smoking-red-hot.
Successful male submissives, as I have epxerienced it, are generally not tamed, weak, unmasculine men. Most women I have known have no desire for that. They want challenge and playfulness and heat. And because they always know they have ultimate control, they engage in it fearlessly and ferociously. Even in moments of high protocol and service, there is a smoldering fire underneath it all. A woman who knows she is truly adored by a man who has placed her even above his own male ego is indescribably exciting to be around. And she respects you for it, even in the most forceful moments of the power exchange. It is a sybiotic experience. Each of you going someplace higher than you were before, and appreciating each other more and more all the time.
But beyond even all of that is the very rewarding experience that comes simply from this act of placing something of value ahead of your own fleeting whims. It is something very close to a feeling of pride and honor. While obviously not quite the same, think of how people talk about sacrifice for God or country. It feels good. Women absolutely blossom - with passion, energy, excitement, and heat - when they are free. Their very eyes seem to come alive with wicked, hedonistic desire. And you cannot help but knowing that you are the one who helped bring them there...and the one who will get to relish in the pleasures that result!
I think there is often a HUGE misconception about very term "male submissive" in some places. Just like the term "dominant male," it is nothing more than an adjective that describes a man's preference when it comes to interactive kink with one or more complimentary and consenting partners. It is not a title, it is not earned, it doesn't define your worth, it doesn't grant you any special privileges, it doesn't mean you should be simply "tolerated" by anyone of differing preferences, and it doesn't make you higher or lower in status to anyone in the D/s commnunity.
It means whatever it means to you and those you connect with...and that means an endless range of possibilities. It is an equal share in a exciting dynamic, even if that dynamic is based on power exchange.
For me, "submissive male" means that I thrill at being a strong, enabling, and deferential force for the woman I love, cherish, and worship...and who turns me on like no woman ever has. I am not submissive to anyone other than my Mistress...who also recently became my wife. I may play with others as she consents, and even enjoy the experience, but my male submission is about one person only. In life we are partners. Equal in respect, admiration, support, laughter, and adventure.
She doesn't put me low, I elevate her high. One of her favorite sayings is that "only a man who I look up to is worthy of kneeling to me." And she knows she is safe and free to indulge in all that it entails. If she felt any different, I wouldn't be with her. It is a hot dynamic for us both. It makes us very happy. Both of us.
I do not judge anyone's kink. I have no doubt that there are men and women who genuinley prefer the maledom/femslave dynamic. I am sure they see it and know it in ways I do not, and in ways I have no strong interest in exploring. I hope every last one of them finds what they seek. I really do. And if they do, I am truly, genuinely happy for them.
But seriously, for me, there is just nothing as sexy and exciting on earth as a woman who fearlessly gobbles up life and eagerly pursues her passions without restraints. I am certain there are some men, possibly curious about this dynamic, who are scared or intimidated by it all...but as Virgil said - Fortune favors the bold. Throw in kink, and that favor is...just...wow!
Yep, women rock. And I love being one of the lucky ones that gets to experience their full, unbridled passions...regardless of the strength, willpower, dedication, self-discipline, sacrifice...and occasional bruises...it may cost.
(And did I mention how hot hot hot the kink is??)
You just can't possibly know unless you have the courage to explore it.
Please be sure to share your experiences or thoughts! As I said, this is how WE see it and have known it. And don't be afraid to ask questions. Exploration is one of the truly awesome things in life. |
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Games, I do not play them... If you do, please move along... and FUCK OFF! |
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Sad that I am deciding that men, submissive or not must really think I'm STUPID, DUMB, BLIND or just completely CLUELESS!!!
Sadly, I am none of those... |
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Disclaimer
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Please... PLEASE!! Do not contact me and say that you have read my blogs and are what I am looking for... When you OBVIOUSLY HAVE NOT!
I am not about to change what I want or like just to fit a subs wants/needs..... If you expect that, then you OBVIOUSLY are CONFUSED!
Thank you... Please move along..... |
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I wonder what goes through someone's mind that they feel they can just plain ignore someone for days and expect them to be there and understand when they have no clue what is going on..... Honestly, I don't play that with any man who wants to sub for me.... |
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There are reasons why I never put all my eggs into one's basket.... |
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There is this thing I call trust... Violate it and its a one way ticket out of my life. I am seriously starting to think that everyone thinks this is a FUCKING JOKE! |
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I saw this and had to share... I think it is very much true.... at least as it applies to me...
A Domme is even more acutely aware of her femininity than the typical vanilla woman. She ISN’T just looking for a boyfriend. She is seeking something very special. Very erotic. Very emotional. Very spiritual. Very powerful. Something deep and meaningful, far and above just going to a movie and coming home and getting laid. She is looking to enrapture a man. To be worshiped and adored as a woman. To be loved and needed so deeply that she can enjoy her most intimate and passionate desires with someone who needs her attention so much that he willingly gives up his personal power and thrives on living to make her smile. |
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Shades of Grey...
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So, as I just get done with a phone call with someone who I did see for a time and he needed time to work thru some stuff... and we lost touch and now have been back in touch for a while... Anywho, I started to get annoyed on the phone call and he asked "What's wrong?". So here I went kind of going off on him and realizing that some of it gets lost on him but for the most part I know he hears and listens to me...
I told him, I see things very much Black and White, right or wrong and not in shades of grey... Well, I should have known he would get silent and really start listening because of the tone in my voice...
So I proceeded to tell him I am sick and tired of people who pull my chain.. who are hot and up my ass then cold and distant. I don't understand that behavior and I never will. He tried (god love him) to explain that sometimes people meet and need to take more time to really know someone before they move forward, if they ever do. Which I do agree with. What I don't get is, if you start seeing someone and its all going fabulous why, rock the boat? Why start questioning shit? Why cause animosity within what is happening? Why not just go with it and see where it will lead?
It's maddening to me that I can't always control things like I want too. That I can't control men from flaking out! That I can't get off this fucking ride I am beyond sick of riding!
Yeah, I'm in a mood... I need to really lay into someone and get this out... I need to satisfy my urges.. those sadistic urges... those that can only be done when I have someone under my hand squirming, looking into my eyes pleading for me to show mercy but afraid to utter the words, allowing me to push them to a new level... Ah, that will so do the trick! Maybe, I need to make a phone call or two and see what I cant make happen... |
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Choices and Inadequacy
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So I have been doing a lot of reading lately, blogs, message board posts, comments, emails, FB status, tweets... Now, not something I don't normally do but, I'm looking at things a bit differently as of late. Maybe it's because there is someone new with promise... Maybe it's because I have changed... Maybe I've grown again... Not sure what it is but, it's happened. And what am I taking out of all of this... Well, that everyone... and I mean EVERYONE makes their own CHOICES or at least they want you to think they do. To many people do truly live their lives based on what others think, feel and tell them they should.
I have NEVER done this. I have always done things as I saw fit. Lived how I felt worked for ME. Said what I felt in my heart was right for ME! I have never been a lemming to the fire type. In fact, I have at times chosen to take the less traveled path because I felt I'd learn more that way.
What I had never encountered until this time in my life is clearly being told I'm not adequate enough for things that may or may not be in my control....
You aren't a suitable person to date because I have children and you could never be a good mom because you don't have any.
REALLY? And people always think that is a choice that I have made based on what? Because I don't have any? Because they think I'm selfish? Lets just say, it's because they don't KNOW ME!
I can't be involved with you because you have dogs.
WOW! So I have pets... Doesn't that show I am capable of loving and caring for something other then myself. That I'm not selfish. Or does it mean that I'd have to make arrangements and can't just run away at your whim.
Your just not what I see or pictured a Domme/Mistress to be.WOW! And this is based in what? Fantasy? Pro's? Wannabees?
I could go on and on... the list would never end. What I often wonder is, why do people always project on others their own inadequacies instead of dealing with what needs to be fixed within themselves.
Listen, no one is perfect, EVERYONE has flaws... But sometime in the recent history it has become easier for people to point fingers at others then to take personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions. It has become common place to be shallow, unfeeling, rude and just down right ignorant. There used to be a time, when you would never dream of personally attacking someone based on things that just were surface level. Now it has become common place and acceptable behavior. What happened to compassion, couth, tactic and CLASS? What happened to the days where people actually felt those things mattered in this world?
Maybe its the lack of human contact most people have. They are able to live in a fantasy world of on line where they can find people to continually boost their ego and censor what they don't want to hear... What they don't want to believe... What doesn't fit into how they want their life to look to them...
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Even a Domme needs.....
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Ah, today is one of those rare days I find myself melancholy about everything... Yes, I have a stable of sorts to choose from to get my physical needs met but, today I need the emotional ones taking care of. It's funny how that seems to be lost on most all men... submissive or not.
I am a woman first and foremost....
I have needs sometimes where I want adult conversation, longing looks filled with love and promise...
Some days, I crave intimacy.... Today is the day!
Is it wrong I want someone to sleep, actually sleep next to me?
Is it wrong I actually have these feelings and admit them freely?
And WTF is wrong that I'm turning down beautiful boys who want me to have my way with them?
Oh, yeah, its that whole neediness I'm feeling....
This to shall pass.. |
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I lifted this from someone else... I thought it was thought provoking...
So You Want to be an Owner: The Realities
Originally posted to the Iron Rose Library in 2001 by Kim Attica
As a real life owner of slaves, and based on an article "So you want to be a slave" by miria hunter, I’ve decided to take a stab at the other side. So You Want to be an Owner. I speak from my own perspective, and my own experiences. Your mileage may vary. I think, however, that there are quite a few areas from my experiences that will overlap in yours.
The fantasy of having someone at your beck and call, someone to order about at your whim, someone who will serve you sexually non-stop, is a fun one. The realities of being an Owner are rewarding, and they can be fun, but it is also a lot of work. Carefully consider before you leap.
Are you prepared to make sure this person is cared for? Are you willing to take the time, and spend the money, to get them included in your will? How about the legal paperwork to have yourself declared a health care agent for them, so that if anything should happen you can make decisions for their well being? The paperwork so that you can take care of their financial concerns should something happen? What about their retirement fund? If they’re going to be your live-in slave without an outside source of income, what sort of money are you putting into a retirement fund for them? Health insurance? Bored already? Then being an Owner isn’t for you.
Do you want to order your slave to wear a special uniform? Perhaps you enjoy a formal maid’s outfit. Be prepared to shell out the bucks if you want them to be in your home all the time. Remember, they don’t have an outside source of income. If they do have a job, the reality is, they need to hold down this job. If you want them to have this income, it becomes your job to make sure they are available to work the job. This includes making sure the tasks you have assigned are not such a burden that they cannot perform well on their job. Suddenly, with this option, they aren’t really available to you at any time. But it’s practical for financial reasons, and often for the outside stimulation the slave may need to keep them emotionally healthy.
Do you have the patience when your slave makes mistakes? Making mistakes is a part of life. It shows the slave is trying. Or, sometimes, it shows the slave is testing. Do you have the insight to know which is which? Do you have the patience to be consistent? A slave thrives on consistency. If doing X got a finger shake last time, and you said "next time you’ll get a spanking," and X happens again, the spanking must commence. Owners don’t threaten. They do. Do you have the self-awareness to know when the slave is doing X just to get that very reaction out of you? Can you determine when you’re being "played?" And how are you going to handle it? Important to know, because how you handle it will either maintain, or crack, the power structure. In my opinion, once damaged, it is almost impossible to re-establish a power structure within a relationship.
Can you stay calm enough to discuss problems without getting emotional? You’re in charge. You have to be able to tell the slave what’s wrong, and what steps are going to be taken to correct the problem. You also have to be centered enough to deliver unhappy news without getting overly emotional yourself. Your slave has been looking forward to event Y, and for whatever reason, that’s not going to happen. Ok, you’re human, and you may have guilt. But it doesn’t change the fact event Y won’t happen. It’s your job to tell the slave. Don’t leave them guessing. And don’t let it go unsaid. You have to give the bad news.
Do you like to make the decisions? How many of them? How independent do you want your slave to be? Just independent enough to do the grocery shopping? Independent enough to rearrange furniture? What’s expected, what’s forbidden, and if you don’t know how should your slave know? Taking care of your errands requires that your slave has money. Access to your money is a vulnerable thing. How much do you trust them? How valuable are you willing to allow them to be? They cannot be valuable to you if you do all the critical things yourself. Part of allowing them to be valuable is giving them room to HELP you. That means choosing what you’re going to let go of. That also means when they need a time-critical answer, you give it to them. You don’t have permission to be upset if something goes undone and you never made a decision. Remember, you’re the one who established they needed to ask you in the first place.
Slaves are super-eager to please. Can you tell when your slave is getting sick? Maybe even before they realize? Can you tell when they should be sent to bed early? It is the slave’s job to come to you with such things, yes. But often, if you’re watching, you can tell before they have even pinpointed what is wrong. Just as observation is a critical skill for them, so is it a critical skill for you.
Are you willing to take the steps necessary to make your slave more valuable? Figure out what will make that slave more valuable to you, then make it happen. Even if this means telling the slave "find out when the next class on creative writing is, and sign yourself up." Be prepared to pay for, or strongly subsidize, those skills that will make your slave more valuable to your household. Yet, at the end of their time with you, they walk away with those skills. Are you noticing that this isn’t all fun?
Take the time to tell the slave when they’ve done well. You don’t have to compliment them on the dishes every day. But once in a while, noticing that the kitchen is well kept would be nice. You also have to take the time to tell the slave when they’ve done poorly. You need to be able to explain it clearly, with specific examples. "You didn’t clean well enough" is not appropriate. "I expect the computer monitors to be cleaned once a week," is. Because you were raised to wash the windows once a quarter doesn’t mean your slave was. If you expect it, say so. Then it becomes their job to keep track of when it’s due.
Owning a slave is rewarding. You get to help guide them. You get to have a clean house, errands that are run, and your time is freed up in so many ways for the other things in life. That’s great. I’m confident you’ve already thought of all the bonuses. This is an effort to offer up a viewpoint of the daily realities. The biggest reason an Owner/slave relationship ends is because it turns into equal/equal. If that happens, and suddenly your slave is more your romantic partner than your slave, the best thing you can do is to acknowledge it. Decide what needs to change for this new exciting phase of your relationship.
Can you say no? If you begin to feel beholden to your slave, then the slave is in charge. There is no leeway here. If your slave wants a huge play scene (and slaves always do, and twice on Wednesday thank you) and you do it because you "should," you’ve done a world of damage. Providing for the slave’s "needs" is a must. It’s up to them to determine what they can, and cannot, live without. That’s not your job. Your job is being HONEST about what you can, and can’t, provide. Are you willing to watch a slave leave your household because they feel "Z" is a need, and you’re unwilling to provide "Z?" Or are you going to try to convince yourself maybe you really want Z? The instant you let yourself become beholden to a slave, the power structure is altered. You need to steer clear of the emotional games so many relationships include. You need to be clear with yourself, and your slave, what you are willing and unwilling to provide. Everyone deserves to make an informed decision. This includes your slave. And, painfully, very few things last forever. This means you get to be supportive, and gracious, when a slave has outgrown what you have to offer. Can you be that in the midst of the parting of the ways? Because no matter how amicable, goodbyes hurt. Or do you need to twist the knife and try to play the guilt game because they’re no longer getting their needs met with you?
And one last thought…
The person in the relationship who holds the power…is the person who has the least to lose. Follow that to the logical conclusion, and this is the person who can walk away if the relationship is no longer emotionally healthy for everyone involved.
Is that you?
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For any Domme's in the Chicagoland area who are interested.... I am compliing a list of submissive men who like to play games from here.... Contact me if you would like to have the information I have gathered to share with you! |
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If you contact me and I express that I am NOT INTERESTED... Please be respectful of my reply stating such. Do NOT keep contacting me... If this happens, I will block and or report you for harrassment! |
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There are things I will never understand...
I will never understand how one can Own someone who they do not nor have ever been even in the same state with....
How does one own someone who they can never touch, hold, kiss?
How does someone know that they really are compatiable with if they do not spend real life time with them?
How can some people take something so special and sacred for granted?
To me, Owning or being Collared is a kin to being... at minimum commited to someone. And by that I mean in an actual dating situation. I can not ever see myself Collaring or Owning someone who I cannot have a vanilla life with. This is why I don't play with married men. Oh, and trust me, I've run across some who claim on here they are "single" which to them ment that they weren't in a D/S relationship. UGH! Those men really are a bit clueless... I feel sorry for woman who are Dommes and Mistresses who have that low self worth that they feel that Domming from a distance makes them a Domme... I'm sorry but in my eyes, its just play. Being a Dominant isn't telling someone on cam what to do. It's feeling them struggle under your touch. It's knowing that they are doing this just for you and not because you are the one avaiable on cam at that time. It's about all that intamacy that the two of you create inside the dynamic that is your relationship... Oh, I forgot, there are some who don't think this is a relationship... Its sexual play..... |
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So, tonight as I was lurking on another site, I saw something that had a familar look to it. I dug deeper into what I saw.. and low and behold if it isn't another profile for the man I had been seeing for like 6 months. I was LOLing because it was kind of funny. Just shows more and more how he so wasn't worth my time.
More and more, I tend to run into that. It's sad really. I'd like to think that the gene pool would have produced a better quality then I seem to keep running into. The longer I am single, the more and more I keep being sadden to think of all the women out there who can and do get taken advantage of, made fools of, and just in general think that being treated like SHIT is ok.
I'm thinking I need to find out if I can teach a class in.. Smelling bullshit from 20 feet. How to avoid men who are douchebags! |
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Happy New Year!
So, it's been a long while since I last blogged... Not to much to say, status quo for me.
Same chit different day....
Men and the games they play....
Blah, blah, blah....
I've had it! I'm about done with all of it.. The lies, deception, the crap.
The I want a Mistress but, I can't make time for you....
I'm having a bad, hour, day, week... I can't see m to be around anyone right now....
Blah, blah, blah...
I think they all forget who is in control. Who makes the decision... If I say jump, I'm not asking can you.. I'm saying JUMP!
Now, I get it's a crazy time of the year for everyone but, seriously... You earn things from me....
When I give you my cell number, you can't just drop off a convo via text. Um, who is in control? That seems to be lost on submissive men I see. To many things seem to be lost on submissive men... And those things are adding up for me. Making me think twice about it all over again. I forgot why I walked away from all of this all those years ago. Funny, it's taken 1 yr for me to be reminded.... |
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This explains a lot about me in a nut shell.
Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ...
8 - the Asserter
Thanks for taking the test !
you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").
"I must be strong"
Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.
How to Get Along with Me
• Stand up for yourself... and me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• Give me space to be alone.
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.
What I Like About Being a EIGHT
• being independent and self-reliant
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• upholding just causes
What's Hard About Being a EIGHT
• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
• putting too much pressure on myself
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right
EIGHTs as Children Often
• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• are sometimes loners
• seize control so they won't be controlled
• figure out others' weaknesses
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as
the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings
EIGHTs as Parents
• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
• are sometimes overprotective
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid
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An Open Letter
Now that I am looking at prospective men... I have realized that maybe MY profile just isn't clear enough about what I want.... I am going to use this forum... as a way to state it plainly....
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When contacting ME, please send something thorough and complete. I do not want to have to drag answers out of you... It's beyond boring and time consuming for ME.
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If you garner MY attention, be prepared to answer questions truthfully and with honest answers... I DON'T DO BULLSHIT!
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I understand that you may tremble at the first touch of ME but, please I am not a monster... nothing to be scared of!
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If you say you will do something... DO IT! I don't like being kept waiting or having to constantly find out what is going on...
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I DO NOT CHASE ANYONE... PERIOD!!!
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If I meet you, and you decide you aren't interested... SAY SO!
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I am not like most Woman, Domme, Mistress, Goddess... I will give you a voice... USE IT!
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I am looking for a well rounded person... If you aren't one, please don't pretend to be so..
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My time is valuable... since I don't have much to waste... DON'T WASTE IT!
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I DO NOT LIKE TO BE IGNORED!
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Communication, COMmunication... COMMUNICATION!
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Remember, that to be with ME, requires... you to be flexible... Look up the meaning if you don't know what it means!
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Attention... I like... I expect it... No EXCEPTIONS!
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Service... It's required...
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If you have any questions about any of these... ASK ME! Really, it's ok to do that!
So, I hope I have made myself clear... Also, I love proper spelling.. Be warned, that I do answer a lot of email via my phone... Which makes it hard to do spell check. If you are doing the same... TELL ME!
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WTF! Can I say as a Domme I am very disgusted at the men on here who DO NOT FILL OUT THEIR PROFILE!!! Do You THINK that WE have nothing better to do then... CHASE AFTER YOU! |
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| Age: 27 |
| Tampa,
Florida |
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