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Here are a couple of hints:
If You approach a slave with: "here is what I want to do to You" in the first e-mail chances are we get creeped out by that.
EVERYONE has limits - some are just different than others. Limits change depending on the relationship.
Seriously thinking about the answer to "what are your limits?" as : anything you do. Perhaps been in the lifestyle too long; even if W/we meet - the first couple of times we do so aren't going to be in session. |
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Sometimes
Sometimes wishing that things could be different - does not help
Sometimes knowing that difference motivates to move into a different way
Sometimes learning that difference is the most painful thing
Sometimes understanding that difference helps us realize much more than we ever thought
Being authentic to our very core can make a difference of one step in a relationship
Not living authentically can be our very death
Sometimes want overrides our mind
Sometimes need is greater than our heart
Sometimes neither wins |
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Attitude
The last few months have not been easy for me. A lot in my personal life for various reasons have not went the way it was planned. It is easy when this happens to become unfocused and to allow your life to fall apart.
While i would like to say i had some magic solution; the fact is, i allowed my life to get out of focus and it started falling apart. It was not until today that a thought occurred about the position i was in and how that affected my slavery. As a slave what are my responsibilities and duty? How would, if i was owned; an Owner accept what was happening? What did i need to do to be the slave i am? Why am i not accepting the challenges that lie before me and meet them in a way that is pleasing to everyone around?
It then became an understanding that there was a choice. The choice was to be pleasing during a hard circumstance or to allow the difficult situation to turn me into something that was not whom i am. The next thought was what would be my responsibility and reaction if this were a lesson from an Owner. It took me a moment to focus in and decide that despite the circumstance my attitude could be pleasing. It was not easy and there were moments that i had to refocus because i wanted to have a self ? pity party. It took a concentrated effort to continue to be and have a pleasing attitude.
Every day there comes a new realization that my slavery is beyond the walls of a dungeon. The lessons i learn through Owners that have contact with me can move beyond that moment into the world. The realization that while my life is not always what is wanted or planned; how i react is within the choice and power that i have. Today was
a good day ? i smiled, i laughed and even work did not seem so hard. Several times i had to refocus and figure out how to make my attitude better but somehow the knowledge that this was in connection to my slavery made this choice even more
important to be successful. It is through this lesson that i learned about difficult challenges and overcoming them to help me see the depth of where my slavery can go.
While i do not believe that this lesson is finished; it certainly has helped me realize that
the strength i learn when facing a whip can help me face the circumstances that life
may have for me.
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Processing Pain
One of the presentations i do is about processing pain. What so many do not see is all of the preparation for a presentation. During the preparation time for this presentation, i talked to pain specialists, many Tops/Owners (etc) and many Bottoms/slaves (etc.) It was probably one of the most intense preparations i had for a presentation. i struggled with this presentation both in content and how to present it for a long time and could not figure out why it was such a struggle at the time.
It then was pointed out to me by a very dear friend why there was such a struggle in my own dealing with the subject of pain. "It is because you are afraid to admit that you need and want pain in your life." That took me back as it never dawned on me that i was not alright with the pain. How after all this time in the lifestyle could i struggle with pain? What was i suppose to do now? How after all this time could i become in peace with pain? The thoughts flooded my mind and a realization.
The realization was that i had not admitted to myself that pain was not a want anymore but a need. It was then that i realized that processing pain was something that became positive for me and that through processing pain i was more focused, centered and productive. It then became a realization was that this not only carried through in my personal life but my professional life.
Each breath through the pain makes my body more awake to the moment, each moment that my hands open to accept it is a show of growth in my life and each thought of strength when the pain overwhelms is the knowledge that somewhere deep down lies the courage to face the impossible. Admitting that the pain is necessary does
not come easy some days. Growing through the pain is what i learn each and every
day; as pain is not just for a moment but a life. Building myself to become more is a life
long journey.
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A Funny moment
This actually happened some time ago. I was just thinking about it.
Was reading someone's profile about a funny moment and was just reminded of one of mine - this was sometime back.
Setup: Working in the mental health field on a team of Master's degree and bachelor level mental health professionals.
Team meeting - normally very boring, staffing time.
Delivery: Team member was aghast at a doctor for "stapling" one of her clients cuts without anesthesia. Without really thinking i said out loud, ?but it doesn?t hurt.? [This was a bit louder than i really meant and really i just wasn?t thinking.] Team member turns and says, ?What?? Again, without thinking i repeat ?but it doesn?t hurt.? It then dawns on me what i?ve just done, i want to crawl under the table and go away and now i?m going to have to explain what i know.
Outcome: So of course Team member says, ?And just HOW would you know it doesn?t hurt??
Pause of 10 seconds for me to at least try and resemble something other than what i really wanted to say.
?i was at a medical conference when i wanted to become a Physician Assistant and in order for them to understand they practiced on people?s arms. It really just feels like a little pinch to be honest. Also when i got my gall bladder taken out they stapled me.?
It worked ? well at least they pretended it worked.
What i really wanted to say, ?Oh, i was at this BDSM conference, and went to this presentation it was soooooo cool and they stapled me and several others. But really it didn't hurt! Sometimes it really would be nice to have a more open minded society.
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So after an encounter with a bunch of well not even sure of the word I decided to let all my sisters and brothers of the chain know if you need to talk about any of the following people contact me:
GAGentleman
Christlover
Ibbky00721
Masterofthedark7
FirstRomance4u
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Please note chat does not work for me on this site. |
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I've noticed that people on here seem to think a few things
1) Just because I am not interested does not mean I am a fake or you are a fake
2) Don't assume that if you talk to me I will remember you don't be offended I don't expect you to remember me
3) If you approach me rudely then expect that is the way I will see You
4) I believe that everyone on this site seeks something it just may be that I am not what you seek
Oh and my favorite
If your going to block me I will consider you as nothing - the thing about the lifestyle is that we learn we are responsible for our actions
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If for some reason the chat request is not accepted please send an e-mail here. Sometimes the chat requests do not go through correctly. |
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Perhaps people just do not get this - so let's make this clear
1) If you expect within 30 seconds to "collar me" - you should seek a different slave because this one will not make a good one for you
2) If you can not carry a conversation without asking my breast size or if i can be nakkid for you - you should seek a different slave because this one will not make a good one for you
3) If you want me to deal with your business or money in any way -you should seek a different slave because this one will not make a good one for you
4) If you expect within 2 days to "collar me" - you should seek a different slave because this one will not make a good one for you
A Master/slave relationship takes a lot of time, trust, energy and work. Master's have just as much responsibility as slaves and vise versa. If it is rushed then important steps are missed and someone will get hurt physically and or emotionally. |
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PLEASE NOTE: I will not under any circumstance send you money or take a check for you or deal with your business. |
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Please note - I don't accept on line collars or people whom expect me to call them Master without meeting them. |
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