Home
Home
Browse Profiles
Browse
Collarspace Video
Live
Join Collarspace
Join
Collarspace
Dating
Dating
Collarspace News
News
Collarspace Glossary
Glossary
Collarspace Mobile
Mobile
Alt
Alt
Safety
Safety
Extreme Restraints
Toys
Friends
Live BDSM
Resources
Resources
Welcome to Collarspace
Welcome
Login
Login
Vertical Line
Sakura

girl70

Female Submissive, 24
Female Submissive, 21
Girl7777
Female Submissive, 28
Back
Back
Kinky People Meet
KPM
Collarspace Directory
Directory
Interests
 Interests

Friends:
Painhumiliation
It's amazing the difference in my mood after a workout.  Thank goodness because i could barely stand my other mood.  Not that its completely gone but i am in a much better place.

It's that time of year again....time to make those new year resolutions.  A new year full of hope and promise.  A new year to fail at personal goals.  i have been in a mood all day today.  Well it actually started the other day and d*mn if it isn't pissing me off to be so bitchy.  i am not normally so down on myself or so pesimistic. 
i have not been journally lately.  i feel like a flag snapping in the breeze.  Many have told me the benefits they have received through keeping a journal and i am determined not to give up on myself.

Good grief i have so many thoughts floating through my head tonight.  Well no actually i believe it is just the thought of Power, but i keep erasing how i want to express my ideas.
i miss that sense of inner peace and belong, that high i would get when i was submitting to Another.  To a degree i can still do the same things.  i can not wear panties, spank my ass until its bright red and on fire, make myself stand in the corner or for that matter any number of things mundane or sexual. But it is not the same as when some One commands it from me. 
At times its so hard.

True to form i signed up and spent a few minutes in chat one night and then ran away for a week. Obviously i am still struggling to accept that what i want/need is ok for a "good girl".  Being a "good girl" never made me happy and is vastly over rated.  i love the power play, the submitting, being pushed to the edge and the complete peace that floods my body at the end of a play session.
i will keep reminding myself that my dark, kinky, and even preverted fantasies/desires are ok.
A journal, now that is a bit of a scary thought. i don't like to think and ponder the whys and hows too deeply.  i am me and i like what i like and i am content with that.  So i have already contimplated erasing this post a number of times.  i think keeping a journal exposes me and make me more vulnerable then being tied spread eagle.  Some how i think that would be more fun.
Female Submissive, 34
Female Submissive, 31, Cambridge, Massachusetts
Male Dominant, 52, Richmond, Virginia
Female Submissive, 32
Female Submissive, 40, Santa Clara, California
Switch Couple, 26, PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania
Female Submissive, 24
Male Dominant, 40, Austin, Texas
girlee
Female Submissive, 21
Male Submissive, 44, Saratoga Springs, New York
Girlowner
Male Dominant, 40, Austin, Texas
Female Submissive, 42