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Female Submissive, 48
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Male Submissive, 26, baton Rouge, Louisiana
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Male Dominant, 49, Chicago, Illinois
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About foundq
A bit about me, then.
I'm a happily collared slave living with my master. Three years into our relationship, I'm still finding myself sinking deeper into submission as time passes, and I still find that I'm happier every time I let that happen. There were so many things I thought I could never live with when I was just a "player" doing scenes with doms I barely knew. Some of those men told me I needed more, that I was much more of a natural slave than a sub. I refused to believe it; I couldn't accept what it meant. Looking back, all I needed was somebody who could hold the reigns tight enough until I accepted who I really was. And I'm so glad that happened. Some kinds of resistance are born of fear, and for those things, it's a joy to be broken.
I'm not a perfect slave. But I try in a way that's real, never willingly disobeying his commands, always eager to do my best. His will matters to me in a way that's equally real; it takes precedence over my own, though I find this joyful rather than oppressive. I fail sometimes, yes. And in those moments, being told that I didn't do something well enough or haven't tried hard enough hurts far more than the whipping sessions I used to fear. I can handle the sound of my own screaming far more than his harsh words.
I exist beyond that, as he wants me to. Just as he wants me to accept my place with him, to be owned by him and obey him, he wants me to be capable of walking proud when our time together is done. And so I work at this too. I'm putting my life together, finding success, and finding friends. I feel safe knowing that my master puts our relationship in the context of the broader world. While he is a man of desire and wants, and while he has made it clear that it's my job to fulfill them, he's driven first by reality, not by arbitrary constructs of what a master and slave should be. He has ideas, yes, but these are not absolutes which are incompatible with the realities of the real world.
He is a man of power, though not in a crude way. Even outside of our relationship and outside of the world of BDSM, he is a person of influence. I don't speak of petty political or professional hierarchical power, though he has the latter and involves himself in the former. No, a great many people come to him as friends seeking his counsel, and they almost always follow the advice he gives. With no exaggeration, his words have meaning to hundreds. From both the dual-perspectives of person and slave, I admire him.
What am I like? I have had and still have my share of struggles. In some ways, I still work to recover from a past life which was not as kind to me as my present one. But I'm more than that. I strive to learn, to be articulate, and to openly and honestly engage others. And while I don't consider myself an intellectual, I still find pleasure in the moments when those pursuits bring people together, in eye-to-eye conversations in which ideas are truly exchanged and considered between two people speaking as equals.
Once I've overcome my initial shyness, I love to write, and talk, and play. I have a fair degree of BDSM experience, including some on the advanced level. I've never had a big drive to play with other subs, but I think I would like to try sometimes. While I have no natural tendency toward domination, I can play the role in short bursts.
I have a fairly sundry collection of hobbies beyond that. I consider myself a minor professional dance buff, as well as a minor enthusiast of dance history. I particularly enjoy contemporary ballet and modern performances, though I do like a bit of showmanship in the latter. Momix is my favorite company to see live, and I've done so a few times. I also like video games, typically competitive genres playable in short bursts, like FPS's and MOBA's. I find the repetitive endgame structure of MMO's to be a potential siphon on energy better spent elsewhere, but I do enjoy the genre as a social conduit. I enjoy anime, as well, with romance and fantasy my typical fare. And finally, I love to explore. New restaurants, new museum exhibits, new experiences, and even new people all have a certain allure to me. I love to get out into the world and see, to bear witness to life's diversity.
What am I looking for here? I'm not sure. I suppose I wanted to have a presence here as I actually am, not a profile which is more a relic of a troubled past, and so I'm here. |
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