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Female Submissive, 48
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Male Dominant, 49, Chicago, Illinois
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Female Submissive, 21, conway, Arkansas
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About FoundCake
I am the Domliest of all Doms. I am so Domly, I dominate Myself accidentally on a regular basis. I'll be brushing My teeth, doing a crossword puzzle, brooding attractively, or kickboxing (because I'm ripped and fit), and suddenly I'll start slapping Myself and calling Myself a good girl, commanding Myself to shine My boots and crawl to Myself on My knees. I don't know if any of you TRUE Doms will know how it feels. Ever seen a Dom so Domly that He flogs Himself? It's perfection on the level of a Botticelli painting. Btw, Botticelli's my uncle.
"how could he be your uncle, sirdomdaddymaster?" you ask, using no capitals because you have not yet earned your proper usage and mechanics privilege yet.
I will tell you as a show of good faith, because I already trust you and understand that you are the one submissive that is capable of breaking through My hard, cold, muscly, broody, excellently built exterior.
On top of being the CEO, President, CIO, and Top Chef of a multi-zillion dollar prosthetic baby limb manufacturing company, a part-time brain surgeon (member of Doctors Without Borders. Replaced a Pakistani woman's entire ribcage last week), AND a world-renown competitive eater (2005 Funnel Cake Eat-Off in Omaha was My crowning victory) I am also, to My great despair, a wretched and unholy Werepireshapeshifterfairycorn. And My mother was Jewish.
When I'm not busy cursing My damnable existence and mulling over My lost mortality and humanity while the light hits My bold, square jaw in justthe right way, I sail, paint, write, draw, ski, ice skate, play the piano, play the violin, play the xylophone, play the electric guitar (behind My back, blindfolded), practice archery, fence, teach molecular biology to blind, noseless, limbless, transgendered orphans, swim with the dolphins, live with the apes, hang the moon, tell the best jokes, go to all of the parties, collect vintage wine, parasail, ghost hunt, knit, cure cancer, ballroom dance, and have a wide selection of pencil crayons.
I am a strict raw gluten-free, sugar-free, fiber-free, dairy-free, lactose-free vegan ovo lacto vegetarian pescatarian. My food is so organic, the earth thanks Me for eating it.
I am searching for My one true love, who will be submissive, compliant, docile, malleable, passive, pliable, tractable, deferential, obedient, and most importantly hot. I require intelligent partners, but will settle for a two dimensional stock character who possesses vague knowledge of classic English literature in order to maybe pass as smart if I'm in a pinch.
If any of this is interesting, I give you permission to send Me a message, but be warned that I will probably ignore the living shit out of anyone who messages me, even if they're hot, and creepily, persistently stalk and pursue the first awkward, two dimensional stock character that catches My eye.
If you've read all the way to the end, congratulations! I see you have now familiarized yourself with satire. If you want to know more about the face behind this profile, just message me. Nobody's personality can be summarized in a text box and the only way you'll get to know me is through extended, sincere conversation.
I KNOW THAT MY ORIENTATION IS "SUBMISSIVE," BUT I'M ACTUALLY A MASOCHIST. I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM ANYBODY. I'M JUST A PAIN SLUT WHO LIKES BEING SLAPPED AROUND. KEEP YOUR DOM DICKS IN YOUR PANTS, AND IF YOU MESSAGE ME WITH INSTRUCTIONS, YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF WEARING YOUR BALLS AS A HAT. THANK YOU. |
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