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I think that I messed up and deleted my profile so well start over. I am a slave, and yes i have limits as we all do. I am well trained, nice, loyal, and very loving. I am not into animals, dead things, children, and scat. I beleive in safe, sane and consenual. I have a picture and will provide it upon request.
It is hard to say what you are about in here, or what you beleive, i do not play games, nor do it lie. At times, my honesty has caused me alot of pain and hardship, i am not the easiest person to know, for i am very guarded until i know you. I am not here for cyber and i will respect You if respect is shown to me.
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seems like this is a good place to journal. It is easy for me to express my feelings in writing. I am amazed at the profiles I read on here. Some sound so real and they are not. I really do not care to see dirty pictures of you and i would really like to have a good conversation. To order someone to get on another chat venue now so that I can make you feel like a master is such a turn off for me. Why would I follow your orders when I don't know you. If I here "it is not you, it is me" one more time I think I will go postal. Just be real, if you don't have time say so, don't lead someone on. And No, this is not directed to You. You say you want someone that follows and obeys, you meet, you get along, then you never hear from them again. Did you get your rocks off? Maybe BDSM is just a game anymore and does not exist? I give up, and just wonder why? Have a great life and hope that you find what you seek. |
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Pretty words does not make a Master no a submissive. If one tells you that she is submissive with slave tendices, does that make her a slave or submissive? Should she not know what is in her heart and what she is. Yes submissives get lost, and yes Masters get lost. What is importnat to remember is that together, one can find themselves again. We change, we grow, what might have been a limit is no longer but that does not mean that one can bully you into a situation or a position that you do not want. So many times submissves give in because they believe that this is the only way that their Master will keep them. I have done this and now I know that it is not the case.
Masters and submissives must have that trust. When one surrenders with or without experience, there is still the matter of knowing what is expected and one needs to be trained for what the Master wants. We are not mind readers and if we do not ask for clairafaction, we are at fault also.
Yes, I am submissive, not knew, so I will question and ask questions. Yes, I need more training, and willing to do that, but I alos know that I will not accept things just to keep a Master.
I am proud of what I am, at times i get lost, but I find my way back. Most of the time it is with help just like this time. If you have questions ask me. |
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It has been along time since I have journaled. I have changed a lots since i first joined this sight. last year i spent most of the year in the hospital. Oh the fun and joy. I do have to say I am lucky to be alive. I sort of lost who I was and having to do soul searching now to find who I am again. I know that i am submissive but I also know that I do have a voice and speak my mind.
My biggest turn off is when people tell me that I have no mind and that I am nothing. If you feel that I am nothing why talk to me. There is a big difference and it is called respect for each other. Then there is trust and honor. If i choose to serve you and you accept me, then it becomes D/s. Untill then it is a time for getting to know each other. I will be respectfull.
Right now i am still recovering from a illness so if i seem short when I answer question is because i am in pain. |
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Funny how one is not looking and you then find the one that is perfect for you. I have been blessed and found a wonderful Sir on this site. He is kind, wonderful, sexy, funny, and makes me happy. He brings me so much pleasure and this one hopes that we will have many fine times together. He knows who He is. He is my evvvvillll Master and girl is honored that he likes me also. Thank You Master. |
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Maybe it is just me, I am sure it is. If you tell someone the same thing over and over and over, and then they get upset cause you tell them that this is not going to work since they have an issue with listening does that give them the right to call you a player and a loser?
Never mind, I know the answer to that one. What is even more funny is that i actually gave this person another chance. What was I thinking. I am asked all the time what I am looking for in a Dom/Master. How am I suppose to answer that, I am sure that they are looking for the same things in a submissive/slave/switch that we are looking for.
I know this is a lifestyle website, and so many say i am true, I can tell you since I have been here, there has only been on Dominate that has asked me for a check list. I ask them, and I get the reply what is a check list? Red flag, maybe I should not be so safe, sane, consensual, well behaved and trained. Gee maybe that is what is wrong with me, I understand things.
Well i guess I don't seem to understand that much, cause i still have a "profile" here. All I ask for is hey there, how are you, can we take a moment or too to speak. I got a request the other day, was asked three questions, are you romantic, do you like to kiss, how do you feel about gang rapes. I sort of went off. Oh well. Sorry for my ranting and raving, and I do wish everyone luck. |
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I just had a very interesting experience. I was invited to chat, this person said we had chatted 3 or 4 years ago, and I am sorry, i have a hard time remembering what i did yesterday. I am a full time college student and a nanny. If you wish to speak to me speak to me, don't leave if i tell yu i have homework and then ask you a question. I stay away from married men, i have many that are friends, but if you are married and tell me that your wife if nilla, and she does not understand you, but you love here, why waste my time. I am not a home wrecker nor am i here to help you get your rocks off.
This might seem harsh and not very submissive/slave like, but be real. |
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this has been an interesting year that is for sure. Had acutally meet a "Master" was going to move there, and 30 days prior to me leaving he released me saying that he loved me too much. Yea Right. Starting talking to another "dom" we were getting along great and then out of the blue, no phone calls, no texts, no nothing. So i called, funny phone number was changed, profile pulled.
Must really be my charm and beauty. So this is what it is all about for me, HONESTY. If you dont wish to talk to me then don't start something and then if you do, at least show me the respect and say, hey this is not working. Not a big deal. And yes, i have been under some stress, lmao, and i am outspoken, but know my place.
If you all say you don't want a door mat, and that i am what you have been looking for, and then do not follow through, maybe one of us needs to take a few more lessons.
Be nice and play fair. Use some ethics and be real. I am a bitch at times, but one does have to be that way for protection. |
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It has really been a long time. So much has changed, but so much stays the same. My submission is still strong, and my desire to serve screams. Being older, one has to screen more, and i really hate the snide remarks about my age. Has nothing to be with my sexuality, my desire, and my heart. Honesty is something that i expect, i give it, and i show respect. Hopefully those that do they same well speak if not that is ok also. I am what i am and proud of it. Maybe someday, there well be one |
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I have not written here for a long time, and to be honest forget that i even have something on here. Friendships that one forms from here have been great, but i do have to admit that there are more idiots then geniune ppl. Call me a prude or whatever, but i will not play with myself or tease my titties while i speak with you on the first time or maybe not even for the 30th time. That takes trust, i don't trust easily, and i am very upfront up about that. Does not mean that i have an aversion to sex or over sensative, it takes a connection and becuase one wears a label does not make you that label. I am what i am, very proud of what i am, and will hold my head high, but i will not lower myself to your level so if that is what you are about, don't bother. Thank You |
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I want to thank those that have written, and many new friends have been made. One can never have enough friends. I have been talking to a few, and there is one that has shown what a gentlemen He is, and how truthful He is. That is also refreshing. It will be nice to continue speaking with Him. Thank You Sir. Maybe, some faith will return to me. Soul Searching is always the pits, and if one does not do it, one can not grow. I know that I have changed so much over the past year, looking at things about me that i do not like, things that i will change, but that still does not change me. When talking a one, does that mean that you will submitt the next time you speak. I think not, no matter how long one has been in the lifestyle. Well those that claim to be in the lifestyle that is. Thank You to those that speak to me as a person, and not someone that will obey your orders cause you are a Master.
Again, thank You Sir for being You, and i am so looking foward to this. Smiles softly. |
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As i sit here and try to compose thoughts, and try to make some sense of myself, my thoughts, and my beliefs that in the past few months have totally been proven wrong by most that know me, i am amazed at how my faith is gone. I always thought that my Master/slave relationship would be one of caring and growth for each. That there would be love and caring, open communication, words that can be spoken and truth of feelings and emotion can be shown. I do not believe that anymore, i read all the time that Masters do not want door mats, that they want submissives to be bright and have a mind, to be themselves, when in reality, they do want door mats. Submissives say that they are not door mats, but are, including myself. I speak my mind, i speak the truth, i do it with respect and honor, things many do not remember therefore i am not a good submissive that in the past few days has been pointed out to me since, i dont respond on the spot, that i don't drop everything at one time to rush to my computer. I do live my computer all most of the day, and i forget to log off of here, i am a horrible person. For thoses that understand what i am trying to say, thank you, for those that care to respond to what i am saying to talk and ask what is going on, please do, but if you want to write to me and tell me how rude and what a B**** i am, do not bother, i all ready now. |
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For those that write to me and i don't respond, do not take it personally, i work and attend school, and therefore i have limitied time here. As a submissive if you are owned or not owned, one of the responsbilities you have is to yourself, and that is not meant as a self centered comment. I served my husband for over 20 years, he left, took everything, i am 57, therefore i have to look out for me. I do not expect anyone to do that for me. Maybe this is not the place for me, but i enjoy meeting and talking to others that think alike, so i am not looking for anything, just friends. |
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It has been so long that i have written here, and looking back on some of my blogging, i have to laugh, for some things never change. I am a slave, i have limits, i am well trained, i speak my mind but with respect and always remember my place. So many try and make others think that their words are unimportant and foolish, which some can say are true or not. I am only myself nothing more or nothing less. I am a gift. Enjoy making new friends and seeing where things go. Enjoy You day and search |
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