Flame73

Well 2008 seems to be a year for changes. Cross is overseas again, which leaves me to deal with the day to day on my own. I no longer own a collared slave, we parted on fair terms, and that's all I will say about that. I am currently reexamining my stance on several kink related fronts. I sense that the time for change is long past. I need to take a good hard look at my preferred play style, my favorite kinks, and the way I deal with those I play with.

I'm once again seeking that elusive "one" the person who gets it, gets me, and can respond with a look to my every whim. A lofty goal I know, but having been there before, I know it exists. I'm not expecting magic from the point of hello, I'm realistic. But there are a few things I cannot do without.

I am looking for someone who knows their kinks, who can when asked, supply a detailed list, preferably in checklist format. I am looking for someone who understands servitude. I'm looking for a masochist,pain play is still an integral part of what I like to do. This person must have some basic personal qualities, a sense of humor, some wit, loyalty and a need to be controlled. I am poly so be prepared to be introduced to a larger group of people who are very much a part of my life.

For the foreseeable future I will be taking some time to look inward and make some changes, but I still welcome any reasonably intelligently worded exchanges.

Here's to change, it's inevitable.

Well 2007 is shaping up to be a stellar year. Cross is home, which is fantastic. I still see My wolfie on a regular basis, in fact I just had a great scene with him. It was a bit of a deviation from My normal scene, but it was for his birthday so I made some allowances.

I had My boy drive up to get Me then drive Us back down to his apt. We spent a quiet evening with some wine and some good old fashioned bedtime bondage. I tied his wrists, in a new longterm wrap style and then to the head board and his ankles together and to the side rail. It kept him nicely in place most of the night, though a knot did pull loose before morning. I suppose I'm a bit out of practice. I also blindfolded him securely. There's something powerful about sleeping next to someone who's completely helpless.


Upon waking the next morning I had the slut shower and prepare himself for Me. I am rather meticulous about how I like sluts to be groomed. I then securely tied the boy's hands and had him prostrate himself across the bed to recieve his caning. I worked over his ass for a half and hour with a progression of canes. I started with the springy rattan, then the whippy nylon and finally the thuddy delrin. My sluts ass was the most gorgeous shade of purple when I had finished. Though I must say the slut's self control and breathing is still quite disciplined. The noises the boy makes are delectable when the cane stripes his ass.


Next We moved to the bathroom where I planned to indulge one of My slut's curiosities. I took out the cold steel syringe and prepared the enema while he kneeled face down on the bathroom floor. Once I was ready I made the slut raise his ass and  recieve the syringe of cold liquid. Once he had taken almost the entire 8 ounces I pulled the syringe free and took up the flogger. While My little ass whore knelt with his head on the bathroom floor I flogged his back with the leather flogger. I paused periodically so he could feel the urgency build within his bowels, then I went right back to flogging. Eventually he begged to be allowed release and I left him to his relief.


Next I securely tied the sluts hands in a cinch wrap then harnessed his hands behind his head. Once I had him tied securely I made him sit at My feet while I readied My needles to pierce his flesh. The harness put just enough strain on his pectorals that the muscles raised up, giving Me prefect areas of exposed flesh. I then placed the evil black nipple clamps on his nipples, smiling as he hissed in pain. I knew he was thinking this was the worst of it but when I put on the blindfold I saw a moment of worry pass over his face. That small worry became a very obvious fear when he smelled the alcohol an instant before the cold swiped over his skin. My little pain slut was trembling now because he knew what was coming. I slowly began to push the needles into his flesh, one by one. Waiting in between for his breath to slow so I knew each piercing was being felt as if it was the first one. When I lined his pectorals with needles I removed the blindfold and ordered the slut to look at Me. I wanted to watch the pain in his face as I slowly pulled each needle from his flesh. The boys discipline once again served him well, his eyes never left Mine as each needle slid free of it small fleshy encasement. I watched his pupils dilate as the endorphins charged through his system. When I had finished removing all the needles I replaced the blindfold and locked the slut in the kennel for about 45 minutes to come down from his endorphin high.

Once I let My little ass whore out of his cage I untied him and made him crawl into the bedroom and secured his arms, this time in front of him. I blindfolded him again and made him crawl up on the bed and offer Me his ass. I teased him a bit as I worked My hand into the new fisting glove. I lubed up the surface of the glove and began a relentless invasion of his ass. I spent the next twenty minutes working My hand as far up his ass as possible. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't succeed in fisting him completely, but it gives Me a goal for the future. I then took the slut's favorite toy, lovingly dubbed the manrammer and proceeded to fuck his ass throughly. I allowed the slut to stroke My cock while I was using him, which resulted in the expected mess. Certainly I made the slut beg to come, but he's served Me so well that day I allowed his release without too much begging.

Overall I think My boy had a good birthday and looks forward to his next opportunity to be used by Me. I must say I look forward to using him this weekend at the GWNN party in Austin. As I said 2007 is shaping up to be a good year.

Well it's been a super busy week for Me. I haven't had time for an update and I've heard the fan club is getting grumpy.
So My boy and I had Our first scene this past weekend in his new apartment. I had planned some interesting things for the new digs. When I arrived I was given the grand tour, it's a rather nice apartment, quite spacious. Now once I had settled in with a nice drink I had My boy arrange all the toys in the bedroom so I'd have quick access to them. I ordered the slut to strip and made him kneel and face the wall while I finished My drink.
Once I was ready I had My boy crawl nude thru his apartment to greet Me where I was sitting in front of his fire place. Once My feet had been throughly worshipped and his collar was locked in place We proceeded to the bathroom.
Now at My disposal was a rather nice garden tub so I decided a bit of water bondage would be a nice start. I made My boy sit in the tub where I tightly bound his wrists and ankles then tied them together. I also blindfolded the boy with several layers of scarlett vetwrap. Once I had the ring gag in place and his collar firmly anchored to the faucet  I turned on the water. Now after a bit of fiddling I got the right temperature, a shade warmer that frigid. I also made sure I had anchored his collar at the precise angle where the water that was coursing over his face from the shower would pour at a steady rate into his mouth. This did cause quite a bit of struggling and gagging at first, but eventually My boy learned his only choices were to swallow the water or to push it from his mouth using only his tongue, since the ring gag prevented his lips from closing. Now I went to make Myself another drink as I listened to the boy struggle under the pouring cold water. I noticed something useful, an ice maker. So naturally I took a great bowl of ice and dumped in the boys lap and watched as I forced him to hold his exact position, not dropping one cube, as it slowly melted. This change threw off his concentration and I once again left him struggling to breathe. After awhile I noted a slight bluish tint coming into the sluts hands and feet so I cut his bonds and made him dry off. He was then instructed to crawl to Me once again in the living room. Once the boy had stopped shivering I made him crawl behind Me into the bedroom.
He's such a clever little painslut He had rigged a four point strap system over the sheets so I'd have somewhere to tie him. I anchored him face down to the bed. His wrists were bound tightly and the beating began. I started with the rubber flogger, progressing quickly to the crop. I struck him from shoulders to ass and back up again. I then took out My new leather quirt and striped his back and ass a beautiful crimson. Next came the rattan cane working quickly in a up and down then down and up fashion I was just getting into a good rhythm when the slut informed Me he was not processing the pain as effectively as normal. I believe his words were, "Mistress please stop, I need to breathe." I quickly pointed out that this was not actully My problem, but his and continued with the cane strokes. I increased both tempo and force as I watched the boy fight to process the pain. Very shortly the boy got in control of himself and began to breathe with much less effort. I moved to the nylon cane, which I love the sound of. I whipped him with the thin cane until I could see the difference in welts between the rattan cane strokes and the nylon cane strokes. I then went and got some ice and rubbed his welts. His sighs of relief turned into a gasp of realization when the rubber flogger whistled a second before it lashed across his wet skin. I adore the way that rubber flogger lashes and sticks when skin is wet. I am told it's deliciously agonising. Once I had flogged him til no water remained on either the flogger or his skin, I turned to the aluminum cane. I iced it throughly before using it to cane the boy soundly. At that point I realised all this work has caused Me to become quite parched. So I untied the slut and told him to crawl off the bed and into the livingroom where I could enjoy the nice breeze from the fan. I allowed the slut to curl at My feet while I cooled off. After a bit of a rest I had My boy prepare a covering for the floor as My next endeavor could get a bit messy.
I tied the boy on his back binding his forearms beneath his chin. I then applied the nipple sticks and tightened them down until his nipples were quite plum colored. I then gave the sticks a good flick to make the little whore yelp, I so like that sound. I then lubed one of My toys and proceeded to fuck his ass, making him beg for Me to increase both the speed and thrusts of My rubber cock. Once I had him panting and bucking like a little ass-whore I moved to a bigger toy. This resulted in more begging and pleading from My boy, but this time to go slow. So naturally I fucked him hard and fast. I stroked his cock while I fucked him hard, in no time he was begging to cum, certainly he was denied. I forced the boy to beg to cum three more times before I began to truly pound his ass with My rubber cock then I granted My whore premission to cum when he wailed for Me. He exploded all over himself. I removed the nipple sticks after he had begged profusely to be allowed to remove them himself because it "hurt less when he did it." So it's obvious I jerked them off without loosening them fully, causing the slut to scream thru his teeth. I quickly untied the boy and forced him to crawl into the large dog kennel I had asked him to set up before I arrived.
I locked him inside and watched as he floated off in a cloud of sub space. I allowed the slut-puppy a little over a half hour in the kennel before I made him whine to be let out. I then had him clean up the area and naturally thank Me profusely for using him.
It was another satisfying scene, I must say I see alot of kinkable potential in his new place. I am looking forward to using him hard again, in the very near future.

Friday's scene had a bit of a different flair. I elected to stray away from My normal percussive talents and move into more focused and harder to process pain mediums. After wrapping My boy from calf to mid thigh in saran wrap and layering duct tape atop that for stability, I used the new leather arm binders to secure his hands behind his back. After placing the hood over his head, I unceremoniously tipped him back onto the bed and watched in amusement as I forced him to wiggle worm like up to the top of the bed.

Next I began doing some pinching, which My boy has admitted he is unable to process. I worked from his nipples to this inner thighs and back again. Once I had left suitable red marks blotching various places I moved on the clothespins. I found some new clothespins with rubber grips, admittedly a bit larger than most, but quite effective. I placed clothespins on his nipples and around his scrotum and one directly on his frenulum. Adoring the crop, as I do, I could not resist slapping the clothespins a few times. This got some very audible gasping and wincing from My boy.

I am very fond of the metal nipple sticks My boy purchased sometime back and I had been considering fashioning a larger pair for other uses. I placed the nipple sticks on his nipples and tightened them down until he groaned. I then took two large knitting needles, aluminum, and wrapped a series of rubber bands around the end and placed them on either side of his cock and balls and proceeded to tighten then down until the entire area was a beautiful purple color. I then began to slap the area with progressively more force until My boy was writhing in agony and breathing quite laborously. I then removed the clothes pins and the sticks which recieved a rather well muffled scream from under the hood.

Once all the clothespins had been removed I decided to do some wheel work. I had discovered previously what areas garnered a ticklish response and what areas where painfully sensitive to it's prick and stick. I alternately worked these areas until My boy was shaking from the effort of processing both ticklish glee and excrutiating pricks of pin point pain. I purposely made it difficult to process either by moving swiftly from one to the other. In between some bouts of pleasure to pain transition I masturbated the slut to the point just before orgasm and naturally denied him release.

I decided to experiment with sounding next, as My boy had expressed and interest in trying it. As My boy had never had anything inserted into that particular orafice I elected to use a smooth tipped medical grade silicone tube rather than an actual metal sound. After building his tolerance to accept most of the entrie six inch tube I began to simulate penetrative sex. My boy responded by panting and bucking to this invasion like a true sensation whore. I encouraged his sluttiness even farther with a bit a verbal humiliation. Eventually I had My boy practically weeping in need to release. I made him beg for Me very prettily while I continued to invade his cock with the silicone probe. Once I felt he had reached a suitable level of desperation I uncuffed one arm and allowed him to spend himself for Me, proving what a true slut he was to beg for this after being violated in that fashion.

My boy reported that the sounding had increased the sensation of his orgasm quite a bit,making for an explosion of impressive proportions. I have to say I love having such a willing slut who isn't afraid to subject his body to My whims and tortures on any level.

Life is good.

I had My first training session with Lady V last evening, as She wishes to broaden her techniques for her sub-hubby. I took My boy with Me and decided to give her a basic idea of how a Domme run scene would progress. Lady V admitted to having not seen a Domme in a real life scene before.
Upon arrival I had My boy lay out the toys and wait for Lady V and I to have a nice chat. I then instructed My boy to prepare for Our scene. Once he was stripped and had his collar locked firmly in place I sent him to the corner so I could give Lady V an idea of My intent for the evening. I started with some sensation play. After some light feather teasing I did some open hand precussion work and moved to shaper stimuli. I worked some with the crop before moving into edge play. I worked My boy over with My knives and had him suitably excited and trembling very quickly. I continued with some more cropping, some time with the wheel and some nice pinches in certain tender places. I then had My boy get on all fours and I proceded to flog his back, starting out with a nice medium suede flogger. I allowed Lady V to get the feeling of a flogger in her hand and She did quite well. Though My boy admitted She was a bit light-handed. That boy is such a pain-slut. I'm sure once She gains some confidence in her ability She will hit much harder.
After Lady V took a few swings with the suede flogger I moved to a lovely rubber flogger made for My by a sexy subby I know. I love it! It's heavy and thuddy, but when swung with some force bites and stings, so says My boy.I can see alot of future fun with that toy. Thanks a bunch, k.
I gave Lady V a quick lesson in cropping and caning. I focused mostly on how to progress from a light sting of the crop to a heavier strike with the rattan. After some good pink welts formed I moved to the springier nylon cane. I pointed out how it was the hardest cane to control, but left the most prominent marks. I then gave My boy ten good ones with My newest love, the aluminum cane. My boy bought this for Me, I have had My eyes on it for months. It is just as I expected, light and solid with no give. It is an instrument of true sadism, leaving clear welts with the lightest of taps.
After a short break I decided to give Lady V a short lesson in the merits of orgasm deprivation. I had My boy put on quite a good stroke and deny show for Her. After a few denials I had to up the stimulation a bit. I put the penis attachment onto My H-wand  and used it to fuck My boys ass hard all the while making him stroke and beg for release. After two more denials I allowed the little slut to cum. Which he did in stellar fashion, moaning and panting like the slutty little boy he is.
I then had the boy kiss My feet and worship Me for a bit before sending him over to do the same for Lady V. I made sure She was pleased with his his humility and submissive nature. She was pleased and thanked Me for allowing her to witness Our scene.
I can see that Lady V had potential for being a good Domme, and I am looking forward to continuing Her training.

Today I've been doing alot of thinking about perspective. Everyone views every situation from their own individual point of view. This is part of every individual's personality. How something is said,  the context which in it was said, or even the medium it was said thru all add dimension to a person's perspective. Often I find My perspective to be from a complicated place. But I am confident that most Dominants find themselves looking from similar perspectives from time to time. Situations aren't always as black and white as certain people would like to believe. Often it's a Dominant's role to view a situation objectively and judge risk factors with a very delicate balance of reason and experience. As I often expect, My judgement on certain situations, is not well recieved. Such is life. When it is expected of You to lead, then the only option is to trust Your own instinct. Though having logic and reason behind a gut-feeling never hurts. Just a little introspection from where I sit.

I had another scene with My boy Friday night. I decided that I would take a deviation from My normal physically demanding scene techniques and work in a more emotional and mental medium. I blind folded the boy and had him lay face down on the bed. I did not tie him up, but I instructed him there would be consequence if he moved from My desired position. I began by slowly waking the nerves along his spin with some soft sensation play. I moved to a suede flogger to further awaken the nerves. Once I had a reasonable flush to his skin I moved to the crop. I delivered several sharp crop strikes to his back from his neck to his ass. I then began methodically working with the needle probe from My dissection kit. I slowly worked down his spine using just enough pressure and frequncy to awaken his pain processing. I then began to verbally get into his head and exploit some of his weaker habits. I coupled the steady and rhythmic pain with a verbal motivation that qued a physical and emotional release. I contuinued to take him beyond his pain and emotional crest and enabled him to go beyond his emotional and mental barriers. The scene was both powerful and cleansing. I feel that this type of combination of pain and emotional release was very productive. It reconnected My boy with what first showed him what I was capable of. It reaffirmed that his submission comes not from a place of physical domineering, but from a deep emotional tie and devotion to Me. Overall I was quite satisfied with the scene because of the level of emotion it released and the ease of which I attained his emotionally open state. Dominance has to come from within and often takes very little painful interaction to reveal it's true depth.
I am satisfied that things are progressing as they should. My painslut is coming into his slave nature beautifully.

Another excellent weekend spent with My boy.  I had loaned his service to Ms. Lotus for her FemDom party prep Thursday, and I understand She worked him hard. ( no pun intended)I had him arrive friday afternoon to help Me pack for the FemDom party Saturday night. I also was feeling rather edgy so My boy offered to give Me a pedicure. Now I have to applaud his efforts, with Ms Lotus' guidance he made some lovely sugar scrub and lotion. I did say his technique needed work and his painting skill was a bit clumsy, but I enjoyed the attenetion. I had the boy service Me with his mouth after, his technique is improving. Though I have to admit sometimes he gets a bit too enthusiastic. But a well placed push of the foot make him back off.
Saturday We spent doing a bit of shopping and relaxing before the FemDom party at Ms Lotus'. The party was awesome, met some other nice FemDoms. I had fun playing there. I actually took the time to tie up My boy and lock him in the closet under the stairs there for about an hour. Ms Lotus asked Me if I would tie up this gorgeous little crossdressing boy for a spanking demonstration. I think I'm in lust. I have to admit a weakness for boy-girls. I would love to do very bad things to her (him).
I allowed My boy some time to catch a breath  I then tied him up in the main room of the party and did a bit of sensory play and was about to move into some electricity play when Ms Lotus discovered that some bad boy had left the seat up, fingers were pointed to Mine. Now, I don't believe it was My boy that did this. But I was proud of the way he did not gainsay the Mistress of the house and accepted the punishment. Ms Lotus took a crop to My boys cock and made an example of him for any other boy that might forget his manners. After a bit of breath because Ms Lotus is quite the heavy hitter I attached My boys cock to the E-stim and let him pant while I used My canes and floggers on various areas of skin. I then had My boy flip on all fours and caned his ass until it welted purple and red. I then untied him and had him worship My feet.
I saw some great spanking, fisting and flogging at the party and had some very interesting conversation with some gorgeous, yet knowledgeable Dommes. After going home from the pary I had My boy use his mouth on Me again and allowed him to cum on the skin of My thigh, a reward for his behavior at the party. I was pleased that My boy showed his slave nature in a very understated way. Ms Lotus was much impressed when I informed her it was not My boy who had transgressed, but he had taken the punishment with not a word of protest. A true slave nature can be a beautiful thing.
Sunday night I had girl A join My boy and I for a light session in sensory overload. I had girl A naked and allowed My boy to massage her to relax her as she if very new to the scene. I them used rabbit fur, feathers and a small rubber flogger to wake up her responses. I used My fingers and My crystal probe to bring her to two explosive orgasms, it seems she's a rare find, a squirter. As I am a voyeur I have to admire the very visual way she cums. I then got her on all fours and used one of My favorite dildo's to fuck her ass while she vigorously fingered herself. I must say she makes the most delicious noises. The orgasm from the anal fucking was so explosive it was almost obscene. I then gave her a bare handed spanking as she fingered herself again. I allowed My boy to fuck her with a toy while she rubbed her clit and I spanked her ass. When she came again all over My slut boys hand his eyes were gleaming. I of course did not allow My boy any release.This was girl A's scene he was only there to play photographer.
I let girl A catch her breath and then had My boy set up the E-stim and she was treated to some electricity play and an adequate tongue lashing from My boy. At one point My boy allowed the probe to slip from her and she got a bit of a shock. So I removed the E-stim from the play area and ordered My boy to lick her to an orgasm to make amends for her pain. I stroked My boy for a bit while he serviced her but then I decided he needed the cane to motivate him. I caned his ass while he kept his face buried between girl A's legs. Apparantly he's much more enthusiastic and skilled at oral when his ass is being caned, somehow I am not surprised. After she had another orgasm I requested that My boy clean up the area and We chatted before sending girl A on her way home. My boy begged for release later, but I denied him. This night was not about his pleasure, it was about girl A. I have invited girl A back for a private session this week, to delve more into the D/s experience.
Overall a very enjoyable weekend.

My boy came up again this weekend. I was amused at his reasoning, I have a walk-in closet, and he wanted to organise it "in case" I ever decided to lock anyone inside it.
So after he spent the better part of two days cleaning the closet and doing various other tasks about My house I decided it was time for a little reward.
I tied the slut to the bed, blindfolded and gagged and went for a nice leisurely bubble bath. After about a good 45 minute soak I did a little net surfing and slowly started working over the captive boy. I clamped his nipples and the head of his cock with the new clamps that came with the dissection kit he just purchased for Me. I then got out My rattan cane and worked on his thighs, his cock and his clamped nipples. I then did some sensation play with some of the sharp pointy things in My dissection kit. I must admit the boy controlled his breathing much better than usual and kept the sound to a minimum even while wearing the ring gag. I did a good amount of caning then I took the clamp off his cock and started stroking it hard. I love the way he moans when he knows there's no way I'm going to allow him to cum this easily. I had him begging around the gag in no time. Certainly I denied him, twice. I decided it was time for a little game. I informed My little pain whore that I was going to stroke him and everytime he begged I'd untie one knot in his bonds. This made for an amusing time, watching him fight the tide of orgasm knowing the cane was only inches away. It took 7 more denials to get the knots all undone. I then informed My slut it was time to service his Mistress. I allowed the boy to apply lotion liberally to My feet and legs all the while teasing his pulsing cock with My toes. I then allowed the slut to worship My feet and legs with his mouth. Then I teased the sluts cock with My feet alternately stroking and squeezing him. I ordered the boy to masturbate for Me and allowed him to cum on My feet and up My leg. Seems he was a little pent up. I had cum up to My inner thigh. I then made the boy lick up his mess, of course. I then gave him the honor of using his slutty doggie tongue to lick Me to two wet orgasms, his technique is improving. After a breather I decided to reward the boy for his efforts around the house by putting in a butt plug, blindfolding him,wrapping his cock and balls tightly in vet wrap,tying an arm harness, putting My panties in his mouth and vet wrapping over them, and locking him in the closet for an hour.
My boy thanked Me profusely for using him and reaffirmed that he is growing in his slavery and devotion to Me. Overall I'd say it as a good weekend.
If anyone would like to see some photos of Our scenes, I'd be happy to share on an exchange basis. I admit to being a bit of a voyeur.

I have deliverd punishment for his disobedience. I elected to use a combination of aversion therapy, degredation and pain. I am confident it was effective. After some thought I have decided that I will go through a series of retraining scenes since I feel the need to reestablish My desires in a more regimented fashion.
My boy spent three days here with Me, serving as a house boy. I gave him a number of tasks to be completed while awaiting his punishment. Once the punishment was delivered I immediately saw a renewal of motivation in him.
I also decided I needed some pleasurable release during his visit and used him throughly. I am still enamored with My feeldoe, the fact that I can have an orgasm from have it sucked is rather powerful in both the physical and mental aspects.
I am actively seeking to add a female slave to My poly circle. I am also hoping to have a greater opportunity to train those who feel the need for a greater BDSM experience. I am becoming discouraged by the number of insincere individuals that contact Me for training then never come thru. I wonder if it is cowardice or ignorace that prevents them from taking the last step?
As a primarily Dominant female I must remind those Dominants that contact Me that I can assure You that an overpowereing tactic is useless. I will not respond to those that announce their ignorance by attempting to "bring Me to heel." I find a great amusement in those that seem to believe because I switch that means I am seeking to be enslaved. I will not give up My Dominant status for anyone, period.
I am actively seeking friends in My immediate area as well, I would love to be able to have face to face BDSM discussions with knowledgable individuals on a regular basis.

 I admit to being an exacting Mistress, I do not however expect perfection 100% of the time.  I have never issued a rule or  limited an action I did not feel was possible or realistic. So when My boy admitted to not only bending, but breaking one of My rules on numerous occasions I was very disappointed. I have had very little issue with My boy in Our relationship, he is normally very obedient and trustworthy.  I cannot however overlook his disregard of My rules, and since he repeatedly broke the rule, I must assume it was willful disobedience. I have discussed this with My boy and he claims it was more a compulsion than an actual willful disregard, unfortunately I do not subscribe to that type of thinking. Now I am faced with deciding upon a suitable punishment. I would welcome any suggestions from other Dominants that have had similar situations. 

It's Hump Day! My boy came up for another scene today. We decided to deviate from the norm and do a little experimenting. My boy had expressed a desire to be pushed beyond what he believed he could take. So today I elected to see how sincere his desire was. After Our customary greeting I placed My painslut in a modified hog-tie. I had him lay face down on the bed and secured his wrists at the small of his back, while using another rope to draw his feet up and secure them to his wrists. I used the rope around his waist to add some anchor points to his upper arms so he was virtually immobil. I then began with some brief feather play moving quickly into light flogging. I then moved to some heavier flogging with My favorite red suede flogger. After getting a nice dark pink color on the sluts back I flogged the bottoms of his feet a bit. I used the crop next on both his back and the soles of his feet. By this time the slut was moaning softly and panting from the blows. Next came the heavier flogger which I applied with great vigor, I love the sound of leather on flesh. I had now achieved a shade between red and purple on his back. I took the hated nylon cane from the toy box and made sure the boy saw it. I then began to methodically alternate long stroke up and down his back with short stroke across the soles of his feet. I was moved by the cries coming from the slut so I caned even faster. I quickly heard him call yellow, followed shortly by red. The strokes did no cease nor did I even pause in My rhythm. The boy cried and begged for Me to stop but I reminded him crying was cathartic and he wanted to be pushed. When every stoke of the cane was elicting a verbal entreaty I backed off a bit to let the boy breathe a moment. I them informed him We were not done, He would take 10 more full cane strokes across the back and count them for Me. I proceeded to lay marks across his skin. He screamed for Me as he knew it was what I wished to hear. When he is being caned hard My boy says the most endearing things, like he'd do anything for Me. I then loosened the ropes and stroked his hair while he finished sobbing, telling him what a good boy he was for taking all those strokes for Me.
After a short breather I decided to allow the boy a little pleasure, he certainly deserved it. I put the boy in his beloved bondage mitts and had him lie across the bed on his back, I experimented with breath play as I stroked his cock and made him repeatedly beg for release. I denied him several times, I must admit having him beg so desperately is very enthralling. I then ordered the slut to finish himself off, which proved a bit difficult with the bondage mitts on his hands. But the ever resourceful little whore manage to stroke his cock til it spewed all over his stomach.After another short breather I decided to give My newest toy a try.
My boy bought Me a Feeldoe stout. I had heard it was possible for a woman to have an orgasm by having someone suck the cock end to the Feeldoe. I inserted the pony end into Myself and made sure the ridged saddle had good contact with My clit. I must admit to liking the visual of the shiny black cock protruding from between My labia. I then adjusted the harness and turned on the vibe. I sat in  My favorite chair and ordered My slutboy to suck My new cock. He did so with such enthusiasm that with a little pelvic thrusting I was able to get off twice. I really think I could get addicted to that. I needed a bit of a break, but the boy was begging to see what the cock end of the Feeldoe felt like up his ass. So I allowed the boy to fuck himself with the Feeldoe and stroke his cock while I watched. There's something erotic about watching a man in the throes of pleasure and knowing with a word you could control his every move, his every response. It's a powerful moment when You can sit and watch someone in deep sexual pleasure and know that You alone control the outcome, without exerting any physical restraint at all. My little anal whore begged to come again and I was so pleased with his abandonment I allowed it. I have a wonderful photo of his face contorted by the strength of the double stimulation. Once again I am throughly spent and pleased with My boy. He continues to grow in his slavery in the most appealing ways.

Well this has been an interesting week and frankly I'm exhausted. Cross left today to return to Iraq for another 6 months. I wish I could say I get used to Him leaving, I never do. These last two weeks I've gotten in a few good scenes with Him, it felt good to not be in charge for a change. I've enjoyed getting reacquainted with what it feels like to be on the other side of the crop, so to speak.

This past Wednesday My boy came down for his weekly scene. Things were a little different for Me because Cross was there observing, it was  a bit of a reality check when  I realized anything I chose to do could be changed at Cross' whim instead of Mine. I've been working independantly for the last six months so it was rather grounding to be reminded just where My place is exactly on the house totem pole. My boy had some correction coming to him this week,he'd forgotten his tribute once and almost neglected an assignment. There was also a miscommunication issue involving his free time with girl A. The boy needed a reminder of just who was in control. I tied the boy bent at the waist and secured his feet at shoulder width apart with a spreader bar. I had to continually remind the slut to keep his legs straight, We need to work on his discipline in that arena. After 60 cane strokes to his ass and thighs I recieved an apology worthy of My status. I am certain the slut won't be so careless again.
After the correction I decided to do a little sensory play. So I tied the slut securely in a harness and anchored his arms at the small of his back. I then further immobolised him by anchoring his lower half to the bondage chair.
I started softly with a feather tickler then moved to a rubber flogger and some cropping. I brought the intensity of the cropping up slowly til I had the little whore panting for the next stroke. Then I moved into some pain play using the wheel on his freshly cropped areas. Then I raised the stakes with some intense edge play, focusing on the neck, nipple and back. I then informed the boy he was going to bleed for Me today. I so love seeing his breathing hitch and his legs tremble when I mention blood. I left him to comtemplate the possiblities for awhile. I returned to begin the edge play again,making sure he was very aware that at any moment I could cut him anywhere I pleased. I chose to cut a "S" into the flesh of his upper left arm. He took it remarkably well. As the blood welled in the cut I could not resist squeezing the incision so the blood came faster and the endorphins rushed harder. I watched as his breathing threaded out and his color rose as the endorphins coursed through his veins. It's such a rush to watch someone respond to being cut, the total raw sexuality involved in the pentration of flesh is fantasitic. I moved to some cock whipping after than using both My crop and My new rubber tipped flogger on his cock until I had him shaking. After I untied My slut and let him come down a bit he informed Me he loved the cutting and couldn't wait to do more. I expected My little sensation whore would feel this exact way, he's such a good boy.
After a breather I decided to break in My new E-stim unit on My slut. This one it much more versatile than the one I had before, it allows for more attachments to be used at the same time and it has varible wave settings. I also have gotten two new attachments to use with it a glove and a silicone probe. I elected to introduce the slut to the probe's relentless sensation first. So I had the boy kneel on the bed and I inserted the probe into his anus, his anal training has paid off, it slipped in with minimal effort. After adjusting the probes intensity and speed I let the boy pant through the sensations a bit before I allowed him to stroke My (his) cock while the probe was pulsing inside him. The slut panted and moaned like a whore and begged for more electricity to be sent through the probe inside his ass. I ramped up the machine and watch him writhe in pleasure and beg frantically to be allowed his release. I allowed him to cum, taking into consideration the relentless nature of the probe and his unfamiliarity with this type of stimulation. The little slut wailed and growled his way through an orgasm that left him a breathless quaking mass. I was rather pleased with the result, I had hoped the probe would prove as undeniable as I am. Cross was very impressed with the scene and complimented Me on My techniques.
Overall I am very happy with these last few weeks proceedings, but I am also sad that once again I am on My own for another six months. I am grateful I have My boy to rely on when I need him, he's has become such an integral part of My life.
Poly may not be for everyone, but I love the way I have chosen to live My life and I would not change it for anyone.

Had another interesting scene Friday. It's been a busy weekend so it took awhile to update. Cross is home on leave! So I couldn't be happier that He's here with Me. Gonna be a good opportunity to get in some bottoming time. Cross was here for friday's scene and while mostly  He acted as an observer He did get in a little play time. My boy brought a friend to this scene, girl A (as I will call her) is a total newbie to the lifestyle. She was curious to see how a scene played out and witness a D/s dynamic first hand. So girl A and I negotiated some minor playtime situations to give her a taste of BDSM. I began by tying My boy to the bondage chair and blindfolding the little slut. I also secured him in an arm binder. Then I added a CBT tie and began some sensation play. I moved quickly into the pain realm, applying My crop liberally to all the tender spots. I am still quite impressed with My boys whorish desire to have his cock whipped. I can administer quite a good cropping to his cock.. I alternated pain and pleasure for awhile and then decided to raise the stakes a bit. Out came My favorite knife and Cross assisted Me in reminding the boy of certain anatomical risks inherent in knife play. The slut was panting and trembling in no time at all. I then began to do some orgasm deprivation play, but with a twist. I made My boy beg girl A for release rather than Me, when she granted it, after two denials, I had to deny him further. I know girl A didn't realise that this was a humiliation situation so I had to take it a step further to make My point. When the little slut was granted release it came in his typical fashion loud and fast. I had to chuckle when I noticed the big smile on girl A's face when the slut had to lick his mess up. I believe I saw a budding Top in there somewhere. While I was torturing My boy, Cross took the opportunity to tease girl A a bit, doing some light sensation play and getting her worked up for her next task.  I allowed My slut to tie a breast harness on girl A and placed her on the bed, where boy and I experimented in some sensation play and some light flogging. I told My boy to prove his oral skills to girl A, since he had been bragging about them all week. I have to say the little whore didn't do well. I wasn't at all suprised girl A was able to hold off her orgasm with a minimal amount of obvious effort. As I had made her satisfaction a requirement of his service I was quite disappointed in his inability to motivate her. As a punishment was required of such a failure I allowed girl A to choose the method in which he would be punished, this will be carried out Our next scene. I then tied My slut in another arm binder and placed the tens unit on his cock and let girl A tease him. As he had been allowed access to her it was only fair I turn the tables. I must say girl A has a knack for teasing she has My boy writhing in no time at all. I made the boy present his ass to My and I continued with his anal training. Once again I saw a glimmer of Top interest in girl A's eyes. I worked My boy up til he was fairly panting for release, then suddenly stopped and order him to dress. I was finished with him for the day. It's always a good idea to leave sluts like him unsatisfied to remind them who controls their pleasure. When asked girl A admitted she had a greater interest in the Top side of play and requested to come back alone for some further experience. I naturally agreed, since I love playing with girls as much as with boys. I also reminded girl A it's her responsiblity to decide upon the sluts punishment and perhaps the administration of it in the near future. Overall I'd say while it was not a typical scene, it was still a good one. Cross admitted to being impressed with My boys discipline and self-control. It always strokes My ego to hear My slut is well-trained, especially coming from My Dom.

Well this was probably the best Monday I've had in awhile. My boy came up for a scene this morning. We had a quick chat before getting down to business. I had the boy kneel in the corner while I got things organised. Once he had greeted Me in his customary way, I had him rest his head on the floor for a bit. There's something alluring about a naked man on his kness with his forehead pressed to the floor, it moves Me.Sometimes it's nice to remind him of his place, makes him much more receptive. Then I tied him securely to the bondage chair and decided to push his pain tolerances for a bit. I started out with some cropping on the insides of his thighs. Naturally I couldn't ignore the boys ripe nipples pratically begging to be tortured, so I added the nipple sticks and made sure they pressed them torturously. Then I continued with My crop alternating between his thighs and his nipples. I love the way he yelps when the crop connects hard with the nipple stick. I worked over his nipples well, getting a full turn on the sticks before letting them go and watching his face contort in pain. It's not the twisting that hurts, it's when they spin back into place they burn. Next I pulled out My favorite blade and decided to test the delicacy of the little pain sluts skin. I love the way he breathes so evenly when the knife touches him, he loves the sensation and inherent danger. I don't own any dull blades. I had to warn him once to be still because he flinched when I took a particulary vicious poke at his scrotum. I actually wonder for a moment if I had cut him, but no blood rose to surface. A pity really I know he longs to bleed for Me. Then I took out My biggest dildo and gave the boy a cock sucking lesson. I fucked his mouth until he was panting like a whore.Next I decided to do a little cock whipping, so I took out My mean little rubber flogger and began to stripe his cock. I was amazed when the pain whore actually spread his legs to give Me a better target. Masochists are a  commodity these days. I flogged his cock to a wonderful bright pink shade then took My crop in hand once again. I then started using the tip end of the crop to slap across the head of his cock. I was very satisfied by the leather on flesh sounds and the flinching and moaning of My boy. I must say he has a beautiful whimper. After I cropped his cock until he yelped for Me, I then decided to tease him awhile. I started stroking his cock and I could actually feel the hear emanating from it due to the beating I had given. I denied the boy orgasm of course, he hadn't earned the right yet. I cropped him a bit more, this time holding his cock in My hand while the crop wailed the tip.That made for some wonderful shocked gasps and whimpers of pain. I then began stroking his cock again, telling him I'd make him a deal. I would allow him to orgasm, but not on Me. Should he choose to orgasm it was with the understanding that when he did I was going to direct the cum onto the floor where he would be later expected to lick it up after I had untied him. I wasn't exactly sure if he'd go thru with this, but I must have underestimated his need. Soon enough the slut was begging to cum for Me, which I did allow. I had to chuckle when the cum shot a good two feet from his cock and landed on the floor in a puddle. I teased the boy a bit more then removed the nipple sticks which always elict a real growl of pain from the boy. I quickly untied him, removed the blindfold and directed him to his mess. As I expected he hesistated briefly but then licked up the cum like the good slave whore I knew he was. After a bathroom break and breather I decided to do a little electrical play. I got the boy secured in his custom made spandex mummy bag and laid him out on the bed. I attached the new 4 by 6 butterfly electrode to the surface of his cock and two more square electrodes to either side of his scrotum. I left the boy to think about his predicament while I made a few calls. When I returned I amped up the tens and watched the boy pant and squirm. I periodically tweaked the strength, speed and duration of the electrical pulses until I got what I felt was a worthy response. I teased the boys cock off and on while I let the electricity work it's magic. Eventually I removed the electrode from his cock and turned up the pulses on the one on his scotum until he cried out. I stoked and teased the boy, making him beg for release. I worked him up and left him waiting twice before finally allowing him to cum all over himself. The noises that boy makes when he cums, are so delicious. It's a true mixture of pleasure and pain every time. I let the slut come down a bit them got him out of  the mummy bag and allowed him to get cleaned up. Then We went out to lunch and discussed the scene as is Out custom. I am very pleased with My boy and I feel he is making his transition from sub to slave very nicely. I am already planning the next pain-trip. 

Well it's been a busy couple of weeks. But wolfie and I finally had time for a new scene today. Punishment was given first this time,20 canes stroke to the calves for getting sassy with Me this week. We started out with a little predicament bondage.  After doing a standard cbt tie and anchoring it at the back of his waist, litterally pulling  his genitals down and back, I applied My new duck bill nipple clamps with chain. I love the way they bite, and to quote My slut "those things are mean." I then had him bend at the waist and tied a weight to the nipple chain. I had him hold the weight in his mouth and tied his arms to the stool to keep him bent and struggling. I gave the boy a choice I said when the weight got too heavy he just needed to drop it, thereby jerking the nipple clamps off. But if he chose not to have that excrusiating thing happen then he could take one stroke for every minute left in the time limit. I started the clock at 50 minutes. The boy lasted 23, the muscle failure was imminent, as I had planned. So after removing most of the bondage the boy took 33 cane strokes across his ass. He recieved a 5 stroke penalty for a bit of levity in the scene. Then we moved onto some anal training. I tied the slut spread eagle upon the bed and into a usable postion. Then I attached the tens to his genitals, dialing it up until I recieved a verbal indication he was "feeling" it. Then  I began working My way thru My collection of anal toys, from smallest on up. Unfortunately this had to be cut short due to a miscalculation in positioning. Quickly enough I untied the lil slut and put him on his hands and knees. This time I used more electrode pads on the tens and dialed it even higher. Then I got out the crop and decorated his ass with marks, until it practically glowed. Next I used his ass well with a dildo. I am a real fan of hard fucking, when it comes to anal play. When I got Myself worked up to a suitable Top space, took the toy away, removed the tens and made the boy flip over on his back. I felt like watching for a bit, so I made him stroke his cock with his hands still bound together. I like making the boys work for their orgasm. Having his hands tied like that made it both humiliating and difficult. But like any good lil whore in no time he was begging to cum for Me. I allowed his release, and I had to smile when the boy came so hard it shot over his head and hit the wall behind him. I made him sit up  and untied him. Overall this scene was pretty gratifying. I still appreciate the sluts efforts to please Me. I have another scene planned for Monday and I'm already coming up with devious ways to use My boy. Life is good.

Well I have had another satisfying scene with wolfie. He's progressing nicely. We've established Our own ritualistic habits for scene prep, which I find comforting. I've ordered him a collar, very soon I will lock it around his neck and claim him as Mine. This scene was a bit time constrained, but life sometimes intrudes. I first did some edge play before bed, and a little bondage of course. That boy is such a little bondage slut, just running a rope along his skin causes an instant "perk." In the morning I decided to do a little predicament bondage and a little pain motivation at the same time. So after lashing his cock and balls to the wall and running a counter tension rope to his hands tied behind his back, I placed a wooden dowel on the floor behind his heels. The purpose for that was that if the dowel shifted then the rope attached to his genitals would shorten. I then liberally applied the cane to his butt and upper thighs. I didn't warm him up or warn him either. Since He was blindfolded the first kiss of the cane got a wonderful shocked gasp. Apparantly the stimuli became a bit much and I had to release the boy due to lightheadedness. I must applaud his self-disciple. While his respnse to the cane was vocal and the stripes visible, the dowel did not move. After a break to catch his breath I elected to do some more anal training on My slut. So I tied him nice and tightly on his back splayed like a good little whore. Then I proceeded to use My favorite toy on Him. He was vocal and so vulnerable looking being used that way. He begs so sweetly even when gagged. The little slut even surprised Me, begging to have a dildo in his mouth while I used Him. He was such a good little whore and begged to cum. After some serious use, I allowed his release. He's so apprecaiative when He has to work for it. After a short break for some water and a little wash up. I felt the need to use My knife on the slut, only slightly motivated by his begging to feel it. I traced My blade across all his tender flesh and promised Him that soon he would need to bleed for Me again. I decided I needed a little release of  My own, so I put the boys tongue to use. I must say He services Me rather well. After two leisurely orgasms with My hands crushing the boy's head between My thighs, I allowed him another release for being so pleasing. This time He was allowed to spill on the flesh of My inner thigh, only the second time I've ever allowed it to touch My skin. I certainly made the little whore lick up his mess when He was done. He thanked Me profusely for the day then We went to lunch as is Our habit.  I must say the boy is much more pleasing that I expected and I forsee many new things in Our future. Now I have to go and order a special bondage chair to enhance My collection. I am beside Myself over the possibilites this will add to My scenes.

 The scene was phenominal! Everything worked well, somethings even went beyond what I expected. We did another predicament bondage, I'm getting better at planning those, I must say. We tried out a new toy, that went so excellently I was fairly panting at the end. I also did some needle play, but decided to save the actual piercing til anothe scene. I love building his anticipation. Last night We had a few issues about his personal life and the way he needed to deal with it. But as usual We worked it out. I'm not going to go into too much detail here as I respect his privacy. We're seeing each other next week and I'm already counting the days and planning the next torture. Cross is very pleased about wolfie and asks to see the pics I take of the scenes. I can't tell anyone how good it feels to have that kind of freedom and acceptance and still have His love and the security it gives Me.

So last night was not a good night. Apparantly alot was accomplised by some. I'm told this is a positive thing. I can't really say if things got better or not. I only have a very limited perspective of the entire complex situation. The problem I have now is I have to reasses My position in this situation. There's some facets of the overall compromise that's being made I can understand, others I cannot. My biggest issue right now is deciding what course to take in the immediate future, regardless of the long term outcome. So now I have a long night of rationalising and soul searching and probably some serious talking to do. But I'm sure I'll get things in the proper order..eventually.

I am always amazed at the sheer satisfaction I get from the sound of breaking glass. Tonight wolfie informed Me that things could possibly be ending for Us. I am thankful this is thru no fault of My own, nor his for that matter. As in life often happens, certain choices arise and one is forced to choose between the two. Unfortunately I find Myself in the position of the  greater of two evils. I can understand that the need for a normal healthy love relationship supercedes any D/s desires. But I cannot say I am not resentful or hurt by this turn of events. I have developed an attachment to wolfie and I don't like facing the possibility of not furthering that. All I can do now is wait, because either the woman he loves will  accept Me and what I am to him, or she will not. I despise waiting. It's like offering a cigarette before a firing squad, it only prolongs the inevitable. This is one of those instances where I am hopeful that things will work out favorably for all of Us, but I have this feeling that things will not.

Well this week started off badly. I had a great morning planned abusing wolfie, I mean scening. Then about 4 am, disaster strikes! The horror of these 5 little words. "Mom, I don't feel good."So after about 3 hours this morning with a puking kid I was so bummed I was touchy to everyone. To top it all off, I had to have a long heart to heart with wolfie, He's got issues with scheduling problems. Rightly so, He's been f*cked over repeatedly. I won't say I wasn't a bit annoyed having to defend Myself, but I understood why He's feeling this way. But in the end everything got smoothed out, he's coming up tomorrow night and we're scening Wed. I promise to try not think of annoying instances with a crop in My hand.
Now on to other things, I still have not found a Dom to play with in hubby's absense, I'm beginning to think I may quit looking. I have so many preconcieved perferences, pet-peeves and deal-breakers, I think it may be an unrealistic search.But I think I may keep looking for awhile since I've joined some local groups and can get to meet "face to face" real Doms.So here's hoping!

~S~

This year's off to stellar start! But then again, I am being sarcastic. I've spent the last week trying to get over a horrid case of bronchitis. I'm starting to feel semi-human again. I've gotten alot of interesting responses to My new profile. Though I can't say any have spawned anything other than brief interesting exchanges. I'm still looking for a person who can balance being a friend and something more if the opportunity arises. I'd like to see more responses from females, I haven't had any yet. I'd also like to chat with a DaddyDom in TX, since that's something I think I might want to explore in the future. I have met one really awesome sub here, we've met and had a spectacular time. Thanks, Clint, I look forward to many more adventures with you. Well onward 2006!