FellowTraveler

Okay this is a disturbing observation that I just have to share. Over the years I have notice the large differences between male and female D-types. Each with their own strengths and weaknesses and recently I was privy to the I'm-a-Big-Bad-Dom until someone doesn't do what I want and then I throw a tantrum that will put a two-year old to shame. Wow, this was disconcerting. The whole reason I am seeking out a dominate is to escape the Peter Pan complex running rampant in males of the X-generation. I want a manly man that knows how to fix shit and can pick me up and toss me onto a bed amongst other things. Not someone who starts slinging names like a high school drama queen at you when you quickly email him to let him know it would be several weeks before you could get away to fly up north to see him. I wasn't even turning down his offer just letting him know it would take awhile. I get it, this is really hard. The toughest part of play is finding the right partner. And during that time we are going to meet plenty of people who are just not right for us. That is how all relationships work. It doesn't mean you are undesirable or unworthy. We ALL get rejected. But seriously, don't act like a baby when it happens. Be graceful and domlie so she can see the awesomeness of what she is missing.

After suffering a bout of HIAB/SIAB (Heard It All Before/Said It All Before) I figured I would come up with my own Frequently Asked Question sheet so if you are curious.

Here you go:

What is a nice girl like you doing on a site like this? I suppose this is the what-are-you-looking-for question. Ideally I am looking for a man in his mid-thirties to forties who is attractive, height weight proportionate, moderately successful in his personal life and lives in or near Los Angeles. I am looking for someone who is open to a LTR. I am not some big eyed newbie looking to feel the sting of a whip for the first time. And while I have been in the scene for MANY years, I have tried my hand at dating vanillas, but have come to the realization that I need someone in the lifestyle to be sexually fulfilled.

What kinks are you into? Look at my checklist, I filled it out.

What gets you off? This will sound clich?ut feeling safe with someone. It?s the only way I ?get off? is to truly be able to let go and this is where submission begins. So I need to know A) You legitimately care about me and my wellbeing. B) You know what you are doing. C) After a hard scene there will be proper aftercare.

What fantasy are you dying to do? That stuff I save for when I actually know you.

How long have you been in the lifestyle? Seven years

Do you play publically? Yes, I have and could do again thought this is not a deal breaker. I have played at Lair, Threshold and the old Passive Arts Studio before the fire.

Do you have friends in the scene? Yes, lots. I use to go to a lot of munches and demos so it was easy to meet people with similar interest.

How did you get into this? I always knew I wasn?t vanilla long before I ever stumbled into the world of bdsm. I always wanted to explore my sexual side, but I started really playing with a long term boyfriend after reading some fiction like The Story of O and ordering a bunch of How to Be Kinky books online. I knew I loved ropes, partial suspensions and sensory deprivation from the start and they are still my favorite. After my ex and I broke up I found my way online to sites like Alt and Collar Me, then found my way into Munches and dungeons. Speaking of dungeons, I?ll be honest; there is nothing hotter to me than seeing a collared slave sitting curled up on her Dom?s lap after a brutal scene.

What are you like in your vanilla life: I?m on OKC too. This is bits and pieces from my profile there. Life is good. I have a cute little house, great friends, a loving family and plenty of interesting hobbies, but even the best things in life are better when you have someone to share them with.

So I am looking for my zombie killing partner for the impending apocalypse. Okay fine, my new best friend, the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly. You get my drift.

-Favorite books: Gone With the Wind, The Unbearable Lightless of Being, The Razor's Edge, The Outlander Series, The Rules of Attraction, White Noise, Indignation, Game of Thrones, A Long Way Down and East of Eden. I also love anything by David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell. -As for TV: Stewart and Colbert. HBO, AMC, FX and DIY channel. -Movies: Harold and Maude, The Indiana Jones Trilogy, The Shawshank Redemption, The Breakfast Club, Dead Poets Society, Pretty In Pink, any Wes Anderson movie and anything with Morgan Freeman in it. -Music: The Airborne Toxic Event, Death Cab for Cutie/Postal Service, Sea Wolf , Elliott Smith, Arcade Fire, Andrew Bird, Tallest Man on Earth, Classic Eighties New Wave -Podcasts: I love This American Life, 99% Invisible, Radio Lab, The Truth, and Freakenomics. I have actually been on a couple kinky pod casts. Episode 16 of the Love Bite and then the swingers episode of Intellectual Kink both free on iTunes.

Hobbies: -I am getting back into shape so right now I am walking and hiking. I do do Runyon ironically, okay that is a bad hipster joke but it has long stretches where my dog can be off leash and that makes the hassle of parking worth it. - I travel and I don?t mean Vegas. Last October I was choking on diesel generator fumes while sipping tea on the highest road in the world connecting India to Tibet through the Himalayas. - I dabble in Buddhism. Every now and then I get the urge to meditate and spend time with what I like to affectionately refer to as my hipster meditation group. Some old punk rockers started a Buddhist center; I enjoy it and it lead to such absurd encounters as meditation time with Moby. - I do some basic woodworking. The biggest thing I?ve built has been a table. - I play guitar but not well and a little piano though sadly my upright is a little out of tune.

It was a pair of silver wire frame aviators that quailed her, excited her, even made her wet with anticipation. A simple pair of sunglasses he would put on when they played. If he allowed her to beg, she would beg for a blindfold. That simple piece of fabric had the power to slow her overactive mind, to usher her past all distraction, and kept her firmly in the present moment. For her the inescapable darkness elicited a state of acute sensitivity to any touch or to the softest word he would speak. Yes, she longed for that sweet deprivation, but that is not what he offered her tonight. Instead he masked himself, his intention, his humanity under the cold reflective gaze of the shiny silver lenses.

Sitting in the cold dark room she strained to see through the glasses, to find his eyes somewhere past the hallow reflection of her bound body and gaged mouth. To feel a connection to him again, but the effort was fruitless. All she could see when she looked to him was herself.

The night started like many of them did, a simple text on what to wear and when to be ready. Once primped to his liking she would wait for him on a large cushion in the living room. Upon his arrival she would climb to her knees. Standing in front of her he gave her permission to undue his trouser pull out his cock and take him into her mouth. Sucking him fervently as he reached down and grabbed a fist full of her dark brown hair pulling and pushing her face down swallowing his cock inside her until he released, coming hard in the back of her throat. This was their ritual and she knew to only apply her lipstick afterwards.

Stepping away from her he placed a small box in front of her. She opened it to find a large stainless steel butt plug. She picked it up in her hand and felt the weight of it, the cold smooth exterior and admired the large clear crystal at the end. He took the plug from her hand and told her to open wide. He plunged the plug deep inside her mouth to the back of her throat. She coughed and tried hard not to gag but he was after the thick ropes of saliva that lay at the very back of someone's mouth. After methodically swirling the plug in and out he slowly extracting it and motioned to her to lift her skirt. She bent over and grabbed her ankles.

It had been months since she had worn pants or panties in his presence. They were considered a hindrance to him and were to be avoided. She tried her best to relax. She knew what was coming as his soft fingers probed her buttocks, he maneuvered the tip of the plug down into the depths of her sphincter. He played with her a bit fucking her hole with it, seeing her body gently respond to the stimulus. Watching her relax until he was sure he could negotiate the rest of the bulk inside her. Popping into place, the plug's faceted crystal as the only small exterior marker of its presence.

Their dinner out was typical, a small intimate restaurant with candle light and long linen table cloths. It was their custom for her to sit to his right. She had been trained to always sit with her knees apart another reminder of her submission to him body and mind. He gave her permission to speak freely once the wine was ordered. She then thanked him for the lovely present that she could feel lodged inside her. They spoke of the trivial everyday experiences that life brings and once in a while he would reach down to check that her legs were spread wide and pull up her skirt to feel her soft tender sex.

?Are you ready for what I am about to do to you,? he whispered in her ear. Her body trembling she replied, ?With all my body and soul Sir.? With that he took her by the hand and lead her to his car. Once onto the dark stretch of the PCH he took her by the hair and brought her head down into his lap. She hastily unzipped him, sucking on his flaccid cock until it grew long and hard in her mouth. She would suck and slow following the instruction of his hand clutched firmly around her neck. When he finally pulled her from him he had already put the car into park. They were at his place.

That dark living room was clean and well-appointed but this time the room was cleared and in the center sat the chair she had made for him.

?Build something where I can have complete access to you.? was his simple instructions. She had meticulously designed prototypes and then crafted the dubiously simple chair. A ?V? shaped seat propped on legs with gynecological stir ups jetting from the sides of them and topped off by heavy leather restraints around the ankles, the behind the chair for the wrists and on the head rest. The back of the chair was also hinged so it could be lowered, thus landing her into a supine position.

It was then from his breast pocket he took out his pair of silver aviators and put them on. Nervously she bit her bottom lip as he pressed his hand on the small of her back leading her to the chair. Once seated he locked her wrists into place behind her. Walking around in front of her he lifted each leg guiding the slender high heels passed through the hole in the stir up and secured them fastening the large silver buckle.

Next he raised her chin, forcing her head back and into place buckling the last set of restraints attached to the articulated head rest. A device that allows the user to lock the submissive? s head into place and restricting her sight line to only what was in front of her.

She could see the shine off the long metal blades of the scissors and they passed under the light. He started by cutting through the delicate fabric her blouse and then down to her skirt. He cut and peeled each item off as if he was unwrapping a present. Next he sliced through each bra strap and then the center of the bra between breasts. Pulling the remains of the bra from her body she was completely naked and hoped that he would let her borrow something to wear for the trip home.

Sight of the nipple clamps brought her back to reality and while she could not bend her chin to look, she could see in the silver curved lenses his deft fingers plucking up her tender nipples and attaching to heavy metal clamps. Breath blew hard past her lips as she winced in pain. She jerked when she saw the second set. This time he bent down and took hold of the sensitive volva and pinched the flesh on one side then passing the chain on the clamps around the back of her to clamp her other side. It spread her lips wide exposing her. He reached down and touched her wet flesh. Working his fingers into her?