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I have never met a self-proclaimed dominant man, and I am curious as to what would happen. Would I no longer think of my own needs and dream only of pleasing Him? Could I stand this situation for long, or would it demolish my ego and personality? Would I, as the lovers say, truly do anything for him? How long could the excitement last? Would I ever be able to be vanilla again? Could I act normal with him when others were around? Are these desires or needs? Are they healthy? I have met dominant-seeming men, and the way they made me feel scared me, excited me, and confused me. I would like to try to get over (some) of the fear so I could be free to explore and find out the answers. The fear comes less from what he might do to me than how he makes me feel and what I might do to myself, and possibly of losing my sense of self in my "worship" of Him. Of course, that can even be a danger in a vanilla relationship . Sometimes I think I could be satisfied serving a Master without any sex, or even words involved. In a way, that would seem purer. I wonder how love is different when the power is not shared equally. I am sometimes afraid that my desire to serve/worship precludes an authentic love. My feelings are, of course, sexual, but also much more.
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