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I"m brand new to this site so be nice.
I'm not, however, new to BDSM. I"ve been a pervert forever. It first manifested itsself into actual practice at the age of 16. At that time, I didn't know what to call it, but I sure knew that I liked it. In my early 20's I played around with handcuffs and blindfolds and other restraints in bed, but it wasn't until the mid 90's, my first computer, the internet, prodigy chat that I first found BDSM online which led almost immediately to my first BDSM play party and was off and running. I had found my home.
Since then, I have owned two very successful BDSM businesses. I sold the first, www.detailstoys.com, in 2003 and it still thrives today. I started the second, www.smhertz.com, in 2007 and it also thrives today. With my business, I travel almost constantly to weekend BDSM events, so while it's very likely that I"ll soon be in a town near you, I"m not at all interested in a long distance relationship. I"d love to say hello to you in person if we happen to be at the same event, but unless you live within 50 miles of Seabrook, Texas, I don't know that i'm interested. I can be a massochist, but LDR's are pushing some serious limts for me.
I"m in a bit of a transitional place in my life. My husband of 14 years and I have recently agreed to have an open marriage. At this point I can't say exactly what I"m looking for in terms of a relationship, but I'll know it when I find it. I'm open to meeting new friends and possible playmates.
During my career as a pervert ( a term of endearment, get over it) I have become incredibly proficient on either side of the whip. I'm technically very skilled as a top, but my heart's just not in it. Over the past 15 years, I've assumed mostly the role of the top because I could play with lots of partners and still maintain control over the limits necessarily imposed by the fact that I was married. Playing with others has always been okay in terms of my marriage.
I am educated, articulate, fit, and financially secure. I'm drawn to people who share those same qualities. I have a few deal breakers. Smokers are one of them. Let me repeat that. If you are a smoker, please don't even contact me. No offense, but it just will not work between us as we have very different values and core beliefs. Long distance relationships are not something that I would consider in general. If we can't see eachother at least every other week, I won't find much joy in it. I am unwilling to relocate.
A man who interests me takes care of himself. He eats his veggies and works out. He regards his good health as precious and safeguards it. He has a healthy respect for money and is more likely to invest it than to spend it frivilously. He has good credit and good friends. If he has children, he as a good relationship with not only them, but thier mother.
A man who interests me understands that I am an equal partner in the relationship. I am strong and capable. When I give over control to him, it's only because I think it's hot to give it and he thinks its hot to take it. He appreciates the symbiotic nature of our relationship. We both thrive on the power exchange and I am not lesser because I submit to him. I am not 'a submissive' and he is not 'a dominant'. He is a man, I am a woman. Everything else is a negotiation between He and I and is no one else's business.
My submission is largely a bedroom thing, or I thought it was. I played the submissive role with my husband until 4 or 5 years into our marriage. At that time we pretty much stopped playing together. I've recently discovered that I crave both service and also punishment.
What does that mean? It means I want the BDSM to spill out of the bedroom just a little. In the right situation, I want to defer to a dominant man on many things. If I have a preference, believe me, he'll know it, but if it doesn't matter to me, I really enjoy the fact that he makes the decision.
Punishment. I've always thought that I didn't want to be punished. I thought that I wanted to be so pleasing that punishment would never be appropriate. I never wanted to be that bratty submissive looking for reasons for a spanking. This is mostly true, but I've found that when I feel I deserve the spanking, whipping, caning, whatever, that I can take a much more intense level of it. I don't know what's going on there psychologically, but sometimes I need to deserve it and that's all I have to say about that right now.
You might notice that I"ve put a fair amount of time and thought into this profile. I also do my best to at least reply to most people who send me a message. I'm busy though. If you send me some dumbass message that contains nothing more than "hi sweetheart" and then I go to your profile which says absolutely nothing about you, I probably won't bother to reply. In fact, I'll be a little bit annoyed that you wasted my time. It will definately not be a good first impression. You might ask yourself what you are even doing on this site? I"m not much into trolls... Sorry guys.
On a final note, I know that I set the bar high. I have to. This is my life. I've lived long enough to know what I want from it, and what I don't. I do not wish to waste my time or yours.
The pictures above were all taken August - late september 2010. I'm not a big fan of false advertising.
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