emeraude

Well, one way of expanding one's options is attending local munches.  You meet like-minded people living in your area.  At the very least, you make new friends which is always a good thing.  It's nice to be able to talk to others about topics of interest that you can't generally talk about to your family or vanilla friends.

Another place to meet people with the same interests are at workshops.  Attending workshops is great for people new to the lifestyle.  It's an easy way to see how things work and for those already knowledgeable, you can learn new skills or get new ideas. ;)

(edited to add)

I was messaged today by a "Dom" who believes that munches are a playground for predators who prey on the insecurities of subs.  I don't believe that at all.  I am not saying that ALL the people attending munches are good people.  Of course they aren't.  BUT...there are predators everywhere.  Just because one of them attends a munch, you can't say that ALL munches are only attended by predators hoping to find the one submissive who will blindly go where they lead.  There are good and bad people everywhere in life.  You need to trust your brain and your gut to keep you from trouble.

I myself, am suspect of someone who doesn't want you to socialize in any way with other like-minded individuals.  (MY OPINION!)  I would ask myself why.  Is he/she afraid I will learn something that might question the relationship? (MY OPINION!)

One hears all the time about how psychological/physical abusers isolate their victims.  I don't allow anyone to isolate me from knowledge and information.  At times, some of that comes from people at munches.  You learn that it's OKAY to say no.  It's OKAY to have limits.  Is that what the one who messaged me fears?  That the sub he finds will learn things he doesn't want them to know? Food for thought.

Oh, and please..(to the "Dom" I mentioned)...since you deleted the last response I sent you "unread", (I put it like that as we all know you can read the messages without opening them.) don't feel you need to send me another message. 

What is up with some of the "Doms" on here?

I get a mail message asking me if I want a real man to look at his pic.

Seriously????

Of course, my response was that all the Doms I talk to on here are real men, but that it takes more than that.  Is that what this has become?  Guys put a half naked picture on and expect women to drop at their feet in awe??  OMG PLEASE....TAKE ME NOW!  heh heh

I believe the song title that fits is Dreamer by Supertramp.

Agghhh

A rant:

Why.....WHY....would someone take the time to exchange messages, then talk on IM off this site, arrange to meet, CONFIRM it the day before and then NOT show up???

I mean, REALLY?

So, there I sat, waited 30 min, not including the time I waited 'cause I was early, and NO SHOW.  He had my cell number.

Nothing.

I check online when I get home.  Nothing.

What was the purpose?  To see if I was gullible enough?  I mean, he sounded GREAT!  Right on the same wavelength as I was.  *sigh*

I know this happens to other people as well, but if you changed your mind, just SAY so.  No harm, no foul.

I know, I know, I should have gotten a phone number for him.  And, now that I think about it, I did ask.  The subject was changed.  Perhaps I dodged a bullet. Hmmmm

At least I'm smart enough to meet daytime in a public place.  :)  Just not smart enough to insist upon at least a phone number.  And, apparently, not smart enough to see when I'm being played.  Oh well.  Live and learn!

Luckily, I'm an optimist. :)

I feel a bit bad for the Dominants on this site who are for real and are getting totally destroyed by the ones who think of this as a playground to get sex. 

Don't women know that an articulate mail message without reference to sex or even to being Dominated right off the bat can lead to a really fulfilling D/s relationship?

A real Dominant wants to know the submissive inside out so he can take her where she doesn't even realize she wants to go. (Does this make sense to anyone?  It does to me.)

Things I find odd (and sometimes scary):

Men with profiles that don't say anything about them except "Kneel before me and feel the lash of my whip".  Of course, when they are accompanied by mail saying, "You'd look good tied up naked", it becomes a bit scary especially since they have no idea who I am.

Men who want to play upon meeting without knowing a thing about the woman they've just met.

Men who want a blowjob upon meeting and if you don't give it to them, you're not a "real" sub.  Okay, this one actually makes me laugh, but think of the women don't know and think this may be the way a "real" Dom behaves.

Men who don't know the meaning of ramping up.  I'm not talking discipline, I'm talking about a play session.  I mean, honestly, discipline is SUPPOSED to hurt right from the start.  Otherwise, it wouldn't be a deterrent, would it?  But, as for ramping up, how else can the sub build up any tolerance.  My opinion, of course.

Men who don't seem to think they need a safe word because, of course, THEY know better.  HAH!

You'll notice I always say men, and not Dominants, that's 'cause I feel that Dominants would actually know better and the ones I'm talking about are NOT Dominants.  They just THINK they are.