ElizaBee

looking implies impassiveness....i want forever, eventually. i'm not looking to play, to experiment. i'm not looking to imply or guess. friendship comes first. either way, anyone i've met from here has been zero, zero, ZERO. all i ask for is patience. i want to meet my forever. i dont think its as hard as it seems.

silly rabbit...i ought to clear this up. i'm not looking for play partners, or training at the moment. i'm seeking long-term. i'm seeking friendship. everything else follows.

"we gotta hold on to what we got/ doesn't make a difference if we make it or not..." yeah, i said it.

alright...i was patient, i was kind. no more. if you are going to message me, message me properly. i dont know you, i'm not your slut. speaking down to me will not attract me to you, nor will asking for dirty photos. yes, i'm on the site for a reason, but i'm still a lady. and you should treat me as such. end.

is it a sin to dance?

i'm taking a step back. it's best i learn how to swim before i jump in. in my obsession, i'm missing the most important thing.

i'm aware that i'm new. and i'm aware that it takes time. and the proper teacher. but there are times that i sit here in complete ignorance. not of the lifestyle, but of EVERYTHING it involves. because i know it involves SO much of yourself. i think (or would certainly like to) that i have a good beginner's understanding of this. but its the part that makes me the beginner that i'm tiring of. it can make you feel so lost...to know where you belong, yet not really belong yet. patience, child...patience.

i've been visiting a certain slave training site a lot lately. i feel borderline obsessed, almost. it isnt (just) to get my rocks off, there's something about reading the detail behind training. how it involves so many aspects of who you are, and who you want to become. in the past i thought of myself as merely a "bedroom submissive", but the more i read, and think, and view, the more i feel as if i'd been wrong all along. maybe that part is whats been lacking in my life thus far, a sense of direction. i suppose i feel a certain pull towards that. towards all the things i dont know about this lifestyle, and how very deep it goes, truely. thats the level i want, thats the commitment. am i scared? yes, i am. but i'm ready.

Why are you so sweaty? -- I was watching COPS.

maybe its where i live. maybe its my choices. maybe its my looks, or personality, or potty mouth...whatever it is, i'm certainly not meeting who i hoped to meet. well, i'm certainly not meeting who i WANT to meet. advice?

Sex is the furthest thing from my mind. I'm seeking something with potential, someone with substance. To put it simply, I'm seeking my mate.

::sigh of contentment:: I feel at home here.

When beauty is not enough...you'll need to possess it, deny it, and then destroy it.

From complete and utter discourse I found it.
It, still not known.
Not judging or caring the way one might feel, look.
I couldn't cry if I wanted to, not now.
Punishment enough, you say...
I say, bring me more.
To feel your contempt for me, for all.
You dispise as much as you love.
Hurt as much as you heal.
And you, you enjoy every decadent ounce of it.
Like bathing in golden streams of sunlight, of bright, shining newness...purity.
You wish to claim what could never be yours, not completely.
I obey you, justly.
But do you possess what it takes to obtain true ownership of me?
It is not, was not, will never be "yes" or "no"
It is building, breaking, yearning...
You wish to humiliate, and destroy.
I wish to belong, whole and complete, to you.
Make me not your slave.
Make me not your enemy.
Love me, love me, love me.
As I do...you.
I wish not for failure and frivolity.
I wish for a life, a new life, with a new man,  as a new girl, in a new world.
I do not know this world yet.
Teach me, but love me.
Break me, but build me.
Show me wonders.
And I will show you life.