Elevationist

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions." --Augusten Burroughs

Who am I? I'm just... me. :) Now what that means varies, so you'll have to decide for yourself, to see what's truly inside.

What is that, then? When I look inside myself, what's there?

A sweet submissive girl with a prickly shell... One who dreams out loud, laughs too freely, tries too hard, moves too fast, loves too completely, gives too much, hurts too deeply, and forgives too easily.

I'm both honest and direct, often to a fault. Patience isn't my strong suit either, but I'm working on that.

Simultaneously strong and fragile, flirtatious and conservative, confident and insecure, intense and subdued, silly and serious.

I have a delicate heart worn on my sleeve. I can't deal with mind games or manipulations. I'm here as myself, without a mask, and I enjoy the company of people who operate in the same manner.

Yes, I'm a BBW. Yes, I'm working on that. I've dropped 66 pounds this year, and still going. I've spent a while now telling myself that there's no decent man out there that could possibly love me and desire me as I am. Recently, I've realized that while the odds are stacked against me... it's not impossible. So here I am, giving things a shot, seeing if there's anybody out there for me...

However, don't think for one minute that I am one of those "lonely desperate fat girl" types that is eager to jump your cock because nobody else will have her. I'm not going to screw you on the first date, or the second, and probably not the third either. If that's a problem, then I'll be happy to instruct you to politely go fuck yourself.

I'm a bit of a grammar nazi. If you butcher the English language in any text communication, don't get pissy when I refuse to respond. Please also keep in mind that the word "dominate" is a verb, not a noun or even an adjective. Please be smart enough not to confuse it with the word "dominant." Additionally, if you feel the need to capitalize "Me" when you type, save us both some time and punch yourself in the face. :)

You'll notice I've declined to list my kinks here, even though this is a BDSM website. Why? For the very simple reason that to me, the great sex is a bonus prize. It's NOT the foundation of a healthy and successful D/s relationship, and certainly not the criteria I wish to be judged by. Find out who I am... win my trust, and you'll learn what my body enjoys. If you're only looking for a "play" partner, move along. I'm not interested.

"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate her life, through devotion, to something beyond herself." --Henry Miller

I'm seeking a true, lasting, monogamous D/s partnership built on trust and mutual respect. I'm a submissive with a heart of service, but I'm not weak. I am no doormat subbie. Yes, I am strong, and I need a man in my life who is at least as strong if not stronger, I need him to make me want to be on my knees, I need him to weild power that I can't grasp, I need his guidance and discipline and love. My submission is earned, not freely given. But once it's offered, it comes with deep abiding loyalty, devotion, and an insatiable hunger to please. I crave being the happy-maker in my Dominant's world, and being essential to his quality of life.

There needs to be compatability in the more "vanilla" aspects of life as well, of course. Somebody who in a month or a year or ten years, we're both still going to be happy to curl up on the couch and watch a movie together. Who isn't afraid to laugh with me at silly stupid things. A man who is more than my Master or my lover, but also my best friend. Who loves every aspect of our life together, not just the D/s part. Somebody who understands that D/s is simply a style of relationship... a mold, a form, a shape... That it's the two PEOPLE inside that mold that make or break it.

Do not mistake my confidence for Dominance, or any desire to top from the bottom. If you can't handle a woman who is very open, direct, and to the point... I'm likely not the one for you.

The truth is this... I'm very simply a bright girl who is quite secure in what she's looking for in a partner, and totally unwilling to settle for less.

Anaïs Nin wrote in her journals: "I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."

Don't be afraid to say hi, to talk to me, to get to know me. You might be surprised with what you find. ❤